Disclaimer: That which you recognize is not going to be mine. If it was, I'd be a guy.


Luke cradled his fallen father in his arms, wishing he had been able to do something for him during Anakin's last moments in the galaxy. Just then, two scientists in lab coats burst into the room.

"Vade, we've got it finished! You can be human again, right now." A young woman dances around as she said these words, apparently waiting for some sort of reaction from the felled leader. When no answer was forthcoming, she frowned. "Come on, Vade, we're talking about years of research here. You could at least give me a thumbs up or something."

"In case you haven't noticed, Anakin happens to be dead," Luke said, stressing the name Anakin.

The man who came in with the woman walked over to Luke and extended a hand. It took a moment for Luke to realize that he was trying to help him up. Reaching up, he grabbed the hand and pulled himself up.

"The name's Bond, James Bond," the man intoned dramatically.

"Really?" Luke asked, curious.

"Naw, I just really love those movies. Ian Fleming's a genius. My name's actually Ashley Grant." Luke looked at the man a little funnily, having no idea what the man was talking about, then raised his eyebrow at the woman who now stood carrying on a long tirade as she addressed Anakin. "Oh, her? That's Lara. Personally, I think she's a little off her rocker, y'know what I mean?"

Luke nodded slowly, then walked over to Lara, who was now sulking at the fact that "Vade" wouldn't talk to her. He gently laid a hand on her shoulder, when she suddenly whirled around and karate chopped him in the solar plexus. Luke fell to the ground, so surprised he didn't even cry out, as she stared at him with hard eyes that widened as she realized what she just did.

"I'm so, so sorry," she gushed as she helped him up. "Just instinct, right? I never know what kind of a chap will sneak up on me, trying to take advantage of a beautiful, innocent girl." Lara batted her eyelashes dramatically as she twirled. "Anyway, I'm Lara. This guy," here she pointed at Ashley, "is a James Bond wannabe, who's stuck with the name Ashley."

"Oi, watch it Lara," Ashley warned, advancing on the petite scientist. Lara shrieked and started running around the room, with Ashley chasing. Both were laughing hysterically. While they were running around, Luke took the opportunity to study the girl.

In every way, Lara looked the stereotypical scientist. Big flapping lab coat, large-lensed glasses with plastic frames, and honey brown hair pulled back into a stern bun with a few frazzled strands escaped. If Luke had not seen the way she acted, chances were he would have been scared stiff around her. Luke also noted that while short, she was extremely agile as she skittered around the room, trying to avoid being cornered by Ashley.

Ashley, on the other hand, was the complete opposite of Lara. Tall and well muscled, he looked more like a bodyguard or wrestler than a scientist. His black hair was cropped close to his head and his fingers were surprisingly delicate, unlike the rest of him. Luke attributed to the fact that he had to be careful while experimenting.

"So, what're we gonna do about Vade here?" Lara asked after Ashley had stopped chasing her. She was flustered and out of breath, and she took a long drink from a cup of water that had mysteriously appeared on a table. Actually, she made Ashley break into the Death Star's cafeteria and drag out the table, while she filled her cup with water. She'd offered Luke some too, but he didn't trust anything on the Death Star. "We can't waltz up to the Stormtroopers and say 'Hey guys, looks like Vade here is dead, guess we can all go home now.' They'd kill us! Besides, I haven't been paid yet."

"Is that why you're doing this?" Ashley teased. Both he and Luke laughed. The two had quickly become friends after they found out they both knew Han Solo. They swapped stories about predicaments Han had gotten them into, and out of.

Lara stood up huffily. "I'll have you know, my mother happens to be suffering from a severe case of Haringitis, my sister's been abandoned by her husband, and my uncle is about to go to prison for being falsely accused of laundering money from a company he doesn't even work for!" At the open-mouthed looks she was receiving from both Luke and Ashley, she snorted. "Did you really think my family is that dysfunctional?"

"Well, seeing as you were just yelling at a dead guy about fifteen minutes ago…"

"Shut up, Luke."

"Play nice, you two." Ashley wagged his finger at the squabbling adults. "Now, Lara, do you think the elixir would still be functional after death?"

At once, Lara became serious. "I do believe it would. It was created to restore Vade's dead cells, so why wouldn't it work post mortem? The worst that could happen would be he stays dead."

"Here goes nothing." Ashley gently lifted Anakin's body up and poured the frothy liquid down his throat, then moved back and waited.

"What's he doing?" Luke whispered to Lara.

"It's an elixir that would have restored Vader to his human form so he wouldn't have to rely on that clunky suit anymore. A fashion diva's nightmare!" Lara whispered back. "Why are we whispering?"

"I don't know," Luke answered, returning to his normal voice. "So tell me exactly what you two are doing here."

Lara tilted her head to one side as she answered. "Ashley happens to be one of the most famous biochemists of all time. Vade kidnapped him because anyone knowing about biochemistry would be able to understand what happened to his body."

"What's biochemistry?"

"I'm getting there. Biochemistry happens to be the study of the chemistry in the human body, or any living, breathing being for that matter. Now Ashley lived…"

"What's chemistry?"

"Luke! Go find a dictionary or something to explain that to you. Can I finish?" When Luke kept his mouth shut, Lara sighed and continued, "Ashley lived on a planet called Earth. The people on that planet are so weird! They think they're the only sentient beings in the universe. How egotistic! But some people there believe in aliens, although they are imagined to be green and odd-looking. Anyway, Vade and I decided…"

"Wait, you helped Darth Vader with all of his evil acts, like blowing up my sister's home planet?"

"NO! Luke, will you shut up and let me finish?"

"Sorry."

"Anyway, Vade and I decided that the Earthlings would think Ashley was abducted or something, so no worries there. Ashley was, and is, completely fascinated by all of this, so we didn't have to worry about him wanting to escape. The point is, if he says something you don't understand, it's probably from Earth. As for my part in Vade's life…"

"Why does he let you call him Vade?"

"Arghh! Because I annoyed the hell out of him until he let me! As I was saying, I came to him of my own free will because I wanted to help the resistance. I worked my way up the social ladder and became his most trusted confidant. At that point in time, I was able to start sabotaging his projects…"

"You dared to sabotage Darth Vader's plans?"

"Yes! Shut up! That's why the original Death Star had that major flaw. How else do you think Leia got those plans?"

Ashley tapped Lara on the shoulder. "I really think you should shut up now."

"And that would be because…"

Luke spun her around, where she came face to face with a very angry, red-faced, glaring Anakin Skywalker.


Heh heh, a cliffie already. Ok, maybe not really a cliffie. Sorry it's taken so long to update. Exams are very stressful. Anyway, if you would like to donate to a fund that helps with my writing, click the little blue box right... over... THERE!