It was a calm day on the Great Sea. Link was on deck resting his eyes, which most would mistake as sleeping. But being the great hero he is, it is obvious he was awaiting something fierce.

"ZZZzzzZZZ. Ah, the cookies are attacking!"

…Never mind.

Link was suddenly awakened by a fierce, angry nemesis, that could destroy civilizations with just it's anger.

"Link! Get up you lazy bum!" Tetra yelled as she kicked him on his side. Link got up just as she commanded, and rubbed both his eyes with his hands.

"You didn't have to kick me." He muttered silently.

"What was that?!"

"Nothing!" Said Link hastily in fear. Yes, it was a great day for men everywhere indeed (Sarcasm).

Suddenly everyone fell to the ground…err deck. Something has hit the ship. This was a shock indeed even though there are many creatures in the depths of the sea. (More sarcasm)

"What was that?" Link asked Tetra.

"The best way to find out is to look at where we were hit!" Tetra replied as she and the rest of the crew looked down into the sea. Suddenly a large bird flew out of the sea and nabbed Tetra, as if she were a twelve year old girl…wait. Alright, seriously, why are a bunch of pirates taking orders from a little girl.

"just get on with the story!" Tetra yelled at the author.

"Yes ma'am!"

"…Why was there a bird in the sea?" Asked Gonzo.

"No time! Chase after it!" Link yelled, since he was the first mate.

"Aye you green wearing douche bag!" Everyone yelled as they chased after the bird.

"…Why is everyone so mean to me today?"

After chasing after the bird for a few minutes, the bird was able to outrun them…I mean out fly them.

"What do we do now Link?" Niko asked.

"Well, we need to obtain information about this mysterious bird. Zuko, is their an island around here?" Link asked.

"Aye, just north of here. We should make it in half an hour you green douche bag."

"Will everyone quit calling me douche bag?!"

"No." everyone said at once.

"I hate all of you."

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And that's the end of chapter one. Hopefully this doesn't suck.