I have small pictures of you in my head, keep updating it each time I think of you. How your hair shines like an angel with a halo, how your smile makes me want to sigh and thank the Lord each day for bringing you in my life.
You fill my days of memories that I never thought I would have, all filled with love and care, warmth and sincerity that I never thought I deserve. You make me believe in myself each day, getting out the old me in my system, taking out all the insecurities, all the old hurt and pain, covering the old scars, keeping away all the nightmares that plague my soul. I'm a brand new person now because of you.
Why do people think that you need to be attached to someone to be happy? I am happy with just you in my life, you are not mine, and I know can never be mine, in the same way I want us to be, but you are there, no matter what you are in my life, despite of all overwhelming emotions that I try to let you feel and see, you stayed, you stayed even if you knew it would be a risk to you if things got out of hand. And I admired you more for that, because it made me realized, that being with you is not really the answer to true happiness, but with you is, there is a difference with being with you and with you, you might not think of me romantically but I do know you love me in the same level as my love for you. You love me just as much but your way, and although we are not "together" as one, we are still one, in a different level, you love me too, in a different level, and that is fine with me. That makes me happy, so happy.
Why you might ask, why would I shower you with everything that deserves to be given to someone else? Like a lover or a partner? Well, you deserve them and more, you have given me everything no one has even dared to give half of what you've shown me, make me feel, you had been there in my lowest low, in my weakest weak and my loneliest time. You've shown me you are worth all my love and more, you don't need to be mine to deserve it. Because it is yours, you deserve all the love I can muster.
You've given me something no has not even dared to give in one lifetime, you listened to me when even words fail to most of ramblings and writings.
I love each and everything about you, you really are special, someone so amazing and wonderful, I really couldn't believe that you think of me sometimes, that I meant something to you somehow. Thank you for everything, this is my way of showing you how much happy you made me, with all of my snippets of you.
