Warning: Sibling incest


Dwarves only love once. They may have passing feelings, stirrings even or lustful ventures but in the end – it all came down to The One. His mother had his father, Gimli had his wife, and he, Fili he had his Kili.

It'd been the two of them, hands clasped together in the darkness of night, kisses stolen on their turn to stay awake, secret smiles atop ponies and tangled tongues in Rivendell, fingers mapping known territory, exploring memorized muscles and familiar skin, settling over thumping heartbeats.

Then they got to Mirkwood and she came into the picture. Tauriel, an elf, one of the fair folk and ten thousand times lovelier than he. He feels massive, lurking, and is all too aware of his dirty fingernails, unkempt hair and tattered clothing when he sees the look in his brothers eyes, always looking at her instead of him. Something in his chest cracks when he's forced to listen to his brother share precious memories with an elf from his tiny, cramped cell. Yet Kili doesn't tell the whole story, he doesn't tell of how they'd shared a fur that night, wrapped around both of them as fingers twisted together under the moonlight. Doesn't tell her how sweetly Kili had kissed him that night, how good he'd made him feel, with the sweetness of wine still on his tongue from hours before. So he lays back and pretends not to listen to his brother's voice as shards of his heart drop down into his stomach.

They escape, barely and he screams his brother's name when he hears the twang of the arrow released and the thump of it hitting its mark. He doesn't want to be grateful to her, but he is. He'd be grateful to Smaug himself if it meant Kili was safe.

When he watches Kili gaze back at the forest from the safety of the barge, his throat burns because he knows what Kili yearns for. When he reaches for his hand, meant in comfort and a secret touch of affection and Kili simply smiles at him, he knows he's lost him.

So when his brother stares blearily, murmuring sweet words into the ears of the she-elf, her hands still pressed into the wound on his leg, all Fili feels is numbness.

They drift apart, as helpless as two leaves floating atop a lake. They barely speak anymore, and when Fili's knees jerk before battle and Kili's hands shake, they embrace and for one moment, things are as they were before, as they were for so long and Fili inhales his brother's scent one more time.

Later, when there are three arrows protruding from his chest, and a knife in his shoulder, Fili considers that Kili really was it for him, even if he wasn't the only one for Kili. If he'd known that would be the last time he'd see his brother, he would have held him a little tighter, whispered all his last confessions into his hair and kissed him, with one last `I love you' racing over his tongue.

And it is Kili who sees his brother, sees the golden hair he's known forever, and he rushes to him though it seems that ten goblins haunt his every step, and his feet feel like they're made of lead. He reaches out a hand to his brothers cheek, cold as ice, and tears blind him as he collapses on top of him, his Fili, his ...

A sword ends his thoughts, and the last thing he sees is his brother's face.