*A/N- ALRIGHT EVERYBODY! I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS. This is my Brooklyn Nine Nine Au. I'm not writing this all the way through and then posting, I'm writing each chapter then posting, probably not very often, I'm working on other fics. Also I know nothing about Japanese law enforcement this is going to be very westernized, but I thought Edo 99 sounded cool. Also it's not going to be very law enforcement centralized just everybody goofing around and having a good time.
This is going to be mostly a comedy but it will also will deal with darker themes I will update the rating and trigger tags as it becomes necessary because I have no idea where this is going.
"Alright squad, gather round," Tenjin said, standing in the doorway to his office next to a young boy who looked very much like he didn't want to be there. "This is our new intern, Yukine. He's here on court ordered community service."
"Nice," Yato said, leaning back in his desk and kicking his feet up. "What a winner."
"Shut it, scrawny," Yukine snapped.
"So, what're you in for?" Yato asked, grinning.
"Vandalism," Yukine grumbled, crossing his arms defensively.
"Wow, real tough guy, can't wait to break him in." Hiyori snorted.
"If by break him in you mean push him away by showering him in gifts of hand knitted sweaters and hand drawn art?" Hiyori asked
"You said that you liked those!"
"They were beautiful."
"Alright Yukine," Tenjin said, "This is the squad. Kofuku is my secretary, her husband Daikoku is Sargent." The two of them waved. "In the back are Take and Kiun, they're partners."
"Stay away from them they're super weird," Yato said.
"Yato's in love with Hiyori and has been for years," Take said in retaliation.
"Guilty!" Yato said proudly, grinning at Hiyori. She sighed heavily and rolled her eyes. "Everyone already knew that! I am unashamed!"
"You're unbelievable," Take said.
"As you've already heard, this is Yato, his partner is named Hiyori." Yukine looked vaguely alarmed. "Then we have Kazuma and Bishamon."
"Are they normal?"
"Not even close," Yato said. "Bishamon is terrifying, and Kazuma sits up straight. Like, I don't think I've ever seen his back touch the chair."
"And you never will," Kazuma said, looking coolly at Yato. Yato gave him a horrified look. Yukine was looking rather green. He looked pleadingly up at Tenjin.
"Can I just go to Juvie instead?" Tenjin chuckled.
"You'll get used to it here, they're all really good people. You'll like it."
"And you'll probably have a hand knitted sweater by the end of the week, even though it's June," Kiun said.
"Ha! The jokes on you, I finished it already!" Yato said, pulling a gift bag out of his backpack.
"Ha!" Kofuku cried, punching the air. "Pay up everybody!"
"No way!" Bishamon groaned.
"I should have known," Hiyori said, "he's been knitting at his desk since the Captain said we were getting a new intern, he told me it was an afghan, but it was too closely knit!" Yato gave her an adoring look.
"I love that you know that." Yato got to his feet and presented Yukine with the package proudly.
"Thanks…" Yukine said, peering into the bag with trepidation. Kofuku walked around the office collecting cash, obviously having won an office betting pool.
"Don't worry, Yuki," she said. "Yato's sweaters are very soft and warm, we all love them even though Take pretends to hate them."
"Also, Yato, Hiyori, there's been a robbery over on seventy-fifth street, I want you two over there now to check out the crime scene."
"Alright!" Yato said. "I'll just have to feed Mickey!" The entire station groaned and Yukine looked around, confused.
"I don't understand, who is Mickey?"
"The rat that lives in Yato's desk," Bishamon answered.
"The what?"
"He's not a rat, he's a gerbil!"
"If you think he's a gerbil then why did you name him Mickey?" Kazuma asked, looking like they'd had this discussion several times.
"I had an uncle named Mickey!"
"Your dad was an only child and you never knew your mom's family," Hiyori said dryly.
"She could have had a brother named Mickey!"
"Just admit that you know it's a mouse!" Take cried, annoyed.
"He's a gerbil!"
"You named him after Mickey Mouse, Yato!" Daikoku said.
"You even said you wanted to find him a Minnie," Kiun interjected.
"Those are all gerbil names!" Yato protested, sliding open his top left drawer to reveal a small mouse and a habitat that Yato had built for it.
"Why is there a rat living in his desk?"
"It's a gerbil!"
"It's there because Yato left food there, so it moved in, and then he made friends with it, and he cries every time the captain tries to make him get rid of it," Kofuku said. Yukine looked horrified.
"Mickey is my friend!" Yukine looked to Tenjin, who looked like he was seriously regretting the choices that had led him to this point in his life.
"I took it to the vet to be sure it doesn't have any diseases one day while Yato was distracted, we're all perfectly safe," Tenjin said. "It's been vaccinated."
"Mickey is like the station mascot!" Yato said, filling the little water bottle he'd attached to the drawer.
"Why would we want our mascot to be a rat?" Kazuma asked. "Everyone hates rats, they're an infestation."
"He's a gerbil! He is lovable and cute!"
"Ugh," Hiyori said. "I can't have this argument again."
"Again?" Yukine asked.
"Just finish feeding Mickey and let's go." Yato patted his mouse/gerbil on the head before sliding the drawer closed and squirting some hand sanitizer in his palm, one of the conditions of Tenjin allowing Mickey to stay. Yato had to sanitize his hands after every time he played with him.
"So long to everyone, Hiyori and I are going to go solve another crime!" No one acknowledged Yato as he and Hiyori left, though Hiyori made a face at Bishamon, who laughed.
"Man, this case was too easy, a robbery in a video cam store?" Yato whined. "We got the robbers on thirty angles and twice in HD!"
"They only had two HD cameras?" Hiyori asked. Yato nodded morosely.
"It's not even a good camera store."
Hiyori and Yato walked down the street eating corn dogs from a cart that had been right outside the video store. Hiyori has paid, as usual.
"They can't all be episodes of Law and Order, Yato. We'd go nuts."
"You already are nuts," Yato teased. "Eating a corn dog from a street vendor in downtown Edo? You're just asking for food poisoning."
"You're eating one too!" Hiyori protested.
"Yeah, but I have a gut of steel, I could eat garbage, but you? You're definitely laying out of work tomorrow."
"And if I do you'll bring me soup and your Magic Feel Better Milkshake like you always do because you're such a kind stalker and I still don't know how you got my address or a copy of my keys."
"And you never will," Yato said mysteriously, grinning. Hiyori rolled her eyes.
"Whatever, you probably got those recipes on Pinterest." Yato gasped in indignation.
"How dare you! Those recipes have been passed down in my family for generations."
"I thought you disowned your adopted family after your father's arrest."
"I didn't disown their recipes." Hiyori snorted, then choked.
"God, what is that smell." Yato looked grimly at her.
"Hiyori throw away your corn dog, I recognize that smell."
"You've got to be kidding me." Hiyori tossed her corn dog into a nearby trash can and brushed off her hands. "Where is the smell coming from?"
"The breeze is coming from that direction," Yato pointed down a nearby junky alley, phone already in his hand.
"You check the dumpster," Hiyori said.
"No way, I got the dumpster last time."
Hiyori groaned and covered her mouth and nose with her hand. She had to climb the outside of the dumpster to peer over the edge. Yato sidestepped her and walked deeper into the alley, gagging as the smell worsened. He swore quietly when he saw a white sneaker with a smear of red.
"Hiyori…"
"I've got it," Hiyori said, jumping down from the side of the dumpster. "White male about twenty."
"Wait what?" Yato asked, turning away from the shoe briefly to face her. She looked confused at the shock on his face.
"I...found the body, what's wrong?"
Yato looked back at the white sneaker and then down at his feet, stepping carefully around the alley to get a better look. He sighed when he saw the foot was attached to an unmoving body.
"Damn," he said. "I've also got a body." Hiyori groaned, then lifted her phone to her ear. She turned away to make the call while Yato crouched down to get a better look.
"Hello dispatch this is Detective Iki, my partner and I found two bodies in an alley near seventy-fifth street while responding to a call."
What happened here? Yato wondered. One in the dumpster, one on the ground.
"Yato," Hiyori called, "can you tell anything about that one?" Yato shook his head.
"I can't tell, whoever they were, they're facing away from me now, I don't wanna move the body until CSU can get here." Hiyori nodded and turned back to her call.
Yato got to his feet and looked around before noticing the building on his side had a fire escape. He jumped up and grabbed the ladder, pulling it down before climbing up to look over into the dumpster without disturbing the crime scene. Hiyori glanced over at him before replying to something dispatch said. His hand touched something wet and he looked down at it, grimacing when it was red.
"Hiyori," he called, holding up his hand to her. She saw the blood and shook her head, then said something else to dispatch and hung up. "Looks like our crime scene is bigger than we thought," he said.
"Well since you're already up there why don't you tell me what you see?"
"I see dead people," he replied. Hiyori gave him an annoyed look.
"Alright, Alright, I see blood, someone's window, and a trail." The blood led up the fire escape.
"Well don't follow it on your own!" Hiyori said. "The captain has told you before, Yato, no going off on your own!"
"But the blood is still wet!" Yato protested. "What if I find the murderer at the end?"
"What if you get shot? Again?"
"Please, that happened once! The other time it was just debris! I'll be fine! Backup is on its way. You stay down there and be sure no one messes with the crime scene."
"Yato!" Yato ignored her and followed the blood trail, climbing up to the fifth floor, where he found a bloody handprint on the window.
"Hiyori, I think I found another crime scene!"
"Don't go in!" She said.
"Don't worry I won't," he said peering around carefully.
"What do you see?"
"Blood, signs of a struggle, I think I'm looking into the living room."
"Great, you said you wanted something interesting. Here it is."
"Now I feel kinda bad for saying that."
"Alright everybody, settle down while Yato briefs us on the case," Tenjin said, stepping aside to allow Yato to stand at the podium.
"Before he starts I just want to let everyone know that Yato wished for this," Hiyori said, smirking at him.
"I did not!" Yato protested. "I said that I wanted something interesting to happen, not that I wanted to find two dead bodies!"
"So, you don't think that two dead people are interesting?" Take asked.
"I feel like no matter what I say to that I'm going to look like a bad person," Yato said.
"Good call," Yukine interjected.
"Why are you even here?" Yato asked him, noticing the intern for the first time.
"I dunno," Yukine replied. "I just saw people congregating."
"Whatever," Yato said, turning back to the screen showing crime scene photos. "This morning after we went to that super lame robbery and Hiyori ate street food from Downtown Edo-" a chorus of "ew"s took over the briefing room.
"What?" Hiyori asked, looking around indignantly. "Yato ate it too!"
"Yeah but we already know he's disgusting," Bishamon said, "you're supposed to have standards."
"ANYWAY, ten bucks says Hiyori is too sick to come into work tomorrow."
"I've got twenty that says she's has to duck out before the end of the day!" Kofuku replied.
"Can we get back to the briefing please?" Hiyori asked, looking annoyed.
"Alright, fine, so after Hiyori ate super gross corn dogs off the street-"
"You make it sound like they were on the ground!"
"We found two dead bodies in an alleyway next to our store where the super lame robbery took place."
"Are the two crimes being investigated as related?" Kiun asked.
"We're looking into the possibility, but there's nothing that suggests a connection other than the location. While waiting for the CSU to get there I climbed onto the fire escape to look into the dumpster where one of the bodies was found without contaminating the crime scene-"
"And he still accidentally contaminated the crime scene," Hiyori put in.
"Hey! This is my briefing, Hiyori, get your own! I found another crime scene on the fire escape when I climbed up there to get a look in the dumpster. I followed the blood trail until its end and found a window with a bloody handprint on it. Inside there were signs of a struggle. CSU is there right now looking over the place to see what other evidence they can find."
"Evidence you haven't contaminated yet, you mean," Bishamon said.
"I didn't! I just touched the blood a little bit on accident!"
"Gross," Yukine said. "What if you got a disease from it?"
"I didn't get a disease, kid, that only works if the blood gets into an open wound!"
"Are you sure about that?"
"...No. Hiyori will you make me an appointment with your dad?"
"No. You're a grown up do it yourself. Also, stop making appointments with my dad to ask for my hand in marriage, he's a busy man he doesn't have time to waste on you!"
"I'm a paying customer!"
"You've never paid your bill at our hospital and your insurance doesn't cover 'lonely and desperate.'"
"Oh, burn," Bishamon said, leaning forward to high five Hiyori. Yato pouted.
"You guys are so mean."
"Is there anything else about the case that we need to know, Yato?" Tenjin asked, exasperated.
"Nope, just that Hiyori is definitely going to be sick tomorrow and it's karma for being mean to me in briefings."
"Go sit down," Tenjin said, stepping back in front of the podium as Yato plopped into the empty seat next to Hiyori. "Alright team, I want all hands-on deck for this one, a double homicide never looks good on the headlines and Mayor Ameratsu is already on my back to get this one solved quickly."
"Yato? Where's Hiyori?"
"She's home sick with food poisoning today, Captain. I'm heading over during my lunch hour to bring her my Magic Feel Better Smoothie and some soup." Kofuku walked from her desk and dropped twenty dollars on Yato's desk. He grinned at her.
"And you're totally fine, even though you ate the same food?" Yukine asked.
"I have a steel stomach," Yato said. "Hiyori though…" he made a pained face then turned back to his computer.
"Alright, I want you to take Detective Kazuma out and knock on doors in the apartment building and see if any of the other tenants heard anything."
"Alright, door duty!" Yato cried, pumping his fists in the air and spinning around in his chair.
"You are the only person alive who enjoys door duty that much," Bishamon said.
"Aww, come on, you get to meet some of the best people!"
"Some of the weirdest," Daikoku said.
"You guys are just mean!" Kazuma got to his feet and put on his jacket and stood waiting for Yato to finish saying goodbye to Mickey the gerbil slash mouse. He refilled the water container then closed the drawer. "Alright let's go meet the people of Edo!"
"That last lady was scary," Yato said, eyes wide. Kazuma nodded.
"I've never known anyone to scream that openly and fearlessly into the faces of detectives she didn't even know."
"What did the E-P-D ever do to her?"
"I don't know, we should ask Viina when she gets back, I don't speak Spanish."
"I heard the word 'zapatos' which I think means shoes."
"Why would she be yelling at us about shoes?" Kazuma asked. Yato shrugged.
"I don't know, but I'm glad she stopped."
Kazuma reached out and knocked on the door, and Yato screamed when he saw who answered. Kazuma shot him an alarmed look.
"TOMONE?" Yato cried, looking incredulous.
"Yato?" The woman shouted, face going quickly from shock to fury. "What the hell are you doing here? How the hell did you get my address?"
"Why the hell do you live here?" Yato snapped, looking irritable. "Of course, you have to live in the same building as my murder!"
"Your murder? Did you finally kill someone? Living up to your father's reputation?" Yato prepared to make a snappy retort, but Kazuma stepped in in a rare show of temper.
"I don't know who the hell you are, but we're detectives with the Edo Police Department, and we're here to talk about a double homicide that occurred in this building last night."
"Kazuma, meet my ex-girlfriend, Tomone, you never had the displeasure of meeting her before."
"This is that Tomone?"
"Yup. Isn't she lovely?" She glared at Yato then turned a pleasant smile on Kazuma.
"I'm so sorry Officer, I'm not very reasonable when I'm around him," the word dripped venom.
"It's Detective, actually, and you'll have to contain yourself. We have a few questions."
"Of course." She kept her eyes fixed on Kazuma, and Yato looked anywhere but at her while Kazuma asked the questions.
"Were you home around ten o'clock last night?"
"Yes, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend," she said.
"Great, maybe he did it."
"Yato," Kazuma snapped. Yato threw his hands in the air and turned away.
"We were together all night. We were watching an action movie."
"Did you hear anything suspicious? Was there arguing or a lot of loud noises?"
"I didn't hear anything, and if I did I probably assumed it was part of our movie, I'm sorry."
"No, thank you for your time," Kazuma said, backing away. She sent Yato a dirty look before closing the door. He blew a raspberry at the closed door and stalked away, back stiff. Kazuma jogged to catch up to him.
"I can't believe she said that to you," Kazuma said. Yato stopped and turned to him, smiling.
"I can't believe you snapped at a civilian!" Kazuma sighed as Yato threw his arms around his neck.
"Well it was rude," Kazuma said, patting Yato on the head. "You two are on pretty bad terms." Yato nodded.
"Yeah, we started seeing each other a few months after the trial, when Hiiro was away."
"Ohh," Kazuma said, understanding. "How is Hiiro, by the way?"
"Good, her grades are going up, the counselor at that school is really helping her."
"Has she adjusted to boarding school?" Yato nodded.
"She's made some friends there, and she's coming home for the holidays."
"That's great!" Yato grinned.
"I'm excited!" Kazuma smiled at the bright grin Yato was wearing, apparently unaffected by the comment Tomone had made about his father. Kazuma looked around.
"I think that's everyone on this floor, we should go up one more." Yato nodded.
"E-P-D open up!" Yato said. A man covered in blood opened the door.
"Oh my god," Kazuma said, reaching to help him with one hand and for his gun with the other, unsure of how to react with so little information.
"Oh, hey, don't worry, it's corn syrup, I'm planning a prank for my boyfriend, I'm gonna make him think I'm dead."
"Do you want him to leave you?" Yato asked, eyeing the corn syrup warily.
"No, why? Do you think it's too much?"
"Absolutely." Yato answered.
"Alright, hey thanks for the save man," The man said, then closed the door behind him.
"Edo Police, open the door please," Kazuma said.
Yato's jaw dropped and his eyes filled with delight when the man who lived there opened the door wearing a three-piece suit and a cowboy hat. He had a very long handlebar mustache.
"Hello sir, we're with the Edo police-"
"You already said that."
"Right, sorry, we're here to ask you if you heard anything strange last night around ten o'clock."
"I'm afraid not, I just got back into town this morning, I was out on my ranch. My best horse has been ill these past few days, and my stable hand thought it'd be good for her to see me again."
"What's your horses name?" Yato asked, unable to stop himself.
"Mouse. My daughter named her when she was just a yungin."
"That's an amazing name for a horse." Yato said.
"Why thank you for saying so!"
"Thank you so much for your time," Kazuma interrupted. "And if you think of anything else please, stop by the ninety-ninth precinct."
"Of course." The man closed the door and Yato turned his delighted expression towards Kazuma.
"Isn't door duty the best?"
Yato let himself into Hiyori's apartment with the key he'd had made and announced his presence, and the fact that he'd brought food. He set his food on the table and followed the sound of retching to the bathroom, where Hiyori was kneeling on the ground in front of the toilet.
"I told you," he sighed, pulling her hair back and using the hair bow on his wrist to tie it up out of her face.
"I was hungry," she moaned, glaring at him from the corner of her eye.
Yato reached behind her to the sink and switched it on, grabbing a wash rag and wetting it. He passed it to her and she wiped her mouth, shooting him an annoyed look.
"I hate that you can eat anything." Yato shrugged grinning. "How's the case?"
"Great! I got assigned door duty!"
"I'm so happy for you, did you take Kazuma?" Yato nodded. "Find anyone cool?"
"I saw a guy in a three-piece suit with a cowboy hat and a handlebar mustache! He told me about his horse named Mouse!"
"You're joking!"
"I'm not! It happened, and you can ask Kazuma!"
"Anyone else?" Yato grimaced.
"You're not going to believe who lived in that building."
"Who?"
"Tomone."
"Your ex-girlfriend? The one you dated after him?" Yato nodded. He leaned back against the wall, staring up at the stained stucco ceiling.
"Yeah, I told her there was a murder and she asked if I did it, and said I was turning out like my dad."
"That's horrible."
"Yeah, but you know how things ended between us, I guess I can't blame her, I yelled when I first saw her too."
"But did you say anything that nasty?"
"No."
"Well there you go."
"Kazuma yelled at her for it though," Yato said, smiling, "so it was worth it to get to see that. He didn't even know who she was at first either, because they never met."
"Wow," Hiyori commented, turning her head to spit into the toilet, "I bet that made you happy." Yato nodded.
"After that we met the handlebar mustache guy and I forgot about it until just now. Kazuma asked about Hiiro, too."
"She's coming home for the holidays, right?" Yato nodded. Hiyori smiled. "I'm glad. You'll bring her by the station, right?"
"Of course." Hiyori turned her head and retched again, but her stomach was too empty to expel anything. Yato sat up and rubbed her back soothingly.
"I brought soup and my Magic Feel Better Smoothie, and the case file, if you're feeling up to it."
"Maybe later, if I live that long, I feel like I'm dying."
"You're not dying, here," Yato said, helping her to her feet, "let's get you laying down and I'll heat up the soup. Remember to drink the smoothie slowly so you don't overwhelm your stomach."
"My dad is a doctor, you know," she said.
"And yet you still eat street food."
"Shut up."
Yato escorted her to the couch where he tucked her under a quilt he had made, with love notes in the quilting, and dropped the case files within her reach. He then went into the kitchen and turned the stove on and dumped the soup into one of Hiyori's pans. The smoothie he took out of his cooler bag and put a bendy straw and little umbrella in before taking it over to Hiyori, who had already opened one of the case files and was flipping through it.
"See anything you like?" Yato joked.
"Hmm," she replied. Ignoring him as he pressed the back of his hand to her forehead to check her temperature.
"You're a little warm."
"So the second victim was a woman, older than the boy we found in the dumpster, were they in a relationship?"
"We don't know yet, but the woman was married, Bishamon is questioning the husband now." Hiyori shot him a curious look.
"Aren't you lead on this one, why aren't you doing the interview?"
"Because I have a partner to take care of, and she's scarier than me anyway." Hiyori's lips quirked into a small smile.
"You're right, she's plain terrifying, but you've got some scary in you too."
Yato returned to the kitchen to check on the soup while Hiyori asked him questions about the case.
"Did door duty turn up anything useful?"
"You mean other than a revisit of my unfortunate dating life?"
"Yes, other than that?"
"We had one or two people who said they heard arguing."
"Nothing else?"
"Nope. Tomone has a new boyfriend."
"Maybe he did it."
"That's exactly what I said but Kazuma got mad at me!"
The soup heated to boiling and Yato took it off the heat and poured it into a ceramic bowl. He grabbed a spoon and stirred it around a bit, blowing on it, before returning to Hiyori's side. He snatched an empty garbage can in case Hiyori needed to barf again and then settled on the ground in front of the couch near her waist. He set the soup on the coffee table as she took a sip of her smoothie.
"You'll have to wait a while on the soup, it's really hot." Hiyori nodded.
"The prints on the bloody handprint, do they match either of the victims?"
"No, I think they're probably from the killer."
"They look pretty big, I think they're a man's handprint. Twenty bucks says it's the husband and Bisha will have cracked him by the time you get back."
"Twenty says this case isn't that simple and the husband really is innocent."
"You're on."
"If I win I'm buying so many of those four cheese melty buns!" Hiyori groaned.
"Your diet is a travesty." Yato grinned at her.
"Do we have the victim's phone records yet?"
"They're in this other case file here." Yato handed it to her and he took the one she was holding and opened it, flipping through the victim's information. They sat for several minutes in companionable silence, Yato enjoying Hiyori's heat at his back. After a few minutes he sampled the soup. "Alright, this is cool enough to eat, do you think you can stomach it?"
"Maybe a little." She put down her case file and sat up slowly, using the arms of the couch for support. Once she was sitting Yato joined her on the couch and passed her the bowl.
"Are you sure you don't want me to feed you?" He asked, smiling sweetly.
"No thanks," she snapped, giving him a wary look. He sighed morosely and sat back, picking his file back up and perusing it. "I don't know what it is about your Magic Feel Better Smoothie and soup, but it always works wonders."
"It's because it's made with love!" She rolled her eyes but didn't protest.
"Hey, look at this number, it's not an Edo area code, and it called the male victim like ten times the night of the murders."
"It says it belongs to someone named Evan Richards. Could he possibly have a more mundane name?"
"Not everyone can be 'Starfish Pine' Yato," Hiyori said.
"Starfish Pine was a good one!" Yato reminisced. "I mean she was an arsonist, but what a cool name!" Hiyori rolled her eyes.
"I pity your kids, they're all going to have ridiculous names like Vanilla Wafer or Central Park."
"If I have a daughter I'm naming her Sakura and you know it!" He stuck his tongue out at her and hid his face behind his file.
"You're right, I'm sorry." He lowered his file again and smiled at her.
"Vanilla Wafer is still on the table for a boy, though." Hiyori made a disgusted sound and threw her head back, chuckling. Yato's phone rang and he answered it.
"What's up, Kazuma?"
"Hey, are you with Hiyori?"
"Yeah, of course, why?"
"How's she doing?"
"Alright, she's stopped throwing up because there's nothing left for her to puke, we're trying to put new stuff in her stomach now and we'll see in a bit how that works out."
"Well tell her I said I hope she's feeling better soon, and also the husband didn't do it." Yato let out a whoop of triumph and put his phone on speaker.
"Kazuma can you say that again?"
"...The husband didn't do it? He has alibi and it checks out."
"Yahoo!" Yato cheered, grinning at Hiyori.
"Why do I feel like you just won a bet?"
"Because he did," Hiyori groaned. "And he's going to blow all the money on junk food."
"Of course, he is his diet is a travesty."
"I'm right here you know," Yato said.
"We know," they replied together.
"Whatever, thanks for the info, is there anything else?"
"Only that the toxicology came back and both victims had been drinking but were below the legal limit."
"Alright, thanks."
"No problem." Yato slid his phone back into his pocket and pulled out the crime scene photos.
"Look at this open wine bottle, I bet anything that these two were on a date and someone came in."
"I think so too," Hiyori said. "The killers handprint almost definitely belongs to a man, maybe the male victim had a boyfriend? Or the woman had a guy on the side?"
"I can go back to the apartment later with Kazuma and check for evidence of a partner." Hiyori nodded and ate some more of the soup before setting it back on the table.
"Thanks for stopping by with your Magic Feel Better Smoothie and soup, Yato," Hiyori said suddenly.
"No problem, you know I can't stay away from you," he winked exaggeratedly at her and she rolled her eyes.
"You can leave your key on the table on the way out."
"I could, I do have more at home." Hiyori gave him a horrified look. "Look on the brightside, you'll never be locked out of your apartment!"
"I guess so."
Yato checked his watch, he still had thirty minutes left in his lunch break, and Hiyori lived pretty close to the station, so he could stand to stay later. He glanced around the apartment. Hiyori was usually pretty tidy, but she wasn't feeling well enough to clean up after herself. While he was here he might as well do the dishes, and maybe the laundry. He got to his feet and began collecting the few dishes that had been left out and took them to the sink.
"What are you doing?" Hiyori asked.
"Helping," Yato said. "You're sick."
"You don't have to do that, really, it was nice enough of you to bring the soup and smoothie, you don't need to clean up after me too."
"I know, but I want to. You'll feel better faster in a clean apartment. Are the dishes in the dishwasher clean or dirty?"
"Clean, but really, Yato, you don't have to."
"I don't mind," he said. "You help out the people you love." Hiyori's cheeks turned faintly pink the way they did when he said something genuine about his feelings for her instead of his usual over the top gifts and confessions.
He hummed to himself while he emptied the dishwasher, glancing up every now and then to see Hiyori looking over the case files. He smiled, this was comfortable. He was more at home when he was with Hiyori than when he was with anyone else. He was overcome briefly with the longing for Hiiro to be here too, helping him with the dishes like the three of them were a family. Maybe one day, he thought.
How long had he been in love with Hiyori for? Looking back, it seemed like he'd loved her all along, since the first day they met, but he'd been… otherwise occupied back then. He'd come to realize it after the trial and everything that happened with him, when she'd been so kind and gentle, and he'd realized he couldn't live without her. He'd tried a lot harder to win her affections then, whereas now he was just happy to be by her side. They'd settled into a comfortable rhythm, and she didn't hold it against him when he slipped up and did something outrageous like sending out wedding invitations to her family. Well, that had actually made her very mad. Yato chuckled.
"What's so funny in there?" She asked.
"Do you remember the first time I asked you to marry me?" Yato replied, and Hiyori made a sound of outrage. "Still mad, huh?"
"In front of everyone! Why are you the way that you are?" Yato laughed harder and stopped loading the dishwasher, afraid he'd drop something.
"Oh, come on, it was a beautiful proposal!"
"And very, very public! God, it felt like everyone in Edo was there! And they were all staring at me, some of them were even cheering 'say yes' it was horrible."
"To be fair I didn't ask them to chant, they did that on their own."
"My mom saw the video on YouTube, and she yelled at me for three hours over the phone for not telling her I was in a serious relationship." Yato clapped a hand over his mouth.
"You never told me that!"
"Once I explained that you were just some weirdo stalker-"
"Suitor."
"That I worked with I spent the next few hours convincing her not to come down here and file an official report with Tenjin. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to freak out. I'd already made you cry that week."
"That's very sweet of you."
"I hide this quilt every time she comes over, so she won't freak out again."
"Probably for the best." Yato closed the dishwasher and turned it on, then left the kitchen and began collecting dirty clothes off the floor and chairs.
"Yato really, the dishes were enough, you'll be late for work."
"I have enough time to start a load of laundry, Hiyori. Just stop fighting and let me take care of you."
"I feel bad when you do all this for me," she said.
"Then consider the twenty dollars I won in our bet payment for services rendered," he said, disappearing into her bedroom.
Hiyori knew without having to look that when she got up and went to bed later that night she would find her bed made and pillows fluffed. She looked around the tidy apartment, unable to hear Yato bustling around in her room over the sound of the dishwasher but knowing that he was back there cleaning. She wasn't sure what was more alarming, the fact that Yato was alone in her bedroom or the fact that she didn't actually feel alarmed by that.
There was once a time when Yato being in her apartment and going through her laundry would have felt like a horrible invasion of privacy, but now it just felt right. She had been startled by the ease at which she relaxed into the role of being taken care of, working through her illness while Yato did household chores. She could almost see Hiiro standing beside him drying dishes as he washed them, and that scared her. Having Yato around had become simply part of her life, one that she wasn't sure she could do without anymore, and she was beginning to imagine what it would be like if this were her life every day.
She shook the thought away. She couldn't be having these thoughts about Yato. Not again. She'd started feeling them shortly after the trial when he'd been so broken and destitute, and he'd needed her, but not in the way he'd imagined. He hadn't needed another romantic entanglement then, he'd needed a friend, so she'd buried her feelings down deep and forgot all about them for a time. She couldn't be having them after so long of saying no, because what if she said yes and then things didn't work out? He'd be crushed, and she couldn't crush him after he'd been through so much and finally started to be okay again. He deserved better.
Still though, the sound of him humming as he did the dishes had brought an involuntary smile to her face and had done far more than his Magic Feel Better Smoothie. She heard the dryer turn on, and the washing machine a few moments later. She waited for him to come back through the door and say something ridiculous before leaving, but he didn't.
Curiously she got to her feet and wrapped the love note quilt around herself before making her way slowly into her bedroom. She found Yato kneeling on the ground, humming, and folding her clothes. She didn't bother to wonder how he'd known which of her clothes she preferred folded and which she wanted hung, she was sure he'd been through everything, and probably taken a few things while he was at it. He glanced up when she entered the room and smiled.
"Feeling better?"
"Yeah." He went back to folding, separating the clothes into stacks before he finished and began putting everything in its proper place. "Give it back," she said tiredly.
"Give what back?"
"Whatever it is you took. Underwear, a dress, put it where you found it."
"I didn't-"
"Yato," she interrupted in a scolding tone. He grinned sheepishly and pulled a tank top out of his pocket.
"Sorry." Hiyori sighed.
"Just put it back." He folded it neatly and placed it in the drawer before closing it. "You're hopeless." Yato shrugged. He checked his watch.
"Well I better go, don't wanna be late with the captain breathing down my neck. Those case files are yours, I have copies at the station" When he brushed past her in the doorway he ducked down and kissed the top of her head. She punched him lightly on the shoulder, ignoring the way her heart hammered, hoping he would attribute the blush she felt rising in her cheeks to her fever.
"Get plenty of rest," he called when he closed the door. Hiyori collapsed against the wall and pressed a hand against her pounding heart.
"Hiyori," Tenjin said, "I didn't expect you to be back so soon! When Yato said you had food poisoning yesterday I thought you'd be out for the rest of the week."
"It's the Magic Feel Better Smoothie, Captain, it's magic," Yato said proudly. Hiyori shrugged.
"I'd love to argue with him, but it never fails," Hiyori said.
"What's in this magic smoothie?" Yukine asked, looking up from his work.
"It's the 'Magic Feel Better Smoothie' and I'm not telling you," Yato said. "It's a secret family recipe."
"I think he's making that part up," Hiyori said.
"I think so too," Kazuma said. "He never talked about it when we were kids."
"Well I didn't know about it then!" Kazuma rolled his eyes and turned back to his work, his back still perfectly straight.
Yato opened the top left drawer of his desk to say hello to Mickey and refill his food and water. He reached over and stroked his head softly a few times while he ate. The drawer was set up pretty well, for a desk drawer, Hiyori had insisted that if Mickey were going to live there he have ample room to play. Yato had wasted several work days collecting tax payer dollars fixing it up. He'd rigged the drawer to be deeper, so it would have a running wheel and a small habitat for him to crawl around in. There was also a small light, so he wouldn't have to be in the dark all the time. The bottom of the drawer was lined with newspapers and pine chips that were changed once a week. One of the conditions of Mickey's residency was that Yato keep the drawer clean.
"Oh wow," Yukine said, peering over his shoulder, "I just thought you had a rat in a drawer, but he's actually got a pretty sweet rig in there, hasn't he?" Yato nodded proudly.
"Hiyori made me do it, and now I'm happy, I think Mickey really likes living here."
"Why wouldn't he? He's got it made, he never has to hunt for food or water, it's all right there for him."
"Do you want to pet him?" Yato asked. "I have hand sanitizer here, you have to use it after you touch them even though he's had all his shots."
"Um, I think I'll pass," Yukine said, stepping back and holding out a file to Yato. "Uh, the guy you asked for is in interrogation room one."
"Oh! Hiyori! I found the male victims boyfriend; do you want to interrogate him with me?"
"Oh, I'm not really up to one hundred percent yet, maybe I should just watch from the viewing room. Take Bisha, you guys do bad cop worse cop."
"I thought it was good cop bad cop," Yukine said.
"Not with Viina and Yato. He may not seem like it, but Yato can be pretty scary," Kazuma said, shuffling some papers. "Try starting out nice, though Yato. I think I'll watch as well, you should come, Yukine."
"Cool," Yukine said.
"Good cop bad cop then bad cop bad cop, I like it," Yato said. "Even if I don't like her." He stuck his tongue out at Bishamon.
"Die," she said simply, getting up from her desk and pulling on her green military style jacket.
"You two get along well," Yukine muttered.
"They've never gotten along," Kazuma told him. "We all went to school together, they used to get into a fight once a week."
"So how are they supposed to work together if they hate each other?"
"There's something special about your bond with people you've known your whole life. Even if you hate them, you know them better than anyone. Those two at least trust each other to do their jobs, and that kind of trust layered on top of their long relationship is a powerful thing, when they can manage to get along that is."
"So, Mister Richards," Yato said, smiling sweetly at the man. "How are you today?"
"Um, bad," Richards said, casting an uneasy glance at Bishamon and the glare she was fixing on him. He edged away from her and Yato thought that maybe he wouldn't even need to turn on his scary face, Bishamon had barely dialed her scary up to a four and the suspect was already squirming to get away from her.
"I understand, you recently found out that your boyfriend was cheating on you, is that right?"
"Yeah, also that he died? I'm not thrilled about that either."
"Really?" Bishamon rumbled, sitting back in her seat and crossing her legs. "I would think you'd be happy, I mean, after all, that cheating bastard is dead."
"That's a horrible thing to say, Ma'am." Richards said.
"Yes, it is, Detective, you should be ashamed of yourself," Yato agreed. Bishamon kicked him under the table.
Kazuma groaned.
"Can't they just cooperate for five minutes without fighting?"
"They just need to get back into their groove," Hiyori said faithfully, "they can do it, it's just been a while since they've had to work together."
"I hope you're right," Kazuma said. "This guy's alibi didn't check out, all we need is a confession. If they screw it up and we have to release him he's in the wind."
"Wow, you guys sure have a lot riding on this," Yukine said. "I hope you chose your team wisely."
"We did, Yukine. Kazuma, have a little faith in your best friend."
"I think you're being too harsh, Detective," Yato said, "this guy has just gone through a trauma. Remember when my last relationship ended badly, and I was devastated for a week?"
"You mean when you curled up outside Hiyori's door for a week crying and she had to exit her apartment through the fire escape?" Bishamon jabbed. Yato made a face, he hadn't meant for her to bring up real events. Rude.
"Yes," and now the suspect was looking at him like he was insane.
"Dude…" He said.
"What I was trying to say is: this guy must be in so much pain right now and you're being mean to him! I mean I'm just thinking about losing my precious Tomone and I'm already tearing up!" Yato's lower lip began to quiver.
"Ugh, here we go again, on and on about Tomone."
"Finally," Kazuma said, smiling in relief. Hiyori sighed happily.
"See I told you it would work out," She said.
"Um, are you guys watching the same interrogation as me?" Yukine asked. "It looks to me like Yato just broke down crying in front of a suspect."
"Because he has a plan," Kazuma said. "Yato can cry on command."
"Either that or he's really neurotic, no one knows for sure," Hiyori added. Kazuma nodded.
"How do you know he isn't just freaking out about his break up, then?" Yukine asked.
"Because he hates Tomone," Kazuma said. "We saw her the other day and all they did was fight.
"And when he trapped me in my apartment for a week crying I had just refused his fifth marriage proposal, after he broke up with Tomone he broke into Kazuma's apartment to cry, not mine."
"Um, that really happened? I thought she was just messing around."
"Nope, that happened."
"Are you guys sure this guy shouldn't be in some sort of mental health facility?" Yukine asked. Hiyori laughed.
"Probably."
"Just watch," Kazuma said.
As the three watched Yato descended further into hysterics, moaning Tomone's name and sobbing, crocodile tears pouring down his face. Yukine grimaced. Yato threw himself forward onto the table, crying loudly.
"I'm so sorry for you, you must be feelling so much worse than me. I can still see her if I want to, but your boyfriend is dead! Gone forever! You'll never see him ever again or hold him or get to watch him sleep and laugh because he looks cute when he's dreaming! I'm so sorry."
"Ugh, I'm sorry for my partner, he's an idiot."
"Um, sir, really, stop crying. Please. I'm not that sad, really, so you don't have to be sad for me. I'll be fine, and you will be too, don't worry. She probably wasn't good enough for you anyway."
All at once Yato stopped sobbing and sat up, wiping his face on a tattered handkerchief. It was thanks to the layout of the interrogation room, with Yato and Bishamon facing the two-way mirror, that Yukine was able to absorb the full effect of Yato's change.
"Huuuh?" He asked, eyes solidifying into rings of arctic ice, burning Yukine with their cold. "I thought you said you were doing badly, like any sane person would be. Your boyfriend just died, you should be devastated. Why aren't you devastated?" Richards recoiled as far back as his chair would allow. Yukine felt like taking a step back as well.
"Because he killed him and his mistress, that's why."
"He was cheating on you, being cheated on is awful, isn't it?" Somehow Yato made the words sound like a threat. Yukine pitied Mister Richards, with both Bishamon and Yato swooping down on him, looking like feral lions ready for the kill.
"Why aren't you sad?" Bishamon snapped, pounding a fist on the metal table. Her fist left a dent.
"Because he got what he deserved!" Richards said, startled.
"And you're the one who gave it to him, weren't you?" Yato hissed, lips twisted into a nasty smile. "You caught that bastard with his whore and then you snapped."
"It wasn't the first time! He's been cheating on me with anything that moved! Hell, he probably slept with the two of you!"
"So, you killed him," Bishamon said.
"That's right! And I'm glad I did it!" Yato and Bishamon sat back in their uncomfortable steel chairs and fist bumped, looking smug. Hiyori punched the air and Kazuma let out a sigh of relief.
"W-wait!" Richards said. "I want a lawyer!"
"It's a little late for that, dumbass," Bishamon said, heading to the door of the interrogation room.
Hiyori and Kazuma went into the hallway to meet them with congratulations.
"What's the matter, Yato? You got the guy," Hiyori asked when she saw the look of distaste on Yato's face.
"I used the W word." Bishamon bent low and swiped Yato's legs out from under him. He crashed to the ground, head cracking painfully against the tile. The other three winced.
"There, your penance."
"I know you did that to be mean, but actually I feel a lot better now, thank you."
