Silly Dear Diary,
My name is Aerith. I am sitting in my beloved church tending my flowers as The Planet whispers words sleepily to me. I hear of much sadness, but also of sparkling hope for the future.
You see… I am an Ancient, the last Cetra believed to be alive. It is a lonely feeling be the last. The only. It is a great weight on my shoulders that feels so heavy…
But not so much anymore. Not since I met him. His name is…Zack Fair. He feels like a new beginning for me…one I never really let myself imagine. It is a sweet little dream of me and him sitting out somewhere in a meadow of flowers, with the sun blossoming light on both of us…
I'm still scared of the sky, but…not so much anymore. Zack says the sky has scary moments, but it is also very pretty and he's sure that I would love it. I believe it. He makes it seem beautiful and wonderful, a pure fantasy…
I think I love him. He makes things…easier and yet…so complicated! It is so endearing the way he smiles at me, so I think he loves me too. My Mama isn't so thrilled about him, but…I don't think she hates him so much anymore, either.
Ha, I just can't seem to stop writing that down. Actually, that is the best way to describe my life so far:
Not so much anymore.
It sounds bad at first, but…it really isn't.
I'm not scared so much anymore. The future still seems grim, but not so much that I fear that I will stay locked inside my house anymore. I'm not so scared of the Turks anymore. I always bluffed I wasn't but lately…
I really am not scared of them or Shinra. Which is definitely dangerous, but… I'm not so scared. Not so… much anymore.
I think…I'll tribute all that to Mr. Fair. Happy-go-lucky Zack. Well, that is pushing it a bit too much,
I think. He has his own demons, even if most people wouldn't expect it. Yet I think… I make him a little less scared and alone, too. He isn't normal, but he is normal unlike me. It kind of hurts to think like that though, ha.
I'm still unsure exactly what writing all this down is for, but… It's a little easier now. At first I sort of just stared at the journal accusingly, wondering why it couldn't write itself, but… It became just a little easier once I finally wrote down the first word, then a bit more a sentence later, and then I realized I had made a paragraph and then wrote a whole page!
I guess I'm rambling. Or can you ramble when you write? I'll ask Zack. He'd think it's cute,
I'm sure. Hmm… You know, I think since I started this new beginning with writing my thoughts down…maybe I should tell him.
I've always been afraid he'd look at me differently, but after holding him as he mourned the fact that his mentor had given him his sword and left him behind…and yet still reaches out for him despite everything he has seen and endured…
I've decided to tell him. I'm scared still, but not so much… I trust Zack. I believe in Zack. I think he might- no I know Zack is the reason for this. I really might be in love! Oh! I'm sure I am. What a mysterious and wonderful thing.
He told me he'd come down tomorrow. Maybe I'll show him my journal…? Or would that be cowardly
of me? I'm not sure. I'll try to tell him everything tomorrow. What I am. That I love…
Or is that too much for one man? I'm not good at this. I've never had someone who was sweet on me that I also felt sweet on. What a peculiar way of writing it! Oh well. Shilly shalley dilly dalley. I'm sure I'll make the right decision tomorrow.
Whatever that may be!
