Life Without the Slayer.
By:Amy

Author's Note: Well, well. The obsession returns. I was THIS close to clearing it! When Evil genius Joss had to air that amazing season finale. Damn him and his brilliance! Anyhow, this is my take on how the events of season 6 should occur....Enjoy! (And as per usual, I don't own these characters, yada yada yada)

And he kissed her. Overjoyed that she didn't refuse or pull away. In all his years, he had never kissed anyone as gently and as delicately as he was to his beloved Buffy. She was enchanting and he seemed to fall more and more in love with her everytime he saw her. At first, he could remember that she seemed repulsed, disgusted when he told her he loved her but he now discovered that that was because she didn't quite realize the intensity of his love. She reached her hand behind his neck and gently touched his hair. He kept his arms loosely wrapped around her waist. She pulled away rather suddenly surprising him once again.

"Spike, this can't work. I can never be with you......with anyone."

What?

And then she was gone. Disappeared and he woke up, once again alone in his pathetic excuse for a home. Why did he put up with this place? In all his years, he had lived in numerous places around the world, mansion, castles, palaces, or at least high class apartments, never EVER a crypt. Why did he insist on staying here so long? But there was no use denying it. He knew the answer. It was for her. Everything was for her. But she was gone now. Nothing left for him in this bloody town. But yet he couldn't leave. He could never leave. Everything here reminded him of her and he was willing to take anything he could get. She was so beautiful and so amazing, even though she knew of his feelings for her, and he knew they were unrequited, she didn't refuse to be near him, she treated him with respect, she treated him like an equal.

"I know you'll never love me. I
know I'm a monster......but
you treated me like a man...
and thats....."

Why hadn't he finished that sentence? Maybe if he had, she would have looked upon things differently....

No.

She wouldn't have continued to live just because he wanted her to. She was far too heroic for that. He had done too many what ifs and maybe if I games in the past few months and he couldn't stand it anymore, since the day she died, he slipped into this state of perma-depression. Even HE didn't realise that he loved her this much. But life without Buffy seemed like no life at all.

Buffy was a hero. He couldn't even believe, even now, how incredibly brave and selfless she was with everything she did. She always came last, she had her priorities set a little differently than he would have done but that was what he loved about her. She was amazing, she was incredible. She was Buffy......

And that night, that horrible night up on that tower. The ritual had started because he allowed himself to be pushed off by that rat bastard. If only he had managed to stay up there longer, then the rat-man would never have been able to cut Dawn and Buffy would still be alive. He curled up in misery at that, it was true. He blamed himself. He was responsible for Buffy's death. Oh god. And he kept having such wonderful dreams about her. That she loved him too. But only a dream. She would never have loved him and he'll never get to see her again. Never get to smell the marvelous mango scent that always surrounded her. Or touch her soft hair. Her hair was so soft. And long and golden. Now it wasn't even a case of wanting her anymore, just seeing her beautiful face would make him the happiest man in the world.

And Dawn, poor Dawn, first by losing Joyce to the annurism. That too, had hurt Spike greatly but was nothing in comparison to what he was feeling now. But Dawn had no one now. Her father was as Buffy would say, "not very active in his fatherly duties". And so now her mom AND her sister had passed away.

God, he couldn't even think it without his eyes swelling up. He missed her so much. In her last few months he had tried so hard to prove that his love was real and not superficial, helping her out whenever he could, unsuccessful in getting her love, but he did get her respect which meant a great deal to him as well. And when he asked that Warren guy to build the Buffy robot. That was a big mistake and he knew it. But luckily he made up for it when Glory captured him and tried to torture the identity of the key out of him but to no avail. Buffy had come to him afterward in his broken state pretending to be his robot. She managed to get his reasons for not saying anything out of him and was genuinely touched that she kissed him ever so softly on his lips. For him that was the sign, that his love for her was true, he knew instantly that she was the real Buffy the second he felt her lips, she kissed so differently than the robot. More genuinely, which was probably because she was human whereas the robot only did what it was programmed to. That was the closest he ever got to her...to know her touch......

"Spike?"

Jerked into reality.

"Uh hey Will...what's up?" He asked getting out of bed and going over to the closet to put a shirt on.

"Well, Spike, I was just coming over to see what was up with you. You haven't really come hang out with us in a long time."

Well, duh.

But he could never tell her that the only reason he spent time with the scooby gang was to be near Buffy, that was just too heartless, he did genuinely like Willow, she was honest and down to earth.

"Yeah....well, um, sorry 'bout that. I just haven't really felt up to it." He said, barely audible, he never spoke at normal pitch anymore, it was all just low quiet speech which didn't go unnoticed by Willow who chose to say nothing. She knew the reason.

"You really loved her didn't you?" She said flat-out. She kind of felt bad for him. He was similar to Buffy in the respect that no matter what he did, he never got a break.

"Yup." He said honestly. Not being able to bring himself to do anything else.

"You know, she did notice all the wonderful things you did for her."

"Yeah, well a fat lot of good it did, didn't it." Spike responded immediately regretting it. There was no need to be snappy with Willow, she was obviously just trying to help.

"Spike, you are NOT responsible for her dying. I can TELL that's what you're thinking. You're probably thinking that if only you hadn't got pushed off that tower, she would still be alive, don't you?"

He just nodded. Astounded that she had managed to hit the nail right on the head.

"There was nothing you could have done. But everything you did was truly incredible. Like, for example that time that Glory captured you and tried to force you to tell her about Dawn. And you took severe beatings to protect her. I know that that really got to Buffy because the next day she wouldn't shut up about it for like an hour."

Spike raised his head, intrigued that Buffy was happy about that. Anything that made her happy was worth the trouble.

"Really?" He said, not really knowing what to think now.

"Yeah, she was all 'I can't believe Spike would do that for me and Dawn, that was so nice of him, blah blah blah...."

Spike found himself temporarily happy but then reality slapped him in the face once again.

"Well, it wasn't worth while in the end. Buffy's still dead. What does it matter now?" He said it more as a statement but Willow chose to respond.

"A lot Spike. Buffy said to me that she couldn't have done it without us. She made a point to say especially you. You DID help a lot. Spike. And Buffy may be gone but it still has really affected the way the rest of us look at you."

"What do you mean?"

"We see that underneath that tough, vampire exterior, there lies a man. A man with real feelings and emotions like compassion, sympathy.....and love. And I have gained so much more respect and, surprisingly trust with you. Buffy trusted you with her whole family. She didn't do that with many people Spike. You should appreciate that."

He looked down at his feet and blushed a little. "Thanks, Will, this has meant a lot to me."

"No problem, just promise me that you'll stop by the magic shop later tonight. We're all gonna be there. You are coming. I'm gonna make you."

Spike had no choice but to laugh a little at that. To be wanted there. If only it was Buffy insisting he was there....But that was never gonna happen.

"Alright Will. I'll be there. I promise."

And at that, she smiled and left. Spike spent the rest of the day wallowing in his own misery. He missed her so much that sometimes he was sick.

Life Without Buffy just wasn't getting any easier.....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter 2
Chapter 2....
By:Amy

Author's Note: Hello People! Feedback always wanted at dabuffbuff@hotmail.com

Later at the magic shop, everyone was there, Xander, Anya, Giles, Tara, Willow, Dawn and now Spike. Boy was this uncomfortable. Spike had never felt so out of place in his life. He had to laugh at the irony that here, the great William the Bloody was spending Friday evening hanging out with a group of humans.

A little light conversation happened off and on but the ever-present excitement of when Buffy was there was gone now. Suddenly, the magic shop door opened and a middle-aged man walked into the store. Dawn was the first to speak.

"Dad! What are you doing here?" It was more of a shocked statement than a happy-to-see-you question.

"Well, I came back to the office and had a message from Buffy to come into Sunnydale right away she didn't say why-"

Everyone cringed at the use of Buffy's name outside of the mourning tone.

"-She also said, if no one answers at the house, to come look for you guys here at the shop. It's so good to see you Dawnnie! Where's your sister and your mom? Have they gone shopping or something? Buffy's not buying MORE shoes is she?"

Spike watched as Dawn's face started to swell up." She got up out of her chair and stood square in front of him. She was on the verge of crying. He could tell from the way she was holding herself in a defensive stance and how she clenched her teeth.

"You wanna know where they are dad? They died! Both of them. Mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor about 8 months ago and Buffy and I were dragged through hell and back because of it! About 2-3 months after that, she was officially cured. But! Then Buffy came home only to discover dead mom on the floor of the living room! Paramedics said an annurism popped in her cerebrum. But at least it was painless right? That's what I had to keep telling myself in order to keep from crying non-stop. Oh! And did you know that Buffy was a vampire slayer? NO! OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T! You don't know anything. She was incredibly strong...and so brave! She is, and will forever be my hero. She was the most powerful human being on the entire planet. On that note, I'm NOT human! Did you know that either? I'm this all important key that opens the portals between demon dimensions and once the ritual is performed and my blood starts to flow , the gates will only close when the blood stops, so basically, when I die! I was captured, the ritual was started and Buffy found out that she and I shared the same blood so she KILLED HERSELF So that I could live! She sacrificed her own life, so that I could go on. And while all this was happening, you were in Spain......DOING YOUR SECRETARY!"

Dawn was in tears now. Giles took her to the corner of the room to comfort her and Spike could feel as a tear rolled down his cheek. Not wanting the others to see him in that state, he shook it away. He looked up at Hank Summers who was obviously in complete shock. He was looking at his feet when he suddenly looked at the rest of the table.

"I-I just can't believe it. I took a leave of absence from work. Not even for a full year and in that time, my ex-wife and my oldest daughter have passed away and my other daughter hates me. And she isn't human? What was that? Buffy was a vampire slayer? Does somebody care to explain?" He said looking around the table somewhat expecting a response. Xander decided to step up to the challenge.

"No."

Wow. Not the answer anybody was expecting him to give. But all the while fitting. Willow feeling a little sorry for Hank decided to put him down a little easier.

"Well, Mr. Summers, I think Dawn said all that was needed to be said."

Hank Summers looked over to Dawn who was crouched over, hugging her knees quietly sobbing while Giles was squatted in front of her trying to calm her down.

"Well, I can't believe this. I just can't believe it.......I want to see them."

Anya now was confused. "What? See who?"

"Buffy and Joyce. Can one of you please show me where they are?"

Nobody offered. Spike decided to go, because he wanted to visit Buffy himself. "I'll show you where they are."

"Thank you."

And off they went. Everyone else didn't know what to do. They were in quite the predicament. Dawn was in tears, Giles was trying to comfort her and everyone else was absolutely silent. They had no idea whether life without Buffy could ever work.

Meanwhile, Spike and Hank were walking through the cemetary in an awkard silence.

"So, how do you know my daughter?What was your name?...."

"Um...Spike..." What was he supposed to say? 'Oh yeah, I'm a blood-sucking vampire who's fallen hopelessly in love with your daughter'?

"And what's your relation?......"

Shit.

"Well, Mr. Summers, if you must know.....I'm in love with Buffy."

"Were you dating?"

Dammit. He always asked the wrong questions.

"No." Spike said flatly. It was the truth. He never dated her and even if she was still alive, he would never date her. She would have never thought of him that way. That was the truth. The cold, hard truth.

At that point, they just went silently to the graves of Buffy and Joyce Summers which were relatively close together. Spike knew it would take a lot of effort but he would have to hold it in and maintain his dignity.

"Oh my God..."

They were there. Spike couldn't help but feel bad for the man. To look at the graves of the mother of your children AND your first born would probably be more than a man could handle. Hank Summers then just sat down against the tree in front of Buffy and stared blankly at her headstone. Spike just stood there awkwardly focusing on not looking at Buffy's grave in fear that he would lose his cool. Even if she had been gone for 3 months, he was still more in love with her than ever.

After about 10 minutes. Hank got up, said goodbye to Spike and left town. Spike just watched him walk away and decided he had nothing left to do and left also. He mustered up the courage to say what he wanted without breaking apart.

"G-goodnight Buffy." And with that he walked back to his dark, lonely crypt.

* * * * * * * *

Later that night......

A group of men in cloaks entered the cemetary and gathered around the grave that was chosen for the ritual they had in mind.

"Alright men. This is the one." The leader said pointing at the grave of!....

Buffy Anne Summers
1981-2001
Loyal Sister
Devoted Friend
She saved the world
a lot.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter 3
By:Amy

Dawn felt bad. She wasn't ready to apologize but he was the only family she had now. So she followed them. She was about 10 minutes behind but how could she lose them? It was a direct route from the Magic Shop to the cemetary. But to her dismay, when she got to Buffy's grave, instead of a grieving father and a lovesick vampire she found a bunch of cloaked men circled around Buffy, chanting. Dawn ran up to them and shoved the one holding the book out of his place in the circle.

"What are you doing!!" She said gruntily. How dare they disturb Buffy in her peace!

"YOU LEAVE HER ALONE!"

One of the men turned to the person next to him and said matter-of factly: "That's the key. Dawn's the name, she's the sister."

Dawn didn't know what do to. She was starting to regret showing herself so quickly. She was just a little teenaged girl. Alone in a cemetary. With about 10 unknown men.

The leader turned to face Dawn.

"You misunderstand, madam. We do not wish to impose any harm on your sister. Quite the contrary actually. We wish to set her free..."

"What? How? What do you mean?" Dawn was upset and confused and didn't feel like hearing them out but she knew she had to, they were talking about Buffy.

"First of all. Let me introduce this group. We are the Gods of Refugon. We decided that we all felt your sister's act was beyond her call of duty and thus should be rewarded."

Dawn said and did nothing. She still didn't understand.

"We feel that Buffy Summers act of sacrificing herself for your survival was a selfless and unbelievably heroic thing to do. She is an asset to this world..."

"So what are you doing?"

"We are going to bring your sister back."

That was all Dawn needed to hear. She knew better. When their mom had died. Dawn had tried a spell to resurrect her and was fully warned in advance that she would not be the same person at all.

"What will she be like? Will she be all zombie-like and scary? Will she be weak or different? Will she still have the same personality and same voice?"

The God could sense her skepticism and was content to put her mind at ease.

"You needn't worry young one. Your sister will be exactly the same person she was when she left this world. All her traits; good AND bad; will remain in tact. She, will be a little weak at first but if she continues to train, she will be able to build her strength back."

"OH! That's good. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes. We cannot have the key within the path.The energy will disrupt our circle. We need a 100 yard radius clear so this can be a success. You may wait just outside the circle which would be right on the edge of the cemetary. The ritual will take 32 minutes and then we will bring your sister to you."

And with that, Dawn was off. She went and she sat on the sidewalk crosslegged hardly able to contain her excitement. Buffy was coming back! Her beloved sister! Now she could tell Buffy exactly how much what she did meant to her. And, as Dawn could already feel the tears swelling up behind her eyes she decided to try and distract herself with other things. Such as staring at her watch every thirty seconds.

Just when Dawn was starting to get really bored. She saw the group of Gods coming toward her from inside the cemetary. Dawn stood up in anticipation. Just then, the Gods parted and there she was. Buffy was alive and well and coming towards her eagerly smiling. The second Dawn saw her she burst into tears and ran towards Buffy. Buffy, unable to run due to a rusty hip joints and bones and such just started to walk as fast as she was capable of doing.

"BUFFY! OH MY GOD! BUFFY! I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!"

"Dawn! I'm so glad you're okay!"

The two sisters just stood hugging for a long time while the Gods just watched the two reunite. After a few minutes the Gods left the two sisters alone. After a long while, Buffy and Dawn finally separated and Buffy took her turn to cry when she looked at Dawn. She barely managed to get control of herself but managed to spit out.

"I'm so happy to see you!"

Then after a second hug, the two girls started to walk home.

"Oh! Our house! It's so pretty! I've missed it too! I've missed these three steps to the front door and our stairs and that tree I climbed down so many times." Buffy kept going on about everything, completely overjoyed at seeing the simple things she took for granted the last time she was there.

They got inside the house and Buffy couldn't stop smiling. She went upstairs.

"Dawn! I'm gonna have a shower and change my clothes so that I look presentable for the gang. Do you know are they all at the magic shop or are they at their separate homes?"

"They're at the magic shop pulling an all-night inventory thingie or something."

"Oh! Ok. Great. I'll be about 10 minutes in the shower ok?"

"Okay!" There was a moment of silence and Dawn stepped up to Buffy and gave her a quick tight hug.

"I'm so glad you're back." She whispered in Buffy's ear. Buffy could feel the tears sliding down her cheek . How would she react to seeing the gang? Would they welcome her with open arms? They had probably formed new lives without her and might not want her back....NO! That was horrible way of thinking.

'Just get in the shower Buffy' She had to remind herself.

* * * * * * * *

"Geez! Buffy! You take SO long!"

Buffy Summers walked out of the bathroom all ready to go. Dawn just stared at her in awe.

"I'm Sorry Dawnnie! I just wanna look my best for the gang you know? I haven't seen them in 4 months."

Dawn started to talk, mouth gaped open. "Buffy, you are beautiful. You really are. Totally stunning. You look so good. A little on the skinny side, but still.....Fabulous."

Buffy was a little taken aback by this comment. Dawn never used to go out of her way to pay a compliment to her. On the other hand, these were different circumstances.

"Well, Dawn, you sit in a box for 4 months and you'll lose 20 pounds too.Heh, he,hmm." Buffy laughed nervously. Obviously Dawn wasn't ready to joke about what had happened.

"Alright, I'm ready to go."

And then the two sisters left. They had to walk slower than usual due to the fact that Buffy still had a long way to go until she was at full strength. In fact, she was so far away from that point that she had a little trouble climbing up and down the stairs. The walk over to the magic shop, was silent, both girls hand in hand, just happy to be in the other's presence.

* * * * * * * *

Meanwhile, at the magic shop....

"Giles, Did I ever tell you how much I dislike inventory? Why do you need to know how many orbs there are anyway? Nobody ever buys them." Xander whined. It was a 9:30 on a Friday evening and he was spending it doing unpaid work. At least he got to spend it with his best friends....Well, not all of them but this was just the way things turned out and he would just have to deal. Everyone else didn't really feel the need to say anything and so the room remained quiet until Dawn burst in the door with a huge smile on her face.

Willow took her turn to speak first.She ran over to Dawn and wrapped her arms around her. "Dawn! You just ran out of here! We were all so worried! Did you find your dad okay?"

Whoa. With all the events of the past hour, Dawn had completely forgot about that.

"Oh! Yeah! But actually I have much better news. But first off, I wan't you all to know that this isn't some stupid thing I thought up because I am an immature teenager. Alright? So you guys wanna hear what happened?"

Everyone just nodded, a little baffled at her extreme giddyness.

"Alright. I went to Buffy's grave but instead of Spike and Dad, there were a group of cloaked men surrounding her. I, ummm, I ....Well, I pushed one down and demanded to know what they were doing. They explained to me that they were the Gods of Refugon, you heard of them Giles?"

"Yes, I have. Please continue.."

"Ok. Anyway, the leader explained to me that they had a meeting or something and decided that they thought that what Buffy did for me and the world was, and I quote 'Beyond the call of duty...That she was selfless and unbelievably heroic.' They also said that Buffy is an asset to this world so they performed a ritual and.....tada!"

Dawn gently grabbed Buffy's arm from outside on the sidewalk and brought her into the store. Upon the sight of all of her friends, Buffy started sobbing instantly. Everyone else was just in complete shock.

Giles was so ecstatic he almost cried. "Buffy? Is that really you?" Buffy just nodded gently through her crying and they ran up to each other and Giles gave her the biggest hug he had given anyone in his entire life. When Willow saw the two of them re-uniting, she started to cry herself. Tara immediately turned to her and patted her gently on the back while she buried her face in her hands. When Buffy heard Willow start to cry, she let go of Giles and went to her and gave her a big bear hug. The two girls were crying out of pure joy.

"Will! I've missed you so much!"

"Same here Buffy, Same here!!!!"

Dawn, just watched with a huge smile beaming across her face. She was so happy that her older sister was back. And she was so happy to see everyone gathering together again. The group was back together again, over the few months while Buffy was gone, the group didn't really have much to do. There was no great evil, thankfully considering that would have been hard to get rid of without a slayer. The council had decided not to call another one considering Faith still lived. They figured that it was a perfect opportunity to get rid of that pesky 2 slayer problem.

Meanwhile, Anya could feel Xander trembling ever so slightly. As per usual, she managed to be completely unaware to the highly intense emotions involved with this particular situation.

"Xander? Why are you trembling? Is it because you are happy that Buffy isn't dead anymore?" She asked loud enough for everyone to look at her.

"What? What'd I do?" At that Buffy walked over and gave Anya a hug. Not as emotionally as the ones she gave to Giles and Willow, but all the while meaningful.

"I've missed your wit Anya."

Anya was shocked. Never had Buffy been so straight forward with her about anything. She awkwardly hugged her back, a little surprised at the new kind of happiness she was feeling.

"I've missed you to Buffy. You made Xander sad."

Buffy gave a gentle laugh and then switched over to Xander.

"And Xander! Afterlife without your jokes to cheer me up sucked!" And they exchanged a huge hug as well. By this point she had stopped crying but she was all the while extremely overwhelmed with joy about seeing him again. Xander just remained silent and hugged Buffy back tightly. He too was overwhelmed at the thought of having Buffy back in his life.

After hugging it out with Xander, Buffy walked over to Tara.

"And you! What would I do without you and your wiccan ways? I love your shy charm Tara." When that hug was finished Buffy took a step back and stared at all her loved ones. Dawn, Giles, Anya, Xander, Tara and Willow. The realization that there was the possibility that she could have never seen them again reared it's ugly head and Buffy couldn't help but start to cry again. This time everybody came in to hug Buffy as she cried openly. She was back. She had life and could walk and talk and laugh and live and love again. She had been given a gift and would have to cherish it and appreciate it forever and live her life to the fullest.

The End!
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