So, this is the first story I've written in a LONG time. I was actually sitting in my room on my laptop trying to find something to write about, and I heard this song… a song I'd heard a million times before, and I went on this whole thought train that led me here… writing about Ryan grieving over Marissa after she died. I too grieved after she died :P Anyways, here it is. Hope you like it. Reviews are appreciated. D

Oh yes, I don't own and of the characters, the show The O.C.…if I did, Marissa would not have died, and I would squish Taylor's head off!! ., nor do I own this song.

From Ryan's POV

I sit here in my hell hole, I call home, listening to the radio, trying to drown out the world, wondering just how it is I got here. And then I hear this song… and I can't help but remember her, and that night… I tried to throw out the pictures, and the keepsakes… I went back out to the dumpster in less than an hour. They're all I have left. My memories are all the keep her alive.

Oh where, oh where can my baby be?The Lord took her away from me

She's gone to heaven so I got to be good

So I can see me baby when I leave this world

I want to kill Volchok. I want him dead. He took her from me. He took the only girl I've ever truly loved away. If it wasn't for him, Marissa and I would still be together. We would be happy, I would be happy. But then… maybe it's my fault…? What if I hadn't been driving? What if I'd pulled over like Marissa asked?

We were out on a date in my daddy's car

We hadn't driven very far.

There in the road, straight ahead,

A car was stalled, the engine was dead.

I couldn't stop so I swerved to the right.

I'll never forget the sound that night.

The screaming tires, the busting glass,

The painful scream that I heard last.

Oh where, oh where can my baby be?The Lord took her away from me

She's gone to heaven so I got to be good

So I can see me baby when I leave this world

I didn't pull over, I should've but I didn't. And we crashed… we went over a bluff…even though it only lasted a few moments, it felt like forever. My whole body was being jarred and shaken… I couldn't protect her in those moments. Glass breaking… the car being torn to pieces… Damn Volchok!

When I woke up the rain was pouring down

here were people standing all around

Something warm flowing through my eyes

But somehow I found my baby that night

I lifted her head, she looked at my and said

Hold me darling just a little while

I held her close, I kissed her our last kiss

I found the love that I knew I have missed

Well now she's gone, even though I hold her tight

I lost my love, my life that night

I should've pulled over… I should've beaten the hell out of Volchock when I had the chance. I should've never ended it with Marissa period. I should've been there for her when Johnny died. I never should've gotten involved with Sadie. I should've called for help… but it was so hard to say no when she asked me to stay… But I stayed. I stayed with her, and held her while she died. I stayed because she asked me too. I stayed just so I could watch her go.

Oh where, oh where can my baby be?The Lord took her away from me

She's gone to heaven so I got to be good

So I can see me baby when I leave this world

And now, I'm going to another cage fight. I don't fight because I enjoy it. I almost feel guilty, because Marissa hated it when I fought… but… I fight so that I can keep the demons at bay. What I'm hoping for is the one day, that one of these guys hit me so hard… I don't get up. That way I can finally see her again. Is today that day?

Note The lyrics used in this work is a song called 'Last Kiss' originally performed by Wayne Cochran & the C.C. Riders, but also covered by Pearl Jam this is the version that inspired me, J. Frank Wilson and The Cavaliers.