Part One: Afraid to Fail

Chapter One: Packing My Bags

Summary: Chelsea Lewis, Ashley Davies, Lana Lang, Maria DeLuca, Terri McGreggor, and Anna Taggaro all come from different worlds, dealing with loss, rejection, and attempting to make huge changes in their lives. So they all go to a four-month pre-college program and that's where the drama begins.

Characters:

1) Lana Lang: Sensitive sweetheart, sometimes self-centered, unsure of herself, adopted, restricted by her over-protective and sometimes moody aunt Nell, kind-hearted, hurt easily, always cheerful, Aquarius, humanitarian, has lived in a small town all her life, wishes she were someone else, low self-esteem, agile, getting out of a bad relationship, short with a medium-build, conservative 20

2) Maria DeLuca: Loveable, makes friends quickly and often, makes people feel good, smiley, relationship with her mom is suffering because she's obsessively over-protective, doesn't know anything about her dad, Libra, spends a lot of her time trying to gain independence from her mom and her friends help her out, increasingly girly, Libra, needs other people to love her so she can love herself, spent her early teenage years trying to fit in, very liberal 17

3) Ashley Davies: Talkative, loves to party and drink her problems away, keeps boyfriends/girlfriends for a long time, has never gotten over two of her exes, feels pressure between being like her step-sister Kyla whom everyone loves and choosing her own life, Gemini, doesn't cope well with emotional situations, hot-tempered, liberal, lives with Kyla, Italian, 17

4)Terri Macgregor: Boy crazy, sometimes chooses guys over her friends, enthusiastic about life and love, creative, feels pressure to be thinner, has a strained relationship with most of her friends because of her many mess-ups but can be a good friend when she really tries to, Cancer, determined, average student, modest, super ultra conservative 17

5) Anna Taggaro: Super-stylish, trendsetter, very tall and modelesque, perfectionist in everything, feels that she has to be the best at everything, wants to be the center of attention and is bothered when she's not, always on the move, can be manipulative but masks it, most of her friends confide in her but she doesn't confide in anyone, insecure, has very low self-esteem but tries to hide it, Sagittarius, innovative, stubborn, 16


Pre-Summer Blues

Chelsea Lewis walked down the beach in Santa Monica, California. She had never really liked such large open bodies of water, but then again she had never given it a chance. Fear had stopped her. Maybe it was fear of almost drowning since she wasn't the best swimmer or maybe it was something deeper. Chelsea was often like that.

For everything she did, she could think of at least three other things that she hadn't tried because she couldn't predict the outcome. Spontaneity was far from her middle name, especially since her pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage.

The real story was that Chelsea had been one of the students shot at her senior prom at King High School, along with her then boyfriend Clay Carlin. It ached when she thought about it. Clay hadn't survived the shooting and neither had her unborn child. Chelsea lost two people that day and it just made her even more afraid.

Some people found a new appreciation for life after death. They wanted to "live it to the fullest" whatever that meant, but Chelsea was just the opposite. Their deaths just made it even more obvious that at any moment, her life could be gone, in the blink of an eye, in the final realization that the first raindrop had fallen.

She inhaled deeply. Going to the beach was a step. A huge, positive step. It was the first real place she had gone since the … "accident." Clay loved it here. He had always tried to get her to go, and he did once. Chelsea, as careful and subconscious as she was, made sure that she not only had every type of floating device known to man, but that she also kept as covered as possible. Bathing suits, without cover-ups, were not in her vocabulary.

Still, today felt different to her. Besides the fact that Clay wasn't here and she wasn't a teenage mother, something else had changed. Chelsea could feel it well up inside of her, but wasn't sure what to say about it. She went back to join the others.

"Talk much?" Spencer Carlin, sister of Clay, appeared by her side with the usual crew of Ashley, Aidan, and Kyla.

"I'm just thinking." Chelsea whispered quietly, shutting off her negative thoughts and trying to pretend like she wanted to be there and that she was over it, but she wasn't.

"Well, I am having this huge sea shell collecting contest, if anyone wants to join me?" Spencer turned her particular attention to Ashley who, after the shooting, had avoided making a decision between her ex-boyfriend, Aidan, and her on again off again girlfriend, Spencer. Instead, Ashley had chosen herself.

"Before we get to the world-famous Carlin Partridge Family Fun, I have an announcement, sort of." Ashley looked to her younger half-sister whom she once spent so much time hating.

"As you all know, for many of us, after graduation, this is it. High school is over." Ashley sighed. "Fortunately, I'm not one of those." Chelsea and the others stopped to look at her in surprise.

"I failed Physics … no, not on purpose … well, not entirely." Ashley smiled, catching Spencer's eye for a second. "Well, Ms. Davies doesn't like the idea of me being a failure while I'm still associated with her so … I'm doing pre-college."

"What?" Spencer asked in surprise as Aidan started staring out towards the shore of the beach, begging to get into the water. His leg was even shaking anxiously.

"So … did you get in or what?" Kyla wondered, excitedly, snatching up Ashley's purse and pulling out a letter.

"How did you know?"

"I do live with you sis." Kyla answered, still speaking about something that no one else knew about. Opening the letter, a small smile crossed her face then grew larger and larger. Soon, Kyla was shouting. "You got in! You're in! You got it!"

"No shit." Ashley responded, reading the letter out loud to everyone, paying particular attention to Aidan's response. She had gotten into the East Coast Pre-College Program hosted by a number of schools. All accepted students would stay in special dorms at New York University.

Chelsea shifted uncomfortably. She didn't know that anyone else knew about that program. She had worked so hard to make sure that she wouldn't have to see these people so much over the summer. They all reminded her of Clay somehow.

"So … umm, what program did you get accepted into? What classes are you taking?" Chelsea spoke up.


Terri Macgregor stepped into the crowd at the Degrassi Community School. It was graduation. This was where she would have been if Rick never hurt her. Six months in a coma plus reconstructive memory therapy had set her back a year. It would be so easy to hate Rick for what he had done to her, but he was her first love.

Deep down Terri did hold resentment for someone. Paige Michelchuk. Had she not gotten Terri drunk before she went to the school dance with Spinner, he would have chosen her, not Paige. Plus, it hurt to know that out of all her friends, Ashley Kerwin was the only one to stand by her and visit her until the coma ended.

After that, going back to Degrassi seemed like a bad nightmare. Terri's dad wanted to pretend like none of it happened so they never spoke of it again. As a way to put her in a bubble and safe guard her from forming relationships of other boys "like Rick," he sent her to an all-girls high school.

Playing "catch up" and working hard in school didn't pay off. Terri found herself no closer to graduating on time. It just could not be done. Now, a graduee of a non-Degrassi school, Mr. Macgregor had decided that pre-college was exactly what Terri needed. As if that would make her change her mind.

Terri had a career already, in modeling. She had no yearning to listen to hours upon hours of boring lectures and kiss up to bitter loser professors who thrived on deferring the dreams of young, capable students. Her attending pre-college made dad feel a little better, so she did it. It wasn't like it meant anything, but before she left, Terri had some unfinished business.

"And now the Class of 2005!" Principal Hatzilakos. Terri cheered along with everyone else, but noticed that many people that should've been up there were not. There was no Terri, no Rick, no Jimmy, no Craig, and no … Spinner.

"Woo!" The crowd cheered in celebration as Terri scanned the place for the other missing seniors.

"Terri?" She felt someone hug her with such intensity that Terri thought that she being had been tackled.

"That's me." She smiled happily to find herself face to face with Ashley Kerwin. "Why aren't you up there?"

" London called."

"Wow. London?" Terri kept smiling even though she felt so left out. Her once best friend forever had lived out the country and she hadn't heard a word of it.

"Didn't you know? I sent letters." Ashley explained as Terri started to get it. Her dad was interfering with her life again.

"Sure. The letters." She nodded absent-mindedly. "Where is everyone else?"

"Around. Do you want me to--"

"No. I see someone now." Terri had already turned her attention to Spinner Mason who was making his way to the other graduating students. Probably Paige, Terri thought with a small frown. Completely sidetracked from her conversation with Ashley, Terri walked away abruptly. "Spin!"

The two ran to embrace one another. "What are you … when did you …"

"A while ago. My dad sent me to a boarding school on scholarship." Terri explained as the two walked together slowly. "I have no idea what's happened since … you know."

"I'm really sorry about that."

"It wasn't your fault. It was Paige's fault. She made him feel like an outcast. Speaking of Rick, why isn't he up there too? Did he transfer after the accident?" She wondered innocently, revealing that she knew nothing of the school shooting.

"Ter." Spinner sighed. "You don't know this but … Rick went psycho crazy on everyone. He shot Jimmy and then went to shoot Emma, but … Sean stepped in. There was a gun fight and … he didn't make it." Spinner looked at Terri concerned as she managed not to cry.

"That doesn't sound like him. He would never hurt anyone on purpose. I don't understand it." Terri searched her brain for something that made sense, but nothing did. This entire situation was like something out of a Lifetime movie.

"He wanted revenge." Spinner sighed. "Jay and I played this cruel joke on him and everyone at Degrassi hated him. He just snapped."

"So you're saying this is your fault?" Terri wondered as Spinner prepared to lose another friend. "Chill. It's not. It's Paige's. If she had never treated Rick like she did, I wouldn't have been in my coma and no one would've been shot."

"But Ter, he was a--"


Faking her own death was surprisingly … easy. It was all Lana could to do have a normal life back, her own life. She had been married to one of the richest men on earth, which just meant that he was too powerful and had to have things his way.

In other words, Lana Lang had become another pawn to Lex Luthor. He used his influence to trick her into staying until the were bound in marriage. By the time she found out the truth about the faked pregnancy and how wrong she was about Clark, it was too late.

Lana could feel some of her happiness float away as she walked through this breezy town. This was how she had been spending the last few weeks of her life, since living in Kansas again was out of the question. Instead, she had come across an opportunity that would allow her to live her own life—college.


"As selfish as this is. I want my own life Liz. I don't fit into this world." Maria sighed with tears brimming in her eyes. "Now you're making me cry."

"Because you know all the stuff you just said wasn't true. I love you Maria. We all do. You're just as much a part of this Roswell experience as the rest of us." Liz hugged me closely.

"You have the gift of premonition and Kyle can burn things with his mind. I'm the only human one left. I'm the one who doesn't belong." Maria kept hugging her friend. "You can see the future Liz … you know what I'm going to do before I do it."

"People make choices. You always have a choice. You can stay."

"You should stay." Isabel responded as Max nodded from afar.

"I don't think I can." Maria sighed. "And what do you say Mikey G? Should I stay or go?"

"Do whatever you want." He shrugged nonchalantly.

"See your attitude…. That, right there won't ever change. I never know how much you care about me or hate me because you never show it. How am I supposed to commit myself to someone who doesn't seem to care anymore?"

"Then go! Stop following us around … everything you said, you're right about it. You're the odd man out. You don't belong. If you want a normal life now is the time to take it. If you don't, you'll always wonder…"

"Fine. Mr. Guerin has spoken." Maria gave in sadly. She gave everyone a hug, but when she looked around for Michael, he was already gone.

"Don't take it to heart Maria. He's really bad with goodbyes." Isabel tried to assure her, but all Maria felt was abandonment.

"I know. You guys go ahead. And if you ever want to get into one of my dreams, Isabel, or my thoughts … I won't mind as long as you keep me updated." Maria tried to keep her voice steady.

This was the right thing to do. She couldn't just follow some alien boy around. She was too young and inexperienced and … confused.

Maria watched the group ride off into the distance as she walked towards the old Camry parked a few feet from the field. She needed to hurry. It was getting darker by the minute and if Maria jus stood there, she would turn back around. And turning back around meant regretting it.

As Maria reached her car, she slammed the door behind her and locked it. Finally, she had the solitude she needed … to cry. Before she could recount the details in her mind, a wet tear hit the car seat. And then another until there was a puddle, the size of a quarter, on the seat.

"Crying like a baby already?" Maria nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard another voice in the car with her.

"Mikey G. What are you doing here?" She rushed to wipe away her tears, but he intercepted and did it for her.

"I got a clue, like you said, and I want to say … you're going to make me say this, aren't you?"

"Yeah. Say it."

"I don't want you to do something stupid, like stay with us, if you want something else. Me loving you and no reason--"

"You love me Michael?"

"Now, you're making me forget my point." Michael sighed.

"Shouldn't you be getting back to the group?"

"I will, but I want to stay with you … for a while." He promised reaching for Maria longingly. Even with their futures so uncertain, and the pit in her stomach that was telling her it was over, they both still loved each other.


Anna Taggaro sat back in her seat, bored with school. The teacher continued with her boring lesson as Anna pretended like she was listening. It was the last day of school and she was still being lectured. But Anna's mind was on more important things like this whole … gay-bi thing.

She had thought about it a lot, especially since her family had moved to Tree Hill, North Carolina to escape the rumors. Only they were more like truths. Anna could just see her brother's face as she told him the truth—how she misread the signals and came onto some girl who was completely not into her, or any girls for that matter. Then came the harassment at school and then the big move.

Anna sighed to herself. It made things more difficult in her life, knowing that there was something wrong with her. It made her so angry that she couldn't be like other girls with boyfriend problems. She had boy and girl drama, but at least Anna's mom had decided against returning to their old school.

Felix didn't even complain about it this time, but told her not to "ruin things this time." Talk about having a supportive brother.

"Class is over Anna." Ms. Lenning informed her as she forced a nervous smile.

"I apologize Ms. Lenning. My mind has been running away with me so I hope I haven't offended you." Anna responded charmingly.

"Oh dear. I know what the last day of school is like. Chaos!" Ms. Lenning exclaimed suddenly. "Just enjoy your last few periods, will you. At least you showed up."

Anna nodded and smiled. As soon as she reached the hallway, she dropped the act. Why had she come to school today anyway?

"Hey." Aaron breathed as he sat back, relaxed against the wall.

"Hi." Anna smiled shyly. "Is today the day you're going to tell me the real reason why you transferred away from Westerly Prep?"

"I'll let you use your imagination." Aaron watched Anna intently as she tried to remain confident, but it was hard when she knew that he was looking at her.

"I still can't think of a logical explanation." Anna shot back lamely as the two of them walked closer to each other until their hands were practically touching. The two of them had known each other since middle school and talked to each other all the time, but their relationship never went farther than this.

"Incoming!" Felix Taggarro yelled, tossing a football at one of his buddies down the hall, but hitting Aaron instead and interrupting the moment.

"You idiot!" Anna yelled, touching Aaron's arm and making sure he was okay.

"I'm good, but … I'd better go." He gave Anna a once over before leaving her to deal with her older brother.

"Why do you always do that?" Anna sighed. "You know I like him."

"Really because I thought you were still into girls."

"Grow up Felix."

"Make up your mind Anna."


(A/N: I know that it's long, but I wanted to do a small introduction with all the characters. Review so I know what you like/dislike. –NL)