The idea came out of nowhere. The game isn't real, so don't ask me how to play. I just thought you all might enjoy a little silliness :)
Disclaimer: The characters in this story belong to J.K. Rowling, as does the setting and anything else but the plot.


There were twelve of them, clustered around a small, circular wooden table. Their wands were absent from the room, a rule that had been enacted years ago, when the group had just started gathering, before the children joined in, back when there was still a fifty percent chance someone would get hexed that evening.

The witches and Wizards present were as followed:

Fifty-year-old Harry Potter, no longer the young Auror, but instead the head of Magical Law Enforcement, had the head of the table.

His wife Ginny sat at his left, long since retired from the Holyhead Harpies.

Sitting to Harry's right was similarly old Ronald Weasley, who until recently seemed to think he could be a field Auror despite his advancing age. He'd begrudgingly accepted a desk job at the order of his wife.

Speaking of which, Minister of Magic Hermione Granger, the first muggle-born witch to ever hold the position, sat at Ron's other flank.

To her right, her daughter Rose, twenty four years old, a fairly recent addition to the group, considering that she'd only joined three years prior. She picked up on the rules of the game quickly, but given that the group had been meeting for over twenty five years before she ever joined, she had some trouble understanding the social parts of the game.

To Rose's right, her cousin James rested. He took to the game in the opposite manner; though the rules seemed to escape him early on, the part about messing with people he seemed to excel at.

Next around the table was Albus Potter, who joined at the insistence of his older brother. He seemed to get a lot of lucky hands at first, but it was quickly revealed that the young man, as the only Potter ever to have been sorted into Slytherin, was a master at bluffing.

Here's where things get a little bit weird.

Immediately to the right of Albus was Scorpius Malfoy.

His presence was requested by Albus and Rose, and the rest of the group had no objections, since his father, Draco Malfoy, had started the group nearly thirty years prior at his wife's insistence. They all owed him for one reason or another; Harry and Ron for saving their lives in the line of duty, Hermione for his contributions to her campaign, and Ginny for, well, saving Harry's life in the line of duty. Not that they objected anyway; The Malfoy family was always welcome in the homes of the Potters and the Weasleys.

Told you it'd be getting weird.

Immediately next to Draco was Astoria Malfoy, who had organized the weekly gatherings nearly thirty years prior in the first place.

To her right was Luna Longbottom, who was somehow amazing at the game, despite appearing to be not paying attention half of the time.

And finally, sitting in between his wife and Harry's was Neville Longbottom, who was just terrible at the game, but got lucky just enough to keep him from quitting. Not that he'd ever consider quitting anyway, since the weekly gatherings were the only times he got to see his old friends.

The room itself was the basement of 12 Grimmauld Place. It was lit by a single light, a lantern hung directly above the center of the table. The older eight of them had begun gathering here weekly for over a quarter century, trading stories and losing money.

The colorful, enchanted plastic coins had been evenly distributed once more, and the decks had been placed in front of the dealer, Harry Potter.

"Deal, Potter."

Harry's hands, old and wrinkly but nimble just the same, began to shuffle the decks.

"We've been friends for thirty years, Draco. When are you going to stop calling me Potter?"

The blonde just smirked back.

The cards were dealt evenly, five to a person. The first bets were placed.

"So, Rose," began Ginny. "How's St. Mungo's?"

James rose, throwing two more chips in. Neville folded. Everyone else matched the young wizard's bet.

"Wonderful. The most rewarding experience you could imagine. Saving lives is just incredible." Despite the polite smile, it was clear she was attempting to sound happy with her job. And failing.

"That bad, huh?" asked Hermione, bearing a sad, sympathetic smile to her daughter.

Albus traded his first two cards in. His face betrayed no emotion. Luna traded two in as well. Her face betrayed every emotion at once.

Scorpius interrupted Rose's half-hearted reply. "She hates it, but she's too stubborn to admit she made a mistake. Somebody please get her out of there." If Rose had had her wand, she would've hexed him for that.

It was for precisely that reason that wands were banned at the table.

Ron pushed his entire pot in, a wicked grin plastered on his face. He pulled a plastic spoon from his pocket and slapped it on top of the chips.

Had anyone else done this, it would've elicited a chorus of "oooohhh"s from the table. However, Ronald Weasley was not known for making smart wagers.

Rose folded anyway, rising. She made an excuse about being thirsty and excused herself, ascending the staircase. Shortly before she reached the top, she yelled down, "Albus has a pair of goblins."

He groaned and folded, faceplanting on the table.

"So Neville, how's Hogwarts?" asked Astoria, attempting to break the tension.

"Yes, professor, do inform us how our wonderful old school is doing." Draco droned sarcastically.

"That's headmaster to you, Malfoy," chuckled Neville. Despite their former animosity, all present knew the two were only joking.

Ginny called her brother's bet, retrieving a wooden spoon from her pocket and placing it atop the mountain of chips beside the plastic one. A mischievous twinkle dotted her eyes. Ron gaped at her.

"The students are getting a bit difficult to handle. They've seemed to latch onto muggle technology. I'm not sure what to do with some of the stuff I confiscate, or even what some of it is."

"Give it to me," interjected Hermione. "If I can't figure out what it is, I'll at least be in a better position than you to do something about them."

"Thanks, Hermione." He smiled at the Minister.

Scorpius stood abruptly. "I HAVE AN IDEA."

Everyone turned and stared expectantly.

"Rose hates her job. You need someone to help deal with the students. Hire rose as the new charms professor."

"That's brilliant, Scorpius!" Albus rose at his side. "She got an O on her Charms O.W.L. and passed her NEWT for the same subject. She'd be the youngest professor on staff, so she could help with the students. And she could send anything what little she confiscated that she didn't understand to her mother!"

"Exactly!" chorused the Malfoy. The two high-fived.

They sat. Hermione folded. Luna whispered something into her husband's ear.

"Alright, she can have the job. But only if she wants it."

At that moment, Rose descended from the staircase.

"Rose!" they all said simultaneously.

"…yeah?" the confused witch froze on the staircase.

Neville stood, walking towards her. "How would you like to work at Hogwarts as the new Charms professor?"

Her face lit up. She tackle-hugged the man. "YES YES YES! Oh, thank you professor!"

He stumbled. Luna beamed. "It was Scorpius' idea…"

Rose dropped from Neville's arms, turning towards the blond with tears in her eyes. Scorpius stood. She tackle-hugged him next. He fell to the ground. All stood to see what happened next. To nobody's surprise, they were kissing on the floor.

Ron handed Draco a handful of Galleons, grumbling something about "stupid Malfoy and his stupid bloody son." Draco smirked in victory.

Suddenly, Luna pushed her chips into the center, retrieved a fork from her pocket and placed it atop the pile, and laid her cards down. "Six Dragons."

The table was silent for a moment. Everybody gawked at her. "What?"

Everyone erupted in shouts. Luna simply reached into the center of the table, dragging the entire mountain of chips back to her seat.

In the midst of it all, Scorpius and Rose remained snogging on the floor, the card game momentarily forgotten.


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