Darkness.

That was all Lorelai Gilmore had seen for weeks. Without removing her eyes from the wood grain of the living room floor, she shifted her emaciated frame so that her head was supported by the moldy arm of the couch. The shades had been drawn for weeks- since that night in fact- the night of the argument in the street that had determined the rest of her life. She had thought of going to Christopher, but she had already been down that path. She knew exactly where it led. Running to Chris had only led to more tears and heartbreak in the past; it was time for her to grow up and face her despair alone.

She decided instead that she wanted to be alone to think. She wanted to revel in her misery and failure to make the one man she loved, her soul mate, see that she was worth marrying. After dropping Paul Anka off at Babbette's, she had called Rory and told her she was going to be out of town. She didn't know how long she would be; she told her not to come looking for her.

The floor around her was littered with what looked like old Pop-Tart wrappers and boxes of Mallomars. She glanced at them. When was the last time she had eaten? She wondered how much longer it would take for her body to finish slowly eating itself alive. Around her pillow and in the couch cushions, tissues were stuffed liberally, as if the couch were losing its filling. She remembered the earlier days of her isolation, when things like crying and eating were a necessary part of her grieving process. The loss of the love of a man like Luke was too much to bear. Her heart and soul had been broken. She had let her mind play the ultimatum in the street over and over, like a twisted broken record that no one had ever bothered to set straight. She had moved on to acceptance now. He didn't want to marry her. He didn't want her to have his babies and to raise his family. What can a heart do when its other half refuses to join together to become whole? It gives up, that's what it does.

"Luke." Her ragged and hoarse whisper in the darkness had seemed to shake the foundations of the house to its very core, the first word that had been uttered in that tomb of silence in days.

"Luke." She repeated . She knew the end was near. She could feel that even that slightest bit of activity had cost her the majority of her energy.

It won't be long now, she thought to herself as she felt even more of her life force slip away like sand through fingers, a day or so more and I will never have to think about him again.

She slipped fitfully into unconsciousness. These were always the hardest parts of her solitude. Sleep would take her- and in its malice would show her everything that could have come into being. Luke with her on the beach as they ran in the surf and laughed. Watching a sunset as Luke came up behind her, reverently cupping his hands around her growing belly. A beautiful young girl of about three with brilliant blue eyes and black curly hair. Her father lifting her up and twirling her around and around and around. Standing on the porch of the Dragonfly- his weathered hands against her wrinkled face.

Suddenly, her dreams changed. They seemed to take on a life of their own as they unfurled their ugly wings and swiftly took flight upon her already battered heart.

"There's nothing like a wedding to screw up a family, Lorelai," Luke sneered at her. "It's not biologically natural for people to mate for life. People grow and evolve their whole lives. The chances that people are going to grow and evolve at the same rate- too slim to take. The minute you say I do, you're sticking yourself in a tiny little box for the rest. of. your. life." With each of those final words, Luke pushed her, pushing his fingers into the tender skin of her shoulders, accentuating the pain of them.

"You weren't supposed to talk to Anna. I had April to consider. I can't just jump like this!" He screamed.

His words still echoed in her ears as the scene around her melted and shifted. She was standing on the bow of a huge ship. The sounds of laughter and sea spray permeated the air. The smell of salt tickled her nose as the gentle wind caressed her hair. Luke and Nicole were standing in front of a man dressed in captain's uniform. He was wearing a simple suit and she, a simple white dress. She moved in closer to hear what was being said.

"And do you, Luke, take Nicole to be your lawfully wedded wife- to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?"

There was a a momentary flash of hesitation in his eyes before he solemnly vowed "I do".

Tears stung Lorelai's tortured eyes as she whispered, "Yes, you can, Luke. You can jump like this. You've done it before, but I wasn't worth you doing it again. "

She awoke with a start. Tears had been slipping through her closed lids and falling to soak the fabric beneath her weary head. She knew it was time. She knew that the moment was here. She needed to say her goodbyes now while she still had the strength. Her next slip into the realm of unconsciousness was sure to be her last. And so without another thought, she began to sing. Her sweet soft voice that flooded the empty room was choked with emotion and cracked from weeks of not being used.

Bittersweet memories,

That's all I'm taking with me.

So goodbye, please don't cry.

We both know, I'm not what you need.

And I will always love you. I will always love you.

I hope life treats you kind.

And I hope you have all you dreamed of.

And I wish you joy and happiness,

but above all, I wish you love.

And I will always love you. I will always… love …you.

Her voice shattered on the last line, letting the sobs finally wrack her wasted body. Tears fell thick and fast upon the already saturated couch cushion. She turned her head as a diamond and platinum band fell off her shrunken finger and hit the floor. She moved quickly for a woman who had not used any muscles in her body for days. She rolled off of the couch and fell to the floor, not even trying to brace her body for the impact. With labored breathing and her eyes nearly swollen shut with tears, Lorelai ceremoniously grasped the ring and returned it to its rightful place on the fourth finger of her left hand. With that reverent, almost worshipful action, she broke. She felt that had she not been the only person left in the world, the entire town of Stars Hollow would have heard her wail of complete pain and utter misery. It was the death of her soul turned into raw emotion and sound. Luke Danes may not have been willing to take her as his wife, but she would die his fiancée. There was nothing he could do to change that.

She heard a bang as she rasped through her cracked lips, "Peace, it will all be over soon".

She felt strong yet gentle arms lifting her and she knew that this was the end. The angel of death had finally come for her. Lorelai saw a flash of Luke's face, his beautiful eyes filled with tears and her name on his lips, and remembered no more.