The Trump era explained with Orks

We live in a confusing time filled with confusing new terminology and situations. At times like this, sometimes an Ork is the best person to explain things.

Chapter 1(Trump era)

Fake News explained by Orks.

On a body strewn battlefield, a huge mob of Orks boys stand bloody but victorious, surrounded by dead and wounded human soldiers and blown up tanks. The battle has soundly defeated the humans, and the only survivor is a captured disarmed commissar, standing defiantly surrounded on all sides by the mob of Orks.

The commissar clears his throat and speaks.

Commissar: You may have won this battle Ork filth, but just as the current Chapter Master of the Nova Marines Chapter said as he held aloft the severed head of Ork Warboss Butcher Bob at the battle of Jutinini, I say (heroic) statement X.

Orks: Umm, we was at da battle of Jutinini when da boss Butcher Bob got is ead knicked off. Dat space marine chapter master git actually said (rather uninspiring) statement Y.

Commissar: Bah! Fake news! I know for a fact that he said statement X!

Orks: umm, were you there? we are all pretty sure he said statement Y.

Commissar: no I wasn't there but I have it on good authority that he said statement X.

Orks: what authority? Did da chapter master or another marine who was there tell you?

Commissar: Ben Shapiro told me! Look at this FOX news clip!

Commissar pulls out a display screen and plays a YouTube clip.

Ben Shapiro on YouTube: I wasn't at the battle but I firmly believe statement X is true, we ALL know it is true, therefore statement X is true. Anyone who says that statement X isn't true is just biased fake news. (Clip ends without Ben Shapiro giving one shred of evidence to back up his claim).

Commissar: SEE! I told you!

Orks: we was all THERE ya git. We even recorded it on our shoulder cameras.

The Orks pull out screens of there own and download footage off a hundred different cameras, showing the event from 100 different angles with full audio. The films all clearly show the Chapter Master saying statement Y.

Commissar: FAKE NEWS!

Orks: it's on tape ya stupid git!

Commissar: the tapes are doctored!

Orks: you is suggesting that a bunch of us simple Orks figured out how to actually convincingly doctor a tape and then did it 100 different times just to win this stupid argument?

Commissar: Yes! George Soros PAID you to make this fake news!

Orks: who da heck is dis George Soros git ya talking about?

Commissar: You know full well who he is! You are all fake news!

Orks: you is retarded or something ya stupid human git.

Commissar: So now you resort to name calling?! So much for the tolerant left!

Orks: what da heck is ya talking about?

Commissar: the chapter master said statement X and you KNOW it's true!

A drop pod suddenly slams down to the battlefield and the chapter master of the Nova Marines steps out. He holds his sword aloft and says his heroic pre-fighting speech.

Chapter Master of the Nova Marines: Just as I said as I held aloft the severed head of Ork Warboss Butcher Bob at the battle of Jutinini, I now again say statement Y!

Brief pause.

Commissar: fake news...