The Kiss:

His hair seemed even darker when wet and water dripped from his curls onto his face, past his deep blue eyes that were now staring right through me. The sight was entirely too alluring and as much as I knew I should, I couldn't tear my eyes away him. I realized I was staring then and I could feel my cheeks burn in embarrassment. Wesly smiled back at me and it lit up his entire face. His eyes mirrored his smile. His perfect teeth beamed behind his tanned lips, those same lips that had so frustratingly been the object of my obsession all day. His eyes stared into mine and I felt something inside me melt. He took a slow step towards me and my heart began to race and for some reason it unsettled me. I'm not ready for this.

I turned from him diving into the water and began swimming back towards shore. A moment later I heard Wesly splash into the water behind me. Within seconds I could feel him right on my heels. I ignored my entrained instinct to swim faster and instead slowed my pace. With every stroke he was gaining on me. His arm brushed my calve sending a chill up legs. A battle of emotions was going on inside me.

Run Ellie, you aren't ready for this.

Stay, maybe you are.

Soon the water was too shallow to swim anymore and I stopped, propping myself up on my knees in the water, afraid to turn around and face him. I could hear him approaching behind me. I was frozen, arguing with myself to turn and face him or run for the shore. Behind me I heard his strokes cease and silence surround me. I could feel his body inches from me, his warmth wrapping around me like a blanket as he knelt behind me, not saying a word. I could hear his heavy breaths and feel the warmth of them brush over my shoulders. My heart was pounding out of my chest. I turned to face him.

His eyes locked on mine with a seriousness that froze me where I was. His lips grazed mine and I felt a wave of heat roll over my body. Part of me wanted to pull away. I wasn't ready for this. But a larger part of me ached to stay right where I was.

I leaned back in the water using my hand to guide me I slowly walked my self closer to the shore, still unsure if I wanted to escape, yet never breaking my gaze from his. Soon the water was too shallow to even crawl and I propped myself up on my elbows in the surf. He held his body just inches above mine and brushed his lips ever so slightly against mine again sending another wave of heat through me. God I wanted this. But I couldn't. Hadn't I just come out of a relationship that ended horribly? Hadn't we both said we just wanted to be friends? But there was nothing friendly about the longing gaze in his eyes and certainly nothing friendly about the way I wanted him now.

He took my face gently in his hand rubbing my cheek with his thumb. His other hand slid around my waist up my back pulling me into to his warm chest setting my whole body on fire. His eyes met mine again and the sincerity in his gaze made it hard to breathe. His fingers traced my cheek, my jaw, then slid around my neck pulling my face closer to his. I closed my eyes, waiting, anticipating his touch. Would I let this happen? I couldn't bring myself to make him stop. I wanted him, wanted his kiss. His breath washed over my face like a summer breeze. His lips ever so lightly kissed each of my eye lids, first one, then the other, then one cheek and the other. There was something hesitant, something so careful about his kiss as though he knew I was still unsure. Tentatively his lips trailed slowly down my jaw stopping just below my ear as he placed another soft kiss there, massaging the back of my neck with his hand. He repeated this down the other side of my face and when his lips stopped to place another tender kiss just below my ear my heart nearly burst out of my chest. It was pounding so hard I was sure he could feel it beating though me against his chest. Again, I had the sudden anxious need to run. His mouth slowly inched closer and closer to mine. I couldn't move, frozen by my uncertainty. His lips found mine then. At first his lips moved slowly and carefully against mine. My heart swelled in my chest with a desire I had never felt before and though I wanted to pull him in closer I refrained. I felt paralyzed, yet acutely aware of his every touch. I was helpless to make a move of my own and was dangerously close to coming undone. I wanted this, I wanted him. I wanted to feel myself wrapped in his protective arms, his body against mine, and I ached to kiss him back with all the passion I had built up inside me. As though he heard my thoughts he pulled my body flush to him. I could feel every inch of his stone hard body against my own. His tongue traced my lips and I opened my mouth to him. His tongue continued to tease my lips for a moment longer then dove into my mouth. When his met mine it set my whole body on fire again and I moaned involuntarily in response. He pressed my body deeper into the sand of the shallow bay water. His hand rubbed up my back pulling me closer to him. He tugged gently at the hair on the nape of my neck opening my throat to him. His lips trailed down my neck stopping to suck lightly at just the right spots causing my breath to quicken and my heart to nearly stop.

This kiss was entirely different than any kiss I'd had before. Travis had been the only guy I had ever really kissed and even when thing got heated between Travis and I, it had never been like this, never felt like this; overwhelming with passion and recklessness, yet still so careful and gentle. I felt safe, somehow. I'd never felt more safe in anyone's arms than I did in Wesly's right now. I'd never let Travis get this far because it never felt right. It felt wrong. I felt pressured to go further and scared of his reaction if I tried to impede. Travis hated it when I told him to stop and often got fiercely angry, slamming things around, when he didn't get his way. Sometimes I feared it was only a matter of time before he started slamming me around, but he has never laid a hand on me.

With Wesly, this kiss was entirely different. I didn't feel pressured at all, and in fact I didn't want him to stop. My whole body was alive with things I had never felt before and I longed for more. His lips traced my collar bone causing my whole body to shake in his arms. I ran my fingernails through his wet hair pulling him in closer. He kissed back up my neck and his lips finally meeting mine again. I kissed him back fervently. I was completely and totally lost in his kiss. There was no longer a battle going on in my head, in fact I couldn't think clearly or rationally right now if I tried. I felt dizzy with excitement. My heart pounded in my ears so loudly I couldn't hear anything else around us. The only thing that mattered in my world right now was his kiss.

Wesly's fingers slid up my back began to tug lightly at the strings to my bikini top and I froze. I was abruptly shocked back into reality and the anxiety inside me was so overwhelming I began trembling. Something in my mind was screaming at me to stop, that I was letting this go too far, but I couldn't make myself stop, nor could I convince myself I wanted to. All reasoning as to why I shouldn't let this continue now escaped me and I was aching to feel him closer to me in a way no one had ever been before. Yes, I wanted this. And not just with anyone. I want Wesly more than anything I've ever wanted anyone before. Just then he pulled away abruptly leaning back on his knees in the water. He stared at me with a torture in his eyes that I couldn't understand. It happened so fast at first my mind couldn't register what went wrong. Why did he stop? Had I done something wrong?

"Wesly?" I asked, my words hardly a whisper as I looked at him in confusion trying to hide the hurt in my eyes.

He lifted his hands from his side, dripping with water, and rubbed them roughly down his face in frustration.

"Oh God, Ellie…" he groaned, shaking his head in his hands.

"Wesley, what…?" I couldn't find my voice. With every second that was passing I was becoming more and more insecure. Part of me thought I knew why he stopped. But the female in me of course thought it had to do with he didn't want me.

"I'm sorry, Ellie, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…" He said looking ashamed. I sat up suddenly feeling very exposed and extremely self conscious in my bikini. I wrapped my arms around my torso to hide myself.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked, afraid to look into his eyes.

"No, Ellie," he said reaching for my arms. "Please don't do that, it's not you. It's just that…" he trailed off trying to find the right words to say. "I'm sorry." He said again, sighing heavily. "I shouldn't have, I wasn't trying to, I mean, I didn't mean to…to push things that far." Then I understood. He was stopping before we went too far, further than I had wanted to go, or so I had told him. I bit the inside of my lip and looked down into the water feeling embarrassed. It was my rule and he was the one honoring it while I was ready to throw it to the wind. And I certainly wasn't making this easy for him. Travis would have jumped at such an opportunity.

I found the courage to look back to him again, ashamed of myself for putting him in such a position and I held his eyes for a moment, appreciating what he had just done for me, for us, and most of all for respecting me. He looked at me with a hint of agony in his eyes and I realized I couldn't even imagine how hard that must have been for him. I couldn't find the words to express my gratitude to him, to thank him for regarding me in such a way. I leaned towards him and rested my hand against his cheek and his worried expression eased a little. Could he really have thought he somehow ruined things between us? If only I could tell him how not offended I was by his actions. That if anything I was sad he stopped. No, I couldn't let myself think like that. He did the right thing, for both of us. He leaned down to me, taking my hand in his.

"I'm sorry Ellie, I won't do that again." He said sincerely lifting my hand to his lips and kissing it sweetly.

"No Wesly, there's no need to be sorry, its ok." I assured him.

"No, it's not okay, Ellie. You told me how you felt about that, and I admire that about you. I just wasn't thinking. I got carried away. It's no excuse, I know. I'm sorry." He dropped our hands to the water and looked down, shaking his head at himself.

He really meant it, he really was sorry. It wasn't one of those lame apologies that Travis always tried to give me full of irritably and insincerity. Yet, here I was not sorry at all that he had taken that far. In fact, I was almost disappoint he hadn't taken it farther. Good thing he stopped because I sure didn't have the strength. Travis had never respected my wishes. It seemed odd to me now, how I never felt that desire for more with him. Once things started moving past a kiss on the lips it was like a million alarms going off in my head to stop and run. And Wesly, even though I had all but forgotten my rule and yet he was going to respect me no matter how hard it was for him, or me.

"Thank you." I said sincerely.

My skin tingled where the warmth of his body still lingered on me and I wanted to feel that again more than anything. He stared at me intently for a long moment as though he wanted the same thing then sighed heavily.

"Come on," he said taking my hand again, "you're freezing." I looked at him confused cause my whole body was still on fire and I was quite comfortable. "You're shaking." He pointed out and it was then I realized I as still trembling. "Oh, right." I agreed. He helped me to my feet and we walked out of the water hand in hand as the sun set on the horizon behind us. We stopped on the beach and picked up our things. I wrapped my towel tight around me blocking out the quickly approaching cool night. Already a small breeze had picked up and a chill hung in the air. I shivered as a chill ran through me. Wesly started towards me with his arms outstretched as though to embrace me then stopped, hesitated, then dropped his hand back to his side and my stomach knotted when I realized what he was doing. He must be frightened to ever touch me again. If only he knew how badly I wanted him to wrap me in his arms again. The friendship line had already been crossed and definitely didn't even exist between us anymore. I couldn't deny it, nor did I want to anymore. How long would he?

"Good night for a fire." He said.

"Yeah, I suppose."

Again he looked like he was fighting with himself over something.

"Would it be alright if I walked you back?" he asked tentatively.

"Sure, I'd like that."

We walked silently up the short path to the cabin. Every step we took, every time his arm would graze mine, or my hand would brush his felt like the perfect moment to kiss him again. I was looking for any reason, any opportunity to be near him again. But I refrained. He was trying to be strong, so would I. If only he knew how badly I wanted him now.

I set my bag inside the sliding door of the sun room then turned to face Wesly. The sight of him made my breath catch in my throat again. He was still dripping wet, his towel slung about his neck instead of wrapped around him as though the chilly evening air didn't faze him. Droplets of water trickled down his perfectly toned torso. As if that wasn't distracting enough his tan skin glowed in the dim sunlight that shone behind him. I felt something inside me go weak again and I had to think real hard just to keep standing upright. He stepped closer reaching his hand to my face and ran his fingers through my damp hair before bringing his hand to rest against my neck. I loved how his hand fit perfectly there. His thumb slowly massaged the hollow below my ear. That was entirely too distracting for my own good.

"So what do you think?"

"About what?" I couldn't think straight, let alone remember what in the world he could be talking about.

"About having a fire tonight." He nodded his head towards the fire pit in the middle of the deck. "We could hang out, roast marshmallows."

"Oh, um, sure." I replied hardly aware of what I was agreeing to. Did it matter? Any chance to see him again was an opportunity I was going to jump at. My whole body was alive with a fire he lit within me and I was already helplessly addicted to the thrill. I didn't want him to leave now, even for just a little while, but I knew he had to. I couldn't very well have him here while I showered. That would be more temptation than I think either of us could handle right now. Still, with his warm hand wrapped around my neck and those deep blue eye drawing me in I couldn't bring myself to pull away. He leaned in slowly, kissing me gently on the forehead. My thoughts went all foggy again and I forgot why it was so important that I pull away. He undoubtedly was over the friendship line as well. Good.

"I'll bring the marshmallows." He whispered into my ear sending a new rush of chills down my body.

"Marshmallows? For what?" I said confused.

He laughed as though he knew all along I hadn't been paying attention to what he was saying. "To roast over the fire."

"Oh, right." Of course, stupid. I scolded myself. Then that reminded me. "Um…there's just one problem." I admitted.

Wesley raised his eyebrow at me in question.

"I've never actually built a fire before." I confessed. "I don't even know if we have wood."

He smiled at me flashing his perfect, white teeth and pointed to the far end of the deck where a pile of wood was neatly stacked beneath the awning. I laughed at myself, embarrassed.

"I'll be back in an hour. And don't worry about the fire. I'll take care of it." He winked.

He squeezed my hand gently then turned to walk away. Already I missed him and he hadn't even stepped off the deck yet. What was the matter with me? Had I not come here to get away from the agony "love" had caused me, and here I was falling head over heels for a guy I'd hardly known a month. I stood in the doorway and watched him disappear down the beach. When he was no longer in sight I sighed and turned to go inside. I hurried through the bedroom into the bathroom. I pulled at the string of my bikini top and flashed back to the feel of his hand doing the same on the beach. I threw the wet swim suit into the tub. I stared at my goofy expression in the mirror and shook my head at myself.

"Silly girl." I said to myself. I turned on the water and waited for it to warm up. As soon as the steam began to rise above the shower I stepped in under the hot water. Gosh, this felt good. The hot water relaxed my muscles like a massage. Then I could feel the memory of his hand massaging deep in my shoulders as he'd done the night before. I splashed water in my face slapping myself as I did.

"Get a hold of yourself, Ellie!" I chastised myself.

After lathering myself up with soap, twice, and rinsing thoroughly, I stood under the hot water and let it trickle down my body to the shower floor while I thought. Could I really be falling for another guy so fast after Travis? Was that even permissible to trust someone after all Travis had done? Travis hurt me, but then again, I had almost expected it. Was I more hurt at what he did, or disappointed that I wasted so many years of my life with him? I was leaning towards the later. Wesly was different from Travis, in every way possible. Although I didn't know much about Wesly I felt I could be certain he would never hurt me the way Travis did. Or was I just being naive? Could I trust myself to trust anyone ever again? I couldn't deny that my feelings for Wesly were drastically different and a hundred times stronger, even in the short time I'd known him, than the feelings I had for Travis in the four years we dated. And time with Wesly never felt wasted, but cherished. What I had with Wesly was so much more than what I had with Travis. I've never felt with anyone the way Wesly made me feel.

Then suddenly it hit me. No. No, there was no way. I laughed out loud at myself at the absurd notion that I was in love with Wesly. Fond of, yes. Attracted to, absolutely. But in love? I couldn't be in love. That was ridiculous. I hardly knew him. No one fell in love that fast, not true love anyway. I thought back to his smile, his deep blue eyes and the way they made me feel weak. How gentle and kind he was, even to people he didn't even know. How he respected everyone he met, how he respected me. How he honored my wish to not push things too far. He was a gentleman, and honest man, a kind man, hard working man. I thought back to the first day we met on the dock. How he helped me, and how careful and tender he was, not even expecting anything in return. Yes, there was no denying it. I was undoubtedly falling in love with him.

"Oh boy." I said to myself.

I turned the water off and stood there in the shower running the thought over and over in my mind. Could I really be? And if I was, no, wait, there was no ifs about this. I knew I loved him, something deep inside me was screaming it, something inside me I never felt before had awakened and I knew it with every ounce of my being I loved Wesly. What did that mean? Surely he couldn't feel the same. It was too soon. Love couldn't happen this fast. All I had to compare it to was what I had with Travis. And this was so much more than what I had with Travis. It was night and day in comparison. So much in fact I was beginning to question if I was ever really in love with Travis at all. Yes, I cared for him. I had to have to have been with him so long. But now having seen, experienced something so different, so selfless, and pure, I knew that what I had with Travis was never anything close. It was never love, nor reciprocated love, and it could never be.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around me and checked the clock. Had I really been in the shower that long? I wrapped another towel around my hair and walked to the closet. I dropped my towel and reached for my favorite scented lotion rubbing myself from head to toe in it. I pulled on a matching pale pink panty and bra set. I turned to check myself in the mirror and froze when I saw something other than my own reflection. I whirled around and sure enough he stood there before me. A scream ripped from my throat before I could stop it and I clapped my hand over my mouth to hush myself. What was he doing here, in Mackinaw, in my parents' cabin, in my bathroom, while I showered? And how long had he been standing there?

Wesly:

I practically ran down the beach. In five minutes I covered the mile to my cottage and raced up the stairs into the back door. I stopped by the laundry room dropping my wet trunks and towel into the washer then headed to the bathroom for a shower. I turned the water as hot as it would go and stood under the stream and let it burned into my skin.

What a fool I had been. How could I let myself lose control like that? Idiot! Ellie deserved better than that. I only intended to give her a quick kiss; to test the line of our friendship boundary. To see if, in fact, it was as lost to her as it had been to me for weeks. All day those lips had been drawing me in. When she would smile, or laugh I was mesmerized. It was all I could think about. I had to be closer to her. I couldn't resist her any longer. I was willing to take the chance that she felt the same. In one simple kiss I would know if she reciprocated those feelings. One kiss wouldn't hurt anything, right? When my lips first melted into hers and she didn't pull away I became lost to my senses. Before I knew it was totally wrapped up in the moment, unable to make any rational thoughts, drowning in the thrill of the adrenaline that pulsed through me with such force I could have ran a hundred miles. Instead I poured it all into that kiss; that alluring, godforsaken kiss. I could still feel her lips on mine, and hear her heavy breathing in my ear. And oh god, her moan! I swear that about undid me. How I was able to come back to any reality at all was beyond me.

Before I knew what I was doing I was pulling at her top aching to feel every inch of her skin against my own. She froze and immediately tensed in my arms, catapulting me back into reality. How could I have been so foolish? I took advantage of her, and that was something I swore from day one I wouldn't do. I wouldn't be anything like that prick boyfriend of hers. I respected her. At the very least she deserved that and I all but betrayed her trust. I was terrified I would lose her. The fear overwhelmed me. We'd only just had our first kiss and I had ruined it. If only I could have earnestly expressed to her how sorry I was for being so stupid; that I truly didn't mean to take advantage of her. But how many times had she heard that before? I was no better than that dirt bag Travis. But she didn't seem frightened away. And most importantly she had agreed to let me come back tonight, so that had to count for something, right?

God, I could still feel her on my skin and it burned hotter than the water. I turned the water to ice cold and stood there letting it rush over me until I was shivering. I wouldn't lose control again. From here on out I would treat her with the utmost respect. That is, if she would even still have me. Panic raised inside me at the thought that maybe she wouldn't want to see me again. What if I had so upset her that she couldn't bear to be near me again, to trust me again? I more than deserved that. God I hoped she could forgive me. I needed her. Something changed in me the day I met her and I haven't been the same since. Nor do I ever want to be. I'd beg if I had to. She had to be part of my life. I couldn't lose her over my foolishness. I'll be the perfect gentleman from here on out. Let her be the one to make the first move. I wouldn't touch her again until she said the words. Even if I had to wait until we were married. That thought stopped me dead in my mental tracks. Where did that thought come from? Married? Is that what I wanted with Ellie? No, it was too soon to even be thinking marriage. But as hard as I tried to push that word from my mind I couldn't imagine a life without her now. I couldn't envision a different life for us. Any future for me now that didn't include her made no sense. I was certain of it. Yes, time had been so short. But I never felt the same before, not even with Kristen. Marriage had never even been a thought in my mind in our relationship, though I was much younger then. Even so, we had dated for three years, so that had to count for something, right? No, I wouldn't think about this now. I couldn't. It was too soon. I didn't even know if Ellie would still have me.

I finished showering and headed to the bedroom throwing on a pair of dark jeans and a long sleeve navy shirt. It would be cool tonight and I considered grabbing a jacket, but decided against it. We would be by the fire and I wouldn't need it. I headed for the kitchen then a thought stopped mid step as I passed the closet. Would she? What if Ellie got cold, even by the fire. Of course, I would be there; I could wrap her in my arms to warm her. No, no. I wouldn't even think it. I would respect her even in my thoughts. I grabbed the jacket and an extra blanket from the closet just as an extra precaution.

I looked at my watch. It had only been thirty minutes but I couldn't stand waiting any longer. I had to be near her. Being away from her almost made me feel anxious. If I forced myself to walk slowly that would give her almost forty-five minutes to get ready. That was enough, right? And I still needed to build the fire. I could do that without even letting her know I was there and she could finish readying herself without feeling rushed. I decided to head on. I couldn't wait around any longer. I grabbed the marshmallows from the pantry and headed out the door feeling hopeful, praying she would forgive me.

I walked down the beach at a normal a pace as I could manage. My newfound revelation had me practically floating. I was elated, yet also terrified. Would Ellie reciprocate the feelings I had for her? Would she even want to after just coming out of such a long relationship that ended badly? She never told me exactly about what happened between her and Travis that ended their relationship. But I got the feeling it was somehow a bad breakup and no doubt she was still dealing with the broken pieces of that relationship. Was it too soon to ask her to commit to something more with me? Was it wrong of me to expect that? I didn't know. All I knew is I couldn't ignore how I felt about her. I wouldn't know how she felt until I was able to talk with her. If she couldn't find it in her to love me now, but maybe in the future, I'd wait. If she gave me any inclination that there was hope for a relationship, something more than a friendship between us, I would wait until the day I died. But what if all she wanted was a friendship? Could I still stay and be there for her? The answer was obvious. I loved her. Even if she didn't reciprocate my love I was too far gone over her to walk away now.

I climbed the stairs to her cabin, a new rush of adrenaline pumping through me now. I checked my watch. It had been exactly forty minutes. I figured I could go ahead and start trying to build the fire while I waited. But I was desperate to see her again. I decided I would just say a quick hello to let her know I was here, and then I would come back out to start the fire.

I approached the back sliding glass door and noticed she had left it open. Was she expecting me or was it purely accidental? I stepped into the sun room and paused seeing if I could hear anything. The last thing I wanted to do freak her out by wandering around her house uninvited. I stepped into the kitchen knocking on the door frame as I entered.

"Ellie?" I called out. No answer. I heard her voice on the far side of the house and took a few steps further into the kitchen.

"Ellie?" I called out again. Still no answer. I followed the sound of her voice to the bottom of the stairs. Her voice was raised and she sounded strained. Was she on the phone? No, there was another voice. A man's voice. Then I heard her scream.