Written for the prompt: "Castiel finds outs Lysander likes him by finding his once again lost notebook and seeing the poems Lysander wrote about him."


He doesn't set out to invade Lysander's privacy, he hadn't so much as realised that he'd left his notebook at his place. He only spots it when Demon leaps up at the table, knocking the book to the floor, landing open at a random page somewhere behind Lysander's current work.

Even then, he's not trying to look. It's just that some of the words catch his eye.

"Red hair like fire, but his flame does not burn for me."

He should stop there but his curiosity's been piqued and almost reflexively his eyes scan the page for more.

"A perennial infatuation, his eyes the only grey in my world."

That couldn't be about him, could it ? If not about him it is about some guy. So was Lysander gay or bi or something ? Sure Lysander's always been a private guy but Castiel couldn't be this dense right ? He would know his best friends' sexuality, wouldn't he ? Maybe it's just writing and nothing more, just fiction that bears no attachment to real life. It doesn't have to mean anything.

But then again the description sounds so familiar...

Castiel's thoughts go around in circles. Does Lysander actually like him like that, or is he just letting his imagination get ahead of himself. Even if he does like him, will knowing change anything ? If Lysander's liked him all this time and they still shared a healthy friendship, they should still be able to maintain that even if Castiel is aware. Right ?

Castiel can't even begin to question how he feels about Lysander in return. He thought he had a complete understanding of how their dynamic worked but that seems to have gone out the window. Plucking a daisy from the ground and trying the 'he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not' technique seems about as likely to give him the correct answer as introspection, given the shock he's feeling.

He doesn't know what the best course of action is but he knows sitting around at home will get him nowhere, so he shoves the notebook in a backpack and pulls out his phone.

To:
Lysander
From:
Castiel
R u at home ? Is Leigh home ?

To: Castiel
From: Lysander
Yes I'm at home, Leigh isn't here at the moment.

Hearing that, Castiel puts Demon on the lead and sets off towards Lysander's apartment. It seemed like a good idea back at his place, but the closer he gets the more nervous he becomes. Did he have a plan for this ? Was he just going to give Lys back his notebook and explain that he was just out walking Demon ? Or was he actually going to say something about what he read ?

Trying to prolong his journey as much as he can, he stops off at a bakery not far from Lysander's place, tying Demon's leash to the lamppost outside. He takes his time browsing the rows and rows of baked goods behind the counter, partly out of indecision, but also to stretch time. Eventually he settles on a box of éclairs and Viennese fingers. If this is going to be awkward, at least he's being a good guest and bringing food.

When he reaches Lysander's, it turns out the notebook's absence had yet to be noticed. Lysander hadn't a chance to wonder where he'd left it, to wonder whether or not it had been read, so Castiel doesn't bother saying anything for now.

Lysander's grateful for the food and even though he's yet to make dinner, it would be rude to turn down a gift, so he accepts an éclair and tucks in.

Well shit. This whole thing must have gotten to him somehow, because Castiel's subconscious is playing a nasty trick on him. Did he have to go and buy something so phallic ? That fucking éclair. Lysander bites into it and the cream trickles from the opposite end and it hangs there, almost dripping. Lysander wipes the excess cream from his lip in such a tantalising way that Castiel decides he can't bear it.

"Look, I better get going," Castiel says, pulling on his jacket, "I was only supposed to drop by for a minute, Demon needs to finish his walk." Demon, unfairly used as an escape, perks up from his spot by the couch, tail wagging.

"Well I won't delay you, thank you for dropping the notebook off."

Castiel stiffens, pausing in place by the door. Maybe he should let sleeping dogs lie, but he knows Lysander values honesty above all other traits. "Yeah about that, I didn't mean too, but I read a bit of what you wrote. Just the stuff on the opened page."

"Oh." Lysander raises an eyebrow and says nothing else.

"Yeah, you're a good writer Lys," he pauses, "You really know how to put your feelings into words." Maybe Castiel will say something more on the matter when he learns how to do the same.