Please let this be mine… Please let this be mine…. Please let this be mine… did it work? Well according to my bank it didn't so I suppose it was just wishful thinking. We all know who Harry potter belongs to and we all wish it was us, but it isn't. Nor do we get any money for this, it's done because we are obsessed, bored shitless and can't control our own lives so therefore feel the need to control someone else's. Have fun and as always review. I'm writing this because I couldn't find a story with all my ships. I am a uni student who is studying nursing so if I don't post at least weekly, please be patient it depends on my assignments and what exams I have but I'll try to warn you about those. And to save you from having to read my "it's not mine, it's hers" statement all the time I'll let this one cover it cos it's long and been stated twice now and if any one feels the sudden urge to sue me, good luck with that uni student no money so save your breath and your time! If any one recognises any thing chances are its not mine. I've read so many Harry Potter fics now that I've probably taken something (by accident) I normally read about one fic a week (novel length) and have done so for the last two years, so it's a lot of stuff I've taken in folks. I sincerely apologise if I have taken something of yours, as I won't have meant to, (unless I credit you).
So I'll sign off now and get on with my story. Oh yeah, one more thing: eKisses for those people who review! The more reviews I have the faster I'll be compelled to update ALSO: I don't have a beta. If any one wants to fill that role leave me a note in a review.
WARNING:
This fic takes place after my puppy (Sirius) dies so it features a torn up Harry who then gets to go back "home" and puts up with what can very loosely be described as his "family". Harry gets abused (physically, verbally and sexually) and indulges in self-harm as well as a suicide attempt. Folks its dark at the start and I don't bullshit or beat around the bush. (Yes I'm an Aussie!!) There will also be quite a bit of language. Also every thing is spelt Aussie, like mum rather than mom if you don't like it, too bad!
My Ships are as follows:
Harry/Ginny
Remus/Tonks
Ron/Hermione
There will be more, however to state them here gives away something farrrrrrr too big. Sorry no bones for the little puppy.
Chapter One – Punishment
Harry climbed into his uncle's car at the train station not feeling any emotion at all. If Harry had to describe what he felt, he would tell you that he felt dead. And that he wished he were dead. Did Dumbledore not understand that he had not moved for a reason when Voldemort tried to kill him? Damn it he had even begged for death, but did Dumbledore pay any attention to his wish, no instead he just gave him extra reason to wish that he had died. Fifteen-year-old (soon to be sixteen thank you very much!) Harry Potter had the world placed firmly on his shoulders.
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies. Stop thinking about that!!
"What's wrong Potty? Cry baby, Cry baby. Did you just realise that no one loves you?" Dudley sneered.
Harry wiped his cheeks, removing the tears he had not realised were there. He opened his door even before the car fully stopped grabbed his trunk out of the boot and waited for his Aunt to open the front door of number four privet drive. He immediately went to his room and changed into a pair of grey sweat pants and a loose black jumper. He reached into his trunk and pulled out a piece of broken mirror and pocketed it before walking back out the front door.
The grey sky was steadily growing darker; tonight there would be one hell of a storm. It began to gently rain but it soon gave way to a sting your skin, hurt your eyes downpour. Harry sat under a tree and leant his back against the wet bark watching as lightning flickered across the skies, the rain that continued to fall washed away the tears that ran down his face. He took a deep breath and pulled the broken mirror from his pocket. He pushed up the sleeves of his jumper and placed the ragged edge against the pale skin of his wrist and pressed down watching as the rain cleared away the blood. He continued cutting lines up both his arms and pressed deeper with each cut. He stared at his arms, there were about fifteen lines on each arm one for every year of misery he had lived on each arm. He brought the sleeves of his jumper down and pocketed the glass again.
He looked at his watch and noticed it was eleven o'clock. Mildly surprised at how late it was he stood up slowly feeling slightly dizzy and stretched his cramped muscles before walking home slowly. He paused halfway home when he began to wonder who was on Potter duty before swearing furiously when he realised that who ever was watching had likely seen that and would report it to the old meddling fool. He shook his head "nothing I can do about it now." He mumbled out aloud and continued to walk home.
Charlie Weasley held Nymphadora Tonks as she sobbed silently. They were under strict orders not to show themselves to Harry for any reason, unless of course Deatheaters showed up. They could do nothing but watch as the young man they both admired turned his emotional pain into something more physical. They could only hope he would come out of this without too much harm.
"Should we tell Dumbledore?"
"No, I don't think so Tonks. I don't think Harry would willingly talk to him any way. Ron told me that there is a lot of tension between Harry and Dumbledore at the moment, we should tell Remus and Bill though when they come on duty next. We'll have to tell them not to tell Dumbledore and I think it should stay between the four of us." Charlie sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "And I think this is one of Dumbledore's orders that can go straight down the drain. The last thing Harry needs right now is to be left alone to his thoughts with no company except those bloody relatives of his."
"Charlie? Some of those looked deep enough to cause some damage. He lost enough blood right now that he should be in some serious trouble."
"I know Tonks, I know. It looks like his magic is preventing him from causing too much harm to himself. I think its only doing so because he only wants to feel the pain rather than kill himself. Madam Pomfrey has said before that he heals amazingly fast, has an extremely high threshold for pain and has never been to the hospital wing sick. So maybe he is more powerful than we think."
"I hope so. I really do, for his sake."
Harry quietly opened the front door and snuck through hoping that his relatives were all in bed. He walked into the kitchen and pulled out a slice of bread from the packet.
"No one told you that you could take that you little thief. Throw it in the bin now!"
"Yes Uncle Vernon." Harry sighed and tossed it in the bin. A second later a meaty fist connected with his face and Harry found himself unable to move as another wave of dizziness hit him.
"That's for leaving without asking permission." He snarled and hit Harry again with enough force that it spun him around and knocking him to the ground so that he lay on his stomach "that's for coming home late." Harry heard the sound of a zip before he was yanked to his knees and held there too weak and shocked to move though he knew what was surely going to happen. He was proven correct and he cried out when his Uncle entered him roughly and pounded into him with such force that he felt he would split in half from the pain.
"And…this…is…for…ruining…our lives…you…FREAK!" Harry felt his Uncle explode into him before withdrawing just as roughly and snarled, "Get to your room and stay there until I tell you, you can come out"
Not having the strength to stand Harry pulled up his pants and said, "Yes Uncle Vernon." Before crawling up to his room. Once there he lay on the floor too sore to move any more and passed out.
A/N: this is a good place to stop I think. I know that Harry is actually fairly strong and would have normally fought to the death to stop his Uncle or at least run, but a) he's depressed and on some level believes he deserves it for Sirius' death. B) He just cut himself and it was stated that he lost a lot of blood so he is physically weak. Also I would like to make something clear and will state it later in the story for those who don't read A/Ns : Tonks&Remus not Tonks&Charlie. Dumbledore knows that they are likely to become more than friends and for safety sake, does not partner up couples.
