A Way to Cure Boredom
SaiSaku. Crackfic. During long missions, there are bound to be lapses of boredom and silence. Sakura finds a way to remedy this: sex in words.


"I'm wearing, uh...a black bra...lacy...and matching black panties. What about you?"

"My jounin-uniform and black boxers. What's next?"

"Sexy," Sakura deadpanned, leaning back against a tree and sighed. She lowered the mic embedded in the collar of her vest, and stared up at the night sky, feeling miserable and downright dirty. Where were Kakashi-sensei and Naruto? she wondered vaguely. Did they manage to catch their culprit?

"I don't understand the concept behind this game," Sai's voice croaked through her earpiece after awhile. "Why do we have to tell each other what we're wearing? Isn't the point to have go straight into the sex?"

"It's called foreplay," Sakura explained as calmly as she could, picking out the bugs in her hair. "It's vital to this 'game' we're playing. You have to use your imagination. How else are you going to get excited?"

Sai pondered that, and Sakura waited for the blunt comment. When it didn't come, Sakura sighed, feeling slightly stupid and said, "Sai, we don't have to do this. Let's just keep on the look-out."

"Why can't I just go over to where you're at?" Sai asked instead, ignoring her comment. "It'd make everything easier, and we wouldn't have to tell each other what we're wearing."

"Oh yes," Sakura said sarcastically, running her dirty fingers through her hair impatiently. "And get caught by our target, or worse, Kakashi-sensei and Naruto. You should definitely come over here. Just drop it."

"It wouldn't be the first time, Ugly," Sai pointed out, all too cheerfully. "If I recall correctly-"

"And you don't," Sakura snapped, blushing all over.

"-we were in a similar situation, and we got caught by Sabaku no Gaara," Sai finished, and Sakura heard a twig snap from the other side. "I'm coming over to where you're at, so sit still."

"No, stay there," Sakura protested vehemently, looking around quickly. "We're not doing this during a mission, so just-"

"If you have the time to be whispering dirty words through a mic, then I think you have the time to bend over," Sai said bluntly, suddenly appearing in front of her with his trademark smile. Sakura scowled at him, clenching her fists dangerously, and Sai pulled her roughly by the neck and planted a firm kiss on her snarling mouth.

"If we get caught," Sakura warned when they pulled away, though her unspoken threat was laced with sighs of relief and contentment. She arched her neck backwards, allowing better access for him to kiss her throat.

"You'll kill me," Sai finished absently, and wormed a finger underneath the waistband of her shorts. "I know. Now let's see those black panties..."


AN: Mostly dialogue. Thoughts? :)