Itami found the blue skies welcoming. He returned the salutes given him by the patrolling sentries and nodded at those who were out on their morning jog. He had asked to complete his tour in this foreign land that he was beginning to call home and the higher-ups were at least willing to grant his request.

"Captain," a young private saluted as he occupied a small table in one of the tents.

"At ease."

The soldier—who looked a lot like a younger version of himself—returned to his chair which was surprisingly not too far. Compared to him, he was combat ready. Itami adjusted his beret and leaned back to read the letters from home. No internet here.

Itami heard a faint beeping noise and turned his head to see the soldier angrily muttering at his phone. "No signal reception," he crowed.

The younger man straightened himself. "I guess that is so, captain."

Itami sighed. "At ease. Come on. I'm tired of getting the stiffs from you guys."

The private laughed. "Thank you, sir."

"How long have been stationed here?"

"Since Alnus Hill."

Itami raised his brow. Alnus Hill? He didn't seem to remember him there. Then again, it was hard to remember most of anything at all given the quick succession of events over the past year. There were still skirmishes and still more political intrigue but at least the SDF was ever more welcome in the lands of the Empire.

"You were with the relief team, weren't you?"

"Came in to cover for you guys, remember? Running logistics, resupply and all that."

"So you were with us. Here now, gone later, huh."

"Been there and to a lot of places. Seen my share of things I'd never want to think about right now." The private sounded tired but he still kept up his mien. "To be honest, captain, I didn't sign up for this."

"Oh? What did you sign up for?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, sir. To be able to help, I guess?"

"You're helping."

"By sitting here?" The man laughed. "I'm waiting for orders to deploy, sir. I've been waiting since last week."

"It's part of it," Itami replied with a smile. "You'll get used to it. It's part of the service."

"Is this what you were expecting, captain?"

"No. Not at all. There were ups and downs and a lot of things I'm not really proud of. But I'm glad to have been a part of it."

The private looked confused. "You don't regret anything?"

Itami shook his head. "I do. I have regrets. I have many regrets." He sighed and the smile momentarily disappeared from his face, replaced by a weak grin that he flashed to the outside. "I still feel guilty for all the casualties we inflicted. It just feels like...overkill."

"But that's part of the job, isn't it?"

A soft laugh. "That is true. You suck it up and march forward."

"Is that how you take to all the dead, captain?" The private stiffened at Itami's gaze. "I mean no offense, sir."

The captain nodded. "The tally can go all the way up to a hundred thousand. It's disturbing. But you don't see the men underneath the uniforms—or in this case, the plate and mail. All you see is just the armor. Shapes with swords on horses. Shapes that will kill you if you don't kill them." He saw the private was captivated and continued. "It was an active engagement. We were skirting war and it was fair game at the time."

"Seems like it still is."

"You just follow orders, private. That's what I did."

"And get used to feeling guilty, huh," the private added somberly. "You don't get nightmares from that, sir? PTSD?"

"You get used to it," he replied quietly, eyes skimming over the letters.

"Even all the blood, the dead, and the mess that you know you've caused?"

"Yep."'

"It's part of the job, huh, captain?"

Itami silently agreed.


ORIGINALLY DRAFTED: March 4, 2017

LAST EDITED: March 4, 2017

UPLOADED: March 4, 2017


NOTE: Hi. I'm not eager to jump into the fandom but this series has piqued my interest. I wrote this up while waiting for my lunch to boil. Hope you like it. Let me know what you think of it.