Belgian visit 2018

Introduction

Today is October 10, 2018. A few days ago I got back from visiting Elisa in Belgium. It was the fourth time I visited and our seventh visit overall. I recently found out she wrote down her memories from her last visit to America and I'm going to attempt to do the same here. This visit took place between September 29 and October 7. It's possible and even likely that I'll misplace a memory or get a couple days mixed up, but I'm going to try and be as accurate as possible. This was one of the best weeks of my life and I'm going to try my best to remember all of it.

September 29 - Saturday

It's always strange seeing Elisa in person for the first time. I'm so used to talking with her over skype that when I see the real thing it takes my eyes a few moments to adjust. I know that's not the most romantic thing to say about seeing a lover for the first time in eight months, but my immediate next thought was how pretty she is. The strangeness of seeing her in real life fades away quickly, but the attraction I have for her is strong and constant.

We took two trains straight from the airport to the shore. She got a little bit confused in between switching trains, but I was drunk with love and excitement so I didn't care. My flight was nearly 8 hours. I can handle 5 minutes of cute and nervous laughter. We got on the second train and she played Pokémon mystery dungeon while I rested my head on her shoulder. Honestly, I could barely keep my hands off of her. Eight months is a long time.

We got to Ostend and apparently it smelled like salt, but I couldn't really tell. I was once again reminded that the cobblestone sidewalks in Belgium are absolutely not made for suitcases, but our hotel wasn't too far away from the train station. Elisa picked it for that very reason. We were on a mission. We got to the hotel without incident and the second we got to our room our clothes came off and we had sex. We laid around in bed naked/half naked and cuddled and talked and laughed. We laugh a lot. It's never dull when we're together. I'm always so happy and free when I'm with her. We had sex again a couple hours later. Then we put on our clothes and walked down the street to the shore. It was cold and windy and I thought it was perfect. We walked down the wide sidewalk and held hands while waiting for a restaurant to open. When it did, we went in. She had muscles and fries and I had shrimp and fries. It was delicious. They didn't give us mayonnaise for our fries. I think I was able to forgive them, but only because I was happy and in love. There was also an old sickly looking fat guy sitting next to us and Elisa told me to never become like him. She sort of judges fat people in a joking but not really kind of way. I agree with her, but I can't say it out loud around anyone else. We're kind of judgey people together. I love it. I love her. The meal was perfect and beautiful despite the lack of mayonnaise. We walked back to our hotel and looked for a bad horror movie to watch. We noticed that our bed had little curtains on top and Elisa tied the ends of the curtains to the bed posts at the foot of the bed and wrapped her phone charger around one end and a hairband around the other. She made a little tent over the bed. It was awesome. We eventually decided on Unfriended 2. I downloaded it and we watched it in the tent. It was sort of okay but mostly shit which was also perfect. Then we had sex for the third time that day. Mission accomplished. We did it in the tent. I was amazed it didn't get knocked down. We cuddled for a while, talked and laughed some more, declared our love and happiness probably a thousand times, and then fell asleep.

September 30 - Sunday

We woke up and laid around in bed for a bit just relaxing. Eventually that lead to morning sex which became a semi-regular thing on this trip. More-so than usual. I enjoyed it quite a lot. We showered and went downstairs to eat breakfast in the hotel. They had fresh baked bread, croissants, chocolate croissants, small apple pastries, muffins, donuts, fresh fruit, cold cuts, bacon, and even more food than I can't remember. I was amazed, but Elisa said this was standard affair for a Belgian hotel breakfast and rated it a 7/10. It was the best hotel breakfast I ever had by a mile.

We went to the shore, but this time we went onto the beach. It was cold so we were both wearing sweaters and jackets. We went right up to the water's edge and I was kind of worried that I would get water in my shoes, but I never did. We just held hands and walked along the beach. We stopped to watch some seagulls mess around with some seaweed and small crabs, but eventually moved on because other people came by trying to take selfies with the birds and they flew away. We watched another group of seagulls do a bunch of seagull things, but again people came by taking pictures and a little kid even kicked a ball at them. Elisa was wearing healed boots and they kept sinking into the sand if she stood still for too long. She also got a bunch of salt on the toes, but she didn't care.

We walked into the city so Elisa could buy a Fire Emblem game for her 3DS, and despite my half-hearted protests we stopped by McDonalds for lunch. Truthfully I wanted a quick and easy lunch, but it's the principal of being an American abroad and eating at McDonalds that gets to me. But it's not like I could have been in a bad mood if I tried. I was together with the love of my life and I was over the moon just to be spending this day with her let alone a whole week. We made it to the game store and she looked through just about every game in the store. It was a lot of fun seeing her excited. Like a kid in a candy store. She got the Fire Emblem game and on the way out we saw a box of banana twinkies for sale and thought it was funny. We didn't even entertain the idea of buying them. We made it back to the hotel around 2:30 and both agreed that we were done going out for the day. I love that so much about her. She doesn't like to be out and about all day long doing things. She likes spending lots of time inside relaxing. I think she's absolutely perfect for me. When she said she wanted to stay in the hotel for the rest of the day I almost cried I was so happy. I'm so lucky and so in love.

We watched about three episodes of Queer Eye on Netflix and I could have watched more, but I was hungry. Elisa tried to find a store open on Sunday and it took a while, but eventually she found one. Unfortunately it closed in like 30 minutes so we had to leave quickly and walk fast. We were right on time and made it with 10 minutes to spare. I bought a salad that came with a fork, Elisa got cherry tomatoes and we also bought candy and soda to snack on while watching a movie later that night. Elisa got silently pissed whenever somebody walked near her in the store. It was super cute and funny. She gives the most blood curdling death stares.

Back at the hotel we watched some dark web horror movie that had nothing to do about the dark web. Some girl got catfished and all her friends and family died and then she died or some nonsense like that. It was bad and all the characters were ugly. The snacks were good though. Elisa was super hyped about the cherry tomatoes so I tried one and it was really gross. I trusted her judgement and got burned. It was actually kind of hilarious though. We had sex again and cuddled and fell asleep. I was basically on the moon the whole weekend. I was so happy. I think it was the best weekend of my life. I love Elisa so much.

October 1 - Monday

In the morning we had the amazing hotel breakfast again. Then we checked out and went to the train station. The weather had been perfect all weekend, but today it was raining so it felt like the perfect day to leave. Perfect, perfect, perfect. I've been using that word a lot, but that's how everything feels when I'm with Elisa. When we arrived in her hometown it had mostly stopped raining, but it was colder than the last couple days. I had stubbornly packed my jacket in my suitcase and was only wearing a sweater so I was pretty cold. Elisa was wearing a long winter coat and teased me a bit. I'm still not great at knowing what kinds of clothes to wear over there.

We took the bus back to her place and the old town hall and the police station next to her house were completely destroyed. There was just a big dirt pit and a bunch of rubble. Immediately when I saw her house I was happy. I only have good memories there. Illias was home, but I don't think Stelios was yet. This is where my memories will become the most unreliable. We spent the rest of the trip at her house and a lot of those days and moments kind of blur together. I know we ended up playing Mario Party 5 with Stelios for a bit, and then Elisa's mom came home. She did the half hug cheek kiss thing which I still find weird, but apparently all Belgians do it so I'm going to have to get used to it. Her mom is very kind to me, and I don't know what I would do if she was any different. She likes me very much and supports Elisa and I's relationship and it means the world to me. I'm going to say that word again, but I think she's the perfect girlfriend mom (even if she is too critical of Elisa sometimes).

Her mom cooked us dinner and I remember it was good. I don't remember what it was, but I appreciate the fact that she cooked for us even after a long day at work where she was shorthanded. After dinner we went to some fair thing in the parking lot of her hometown and got 20 fried dough balls to split with her brothers. The gypsy running the food stand was kind of rude. Elisa said that when she was younger it was one of her fantasies to take her boyfriend to the fair. She's a treasure. Een schatje. Being told you make somebody happy feels really good. I'll never get over the fact that she feels about me the same way I feel about her. I never want to stop being in love with her. When we got back to her house me and her brothers ate five dough balls each. They were very hot and lekker. After four I was feeling full and had to power through to eat the fifth. Elisa said she could have eaten six.

Afterwards we all played Shrek 2 on her gamecube. It's a really not popular game at all, but her family loves it. Maybe because it's multi-player and fairly simple. Either way it was actually a lot of fun for a while. Afterwards Elisa and I got in our jammies and watched some trash on Netflix while cuddling and eating the candy we still had left from the day before. I love when we cuddle. When she rests her head on my chest it gives me indescribable feelings. It feels like home and warmth and the most right thing there ever was. I never knew how empty my chest was until her head was nestled on top and now I can't ever go back. I need her and I need her in my arms and nothing else. Eventually we went upstairs and had sex and cuddled and fell asleep and I never wanted any of it to end.

October 2 - Tuesday

I was woken up by the most earsplitting noise I've ever heard. We fell asleep at 2 and at 7AM they were breaking up rubble in the pit next door to Elisa's house. I think they were also pulling thick metal wires out of the ground. It was the first time something not-perfect happened on the trip. It was miserable and lasted several hours. I tried putting a pillow over my head, but I was still going crazy. Elisa wasn't thrilled either. This was the first night we spent at her house and I was worried that this was going to happen every morning. Luckily it didn't, but at the time I didn't know. Eventually the noise stopped and we had some nice morning sex which ended my grumpy mood quite handily. Then we went downstairs and she made pancakes. Her pancakes are more like crepes, but regardless they're delicious.

Our plan for the day was to go geocaching and collect chestnuts. Elisa went on the geocaching app and found a cache close to the chestnut trees. It was about a 45 minute walk from her house. We got ready, she grabbed a bag and we left. We held hands the entire way. She told me she never imagined that she could enjoy just walking with someone, and I felt the same way. I don't like people or being around them, but with her everything is different. Being around her doesn't make me tired or anxious. It's relaxing and fun and it just feels right. I never imagined this kind of feeling was possible before I met her. I didn't used to believe in fate or one-true-loves, but now I look a very valid argument in the face every day, so I try not to think about it too much anymore. I just want to enjoy what I've got. And I do.

The geocaching location was next to some old cottage under renovation, and after some nonsense and confusion we found the coordinates under a sign which lead us to the cache nearby. Or so we thought. We spent a good 45 minutes looking for a little box in the woods within a 10 meter radius, but just couldn't find it. It was a bit frustrating, but I was a lot more excited for the chestnuts anyways. And besides spending time with Elisa doing anything at all never feels like a waste of time. We made our way to the chestnut trees a few minutes away and started collecting. We broke the spiky shells apart with our feet and apparently we found the biggest chestnuts she had ever seen. They did look quite massive. We spent a good hour and maybe longer walking under chestnut trees and breaking open shells. There was a Chinese family collecting from the trees next to us and it felt a bit unfair since there were so many of them and they took up like four trees just for themselves. Our chestnut tree was bigger though and so were the chestnuts. Apparently some monks planted them hundreds of years ago and the older they get the bigger nuts they drop. The trees were massive and looked ancient. Some middle-aged guy took it upon himself to explain to Elisa how to collect chestnuts by breaking open the shells with your feet. Elisa had to tell him she'd been doing it for years. Afterwards we had a good laugh about his mansplaining. The sun started to go down a little bit so we left. Our bag was full of high quality chestnuts.

Elisa has been telling me for years about how good her chestnut cakes are and I was excited to finally try one that night. We held hands again on our way back. Our feet were sore from walking all day, but we still had a journey ahead of us. Even though it was cold and my feet hurt, I still loved every second of it. I just love being with Elisa, pure and simple. I noticed a furniture store because the sign said "meubels". I was proud of myself for knowing some Dutch. I think I may actually get the hang of it and become maybe half-fluent one day far into the future. When we got home our feet were dead and her mom was tired too so we all went to Quick. I appreciated the quick meal after a long day walking. When we got back home we boiled and peeled the chestnuts and Elisa made a cake batter to put them in. I tried a couple of boiled chestnuts and they were okay, but a bit too dry for my taste. While the cake was baking we watched American Vandal season 2 on Netflix. Who is the turd burglar!? It's a solid show. After an episode the cake was done and we cut it while it was still hot. It was delicious. We both had two pieces. How is my girlfriend smart and sexy and funny and a good baker on top of it? Why am I so lucky? She even told me she likes baking for me. I'm marrying this girl. Sometimes I wonder why she's with me and I don't feel like I deserve her, but I will hold on to her as tightly as I can. She's perfect to me. She doesn't believe that she is, but I think the world of her. I'm so in love with her sometimes it's all I think about. After cake and Netflix we went upstairs and had sex again. I'm getting better at making her orgasm. I can do it almost every time. Afterwards we wrapped our arms around each other and laid there for a while. This day was the perfect day with the perfect person. If I could go back in time and live one day over again it would be this one. I will cherish Elisa and these memories for the rest of my life.

October 3 – Wednesday

The next couple days really get fuzzy. We kept it low-key and just played video games and stuff so I'll naturally have less to write about them. They were by no means boring, but it's hard to go on and on about a day (bookended by great sex) you mostly spent sitting on the couch giggling. I will write down the details I do remember. We slept in fairly late this day and had sex on top of that so we didn't actually get out of bed until past noon. We had some chestnut cake for breakfast and I began downloading Soulcalibur II and Fire Emblem. We had to use a gamecube emulator because for some reason US games don't work on EU consoles. Kind of annoying, but at least my newish laptop is able to run gamecube games without lag now. We took turns playing Soulcalibur II and had a blast for almost two hours. Let's update that list: My girlfriend is smart and sexy and funny and a good baker on top of it and likes playing video games on top of that. I hit the jackpot with Elisa. I'll never stop thinking I'm the luckiest guy in the world. Over the past few years whenever I've had a bad day or the Falcons or Braves lost (like fucking always) I always remind myself I still have Elisa, and it's impossible to get too down. She's a constant bright spot in my life.

Her nieces visited, but only for about an hour so it wasn't too big of a deal. They were pretty well behaved. They left before her mom made dinner. I think her mom made a couple different kinds of meats. I dipped them in mayonnaise and it was delicious. I love going to Belgium and dipping things in mayonnaise. You can't do that in America without people looking at you funny. I think we went to the store after dinner or possibly before and got snacks for the night. I know we got kinder chocolate and it was really tasty. Belgian chocolate is so good it's unfair. Later that night I downloaded The Poughkeepsie Tapes and we watched it with Ilias. Even though I had seen the movie before it was still nice and creepy. Afterwards we watched some trash tv for a bit and then went upstairs to have sex. Sex with Elisa is always amazing. I'm way too embarrassed to go into detail, but her body is perfect and I miss it every day we're apart. I also greatly miss cuddling her at night. Something happens in those moments that I don't fully understand. I really feel like I bond with her every time I wrap my arms around her body at night. We have something special.

October 4 – Thursday

I think this is the one day we didn't immediately have sex after waking up. We made up for it later though. After breakfast Elisa decided to make a spur of the moment banana cake. This girl is the shit. We played Fire Emblem while it was baking which I'd been wanting to play with her for years. It felt good to finally make some progress in it, even if it was started sort of late into my visit. After we finished a level the cake was ready and we ate it while it was fresh and hot. Of course it was delicious and I somehow fell in love with Elisa even more. I don't understand how that even works. As the days go by I just keep loving her more and more.

After the cake and another level on Fire Emblem we made our way upstairs as nobody was home. Afternoon sex is just as wonderful as morning sex. She told me she was ready to go earlier that morning, but I guess I missed a signal? It's hard to tell with her sometimes as she's told me she lives in a state of constant horniness when I'm around. No matter, it was still amazing and we were still good to go later that night as well.

Her mom cooked us dinner again, but my hazy memory is keeping me from remembering what it was. I think after dinner we finished watching American Vandal while eating more banana cake and were fairly satisfied with the ending. Later this night the Braves first playoff game was supposed to start at 2:30AM and Elisa agreed to stay up with me so I could watch it. I didn't have to convince her. She had been asking me to stay up late with her every night since I got there and almost every night we've ever been together. She just loves staying up late with me. It's another little thing she does which makes me feel really good about myself. She acts like she can't get enough of me and I don't think it's an act. I think we stayed up late by watching trash TV and eating snacks, but honestly I can't remember. We might've watched a movie too.

What we definitely did do was go upstairs and have sex again. I miss sex. We're good at it and we keep getting better. She's so damn sexy to me and I'm getting side-tracked. Baseball was a big disappointment. I was watching on my computer in bed and Elisa was cuddled up next to me so at least I had that going for me. She called Machado "Match-a-do". She's so damn cute and can make me laugh at anything and I love her and I might be getting side-tracked again. I turned the game off after three innings and we went to sleep. Even though the Braves sucked it was still a perfect day. Every day with Elisa is perfect. That's cheesy and I don't care. I love her.

Oct 5 – Friday

We woke up and had some routinely amazing morning sex and then got out of bed. We spent the morning and most of the afternoon playing Fire Emblem while her birds hung around on the couch. She's extremely passionate about her birds. She always gets very worried that I'll be annoyed by or hate her birds. That couldn't be further from the truth. They don't bother me at all and they make her really happy so by the transitive property they make me happy too.

Her mom came home and needed us to go to the grocery store to get stuff for dinner. It's literally a three minute walk from Elisa's house, but she still complains about it. I'll never understand. It couldn't be closer unless it was in her back yard. When we got there we picked up the stuff for dinner and we also wanted to get more snacks for that night. I saw her walking by the pre-cooked hamburgers with huge eyes, but she didn't say anything. After we picked up some coke she asked again what kind of snacks I wanted. I read her like a book. I told her we could get hamburgers if she wants, and she lit up like she had just won the lottery. Seeing her that genuinely excited about hamburgers was honestly one of the non-sex highlights of the whole trip. I told her we had to stay up late though so our stomachs would have room for the hamburgers and she was even more excited. I think Elisa said the exact quote, "This is why you're my boyfriend". I agree that we are very compatible. And it's times like that when I'm reminded why our relationship is so perfect. It was a fun moment with lots of laughter and smiles the whole way home.

For dinner her mom made mussels and fries. It's Elisa's favorite meal. I think mussels are okay, but it's not something I would pick to eat myself. Fries in Belgium on the other hand are fantastic – even the store bought kind. And finally we had mayonnaise to dip them in. It should be a crime to eat fries in Belgium without mayonnaise. After that wonderful meal her mom cleaned up the kitchen and I went upstairs to get the thank you gift I brought for her. It was for all the hospitality she has shown me over the years and all the great food she's cooked for me. One little gift isn't really enough, but it's something. I got her an American flag kitchen set of pot holders, a dish cloth and an oven mitt absolutely drenched in stars and stripes. She laughed, but appeared to like it. I think she was more touched that I got her a gift in the first place. I'm glad she was happy.

After all of that we decided to watch a found footage horror movie called Hell House LLC. I was in charge of downloading it. Ilias watched it with us, and there were some parts that seemed a bit weird or out of place…almost like it was a sequel to some other movie. Welp, only after we had finished the movie did I find out that I had accidentally downloaded the sequel. I felt kind of terrible. It was a shit movie anyways, but it had clips of the first one in it and that one looked okay. So it's possible I spoiled a decent movie for us if we ever decide to watch it. Fuck me, I guess. After the movie we watched Bar Rescue and ate our hamburgers. I wanted to cook them in the oven, but Elisa said it was kind of too late at night to be using the oven so we microwaved them. I didn't think they were that great especially microwaved, but Elisa ate the whole thing. Her apatite surprises me sometimes. I don't know how she's fit and sexy. Yes I do. She fucking works at it when she's not on vacation with me. Eventually we went upstairs and had great sex for like the 30th time since I got there and cuddled and fell asleep. I love this girl to pieces.

Oct 6 – Saturday

The last day. We didn't really talk about it much. There wasn't much "What are we going to do? How are we going to make it count?" kind of talk. We both knew it was coming, but we didn't dwell on it or put any pressure on ourselves to make it something big. We enjoyed it like it was any other day because with us those are the best days. We don't really do grand gestures of love, expensive gifts or fancy dates. We do sitting on the couch and bad tv shows and cuddles and embarrassing childhood stories and "Is it weird that I do this? Or that I think this way?" and laughter and more cuddles and more laughter and not knowing why your mouth hurts until you realize it's because you've been smiling all day and you've never smiled all day before and a long kiss for no reason other than we like kissing and just looking at her and melting and wanting every second to last forever.

When we woke up she put my arm around her body. I felt her and she leaned into the feeling. She was warm and soft and I took her clothes off and felt her again. It wasn't the last time, but we made it count all the same. I don't remember what we had for breakfast. We cuddled on the couch and played Fire Emblem most of the day, but we still only got maybe 1/3 of the way through the game. Elisa said she'd take notes so we remember all the important characters and plot points when we play again several months from now. I absolutely remember what we had for dinner. Her mom made a traditional Greek dish. I can't remember exactly what it was called, but it was some kind of pasta, meat and feta cheese. It was amazing. Her older brother and nieces were there too. Everyone was eating except for Ilias who's girlfriend broke up with him that day. I felt pretty bad for him. I don't know what I'd do if Elisa ever broke up with me. I don't want to think about it.

After dinner and after everyone left we decided to watch the first Hell House movie. I double and triple checked to make sure I downloaded the right one this time. And after all this nonsense of downloading the wrong movie and spoilers and potentially ruining a great found footage horror movie…it was actually not that great. Almost as weak as the second one. It was actually kind of a relief to me. My mistake ruined nothing of value. After the movie was over it was getting late so I packed my suitcase.

Elisa set her alarm for 6:30AM and we got into bed and cuddled. Whenever we cuddle in bed it always leads to sex and this time was no different. As we were finishing she wrapped her arms around my back and held me tight. I never wanted her to let go. And for a time she didn't.

We laid in bed and kissed and declared our love and did all the things you do when you want tomorrow to never come, but eventually we fell asleep and it came anyways.

October 7 – Sunday

The alarm went off and there wasn't any time for thoughts. As we were getting dressed I grabbed Elisa's butt one last time. God, her ass is magical. I brought my stuff downstairs and her mom dropped us off at the train station. Her mom and I hugged goodbye and before I knew it we were on the train to the airport. I don't remember much. I imagine it's a bit like being on death row. You try to suppress it and imagine anything else is happening. We got to the airport, I checked my bag and then we were standing before the security checkpoint where non-passengers aren't allowed. And I took a breath. And we put our arms around each other one last time. And I looked into her eyes and I wanted to remember this. I put in a lot of effort just trying not to forget. I wanted her face, her smile, the look in her eyes as she tried not to cry; I wanted to remember being in love with her just as I was in that moment. Even when I'm an old man who can't remember what day of the week it is I want to remember looking at her in that airport and knowing what it feels like to be so incredibly in love.

We kissed and hugged and said "I love you" a few more times. Then we said our goodbyes. And then our second goodbyes. I think by the time we said our third goodbyes we actually let go of each other and finally walked away. I missed her immediately. I got on my plane and sent her a message and when we landed I sent her another one. My dad picked me up at the airport and I stayed up a little longer than my body wanted to fight the jet lag. I slept alone and dreamt of the day I would never have to again.

Conclusion

I created this journal on October 10 and today its October 24. After re-reading all the entries I can tell I got a little bit sappier towards the end. I think that's due to the fact that the more time I spend apart from Elisa the more I miss her. As of right now I miss her terribly. It's been three weeks since I left, yet it feels like I haven't seen her in a year. The next time we plan on visiting is in February. I'm already counting down the days. Roughly 115. One day we won't have to deal with this nonsense and we'll be together for good. I can't wait to start a life with her. She's my "one". I found her. I love you, Elisa. Always will.