DISCLAIMER: This story was written before the announcement of Battle for Azeroth. As such, for the purpose of this story, BFA and everything after it is considered non-canon, it never happened. This story is a parody of Warcraft. Therefore, it falls under fair use of Blizzard's copyright and you also shouldn't take it too seriously. Enjoy LOL!

"From the earth, he draws strength. Our earth. Our strength." - Il'gynoth, Heart of Corruption

Deep within the crust of Azeroth...

"Gentlemen, do you know why I called this meeting?" N'Zoth asked.
"Hey! You do know I'm actually a girl! Right? Have you come to apologize for getting it wrong again?" Yogg-Saron replied very angrily and constantly shifting between hi... I mean... her grotesque form and Sara the vrykul.
"Because your heart is failing? You are both overweight! Even by Old God standards! Yes, you are very fat indeed!" C'Thun said.
"No, you disrespectful heathens! I want you both to join me in session of scriptural study. Hear the wise words of our Void Lords and be humbled in horror! Cast away any infidelic thoughts and be reminded of your mission here on Azeroth. Behold... the Twilight Canticle!"

The unholy tome hovered glowing as the other two Old Gods looked confused.

"Yeah... this was like, really not necessary. We get it dude, we're here to corrupt stuff. Plus, it's fun trolling the mortals so I don't need any extra motivation," Yogg replied before N'Zoth could start to ramble again.
"This is a complete waste of time," C'Thun whispered to Yogg.
"I know, but keep your whispering to a minimum, we're not supposed to drive each other mad... not yet," Yogg whispered back.
"Yogg-Saron, you philistine, hold back your tongue... all of them! The Void Lords will not be mocked! You will not disrupt our communion with the Void! Is that not right, C'Thun?"
"No," C'Thun coldly replied.
"Whatever, dude..." Yogg dismissed his threats.
"For as it was in the beginning and the end, the Light's degeneration hadth knew no bounds! Where thy Light dwelteth Void hadth been usurped!" N'Zoth began rambling.
"Yawn!"
"The very idea is inconceivable to our Void Overlords! Sharing our earth? OUR strength with us? NO! The infidels can barely tolerate thine presence on Azeroth! Behold, for it is written in the 12th chapter verse 39: Thy Void cometh thee! On comets of broken spines and callous intestines swinging through the Great Dark Beyond! The flesh commenceth upon the red cliffs until the black goat bringeth forth a rise. A rise... of the Blackened Empire upon the rims of a celestial existence and the seven serpent orbitals!"
"Your speech is unintelligible," C'Thun coldly replied but N'Zoth continued his rambling.
"You will not mock the Twilight Canticle, C'Thun! Listen and obey!"
"You... are... stupid!"
"H'Toth and the infinite column of darkness stretcheth beyond sight! It is written! Behold, they will corrupt thy essence and spread miasma across your faces! On faceless wings of tyranny will the future be restoreth!"
"I agree with C'Thun, you're all talk and no action, N'Zoth, what a total loser," Yogg replied.
"Yogg, you want action? Remember subverse 4 of chapter 15, paragraph X! Are you not pleased with the power to curse flesh that our Great Masters bestoweth upon us?"
"Yeah, but I mainly used the Curse of Flesh because I always wanted to be a pretty vrykul girl and wear a pretty fur dress."
"Blasphemy!" N'Zoth yelled.
"Yogg, listen very carefully to me, you are not a girl. You are not a boy for that matter. The concept is illogical for our species."
"Blasphemy!" N'Zoth continued yelling.
"For once I can agree with N'Zoth, that was very hateful, C'Thun, you are not helping to create an inclusive space from which we can plot our takeover of Azeroth," Yogg replied.
"Blasphemy!"
"Stop!" C'Thun demanded.
"Blasphemy!" N'Zoth kept going like a broken record.

A dark voice from deeper inside the earth soon intruded on their conversation.

"Silence! All three of you! As of now, you are all under my command. You will watch and learn as I take over Azeroth."
"My Lords! You have come at last! Smite these two infidelic philistines for their defiance! The Twilight Canticle will not be blemished by these wicked scoffers!" N'Zoth exclaimed overjoyed.
"Shut up, N'Zoth. You're not a legitimate Void preacher and I'm not a Void Lord. I am Ss'Oros, and I am awake at last."
"Oh... Okay..." N'Zoth replied feeling embarrassed.
"An Old God does not simply take orders from another Old God," C'Thun remarked, "do you have... the appropriate warrant signed by the Void Tribunal itself?"

Ss'Oros showed them the warrant.

"Very well. We pledge our allegiance to you, Ss'Oros."
"Good, you have all failed far too many times, first it was failure to hold the Black Empire as instructed until backup arrived, second it was allowing the creation and flourishing of a Night Elven empire around the Well of Eternity and finally, all your major attempts to reclaim the surface in recent years have been complete disasters. Unacceptable!" Ss'Oros chastised the trio.
"What do you mean?" Yogg asked.
"Well, where should I begin? C'Thun, your plan relied entirely on a relatively small insect army gathered in a small corner of Kalimdor. Yogg-Saron, your plan to break out of that Titan prison Ulduar failed. Did you honestly believe it would be as simple as just subduing the four keepers?"
"Nonsense! My plan was flawless. But I was foiled by hateful mobs who are bigoted against Vrykul women!" Yogg responded.
"Quiet you. N'Zoth, you think of yourself as leader of the trio but you're the least competent of the Old Gods. All you ever do is rant, slack and maybe occasionally try to use a big stupid dragon to take over the world. The point I'm trying to make is that you're all short-sighted. You see the trees but you don't see the forest. You will not take over Azeroth with that attitude."
"I blame Y'Shaarj. He was the least faithful of our group and his mini-clones were useless," N'Zoth replied.
"My apologies on behalf of these two imbeciles, I did warn them to play it safe. Honest," C'Thun responded.
"Luckily for you three, though I may be technically chained deeper than any of you, my prison is much weaker and I will soon be fully free. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
"What do you mean, Lord Ss'Oros?" C'Thun asked.
"You will find out soon enough, watch and learn. Watch and learn. I have already sent them on their way and once my minions have acquired the Pillars of Creation, it is hard to imagine any force on Azeroth will be able to stop me. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ahahahaha!"
"Hmm, even the level 120 death knights with 1500 item level?" Yogg asked.
"What?"
"Nothing, Lord Ss'Oros."
"Good, shut up and let me carry out my plans. Stop talking gibberish in an attempt to sound smart. Go get me some coffee. Ha! Ha! Ha!"

There was a long pause after that maniacal laughter... Then N'Zoth spoke.

"Are you gonna free us too, Ss'Oros, once you get the pillars?"
"Perhaps if you behave yourself, little zealot... Hahaha!"