I'm going to hell for this, but it'll be fun getting there! XD It's weird; I get these ideas when I walk home from school! Anyhow, the first chapter is timid, but the next three (and there will only be three more) will be Primus-cursing-smut! Some of it will be cute, some creepy, some hot.
… Most the third option :3
"You're treating us to such an expensive whore house?" Starscream's optics widened in disbelief as Megatron lead them in front of a tall, silver, blue lined building. The words "The Prime Saloon" were printed over a huge sign above the door. Megatron's brow furrowed and he spun around to glare at his Second.
"Such insolence! This is a high class establishment!" he protested. Starscream just raised an optic edge, glancing to Soundwave who was shuffling about awkwardly.
"Well... what ever you wish to call it, mighty leader, it is a well know fact that this 'high class establishment' is one of the most costly of it's kind! And let's be honest here; we are not well for credits at the moment..." The seeker pointed out, checking to see if anyone was staring at them.
"Perhaps," Megatron nodded. "but as of last week, our financial crisis is a thing of the past."
"Oh?"
"You remember my grand-sire, Vector Prime, do you not?"
"Yes; he sponsored our party, correct?"
"He's dead." Starscream blinked. He and Soundwave shared a glance, then looked back at their leader. "And he left all his credits to his favourite grand-creation."
"His only grand-creation."
"Details, details! The important thing is that we are no longer bankrupt!" Megatron then paraded his way through the large, sky blue doors behind him.
"So he spends the money on a brothel..." Starscream rolled his optics and passed Soundwave, who held the door open for him.
"Credits: To do with as he pleases."
"Indeed, no matter how little it will do for our public image." They smirked at each other then resumed their spots on either side of the master.
"Optimus!" Megatron bellowed over the front desk. "It is your old friend, my dear!" A red and blue mech burst out the door at the back, panting and huffing.
"Greetings Megatron, what can I do for you?" he nodded, stepping up to the desk. Megatron smiled a little.
"My lieutenants and I have come for some entertainment. I'd like to introduce; Soundwave," he gestured to the blue mech. "And Starscream. Don't suppose you could book us in?" Optimus leaned to either side to get a good look at these lieutenants.
"Well, aren't they cute?" he chuckled. "Do either of you know how The Prime Saloon is organised?"
"Can't say we do... didn't know whorehouses could be organised!" Starscream shrugged passively, ignoring the glare Megatron pierced the air with. Optimus' optics glittered and he chuckled again.
"Spunky little thing, aren't you?" he rested his elbows on the desk, but didn't sit down. He lifted up a data pad and presented it to the two mechs; the screen was divided into four sections, all different colours. Red, yellow, green and blue.
"We are indeed very organised here, we have separate age groups for our bots and those groups are colour coded," Optimus explained, gesturing to the pad. "Red is for our youngest bots; they range from the ages of 15 orns and 19. We tend not to let lower class customers use them," he shielded his masked face as he whispered loudly to them. "they tend to be rougher."
Starscream smirked and shook his head. "Next you'll be telling me they're all numbered!"
"Silence, Starscream." Megatron growled, though Optimus just laughed.
"We don't have to, they all have names. Most of our bots have already been rejected from society and have no where else to go... they barely have anything else, why take their names from them?" Starscream blinked, not expecting such a claim. "Anyway, yellow is for our rowdy, young adult bots. We offer them to any class who think they're up to it."
"Inquiry: How many are not?" Soundwave asked.
"Most come running out with their tailpipes between their legs." Optimus winked. Soundwave openly chuckled, imagining the Stunticons performing such a display. "Well, only if the twin get their hands on them before Blaster or Tracks can." The house master shrugged. "Green is for the more mature adults, like myself. We're open for any class, but unlike our younger groups, we're a little cheaper."
"Why make yourselves cheap?" Starscream inquired. "Feel no shame?"
"Cheap as in the average price you'd expect our kind to be. We don't just sell our little ones like they were used ship parts!" Starscream tilted his head to the side; how odd that prostitutes cared so much for each other. "Finally, blue is for the elder group. They are far more experience than any of us! They're the most expensive (at their own choice, mind) and tend to be bought by higher and richer classes."
Optimus stood up straight and retracted his mask, revealing a pair of lusciously plump lips and an innocent smile. "So Megatron, the usual?"
"Indeed, just a few mega cycles if you don't mind." Megatron nodded.
"Hm," Optimus began typing at a computer to his right. "so that's... red group... 4.5 mega cycles?" The great tyrant shrugged. "4.5 mega cycles. And, your usual choice?"
"Correct, have Bumblebee waiting for me in the violet room." Optimus nodded and typed a bit more. Then sent off the Decepticon leader.
"Oh, and the rooms are coded as well; the darker the colour, the better it is."
"Violet?"
"One of the best. But the number 1 room is the black and silver." Starscream and Soundwave glanced at each other. "... Is Megatron buying?"
"He said he'd treat us..."
"I'll put it on his tab." Optimus winked. Starscream smirked, and the House master smirked back.
"Then... may I have the black and silver room?" The seeker requested.
"Sure honey. I'll give you the list and profiles of our bots for you to choose from, which colour?"
"Mm, Green. And... I'll take you." Optimus' optics widened at the same time his grin did.
"As you wish," he turned a bit. "Jazz!" he called. A black and white mech with a baby blue visor scurried in, skidding to a halt beside the desk.
"Ya rang?" he beamed cheerfully.
"Can you take Sir Starscream up to the black and silver room for me?" Jazz gaped at the mention of the room, but quickly pulled his grin back on and nodded. "I'll be there as soon as I get Sir Soundwave comfortable." Optimus gave Starscream a wink and turned to Soundwave, who suddenly shrunk on the spot. Starscream gave him a reassuring pat on the forearm, then followed Jazz to an elevator. "No need to look so shy darling; what colour would you like?"
"... Megatron: chose youngest group?"
"He always does. He's rather lovestruck with our precious little Bee." Optimus shrugged.
"Hrm... may I see the list for the yellow group?" Soundwave asked timidly. Dating was not his first priority, not after his cassettes' mother died. He felt as though he were betraying Ultrasound, sort of, but it's what Megatron wished.
"Sure honey." Optimus handed him a yellow data pad, which he promptly started scrolling through.
Sunstreaker
Age: 19 orns.
Spark status: Twin.
Speciality: Exotic dancing.
Experience: 6
"Inquiry: You have rated their experience?"
"Sure, people want to know what they're getting into!" Prime laughed. Soundwave looked back at the pad.
Sideswipe
Age: 19 orns.
Spark status: Twin.
Speciality: BDSM
Experience: 5
Blaster
Age: 20 orns.
Spark status: blank.
Speciality: musical erotica
Experience: 6
"Musical... erotica?"
"Mm, he has a built in sensor that lets him calculate what audio frequency will arouse your circuits the quickest. It's quite amazing. You interested?"
"Possibly..." All the profile photos of these bots were flattering in every way; beautiful, sexy and promiscuous. All interesting, but didn't really appeal to Soundwave. He turned to the next profile.
Angels sang.
Tracks
Age: 20 orns.
Spark status: Broken bonded.
Speciality: pole dancing.
Experience: 8
"Tracks... I would like to see Tracks..." Soundwave stared at the picture. Optimus suddenly grimaced and looked awkward.
"S-sure honey... w-what room would you like?"
"... One that smells nice?" Optimus laughed and walked around the desk, unable to help giving Soundwave and small hug.
"You're adorable, you know that?" Soundwave cringed and blushed. "Tracks is kind of picky when it comes to his clients; he doesn't usually work for Decepticons. You'll have a job seducing him..."
"... I'll take my chances." Soundwave chuckled. Optimus smiled.
"Sure honey, I'll just call him there." he typed a bit on the computer, bending over the desk. "Alright, follow me." They walked into the same elevator Starscream and Jazz had used earlier. Optimus pressed a storm blue button and the elevator was off.
