No Comfort in Nothing

AN: I wrote this to sort through my feelings about Robin's death. Be warned, this is angst.

There was a lot of noise in Granny's, but it was just obnoxious buzzing to Regina as she sat in her booth and stared off into space. The only thing anchoring her down was the little boy who had stopped crying and was now half asleep in her lap.

"Regina?" his little voice spoke up softly.

"Yes sweetheart?" she asked in a breathy voice, as she was afraid she would cry if she talked.

"Is my Papa really in heaven now? Like my Mama?" Roland whispered to her, tears in his eyes as he looked up at her, from his seat in her lap.

The question made her still, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Zelena shift uncomfortably on the other side of the booth, baby Robin still sleeping in her arms.

All she and Zelena had told Robin's men, and the rest of their family, was that Hades had murdered Robin. They hadn't told them what the crystal actually did. While performing Robin's last rites and his funeral service, his friend Friar Tuck had indeed spoken of the afterlife. Regina had let him, not wanting to talk about what had really been done to him.

And now the fact was staring at her from the face of his orphaned child, a child who would never see his father again, even in an afterlife.

She tried to keep her breathing steady and not let more tears form. She refused to break down in front of all these people, even if they were all sympathetic towards her right now.

"Your Papa was a hero, Roland. And more importantly, he was a good man," Regina said slowly. "Didn't Friar Tuck tell you he would go to heaven?"

Roland nodded.

"So, in heaven I'll see him again?"

Oh lord, now he'd said it. She could feel her eyes starting to well up and looked away, but managed a nod. Regina didn't like lying to him, but what was the point in telling him the truth now? It would only hurt him more than he already was.

"I believe you will," Regina said, trying to will herself to believe it as well. There was a part of her that really wanted Hades to have been lying to frighten them, or have just been plain wrong. But she had seen the pages, and it seemed like it was true.

Roland gave a soft smile and snuggled with her again. Regina went back to sitting in silence until the child fell asleep. Little John and Friar Tuck eventually collected him to take him back to camp with them. Part of her really wanted him to stay with her, but knew he saw Robin's men as family too, so she didn't fight them about it, at least not tonight.

"Will you ever tell them?" Zelena asked as they were on their way out later.

"Do they need to know?" Regina asked. "I wish I didn't know."

"I suppose you're right," Zelena said.

"There's no hope," Regina said, finally letting her tears start to fall now that everyone else was away from him. "No comfort I can give him except the idea that his father is in a better place and he might just see him again someday."

Her sister took her hand and squeezed it gently.

"What hope, or comfort is there, knowing that he just disappeared from existence?" Regina said, more openly crying now. "There is no comfort in nothing. And that's all Robin gets for loving me and wanting to protect me. Nothing. So, I'll give Roland what little comfort I can for now, even if it's not the truth. Because I wish it were true. Robin deserved better, and so do his children."

Zelena nodded, and they continued walking in silence. There was nothing else to say for now.