Harry Potter: Complete Spoof!!!!! I don't own Harry potter. J.k. rowling and Warner Brothers do.

This fanfic starts of at 4th year. I'm adding some characters which I just made up. Pairings- h and hr, r and o.c. Harry is staying with the weasleys by the way. This is based on the movie.

Harry woke up early that morning. Today was the day when he would be returning to Hogwarts for his 4th year. Ron was at the other side of the room, still sleeping. He was even drooling. Harry walked over to his side of the room and shook him to wake up. Ron stirred a little but did not stand up. Harry walked back to his bed. He grabbed a pillow then started hitting Ron.

"Alright! Alright! I'm up!!!" Ron stood up scratching his head.

They both got dressed and walked downstairs. Ginny, as usual, was staring at Harry while he was eating. Harry was irritated by this everyday. It was so annoying to have her watching his every move. Finally he spoke up. "Is there something on my face?"

Ginny sighed dreamily then answered. "No......."

With that Harry and Ron stood up. "Harry and I are going to make sure are things our ready." Ron announced.

"I'll go with you!" Ginny said quickly.

"NO!" They answered just as fast. They went upstairs, sat down on there beds, then talked.

"It'll be great to see Hermione again, don't you think?" Harry said with a twinkle in his eye. Ron knew that Harry had feelings for Hermione. Harry started having these feeling since last year. He wasn't surprised that the 1st thing that would come to his mind was Hermione.

"I know. I can't wait! And best of all we'll have lots of opportunities to get away from Ginny!" They both laughed to that.

Suddenly, Ron's mom called for them. "Boys! It's time to go!!" They picked up there luggage and went downstairs.

They were now sitting in the Hogwarts express. Harry and Ron have been chatting and laughing (and of course, when Ron's around there's always eating!). Suddenly there was a knock on there booth.

"You can't sit here Ginny!" Ron immediately said.

"Ron, you dumb arse! This is Hermione! You know, Hermione Jane Granger-" The door opened really quickly. She was standing just a few inches from Harry. "May I....sit with you?"

"Sure." HE GOT OUT OF HER WAY AND LET HER ENTER. SHE sat NEXT TO Harry then all 3 of greeted each other and talked about there summer.

Ginny appeared by the corridor with a huge grin. She was starting to speak. "May I sit-"

Ron stood up so fast it was even faster than light! He started shooing Ginny away. "NO, no, no, no........." Ron came back and sat down again wearing a satisfied grin. Harry, too, was wearing a satisfied grin.

Hermione, however, looked at them with disgust. "Ron, don't you think that's rude? I mean, she is after all your sister."

Both boys replied in union. "No!"

"She has a seat. She just went here because Harry was here too. She and her friends are probably even giggling like crazy at this moment and talking about Harry while fantasizing about snogging him while he was wearing only his underwear!" Ron explained.

Hermione then looked disgusted, yet again. "THAT'S SICK......."

"I KNOW. Can you imagine it?" Ron said while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "You know you want to......."

Harry was face was so red. He was really embarrassed about what his friend just suggested. Then again, he had the same ideas about Hermione. Yes.....I would be snogging her while she would only be wearing those silky, red underwear.......then.......

He was cut of by laughter. Laughter coming from his best friends. "What's so funny?" He was starting to look really nervous. The laughter died down a little.

"Is there a frog in your pants?" Ron asked just before he and Hermione started laughing again.

Harry looked confused. He looked down to check about what they were talking about. He then realized what was happening. "Oh, crap!"

Hermione then grabbed something out of Harry's bag. "Here. You're gonna need this." Then she started laughing again.

He looked at the object in his hand. It was his invisibility cloke. "Go on! Put it on." Ron said while trying to stop his laughter. When he did Ron asked the question he was hoping he wouldn't hear. "What were you thinking?"

Both of them were looking at him questionably, waiting for an answer, with a raised eyebrow. Harry was speechless. What am I going to tell them?!! That 'Oh, just thinking about Hermione in her underwear while she was snogging me like crazy.' That's not right! And it's sick! He did not know what to do.

But then he was saved for the trio heard a disturbance to their conversation. They had heard a man running and yelling. "James Potter, you get back here!!!!!!"

That name made them curios. Did he say 'Potter'? The trio immediately went out side. Ron was the 1st one out. He was surprised by the girl running straight into him. 'Though, I was toppled over by an angel!'

Her face was just a few inches off his face. The moment had stopped by both Harry and the young man chasing her as they both said her name in union. "James!!!!"

With that, she stood up. She then spotted Harry. Harry was grinning at her. She grinned back at him. Then she ran toward him and gave her a huge hug. He returned her hug. "My God! Harry, you've really grown up!"

"You too! But, what are you doing here?" Harry replied with much eagerness to know the answer.

She rolled her eyes at him "Well, duh! I'm going to Hogwarts."

Then he looked at 21 year old man. "And you're here 'cause.....?"

He got a sly smirk on his face. "Knowing James, she would get expelled on the first day of school. She causes too much trouble! Someone needs to stop her havoc!"

James laughed and punched her brother's arm playfully. "He's here 'because he got a job as the new DADA teacher." Ron was still lying on the floor in a daze. James then noticed him and helped him stand up. "Oh God! I'm so sorry! Are you hurt?" He was still staring at her not saying a word. "Hello?" She turned back to Harry. "Is he going to be ok?" HE didn't answer. Instead, he started laughing.

Hermione looked at the fiasco. Everything seemed so confusing. What on earth is going on?!