iWasn't Careful
(Mrs. Benson's POV)
Oh how could I have been so careless? Why did I do this to myself? Why did I put myself in this position? I started at the item in my hands. I know I'm not a teenage girl, I'm a woman in her 40's, but I'm still scared. I already had an almost 16 year old son, but staring at the positive pregnancy test in my hands I knew Freddie wouldn't be an only child for much longer. I wondered to myself how he'd react. Oh, he'd probably be ashamed, or embaressed, or a mixture of the 2. I won't know until I tell him. But telling him I was pregnant was the least of my worries. My biggest concern was telling him I didn't know who the father was. There were 3 possible canidates: Spencer, Lewburt and a young man I met when I went to a play at the "Hollywood Arts" school, Beck. Each story of why I slept with each one was different. Here I go...
...
The night I slept with Spencer was just another typical night. Freddie was over rehursing for iCarly. I went to go pick him up after rehursal finding out he wasn't there.
"Freddie...Freddie!...Fredward Benson!" I yelled throughout the apartment.
"He, Carly and Sam went out to dinner" The voice spooked me. I turned around to see Spencer leaning against his bedroom doorframe.
"Oh, it's just you Spencer. They went out to dinner?"
"Yeah, he was going to call you but he just told me if you came by to tell you myself."
"Oh my, what a relief. I thought maybe he was abducted or something!" Spencer chuckled.
"This is no laughing matter Spencer!" I yelled.
"I know Marissa"
"You just called me Marissa..."
"I know...I'm sorry Mrs. Benson."
"No Spencer, call me Marissa" I smiled sweetly at him. I don't know what was coming over me. It must be those Vitamin B tablets I've been taking! I don't know why but Spencer seems...different tonight.
"Ok...Marissa" he chuckled. I chuckled too. Then I walked over to him, cupping my hand around the back of his neck and kissed him softly. It was a short kiss. I pulled back.
"What was that about?" Spencer asked kinda shocked by the kiss.
"Well...Freddie and the girls will be out for a little while...I was thinking maybe we could do something...productive in the meantime" I circled my finger on his chest, pulling on one of the buttons of his shirt.
"Making a puzzle?" he asked. I chuckled.
"Oh Spencer...you're so naive."
"Mrs Ben- Marissa...I-I've never done...well you know. I'm still a..."
"Oh...so you don't want to?"
"No it's just...well are you sure about this?"
"Absolutely" I kissed him again. He knew I meant business. We stumbled backwards until we found his bed and...well you could probably tell what happened after that. I woke up the next morning next to him, the door closed and both of our clothes on the floor. Never so much in my life had I regreted doing something. Not the actual...well you know. But the urge to do it, I hated myself for that. I got dressed and snuck out before anyone could see me.
...
About a week after I slept with Spencer everything became so awkward. Everytime I saw him at Carly's apartment we awkwardly made conversation before I made some excuse to get Freddie home for another tick bath. Soon it became so awkward I just had to get away from him. Not move out of the apartment but..just move to another floor. I walked up to Lewburts office and rung the bell on the front desk.
"I'm comin'!" He yelled. I heard some shuffling before he came around.
"What do you wan- Oh...hello Marissa."
"Lewburt" I answered coldly. "I need to move to another apartment. Farthest away from the 8th floor as possible."
"What about floor 10?"
"That's fine!" I said. He held up the key. I was about the grab it but he snatched it back.
"I will give you this apartment on one condition" I groaned.
"What's your condition?" He leaned closer and whispered the most awful words ever in my ear.
"Sleep with me" I was so discusted by the idea I could barely speak. But I needed this apartment.
"Fine" I mumbled. He dragged me into the back of his office where he had an air matress and it all began there...After we were done I felt so dirty. No only was this place totally discusting but...I felt so dirty for stooping so low as to sleep with Lewburt just to get away from Spencer after sleeping with him. But I couldn't escape from all this now. I had to get out of here. Not move out, just go out for a night. Let my mind clear up.
...
The next day there was a play at a school in Hollywood called "Hamlet". Yes, I was willing to drive 900 miles to Hollywood just to get away. I dropped Freddie off at the Puckett's (since I wasn't going to even consider letting him stay with Spencer considering what happened) and drove. The 900 mile drive really cleared my mind. I got to the school, finally, and went inside.
After the play was done I stuck around to talk to some of the actors who were in it. The main actor, who played Hamlet was sitting on the side of the stage drinking a bottle of water.
"Hello" I introduced myself. "Marissa Benson, I loved your performance tonight!" I shook the young mans hand.
"Thanks" he smiled shaking my hand back. "I'm Beck Oliver by the way" I giggled. His hand was so soft. We talked a while about the play, then we got into pretty deep conversartions about life and what happened to my husband, Leonard, who died a few years back. Then I told him about Freddie.
"Wait...Freddie Benson? As in...iCarly's Freddie Benson?" he asked.
"Yeah, do you watch iCarly"
"All the time! My favorite webshow ever. And you're his mother?"
"Yes"
"Wow...awesome. Don't you guys live in Seattle?"
"Yeah, I drove all the way down here just to see this play."
"Wow, you must be a big fan then?" I giggled.
"Guess I am"
"Are you driving back tonight?"
"I was but...it's too dark now. I'm probably just going to rent a hotel for the night."
"Hey why don't you stay at my trailer tonight?"
"Really?"
"Yeah, there's room for 2" he drove my car to a small trailer in front of a house. He opened the door and let me inside. It was very different, but I liked different.
"Like the digs?" he asked.
"Absolutely" I smiled. I heard him walk into the bathroom and he came out in his pajamas, well really just his boxers. I couldn't help but stare. The young girl inside of me was taking over.
"Oh I'm sorry! I completely forgot I had company. Would you like me to put something else on?"
"No it's fine, whatever you're comfortable with. Infact I...kinda like it" I laughed and blushed. He came over and kissed me softly.
"What was that for?" I asked. I wasn't mad or anything, it just took me by suprise.
"I got an urge..." he whipered. I got instantly turned on. I kissed him roughly and he kissed back. The trailer was small but we found the couch right next to the kitchen and well that's how it happened...
It was morning. I woke up and got dressed feeling...new. I didn't feel dirty or wrong this time. It felt...almost right. I got into the car and drove back to Seattle with the biggest smile on my face.
...
Sadly the smile couldn't stay. Now it's 6 weeks later. The test in my hands proved that for sure. I had cried for 2 hours after seeing the little +. I heard the doorknob twist and composed myself. Still on the 8th floor (I didn't get the room because Lewburt had already rented it out. I could strangle him for that) and Freddie walked in, taking off his shoes and hanging up his backpack.
"Hey mom!" He kissed my head and went over to the kitchen.
"How was school honey?" I asked trying to sound as normal as possible.
"It was...ok I guess. Sam stuck some squirtable cheese in Mr. Howards pants, that was kind of funny" He chuckled getting a granola bar out of the covert.
"Oh...that's nice dear" I said emotionless. He came over and I quickly got up.
"What's wrong mom?"
"Nothing dear...go check yourself for ticks or any other type of bugs!"
"Mom!" He grabbed my shoulders and the pregnancy test I held behind my back fell. I tried to kick it under the couch with my foot but he saw it before I had the chance. I froze. He went over and picked it up, reading it.
"Why are you hiding a positive pregnancy test...mom?" He asked. I gulped.
"Mom...please tell me...you're not."
"I am" I whispered. I expected him to explode with rage but instead he layed the test on the coffee table and fainted.
"Freddie!"
...
Freddie took a pretty hard fall. There was blood on the floor from when he hit his head. It wasn't bad, luckily I had my first-aid kit and fixed it all up. There was a bandage and medical tape on the back of his head now. He finally woke up about 20 minutes later.
"Freddie...are you mad?"
"No mom...I'm dissapointed."
"I'm sorry I...I just...I haven't been myself ever since the accident...with your dad" I was tearing up. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my cheek and locked me into a hug. He always knew what to do. He was the best son a mother could ever ask for.
"So...who's the father?" he asked. The dreaded question was asked.
"I...don't know...for sure."
"How could you not know!" He yelled getting up.
"I don't know Freddie! I slept with 3 guys!" I yelled.
"Whoa whoa whoa! 3 guys! WHO!" I sighed.
"Spencer, Lewburt and a young man named Beck"
"Mom, do you realize what you've done! You made love with my best friends brother. This makes me and Carly possible related! Which is...gross! We've kissed before! And Lewburt...I don't even wanna ask! And Beck...Beck Oliver? That actor in Hollywood...mom he's not even 18!" He got it all out. Then he started pacing and running his hands through his hair.
"But none of that matters" He sat back down. "As long as you...want this baby. I'll be it's big brother. I'll be here for you. I promise" He hugged me again and I hugged back.
"Thank you Freddie" I cried into his shoulder. He stroked my back until I calmed down. I knew Freddie would be there...no matter what happened.
