Summary:

Lovely Esme doesn't bet, right? Emmett, being the fun idiot we all loves decides to change that! What happens when this bet lands the whole Cullen family in a popular TV show? What do you think would happen if the Cullen family had their very own episode of Trading Spouses? Well let's find out…

A/N: Okay guys this is my second fanfic… and not at all depressing like my last! LOL so this idea just popped into my crazy head and I decided to try it out! Please Please tell me what you think and if you want me to continue because I am not entirely sure if I should run with this story or not. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW and tell me what you think! Thanks!!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight unfortunately, although Stephenie has graciously allowed people to have a bit of fun with her characters!! Enjoy!!


Esme's POV

I sat in the living room watching the television with my dear Rosalie. Apparently this show was one of her favorites. Not something I would normally do, but seeing that Carlisle was still at work and I had nothing better to do, I sat on the couch watching humans strut about the screen trying for an entertaining manner.

I am not quite sure what I was watching, but it had to do something with a man from another world who had super human strength, speed, and durability, just like us without the whole drinking blood thing. Although, unlike us, he had a strong weakness called something like Kryptonite. He was like a combination of Edward and Emmett making it quite comical.

In build, he defiantly reminded me of big burly Emmett, intimidating in size but kind at heart. Then his personality and actions reflected Edward quite well. He was very protective of this Lana character, which happened to be human, further simulating my eldest son. I believe this main character's name was Clark… yes Clark Kent.

"Emmett is so much better than this wana be vampire! Look at his arms! They are weak in comparison to Em's sexy bod," Rosalie criticized with a smug look on her face.

"Rose, then why are you so attached to this show?" I questioned not understanding her reasoning at all. Laughter came from the kitchen where the rest of my children were gathered, with the exception of Edward and Bella. They would be joining us this fine Saturday afternoon shortly.

"Because I know Emmett is so much better! Come on! Emmett got me and Clark got that Lana girl! Ha, I am so much prettier than her that it is almost funny," As if to prove her point, Rosalie flipped her hair while crossing her arms. "Plus that Lex Luther knows what he wants and will stop at nothing to get it, just like me."

I struggled to keep from rolling my eyes at my highly conceited daughter. Sometimes it amazed me how vain she could be, but it didn't make me love her any less. She really was a sweet girl under her 'I love myself' and 'I'm tougher than you'.

Having heard our conversation, Emmett entered the living room, a big goofy smile playing across his face. I had to admit, he was much more… fit than this Clark Kent to say the least.

"Did I hear someone talking about my hot bod?" He paraded over to Rosalie, drowning out her giggles with a very involved kiss. I loved my children dearly, but that did not mean I wanted to witness them practically eating each other's faces right in front of me. I got up to leave the room when Emmett stopped me.

"Wait mom! I wanted to ask you something," Stopping right before I hit the stairs, I turned to look at him expectantly.

"Yes Emmett?"

"Well Jasper and I were betting in the kitchen and," before he could continue, I interrupted.

"You know how much I dislike your betting Emmett," I was not favorable of their constant bets about this and that. Money wasn't the issue; it was the things they made each other do. For example, Emmett lost a bet to Jasper last week and he had to go to school dressed up in female clothing! Not only did he get expelled from school for cross-dressing, but also Rosalie was extremely ticked off because her husband stretched her favorite shirt and her skirt was beyond repair. Not to mention her high heels that broke under his weight.

"I know, that is my point!" Emmett said while dramatically throwing his hands up in the air. Jasper walked in the room followed by Alice listening to mine and Emmett's exchange.

"I don't see where you are going with this?" The glint in his topaz eyes told me he was up to something, and that was never good.

"Well you have never even tried betting so how do you know it won't be fun?" He was asking me to try betting? Yes that defiantly was an Emmett thing to ask. Before I could turn his crazy idea down, he interrupted me.

"Come on, please! I promise it will be fun! If you win I will do anything you want! … And vice versa… but I will never ask you again if you just try it this once!" He went all out with the begging thing, even kneeling in front of me with his hands together. What topped it all off was the big puppy dog face he gave me. Yeah, try starring at a man the size and shape of a bear giving you a puppy dog face! I wanted to burst out laughing and give him anything he wanted at the same time… but I still disliked betting.

"Emmett I'm sorry, but I just…" Again he cut me off.

"Please, please, please mommy!" What the heck? Mommy? He was most defiantly desperate. I couldn't help but notice as Jasper's smile grew while I attempted to turn down Emmett's offer. With a dramatic sigh I gave in. I mean who could resist?

"Huh, fine but only this once. So how do we do this?" I asked, laughing at Emmett's reaction.

"BOO YA! She said yes!" He was jumping up and down like a little child on Christmas morning that just got the gift of their dreams. During our conversation Edward walked in the door carrying a giggling Bella bridle style.

"What's up?" Edward asked as he placed his fiancé down gently.

"Esme is going to make a bet with me!" Emmett didn't hesitate to exclaim proudly. Everyone knew how much I detested this form of entertainment, causing both Edward and Bella to stare at me in skepticism.

"You're really going to bet him Esme?" Bella asked sweetly with wonder I her eyes as she clung to Edward's side. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her hair. They really were so cute together and she made him so happy! I was elated Edward finally found someone he truly loved.

"Yes dear, I guess I am," I shook my head at what I had just agreed to. My, my, my, this had better not end badly. What will Carlisle think?

"Noooooo!" Jasper cried dramatically while hanging his head in despair. I was confused for only a short second before Emmett made it clear.

"That's right Jazzy boy! A thousand bucks straight up!" Of course they bet on my response. I simply rolled my eyes at them.

"Hey the bet was five hundred you moron!" Jasper said aggravated.

"No it was a thousand!" Emmett replied just as stubborn. Before I knew it Jasper and Emmett were rolling around the living room wrestling for the upper hand. They were knocking into everything!

"Boys, please," I attempted to end their quarrel but went unheard to their ears. Emmett was able to pin Jasper to the ground, ecstatic that he had triumphed in their little battle.

"A thousand man," Emmett padded Jasper on the back after helping him up. They were laughing absent-mindedly until Jasper caught on to my irritation. I knew they were only joking with each other when they roughhoused, but they still always ended up damaging something in my nice house!

"I told you guys not to wrestle in the house!" My hands were placed firmly on my hips.

"Sorry mom," both of them apologized together before fixing the overturned furniture. Luckily nothing was broken this time.

"So on to the bet then?" Rosalie was leaning against the doorway to the kitchen in an uninterested manner.

"Yes come on guys! Wow, I didn't even see Esme agreeing! This is going to be fun!" Alice sang, skipping back into the kitchen. The rest of us followed her, and I noticed a stack of cards sitting on the table. Oh merciful heavens, what did I get myself into? Everyone gathered around the table with me sitting opposite from Emmett.

"Okay, we are going to play black jack which is a card game," Emmett was speaking very slowly as is explaining to a toddler. "In this game the dealer gives you a card face down and…"
"Emmett dear I am not that obtuse to not know how to play black jack," I replied confidently.

"Really? Oh sorry. So the winner of our little game gets to make the loser do any one thing they want," Jasper acted as the dealer while Emmett explained what we were betting.

Once he said the prize, I knew exactly what I would make him do upon victory! No more betting! Then, remembering the previous wrestling match that occurred in my living room and the other day when he broke my favorite lamp while rough housing with Edward, I thought again. I could ban him from wrestling in the house, or near it at least. Edward smiled at me apoligetically having heard my thoughts. I returned his warm smile showing I wasn't still upset about the lamp before turning to face my opponent.

"Game on then," I smiled looking at my cards, deciding what the best move would be.

"Ladies first," Emmett gestured to me from across the table. I was about to go when Alice gasped, her hand flying to her mouth in surprise.

"I can't believe who is going to win!" She said before giggling. Okay? Edward merely looked amused. Whatever happens happens I guess.

"Hit me dealer," I told Jasper allowing him to pass me another card. Keeping a poker face, I did not show my glee at having a 20 out of 21.

"Give me a hit too buddy," Emmett, declared smacking the table, it shook beneath his paw like hand.

"Careful, I don't want this table broken Emmet Cullen!"

"Sorry mom," he said remorsefully before his signature smile covered his face.

"Would you like to show cards or take another hit mother dear?" His voice was far too smug for my liking; maybe taking this bet wasn't such a good idea.

"I'm good," I said carefully, eyeing him warily. I was his mother; he wouldn't make me do something too horrible if he won would he? Oh merciful heavens I hope not!

"Okay let's see your cards," Jasper said while sending out strong waves of suspense. If I was human, I know I would have been sweating from nervousness.

Flipping my cards over, I stated my hand. "Twenty?" my voice betrayed my nerves as it was slightly shaky and came out as a question.

"Well I'm sorry mommy dearest, but that just doesn't quite make it. Twenty-one," He beat me. My nerves were replaced with dread.

"DAMN IT!" I yelled after Jasper sent me an immense wave of frustration and anger. Everyone starred at me in shock at what I had just said. Oh my goodness! Once again I was glad I was not human, otherwise I would have done a very Bella thing and blushed at my mistake.

"Umm…" I cleared my throat uncertainly, "I… uhh… sorry?" The uncomfortable silence lasted for about two more seconds before everyone burst into laughter, me included.

"I… can't… believe… Esme… just swore!" Emmett gasped out between fits of laughter. Jasper of course was highly amused to the point where he no longer controlled his power, and soon enough he had everyone rolling around the floor laughing so hard it was difficult to breathe. Luckily we didn't have too… wait Bella! Jasper must have realized this at the same time for he immediately sent waves of calm. Bella was draped over Edward gasping for air while he worriedly stroked her hair.

"Bella love are you okay?" Edward asked once she reclaimed her breathing correctly.

"Yes I'm fine," she smiled at everyone before letting out a few more giggles. "And don't worry Esme, we didn't hear a thing." I smiled gratefully at her.

"I really am sorry, I don't know what came over me!" My behavior was inexcusable! Oh what will Carlisle say if he hears?

"The effects of betting mom," Edward remarked, his crooked grin causing Bella to swoon. How cute!

"Umm and could you guys conveniently forget this little incident when speaking with Carlisle?" I asked. I would probably end up telling him anyway because we keep no secrets, but I would rather he heard it from me.

"Like Bella said mom, I don't know what you are talking about! So now it's time for you to pay up!" Emmett looked at me excitedly.

"Oh no," stupid, stupid, stupid! Why did I take that bet! See, this is why it is bad! The loser feels horrible… and a little scared in my case. That is bad enough without the swearing that just seems to erupt!

"Oh yes! Now what shall I make you do?" Right at that moment, the TV caught his attention. Rose and I had left it on and I shuddered with horror at what I saw. It wasn't Smallville anymore; instead a famous reality show… and I knew that was exactly what Emmett would make me do. As if mocking me, the TV announced my doom.

"That's right ladies and gentlemen! It's time for TRADING SPOUSES!"

"Perfect," Emmett purred evilly, while rubbing his hands together like you see in the movies. I was so dead… well metaphorically since technically I was already dead, actually more like the undead really… oh forget it.


A/N: Well there you go guys! Tell me what you think! … Oh and if someone can give me a bit of info on trading spouses or wife swap (whatever) cause I am not a total pro on the specifics of the show and it would make my story writing a great deal easier! Thanks! )

-Edwardluvr22

P.S.- Sorry if the characters are a little OOC in this story… I will try my hardest )