Well, it's been 5 years since I awoke in this place called Equestria, on the humble little planet called Equis, never heard of it, you say! Really! Why am I not surprised, its just from a different dimension/universe if your from Earth, if your not from Earth do not read this or I will go after you, or if I am dead haunt you. You have been warned. So its not all bad here except for the constant danger, the lack of technology, the inconsistency of technology, accepting magic is a thing, that the sun and moon are raised and lowered by, lack of a better word, deities, Dragons also exist here, I've almost been eaten twice, if you beat my record let me know I'll bake you a batch of cookies. Griffins, minotaurs, alicorns, ponies which can be subdivided into Pegasi, Unicorns and Earth ponies, changelings (these guys are really cool given their ability to make exact copies of a creature and take its place) the only thing that gives them away is if they bleed, their blood is green not red. Also there are sentient Pandas, sheep, Goats, Donkeys, mules, cows, Zebras, Diamond dogs, Cats people things. I'm pretty sure their are others but I haven't met them yet. The world map is actually fairly close to Earth's Geography, but Equis seems to be rounder in its corners, like the tip of what we call South America is rounded off like it was eroded away almost, that brings me to the horse puns... don't get me started on the horse puns, Equestria and its colonies are the worst with places called Canterlot (capital), Vanhoover, Ponyville, Las Pegasus, Manehatten, its colonies of Germaneigh, Prance, Stalliongrad (hah couldn't ponify Russia, unfortunately they did america) North and South Amareica for the two regions, there is also the separate country Saddle Arabia, buts its mostly horses and are possibly Equestria's closest allies in the middle east region, which is mostly controlled by Diamond Dogs who constantly fight with Cat people things mentioned before, keeping that place in almost constant turmoil. I should get back to the point of this, I wanted to record my adventures down in an attempt to keep my sanity and I've heard its therapeutic, no idea if its true or not but at this point I'll give anything a try. So without further ado I give you how I got here in this sparkly land of I want to get rid of your sanity and break every law of physics at the same time.


It was late at night when I got home, my Supra rolling up the driveway and coming to a stop. I turned the ignition key to off, pulled the keys, exited the vehicle, inspecting its awesomeness one more time, I eventually turned around and walked to my door and unlocked the door and went in, like every Thursday for the past 6 years. What greeted me was a rather Spartan looking room, One chair, One couch, a coffee table, and a tv, The other rooms were equally as Spartan only having what a person absolutely needed. I headed down the hallway that connected to the living room to the kitchen, the guest room and the Master Bedroom and Bathroom. I opened the door and plopped down on the bed, it taking me into its lovely embrace of warmth and softness soon got me to close my eyes sleepily, and soon I knew no more...

A blinding light flashed across my closed eyelids with enough intensity to rouse me, sending me back into reality from a really good dream. I checked the clock on my nightstand to my right, the green numbers showing the time at 12:09 at midnight. I looked to my door the offending light came from the crack between the door and floor. Hmmm...Did I leave that light on. I thought before I heard the footsteps. Reacting quickly I pulled on some clothes, they were coming closer, I opened my closet and pulled out my Cold Steel Boar Spear, its 18 1/2 inch blade looking very impressive in the pale light, I hefted it up grabbing the shaft of it with my left hand and putting it at a resting position, the top of the shaft on my shoulder, the spears blade coming up to the side of my head, I heard the footsteps stop outside the door, I waited with bated breath. Voice came from the other side a shout down to the other rooms "Hey here's this person bedroom, if anything is valuable its probably-uggrh". He was cut off as I stabbed the spear through the door and approximately into the guy's chest. Holy shit I just killed him, now's not the time for a panic attack, your being robbed you can claim self defense, worry about it later his partners are coming. As his body hit the hard wood floor with a thud there was accompaniment of footfalls coming down the hallway. I had the sense to yank my spear free from the door. I waited until they were near and slammed the door open, it hit one of the robbers in the face and he was knocked to the floor, I dismissed him as a threat for now, I stepped into the hallway, turning towards the remaining changing guy, the spear in a two hand grip I thrust forward, the guys eyes widened and he dropped the knife, he was carrying just as the point of the spear impacted his chest, there was little resistance as the blade slid in, most likely cutting open the lungs. I turned my head away in disgust of the amount of blood in my once pristine hallway, let me tell you humans bleed a lot, faintly I recognized the sound of another lifeless body impacting the ground, I had already pulled the spear from the gaping hole in his chest almost subconsciously. Then I remembered the third guy on the floor and turned around, just to see the muzzle of a revolver in my face, the hammer came back. Shit so this is how I'm going to go...could have been worse I guess. No! I will not die! I will survive! With new found determination, I etched my facial expression into one of pure anger, the guy hesitated and I took that advantage, I thrust the spear forward its blade closing the 4ft gap in record time, the guy fired and the bullet hit my shoulder, he tried to move but instead of impacting the center of his chest it went through his arm, cutting it clean off, blood pumped out of the stub, the ugly lifeless limb fell to the ground. The guy screamed and I hit the floor, the spear landing next to me, I clutched my shoulder, I felt coldness embrace me. My thought summed it up to shock. The guy with the cut off arm ran away leaving me to my thoughts in a pool of mine and the two dead robbers blood, I looked to the once white walls now painted in red. I grabbed my spear and hauled myself shakily to my feet. I moved forward one arm clutching my wound trying to slow the bleeding, the other on my spear useing it as a walking stick to make my way down the hallway to a phone. If only that was the end of the weirdness for my night.

In a familiar tree house in the land of Equestria

"Spike!" A certain purple unicorn shouted out, finally taking her gaze off her new spell book from the castle in the Everfree to the stairs. Soon a familiar baby dragon came up them and said

"Yes, Twilight."

"Standby, I'm going to try a new spell, it will supposedly open a window into another dimension and let us see the inhabitants, you will need to take note." Spike groaned upon hearing that. Twilight activated the spell, her horn glowed in a purple aura, sweat formed on her brow in effort and this continued for a few minutes until they were awarded for their efforts, a breeze passed through the library, the shutters banged against their window panes and then all was silent.

"That's it." Spike said disappointed

"Shhh." Twilight quickly hushed him. They sat in silence expecting something, anything to happen. That's when a familiar Rainbow blur crashed through the window and into the nearby bookcase causing it to dislodge its contents and re position them on the ground

"That was disappointing, I really didn't think it would work any way. Oh and Spike." Twilight said with a hint of sadness in her tone, and then pointed to the fallen books. Spike sighed but complied and began picking them up and putting them on the shelf. Twilight went to help her friend up and find out why she crashed through the window.

Back on Earth with our slowly bleeding out Human

W.T.F were the three letters that dominated my thoughts as a swirling blue vortex took up the entirety of my hallway. I looked at it, it swirled, I blinked at it, it continued swirling. This was the only way to get to the damn phone, you stupid piece of shit wormhole thing. Shouldn't you be freaking out its not everyday a wormhole makes your hallway its home. I've killed two PEOPLE and chopped off another's arm, also was shot, I'm contributing my lack of shock to the shock of being shot and the above events. My inner voice was quick to come up with a worrying statement, Better hope that no monsters come out of it.

"Gee thanks for that." I said out loud for some reason. Always glad to help. Was its response. I brought up my spear up in a two handed grip, and slowly put the blade through it. I then tried to pull it back out but it wouldn't go it was like something had grabbed it and wouldn't let go. To make it worse it started pulling me in. Not thinking rationally I didn't let go of the spear and let it pull me in as well, struggling to get free the whole while. As soon as my hand entered the portal it felt like it was on fire. It burned as I was sucked up to where just my head and main body was still out of the swirling vortex, it engulfed my arms up to the shoulder and just the butt end of my spear was still visible. Then I relented, I just pushed the rest of the way through the wormhole not wanting to extend the misery any further. I found myself floating in gravity free environment, it was actually quite relaxing if you stopped thinking about the situation you were in, or rather I was in. I floated there for who knows how long before I felt a gentle tugging on my body, it was guiding me somewhere. Some where along the line I just stopped caring and let it do its thing. I was rapidly becoming very tired a few minutes later after the tugging had stopped. Instead of the usual dark purples, pinks and blacks of the void was another blue swirling portal. The was the last thing I saw before my vision clouded over and I embraced sleep rather gratefully. My dreams were of nothing unfortunately, but it did give my mind and body time to recuperate, so I could deal with whatever is on the other side of that portal, I just hope my spear remains undamaged and sharp as ever. I was desperately clinging to the whole robber portal thing being a dream, I wasn't sure of I could handle that as the reality, but I would if it came to that, just adapt and conquer like always, what if its like some sci-fi universe with FTL and stuff, you could get your own ship travel the galaxy. That thought left me excited and in wonder. What ever awaited me on the other side I would be ready for it.

Apparently not. I woke up tied to a table...


A/N so do you guys want 2500 word chapters, 5000 word chapters or 7500 word chapters.

Plus im doing this to better myself as a writer so I appreciate and will gladly consider all criticisms you give me. Oh, and please if you could point any mistakes out in the reviews I would also appreciate that