First post of hayffie week!
Day 1 is : Inspired by a song.
I chose Talk to me by Yodelice covered by Maxim Nucci. I hope you enjoy it!
Talk To Me
Something just changed in your soul
Tell me baby what's wrong
What's going on?
Have you been crying?
He doesn't notice at once. Her eyes are reddish but it could be a trick of the light due to her make-up. This year is different and, somehow, he supposes they both feel it. They've grown attached to Katniss and Peeta like they haven't let themselves grow close to tributes in a while.
Still, she's usually bright and bubbly on launching day regardless of her personal feelings. This year, she clutches his hand in hers and chews on her lips waiting to see if the kids will do the smart thing and run away from the Cornucopia.
It feels different.
Something just flaked in your eyes
There's a crack in your gaze
Like those broken days
Am I seeing things…
He reads the fear in her eyes when Katniss takes the berries out of her pocket, he sees the terrified spark of recognition when the Gamemakers declare them both winners. Almost as if she knew what is in store for making the Capitol look ridiculous. But she can't. She doesn't.
She's the perfect Capitol doll, the perfect Capitol drone and she's not so good an actress as to fool him.
He hates her. Or he used to. At some point, hating her required too much energy and maybe he started liking her a little.
But he knows her.
Doesn't he?
Talk to me,
Baby, talk, it's me.
Talk to me
Victory Tour is a brand new kind of hell. She flinches at every loud noise, gives wary glances to Peacekeepers and remains close to him or the kids when they're not on the train. She still acts like nothing's out of the ordinary, like she's oblivious and dim-witted. The kids are fooled by the performance.
He isn't.
He doesn't dare ask what she knows and how. He doesn't dare ask if she's been playing fool all along. He doesn't know what's worse : pretending to be unaware or being that naïve.
He wishes she would come to him.
She doesn't.
Something got hold of your soul
You're like never before
Is there something more
Have I missed anything?
She's angry like he has never seen her and bad at hiding it. The Quell has her sprouting nonsense about team, matching tokens and harsh words behind closed doors that make his hair rise on the back of his neck. Defiance. Not a word he would have associated with Effie Trinket.
He wonders what has changed her and he thinks maybe she has not changed at all. Maybe she wasn't the blind one, maybe he was. Maybe he has missed what has been right under his eyes all along. An ally, a friend and not an enemy or a spy.
Seems like the sun is shining
On everyone but me
Won't you talk to me?
This is getting scary
He watches Finnick being reunited with Annie in the Thirteen's hospital and his heart aches. The memory of her, her absence, tug on heartstrings that haven't been played in too long. He didn't know. It sounds stupid but he didn't know and now he misses her something fierce.
He would give anything to hear her annoying voice.
The silence is his undoing. The silence has him punching walls in the privacy of his compartment, terrified at the thought he will never find her again, terrified at the thought he will never hear her again. He even misses the constant nagging.
Baby, talk to me
Please, talk to me
Baby, talk, it's me
Talk to me
When he steps in her hospital room, three days after the official surrender, she doesn't open her mouth. It's not him she's ignoring, it's the rest of the world. She doesn't talk, she doesn't eat, she doesn't cry, she doesn't scream… She curls up on her side and stares at the wall.
At some point he gives up, lies down next to her, ignores the glares of the nurses and doctors… He stares at the same wall she does and he waits.
It's only when she turns around, buries her face in his neck and starts sobbing that he breathes.
Something just changed in my world
And it's killing me.
She is broken. In so many places, in so many ways. He can't help her. He tries, he tries every day, but every day he fails.
It is barely a comfort that she trusts him enough to let him see her hurting when she pretends for the rest of the world. They all see the smiles when he sees the cracks in her mask.
She resents him for it.
He thinks she loves him a little bit for it too.
The world is different and so are they.
He's not sure it's for the best.
He knows pain never fades.
