Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.
A/N: This was my one-shot submitted for the Fandom Fights the Floods. I posted it many years ago after the fund raiser was complete, but removed it from FF and Twilighted because of very negative troll. I'd thought to possibly expand it one day and make it into a full story. Time, work, and the beginnings of my second original fiction novel means that I won't be, so for the anniversary of my mother's death, I've decided to place it back up for readers to hopefully enjoy.
~FOREVER~
Sunlight streamed through the window, teasing the back of my eyelids as I stretched beneath the warmth of the covers and felt the aches and pains slowly ease from my body. I'd overslept. We'd had a late night, and I wasn't a teenager who could just bounce back after a few hours sleep. I reached over to grab for Edward and came up in a start when I did not find him beside me. Panic gnawed at me until I heard the music drifting softly up from downstairs. The grin that cut across my face was unavoidable. He was playing.
It was going to be a good day.
Even after years of marriage, Edward hated when I wore clothes to bed. If I tried, his hands worked tirelessly until we lay skin to skin. It was only then that he could settle down to sleep, his arms wrapped around me . . . protecting me as usual. Of course that meant I had to hurry as quickly as possible to pull on the pajamas and robe that I kept at the foot of the bed. Running a brush quickly through my hair, I heard the static electricity crackle in the air, and I imagined that I looked like I had a haystack sitting on top of my head. I was too impatient to sit down to braid it.
"Morning, ma'am," Sabrina said quietly as I passed her in the hall. "He's down in the music room," she said with a small smile. She was excited for me, and chuckled softly as I tore past her. "Bella, please be careful," she admonished as I approached the stairs.
I grimaced but slowed my pace, making sure to use the handrails as I made my way down the wide staircase. Esme had planned the entrance way to perfection when she built the house for Edward and me. I could see the sunlight shaping into beautiful prisms as it bounced of the highly polished marble tiles. The music room sat just off of the entranceway, the wall of windows overlooking the small, meticulously tended garden that would be full of freesia, roses, and strawberries come springtime. My mouth watered at the thought of the large red fruit sliced up for breakfast. I'd grown use to having fresh strawberries and would forever be grateful that my husband insisted that we have them planted in the sunny little garden. The memories of my children, and then later their spouses, stealing the fruit would always be some of my most precious ones.
When I finally reached the lower step, I carefully stepped onto the tile and walked softly over to arched entranceway. I stopped just outside the door and laid my head up against the wall listening to the beautiful melody that poured from the room.
My lullaby.
I wanted to sob at the breathtaking splendor of the notes as he weaved the intricate music. This piece of perfection with which this perfect man now serenaded me had wooed me to finally accept his marriage proposal, calmed me through the trials of my pregnancy, the battles of caring for twins, and the nights after we'd lost Carlisle and Esme. A recording helped to calm me on the nights and days that Edward was away from me . . . when I could not reach him.
I forced myself away from my leaning position, refusing to waste one precious moment by harboring sadness. He knew the moment I stepped into the room and the music ceased as he turned to me, his emerald green eyes snapping with fire.
"Bella…" He sighed and started to rise.
I held my hand out telling him to remain where he was. "Please, play. It has been awhile," I said softly, the sob I was holding in threatening to tear from my throat.
"I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"
His words transported me back to the first time we met.
~Forever~
Years earlier…
"Miss, are you lost?" a male voice asked.
"Um…yeah," I joked, realizing that I would not be able to find my way back to the floor without help. Seattle Children's Hospital was a very large facility, and for someone as directionally challenged as me, it could be a mess of interconnecting hallways that went nowhere. I turned to find a male nurse smiling at me.
"Where are you supposed to be?" he questioned with a flirty smile.
I wanted to huff at him, but figured it would be unwise if I wanted to get back to where I needed to be. "I'm the new teacher. I've only been here for about a month, and I was trying to track down a patient that had been sent here. Or at least, that's what I was told. Silly me, I should have known that they meant intensive care. Anyhow, I made it to the ER just fine before I realized the mistake. I thought I had to come back through here to get to ICU."
He smiled at the perplexed look on my face. "No, you'll actually have to go back through the ER and go in the opposite direction. C'mon, I'll show you."
It was hectic with people running from one emergency to the other, but suddenly even the normal chaos was heightened as a large man barreled out of one of the rooms just ahead of us.
"I didn't touch my child, do you understand me. She's confused. Jane, baby, tell the doctor that it wasn't me," he shouted in a harsh tone back into the room.
A police officer stepped into the hallway and the man panicked, beginning to walk quickly towards me and the male nurse. Just then, a god, in human form, stepped out of Jane's room. Tall, blond and gorgeous, Dr. Carlisle Cullen was the father half of the pair dubbed as Seattle's hottest doctors. His son, Edward, was rumored to be even more gorgeous. I remembered the first time I met Carlisle…
Carlisle walked into the room to check on the patient I was working with. After I'd managed to untie my tongue and introduce myself, he'd chuckled at the blush that stained my cheeks.
Even after embarrassing myself with my momentarily incoherent behavior, I thankfully earned his respect when I looked down at his ring finger and smiled. "Lucky lady." His face glowed and before he could say anything my mouth ran off again. "Something tells me that you are the luckier one, though."
My observation won him over. "You have no idea," he responded before pulling the chart and beginning his review of her progress. He charmed the young girl thoroughly and before he was through, she was smiling despite her pain.
After his checkup on the young girl, he'd invited me to coffee. "Purely platonic," he'd teased, sensing that I was a boundary kinda girl. My time with her was done, so after saying my goodbyes, we left together.
I'd heard the nurses talking. Almost all of them had made a play for either Carlisle or his son (whom I'd yet to meet), or both. I was not that kind of girl, but I enjoyed the time I spent talking to him. His caring nature quickly broke down my normal defenses, and in the end, he'd learned more about me than just about anyone else. I was astonished to learn that he truly had a son who was also a doctor here at the hospital. I was amazed, as he didn't look older than thirty himself. In fact, he had two children, a son and a daughter. If I was astonished at finding out his son was a doctor, I was shocked to find out that his daughter was Tanya Cullen, the world-renowned model. The woman was sex incarnate, and every man's wet dream. She'd been rumored to have had affairs with most of Hollywood's leading men, and even some of the women.
Carlisle and I had had several more coffee breaks together over the next few weeks. I was not a morning person, so I usually dragged myself into the hospital cafeteria for a morning cup of Joe before starting my instruction with the kids. After several mornings of chance encounters, he'd begun to wait on me. I was honored the morning I came in to find him sitting by an astonishingly beautiful woman, and he rose to wave me over. I knew by the look in his eyes that this was the "lucky lady."
She reminded me of the starlets of the 1950s and 1960s Hollywood. She rose gracefully and surprised me by pulling me into a hug. I patted her back awkwardly, unsure of how to react. I wasn't overly comfortable with touching or hugging people. My mother had left my father and me when I was a child, and she'd died not many years later in a car accident with her new husband. I had only vague memories of her smiling face. Charlie, my dad, had loved me tremendously but he was not a touchy-feely guy.
"My dear, you have no idea how glad I am to meet you," she murmured, to my confusion.
I shook my head at the memory as the man began running toward me, shouting his innocence. He was crazed it seemed. I froze in fear, realizing he'd pulled a knife from his pocket, and I was directly in his path.
"Bella!" I heard Carlisle scream just as the police officer went to dive at him.
I saw everything in slow motion, the man heading toward me and his intent on getting me as a hostage was clear. He, like me, seemed walking/running challenged, so he stumbled and the knife was suddenly headed toward me with accidental, but deadly, intent. Just before I would have been stabbed, an arm snaked around my waist and pulled me backwards, the books I'd been carrying falling to the floor around me. A hot flash of pain sliced through my arm, and I realized belatedly that I'd still been struck.
I closed my eyes tightly at the agony, and attempted to not breathe through my nose. The smell of blood made me sick. I know . . . ironic since I worked in a hospital, but my patients were usually on the mend, not bleeding freely. I heard a grunt behind me and felt the wall of muscle against my back jerk slightly.
"Bella, dear, can you open your eyes?" Carlisle suddenly spoke from beside me.
"Don't want to," I mumbled.
"Why?"
"The sight of blood makes me sick," I whispered, attempting not to gag at the metallic smell that I had accidentally breathed.
"Amazing," a velvet voice spoke from behind me, and I felt the vibration of his speaking at my back.
I was only a woman. Anyone would have gasped at the sound of that sexy voice. My eyes flew open and met a set of the most vivid green eyes I'd ever seen. I was lost in his gaze, my pupils dilating at the pull between us. It was almost as if we were lost in our own little world, so it took a minute for me to realize that Carlisle was calling my name.
"Bella, I need to stitch you up. Edward, you need to let Doctor Smith do the same for you."
I realized then that he too had been hit and at the same time comprehended what Carlisle had said. This was Edward . . . the Edward Cullen . . . Dr. Sex On A Stick and all the other names I'd heard him called. He was even more beautiful than he'd been described. No man should be this pretty.
"So, you're the Bella my dad has been talking about so much. If I hadn't heard that you met my mom, I'd be worried," he said in a conspiratorial voice to me.
"Your father is well aware that your mother is perfect," I teased back, barely able to form a complete thought. I burned where we touched. He smirked at me, enjoying my observation and apparent adoration for his mother.
On our way to the ER, we passed the still, silent body of our assailant lying in the hallway, already secured and covered in a white sheet by hospital security and the police. He'd fallen on his knife, and if he truly had abused his daughter, it was perfect justice in my opinion.
Carlisle was silent as he carefully stitched the crescent slice to my arm. The knife had cut me just above my wrist. As he swabbed the area with betadine, he finally spoke. "Bella, my heart nearly stopped when I saw that man heading toward you. Thank God Edward pulled you out of the way," he said gruffly.
"Is he okay?"
His blue eyes flashed to my face. For a moment he looked pensive, and then a very pleased look crossed his face. "I believe he just might be now," he answered cryptically.
My response to his less than open answer was cut short as Edward walked in. His eyes quickly found mine. I saw that his arm had been bandaged, and wondered at his own wound, but he distracted me by grabbing my free hand and bringing it to his lips.
I would never forget the words he murmured just before his lips touched my skin for the first time. "I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"
~Forever~
Present day….
"I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"
"Hush, of course I am," I responded.
He bent his head and the sunlight streaming from the windows glinted over his still unruly hair. Gone was the fiery bronze color of his youth. It had been gradually replaced over the years by a combination of silver and white. His face, though, was almost as unlined by wrinkles as the day I'd met him. Fine laugh lines feathered from the corner of his eyes and bespoke the joy Edward had found in life. He was more likely to be laughing than anything, usually tied up in mischief with his children. His green eyes were just as vibrant today as the first day I'd met him.
"How long was I gone this time?" he asked softly.
"Please, let's not focus on that," I begged. "I just want to enjoy the time I have with you." I sat down beside him on the piano bench and moved to lay my head against his shoulder.
"Bella, I need to know."
I sighed in frustration, knowing that I would lose the fight. "Okay…I'll make you a deal. I'll tell you, and that is the last mention of it. I want to enjoy the day. The last few have been cold and snowing, and it seems the sun is making an unexpected visit. I want to listen to you play and then go into the sun room to enjoy the day with you. Deal?" I offered, looking up into the face of the man I'd been blessed enough to call my husband for over sixty years.
"Acceptable," he murmured.
I paused, then. "You were unaware for almost two weeks this time," I said softly.
He hissed at the knowledge, the hand on the keys of the piano clenching into a fist. "Who has been taking care of me?" he softly asked.
"Me, of course, with help." Silly man, did he think I would do anything less?
"Bella–" he started to reprimand me.
"Stop! We made a deal. Play," I instructed, resorting to the tone of voice that only a wife or mother could master, brooking no argument and offering an unspoken promise that a lack of cooperation would be met with the direst of consequences.
His hands shook as he placed them on the keys again. As the music began to build steam as if expressing his internal turmoil at the knowledge of being out, he whispered, "I swore I'd never leave you again…"
"You didn't, my Love. You were right beside me the whole time."
~Forever~
Years earlier…
"Bella Swan, when are you going to put me out of my misery?" the god pleaded.
I heard several of the nurses and patients giggle just behind me, and I turned to glare at them.
"Go away, Edward. I can't get my job done. I have kids to teach." I took my job as the hospital teacher seriously, and having the distraction of Edward Cullen stalking me made it difficult to concentrate.
"Bell–" his voice cut off as I finally grabbed the shirt of his scrubs with one of my hands and pulled him down the hallway past the smiling faces of the nurses on the third floor. They were traitors . . . the lot of them. They had been seduced by him to help in his attempts to woo me. The whole hospital was in on it. Several wolf whistles and cat calls sounded out behind me as I pulled him abruptly into an empty room.
I turned on him in a fury, standing with my hands on my hips after I let go of his lab coat. He'd been harassing me for months now - ever since we'd shared the life and death situation of the emergency room incident. Little gifts and flowers appeared randomly in my locker. I'd found beautifully penned notes - no doctor scrawl here - in my charts, poetry and invitations to lunch and dinner. I'd turned him down innumerable times and even begged Carlisle to help me, but the senior doctor had just smiled and encouraged his son in his pursuit of me. I'd realized I would receive no help from Carlisle the day we'd discussed the blood tests.
"Bella, Edward wondered if you wanted to have a test run since the two of you came into contact with each other's blood during the incident."
I gasped. "Why, do I need to be concerned…is he…has…" Carlisle attempted to keep from smiling waiting for me to go further. "Is he promiscuous?" I finally pushed out, flames roasting my face.
"Quite the opposite, actually," Carlisle said softly with a slight smile.
"Well, if it makes him feel better, you can do mine. You won't find anything, though. I've never given blood, or had surgery, so there isn't a possibility of any complications on my end."
"Well, that isn't the only ways to contract things, Bella. You wouldn't have been worried about Edward–"
"STOP! I didn't like having this conversation with my dad, and I certainly don't relish the idea of saying this to you. That isn't an issue either."
Carlisle's face was as humorous as my dad's had been. I felt sorry for him so I cleared up his confusion. "My dad is the chief of police, and I'm his only daughter. That was enough to discourage anyone from even looking at me. I was on scholarship and work study to get my teaching degree at college, which left no time for boyfriends. That's as clear as I'm going to get with you, Carlisle Cullen," I swore out turning to leave his office.
He stopped me with his next words. "If I ever questioned my assessment skills, they have just been vindicated."
"Huh?" I questioned, totally confused.
"Nothing, Bella. You are just going to make me a fine daughter-in-law one day," he teased.
I slammed the door hard when I stormed out of the doctor's office, only to hear him chuckling as I walked away.
For now, I glared at his son. His mind-bogglingly beautiful son.
"Just go out on a date with me, that's all I'm asking," he pleaded.
"No! Edward, please just stop. Go ask any of the others out. They'd die to go to dinner with you."
"You've told me 'No' a hundred times, but you have yet to tell me why?"
"It doesn't matter."
"It does to me," he murmured.
I finally snapped. "I have no desire to be played, Edward. You can have your pick of anyone in this hospital . . . probably anyone you have ever come in contact with. I don't want to be your play toy, which is all I'd ever be. Something to distract you until the perfect woman comes along."
He actually growled at me. "What are you saying?
"Look at you…and look at me." I finally said bluntly, pointing out his beauty and my plainness.
"You are beautiful," he swore, saying the words gruffly, jerking his chin up as he gazed into my eyes. His eyes widened significantly, as he leaned toward me. I panicked, realizing he wanted to kiss me and backed away from him.
My rejection hurt him, and he straightened up. "I've never asked anyone out before, Bella. You were my first. I won't bother you again." He turned with grace and left the room quickly. I was astonished at his words.
I heard the rumors and noted the sidelong glances from others on the hospital staff through the next week. Edward was sullen and quiet; not his normal self, it would seem. He avoided me when I came by the ER, and I realized I missed his presence. Carlisle still met me for coffee, but it was with a much subdued manner.
"Can you tell me what is wrong with my son?" he finally asked one morning as we sat at the cafeteria table, staring down into his coffee.
"Absolutely nothing." The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them.
"Then why did you break his heart?"
I scoffed, only to turn to see him looking at me seriously. "I don't have that kind of power over him."
"Yes, you do. You implied that he was vain and shallow, and that he is incapable of seeing the beauty in front of him. You crushed his spirit."
"I am not really Edward's caliber, Carlisle."
"He was right. You really do not see yourself very clearly."
Carlisle's words haunted me as I went home that evening to my empty apartment. Had I really been that bad? I'd insulted him, I realized. More than that, I'd judged him and done it harshly.
I sought him out the next morning to apologize, but I could not find him. He was avoiding me, I realized. I'd finally done what I'd been trying to do all along. I'd made him leave me.
That evening, I was startled from my remorseful thoughts and intermittent weeping spells by a knock on my door. I peeked through the peep hole. Untidy bronze hair met my eyes. I jerked the door open in astonishment.
"Edward?"
He looked at me as he stood in the doorway and held up a single crimson red rose to me. "I decided I'd given up too easy. You're mine, Isabella Swan. I swear I won't ever leave you again," he said with fire in his eyes.
I sobbed, putting the back of my hand to my lips to stifle the noise.
That was the beginning of the rest of my life.
A month later…
"Close your eyes." He held a scarf in one hand and a flashlight in the other.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm taking you somewhere special, but I don't want you to see it until we get there."
He was being dramatic, but what did I care. After securing the scarf around my eyes, he held my hand, which is all that mattered. After many minutes of walking and stumbling away from his car into the woods, he finally stopped.
"Now, you can open your eyes," he whisphered, his breath rushing past my ear and making me shiver.
It was a warm spring night, and I heard the sounds of crickets and frogs as they filled the air with their music. When the scarf fell from my eyes, I gasped. We were in the middle of a meadow. A blanket lay on the ground not far from us. It was surrounded by a multitude of unlit candles. A basket sat in the middle of it.
"How…?" I croaked out.
"My mom and dad, they truly love you."
I shook my head in disbelief, but marveled at the picnic basket Esme had packed for us. It even included a square Zippo lighter to light the candles. That night under the clear sky filled with stars, Edward told me he loved me. That he'd loved me since the first moment of setting his eyes on me in the hallway at the hospital. I was scared . . . amazed . . . lost . . . and humbled. The words tore from my lips as well, for he'd worn my defenses down during the time he'd courted me.
Fire raced through me as he touched his lips to mine the first time. I saw stars as he laid me down softly on the blanket and worshiped me. I groaned in disappointment when he broke away.
"One day, when we're old and grey, I want to be able to lie in this exact spot and look up at the sky with you. I want to always remember everything of our time together. And when we die and go to heaven . . . I want us to go together. I can't imagine a world without you in it," he said softly, holding me wrapped in his arms.
Months later . . .
The music built through the ballroom, playing the perfect song for dancing. Everyone was decked out in finery for the hospital benefit. The lights glinted off the jewelry and bright colors of silk as couples swayed beautifully. Esme and Carlisle glided around like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. I would look like a squawking chicken if I even attempted to shuffle with the music.
"Dance with me," Edward challenged, his green eyes glinting with humor.
"Edward, I can barely walk straight, much less dance."
"C'mon, I'll take care of you."
He would not take "no" for an answer. Before the end of the night, with Edward's help, I could make it around the room without making a fool of myself. I guess it helped that I was in a fog of Edward induced desire. I could barely focus past the face before me. He took advantage of my distraction and led my compliant form around the room with ease.
The band took a short break, and I was amazed to see the hospital director approach Edward. He leaned down and whispered something into his ear, and a look that was a mixture of anticipation, fear, and nervousness raced across Edward's face. When he moved to go over to the baby grand piano, I finally understood. It had taken months for Edward to get comfortable to play in front of me. It was an extremely personal thing for him, because when he played you could see right into his soul. It was extremely erotic, but for the intensely private Edward, the possibility of playing in front of such a large crowd must have been excruciating. I wondered just what had induced him to do this in front of the hospital staff. At his request, I sat beside him on the bench, giving him my support in the only way I knew how.
I knew all the songs he played, so when he started into an unfamiliar melody, my interest perked. It was beautiful, starting off slowly and building to end in a haunting melody.
"That's beautiful," I murmured as he ended the song. "What's it called, and who wrote it?"
"I did, and it's called Bella's Lullaby."
I was rendered speechless by what he said, and the room had gone quiet around us. He slid off the bench and dropped to his knees in front of me. I gasped when he brought a ring box from his pants pocket and opened it for me to see. It was a beautiful solitaire engagement ring.
"Isabella Marie Swan, will you marry me?" he asked simply.
It was all I could do to just nod; I was incapable of speech. A roar of approval went up from the crowd as he slipped the ring on my finger and snatched me into a passionate kiss. Edward Cullen, an extremely private man, had just proposed to me in front of a hundred people. I was overcome with the realization of just how far he was willing to go, was willing to force himself out of his shell, for me. A single tear rolled down my cheek, and he caught it with the tip of his finger.
"What's wrong?" he said.
"Nothing. Everything is just so right. But, don't leave me; I'd probably fall on my face because my knees are weak.
"It's nice to know that I do that to you, Bella," he said with a smirk, and I pinched him for his arrogance. "I promise I'll never leave you or let you go," he said sincerely.
Leave it to Esme to bring it all back home, though. She captured us in a corner of the ballroom and the first thing out of her mouth was, "So, when can I expect grandbabies?"
A couple of months later . . .
The wedding was perfect, just our family in a garden park we'd rented. Charlie looked handsome in the tux, and he cried when he placed my hand in Edward's. It was small and intimate. To make up for not inviting everyone at the hospital that had played such a large part in our courtship, we held a large reception that went on for hours. Our honeymoon was at a beach resort, courtesy of Esme and Carlisle. It was perfect, and I was overwhelmed with the intensity of the joining of our body for the first time. My soul was seared by the exquisiteness of the moment, and I knew then that he'd left an indelible mark on my soul.
But it wasn't the only thing he left…
Nine months later . . .
"Bella, breathe, baby," he said in my ear as the panic set in.
I'd been in labor for hours, and I wasn't making much progress. I was huge; the twins stretching my body into a shape that had to be unnatural. The obstetrician had told me our little boy was big and that I might have trouble birthing him. His sister had remained in the background, hidden from the ultrasound machines by her gregarious brother, so we were uncertain about her size. He was always front and center during our visits.
The machines I was connected to began beeping erratically, warning lights going off.
"Dr. Cullen, she's going to crash if this keeps up. We have to make a decision," I heard through a haze.
I felt him begin to move away from me, and I screamed, "Don't leave me!"
"Love, I'm right here. Bella . . . we have to consider a cesarean. Your hips are too narrow. Please, baby."
I heard his plea and wanted to agree, but I'd wanted to do it naturally so bad. An hour later, I saw the panic in his face.
"Edward?"
"Please, Bella. I don't want to lose you. Don't make me have to make a decision for you. This is us here."
All I could do was nod, and within moments, I was being prepped. I could remember clearly the moment the doctor handed Edward a bloody and squalling Emmett. He was twelve pounds at birth. There was no way I could have delivered him, no matter how hard I tried. Tiny Alice came next. She wrapped her fingers around one of Edward's foreshadowing what was to happen for the rest of her life. The girl had her father wrapped. As the doctor worked to stitch me up, I cuddled my two babies close, enjoying the feeling of their smooth skin against mine.
Then, I felt a sharp pain in my chest and the alarms went off around me. I began fading.
All I heard was Edward's frantic voice, "Bella! Don't leave me. You have to keep your heart beating . . ."
I was left with several gifts from my honeymoon; a bouncing baby boy and girl, a bad heart, and the inability to bear anymore children. Edward couldn't care less. He had me, the babies, and forever, as he put it.
I wondered if one day he would find it . . . me . . . not enough, but he'd just flash that smirking grin of his and tell me he'd never need anything else.
"I told you once, and I meant it, I'll never leave you . . . we're soul mates, Bella."
~Forever~
Present day…
As the music began to build steam, he whispered, "I swore I'd never leave you again . . ."
"You didn't, my Love. You were right beside me the whole time."
In the background, I heard Sabrina on the phone and knew that she was calling our children. It wouldn't be long until Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, Jacob, Nessie, and all the grandchildren were here. We all knew we had to enjoy the moments of Edward's lucidity when we could get them. My grandchildren dropped everything to come see their Poppa on the days he won the battle against the dementia that crippled him.
As I'd predicted, the kids and grandkids began arriving quickly. Edward and I had dressed and were sitting on the couch in the sun room, enjoying the sun and "baking it into our bones" as Sabrina called it, when they began to arrive. Our bear of a son was the first to appear. We heard his booming voice harassing Sabrina from the direction of the kitchen. Hearing a slap, I figured he'd attempted to filch something to eat. The man was never full. I heard Alice come in behind him. It made sense, really. They'd started life together, and I almost believed they would find some way go out together. Bonnie and Clyde . . .
Emmett had started an investment corporation, and with his shrewd business skills, skills I claimed as legacy from me, he and his investors had weathered many economic downturns well. His business had thrived, allowing him to retire early. He'd met Rosalie, his wife, in college. She'd blown my son off, seeing only the goofy jock exterior. What she didn't know, at the time, was that he was as persistent as his father. In the end, Emmett won the fair Rosalie's hand. Upon Henry's birth, she'd surprised us all by announcing that she would give up her plans for an engineering firm. She'd found passion in being a mother and thrived at home. Bryce had followed precisely two years later, and Rosalie managed all three of the men in her life with precision. She and Alice were now planning Henry and Anna's wedding. Bryce had already snatched up his love, Angela, and gifted us with two beautiful great grandchildren, Joseph and Justin. The eight of them came barreling into the room, Emmett going straight for his father and grabbing Edward up into a big bear hug.
"Dad…" he gasped out, his voice hoarse with emotion. I saw the suspicious sheen of tears in Edward's eyes.
I focused on the tiny form of my daughter as she skipped into the room next. Alice still had the energy of a twenty year old. She'd bossed Emmett around as kids, joking to me that she had to have something over Emmett as "he sucked all the nutrition out of you and left me in this pixie body."
She made a bee-line to her father, knocking her twin out of the way to wrap her arms around Edward's waist. Jasper entered behind her, still looking like he was in his thirties, and it was with much consternation that Alice had to put up with young college students, both female and male, throwing themselves at him. Alice had shrieked the day she found her first grey hair, and immediately made an appointment with Seattle's best "magician." She could easily pass for younger, and it was quite funny to see men refer to her as her daughter's "older sister." Charlotte was the light of their life, and both Alice and Jasper were eagerly awaiting the birth of her and Peter's first child. They'd elected to keep the sex a secret so we didn't know what to buy. It was driving Alice crazy, because for once she didn't have a good feel either way. Peter called the baby bump his "little wolf in sheep's clothing" enjoying the fact that the baby threw his unstoppable mother-in-law off. He'd continued to hope that his 'son' would keep his grandmother confused. It was one of his fondest wishes.
Emmett sat to the side of Edward on the arm chair and Alice sat down beside him, leaving no space between them. For the next hour, Edward, Emmett, and Alice laughed while the grandchildren interrupted and Tracey and Justin played at their feet. We were waiting on only one other group to show, and they did not disappoint.
Seth came through the doorway to the sun room with a broad smile across his face. "POPS!" he yelled out, drawing Edward's attention.
Nessie and Jacob came directly behind him, holding hands as usual. They'd never been separated, from the moment we brought Nessie home. My two youngest had given the family a ride from the beginning.
~Forever~
Years earlier…
The phone rang, and I heard Edward moving in the room above. I heard him speaking, but I was distracted by the demands of two hungry toddlers. Emmett had reached over, attempting to steal a cracker off Alice's high chair. I was scolding him when Edward walked in.
"Bella, I have bad news."
My childhood friend from Forks, Billy, his wife, and children had been involved in an accident.
"Bella…they are all gone, except Jacob. He survived, but he is in intensive care at the hospital. They found your name as the emergency contact."
So began a month long vigil at baby Jacob's side. Esme was an angel helping out with the care of the babies, trading off times at the hospital. Finally, we were able to bring Jacob home, and within months we were granted guardianship of him, aided by the wishes stated in Billy's will. Edward and I spoke about adopting, but Edward was wise, saying that he would be the son of our hearts, but that Billy's name should continue on through Jacob.
So our family grew by one more, and we felt complete. Little did I know that Edward had more in store for me. Little did we know that God had more in store for us.
"WHAT?" I asked in shock as I looked through the box of papers Edward handed me on our wedding anniversary. It was a deed to the land that contained our meadow and a sketch of a beautiful house.
"I'm building us a house, Bella. Well, I should say Esme is. We can't stay here anymore with the three babies. I'll hire you someone to help with the housework. I don't like you coming home from the hospital and doing it all. I feel useless when I'm buried at work," he said. Edward had made a name for himself, having been made one of the supervising doctors, the youngest ever at the hospital.
"Um…I wanted to talk with you about that," I said hesitantly.
He looked at me with wide eyes.
"What would you think about me quitting and being a stay at home mom?" I proposed. I couldn't stand the thought of being apart from my babies.
Edward just shook his head and grinned. "I think it's a brilliant idea."
As I said, little did we know that God had more in store.
Emmett and Alice were four, and Jacob had just turned three when we got the next call. I asked one of my friends to watch the babies, and Edward and I drove to Carlisle and Esme's. Carlisle collapsed in his son's arms as Edward had to tell them that Tanya had died of a drug overdose. The news hit not much later. Reporters invaded and laid siege, but we were able to control the mayhem by calling Charlie, who called in a few favors. What we did not know was that Tanya left a present for us; Renesmee Carlie Cullen, a baby born just a month prior to Tanya's overdose.
She'd been in hiding, and it was rumored in the gossip mills that she was nursing a broken heart from her latest breakup. We only found out the truth when the police officers called the house just hours after we arrived. Tanya had slowly been distancing herself from the family, and it broke Carlisle's and Esme's hearts. They had adopted Tanya as a baby. She was biologically Carlisle's niece from his brother. Aro and his wife, Cia, had been killed while on vacation in Italy. It was rumored he'd had ties to the mob. Carlisle and Esme had raised little Tanya as their own, and could not love her more, so the news of her death, even in the light of the distance she'd put between them was still hard. It would seem though, that she knew who was still loyal to her. She'd left a will, naming us the sole benefactors of her estate, including her infant daughter. The father was unknown.
Esme was, of course, willing to take on the raising of the bronze haired beauty, but Jacob had taken one look at the baby we brought home and wrapped her in his chubby three year old arms. "Mine" was his only word. They were inseparable from that moment.
Emmett and Alice had taken after my Italian ancestors, both dark haired and eyed. Nessie, as she was called, was the spitting image of Edward.
So Edward and I became parents to four toddlers within a period of four years, and life was busy. We finished the house, and Esme's friend Marcus handled the investments after Tanya's estate was settled. None of our kids would ever want for anything, college, graduate school, or medical school.
To say my life was idyllic over the next years would be a misstatement, but it was pretty damn near perfect. We faced criticism for the love that developed between Jacob and Nessie, who were being raised as siblings in the same household. Edward and I decided we could care less what anyone thought. They weren't biologically related, and the dedication of my Quileute son to "his Nessie" was almost supernatural. No one was surprised when he asked Edward's permission for her hand in marriage. Edward, never one to back down from a chance to harass his children, asked Jacob when Nessie was going to come ask him for his hand.
Seth was born a year into their marriage. He'd followed in his Poppa's footsteps and was a newly practicing surgeon at Seattle General. We were waiting for him and his new wife, Jessica, to announce when they would begin a family. It was inevitable. Seth was a favorite of the kids in the family.
~Forever~
Present day…
"Seth, stop. I'm fine." Edward grumbled when Seth brought out his stethoscope.
"Poppa, humor me," the engaging young man murmured.
After checking my love, he turned to me and quickly nodded his head toward the kitchen.
"I'm going to check with Sabrina about lunch," I said softly. Of course, Emmett was the one to respond with a "GOOD!"
As the others snickered, I slowly made my way down the hallway. I'd been sitting too long and my arthritis made me stiff. Seth then told everyone that he was going to help me.
As soon as we were out of the hearing of the others, he turned on me. "Meme, you are wearing yourself down. I won't bring up the idea of Poppa going to an assisted living facility because I know that isn't an option for any of us, but you're going to have to let me get you more help. You can't go on like this. Your heart–"
~Forever~
Years earlier…
"Dr. Cullen, his heart is failing, and his organs are shutting down. The heart attack in itself was significant enough to be fatal, but the quick intervention should have insured his survival." The head cardiologist at Seattle General informed Edward. "This isn't a medical diagnosis, but I believe your father has just given up the will to live."
This came as no surprise to us. We'd buried Esme just a month previous, after she finally lost her battle with breast cancer. She'd died as she lived her life, happy and surrounded by her son, me, her grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Mostly importantly she held Carlisle's hand. I swear it was almost as if we heard the last beat of her heart. It was the last beat of Carlisle's, as well, as if she'd taken his heart with her.
Edward and I were with Carlisle when he, too, took his last breath. I held one hand while Edward held the other. Carlisle had become like a second father to me, and it took Charlie holding my hand for me to make it through Carlisle's funeral and the settlement of their estate. After all the kids and grandkids had taken the items to which they'd become attached, the estate had been sold and the money donated to the Susan G. Komen foundation. The CEO of the foundation had been astounded at the check we wrote to them.
Charlie surprised us all. In his sixties, he remarried, to his best friend's widow, and lived out a long and happy life. He fell asleep one night, some few years later, and never awoke.
~Forever~
Present day…
"Meme, you are wearing yourself down. I won't bring up the idea of Poppa going to an assisted living facility because I know that isn't an option for any of us, but you are going to have to let me get you more help. You can't go on like this. Your heart–"
I hissed at him to hush and sat down at the table, rolling up my sleeve, ready for his traditional checkup.
"I don't like the sound of your heart. You are putting too much stress on it," he murmured after he strapped on the blood pressure cuff and put the cold metal disk of his stethoscope to the inside crook of my elbow.
"WHAT?" Edward shouted from the doorway. "What do you mean, Seth?" Edward asked again when his grandson looked down.
We both remained silent; me because I didn't want to tell him, Seth because I'd sworn him to secrecy. It was the wrong tactic with Edward, and I realized it too late. His hands clenched at his sides.
"Seth, you'll locate a facility for me as quickly as possible. I won't place Bella under stress," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose in his distress. I guessed his next move correctly. His hand went to the shock of white hair, pulling at it. "The sooner the better. My moments of lucidity are getting shorter and further apart. I would like to have this settled before the next time," he said directly to Seth, infuriating me.
"NO! I am still here, you know. I have a say in this. You are not going anywhere, Edward. That is final," I snarled at him. "Seth, will you please excuse us?" I said to my grandson, and gestured forcefully with my hand for him to leave us alone.
Seth ran like a scalded dog, knowing that Edward and I were about to argue . . . or at least that is what he thought. I was too tired to argue, physically and mentally. My heart was failing, and I knew it. My doctor had already warned me, preparing me for the inevitable. I worried more that I would die before Edward. Even though I knew our children and grandchildren would take care of him, I was upset by the possibility. He'd always protected me, and now it was my turn to protect him. And I was failing miserably in my mind.
I remembered clearly just how many times my love had thrown himself in front of me, protecting me from danger. The event at the hospital had begun our love affair, and another not too many years ago had started the end of it.
~Forever~
10 years earlier…
"Dad, are you sure? I can't believe you're going to take all the women to the reception by yourself," Emmett said.
Edward laughed as he finally gave up and allowed Emmett to tie his bow tie for him.
"Emmett, I'm going to a formal affair with all the beautiful Cullen women, in honor of your grandmother. I'll be wining and dining just how many beautiful women?" he asked in false horror. "Hm, I think I can handle it. I'll be the envy of every man there," he said, looking over at me. I'd dressed in a sapphire-blue dress he loved. His eyes burned with passion as looked at me.
"OH! Come on, you two." Emmett groaned. "You're my parents, for God sakes. Cut it out," he said of our exchanged looks.
"You had to come from somewhere, Emmett," Edward murmured.
"LALALALA, I'M NOT LISTENING, I'M NOT LISTENING," Emmett shouted, leaving the room quickly with his large hands covering his ears.
We picked Rosalie, Angela, Alice, Charlotte, and Nessie up in the limousine we'd rented for the evening. It was a beautiful affair, and Edward helped each one of us pin on the pink ribbons in honor of Esme. The night was magical, and I looked on in joy as Edward took turns dancing with his daughter, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren. I was never more in love with him than in that moment. I grinned as he threw his head back, roaring in laughter at something Rosalie said. I was sure she shared some crazy story about Emmett. I was just as sure it was something I did not want to know.
The evening came to an end all too quickly, and we made our way as group toward the limousine. It happened fast. One moment, we were walking across the lot, and the next three men stood in front of us in a threatening manner.
Edward, of course, stepped in front of us all, throwing his hands up as if to corral us behind him.
"Give us all your money and no one has to get hurt," the tallest one said.
Edward was no match against all three of them.
"Of course, take it all," Edward said holding out his wallet.
"Your jewelry too," another one said.
Even as precious as my engagement ring was to me, it was not worth causing problems over, but Edward felt differently. That ring signified everything to him. I was proud though when he didn't argue with them; I was afraid that his protective nature would take over. I didn't move fast enough though, and one of the men grew impatient. He went to grab me, and that is when Edward's control snapped.
He pushed the one man away from us, and the man stumbled backwards hitting a car. Edward was still very strong.
"Are you fucking stupid, man?" One of the men puffed up.
"Don't touch any of them," Edward growled out. "Take the jewelry and my wallet and leave."
Edward was so engaged in the confrontation that he didn't notice the crowd that had seen us, or that they had engaged security. Several guards from the hospital were making their way quickly toward us. Hurry! I thought.
It turned ugly when the men saw what was happening. Panicking, the leader pulled out a gun and leveled it at us.
"Don't move," he ordered, but it was too late.
Edward lunged at the man, grabbing for the gun just as it went off. Amid the screams, Edward fell to his knees as the men ran away. He brought his hand up tentatively toward his head, then he collapsed on his side, blood pouring from a wound near his temple.
My scream was the loudest as I watched my love crumple to the ground.
Hours later . . .
"Mrs. Cullen, we've stabilized him, but the bullet did some damage to his skull and frontal lobe. I won't lie to you. Even if he recovers, there are likely to be major side effects like memory loss and possible stroke."
Alice squeezed my hand, supporting me.
Emmett asked, "How soon will we know?" He held the sobbing Rosalie. We were still dressed in our finery. Emmett had blamed himself a million times since arriving, believing if he had been with us, the muggers wouldn't have attempted to rob us.
I twisted the ring on my finger. The men had dropped everything, including Edward's wallet. Did they have any idea that they had stolen something infinitely more priceless? They could have taken all my money and all my possessions, and it wouldn't have hurt a fraction of what I felt now. Fear sliced through me, causing me to feel like I was the living dead.
"We don't know, Mr. Cullen. It will take some time to see."
Time slipped by in huge chunks as we waited.
And waited.
And waited.
His moments of awareness came slowly, but they finally came. The day I heard him say my name, I cried. I laid my head down on the soft cover of his hospital bed and cried great big tears of relief. He came home a couple of weeks later, and I hired a bevy of nurses and physical therapists to help in his recuperation. He cried only one time, and it was the day he had to tell the hospital director that he would obviously not be returning to his part-time work. Like Carlisle he hadn't been able to let go of the thrill of working at the children's center. He loved his job, pure and simple. He suffered the torture of the physical terrorists without complaint.
When the first month passed without incident, I thought we'd literally dodged a bullet. Until the voices started. He began hearing people talk to him. Then, there were times he seemed confused. The day he turned to me with a blank look was torture. It was almost as if he was a statue . . . a lifeless body. My heart broke. It was the beginning of the end.
~Forever~
Present day…
"Bella, my presence is a threat to your life. How can you expect me to remain here? It's safer for you if I leave," he said, leaning his forehead against the doorway. His face echoed his pain at the thought.
I did something I never thought I would do. I played on his guilt. "I thought you said you would never leave me."
"As long as it was what was in your best interest! I never imagined that I would become a threat to you."
I moved to his side and put my hand on his arm. "I'll die without you. My heart is connected to yours. If you leave me, it'll be as if there is a hole in my chest. We're in this together, Edward, forever.
He placed his hand over mine and then brought me into a tight embrace. He stole my breath away when he pulled me up to kiss me.
"Dad! Mom! God, enough!" Emmett swore out from beside us, and I felt Edward's lips turn up into a smile.
"Baby," he said in a sexy voice against me, and my toes did curl up. Emmett ran then, swearing the whole way.
"C'mon. Let's go. The kids are here, and for now I just want to spend my time with you," I begged.
"We need to talk about this, Bella, but I'll give you a break for now," he said, then a devious look came across his face. "Maybe I'll flirt with you, and we can run them all off early so that we can spend the evening together alone."
He was a rascal, my Edward. "Deal," I agreed, smiling up at him wantonly. Well, as wantonly as an eighty something year old woman was capable.
That evening . . .
The whole crew stayed until after dinner, helping us to clean up the mess. Sabrina took the night off, leaving Edward and I to ourselves. She and Emmett both made sure that I kept the phone at my side, just in case things took a downward spiral and I needed them.
We sat in an oversized chair before the fireplace, our feet warming to the blaze. He'd turned on the radio and sat running his fingers through my silver hair.
"I have had the most amazing life, Bella. You, the kids, my career . . . everything. I don't know what I did to be so incredibly blessed, but days like today just put it in perspective. My love, tell me about your heart. I know you've probably told me a hundred times over the past few years, but humor me today."
"My heart is full of love for you, Edward. The same as it has always been."
"That bad, huh?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.
I decided to be transparent with him. "The doctor told me that I have maybe months at the best, Edward. I can't take any more medications, and what I'm already taking is losing its effectiveness. The stress was just too great during the pregnancy and birth. I've been blessed to have this many years. You know that wasn't expected. Even then, the doctors told us that my life expectancy would be shortened without a transplant. You've kept me alive this long . . . you and your love for me. I just hope I don't leave you. That's my greatest fear, that you will wake up and not find me here."
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tightly to his chest. We remained in that embrace for hours. Night began to fall and he moved softly against me.
"I wonder what the meadow looks like tonight. I bet it's excruciatingly beautiful. It's been too long." His voice sounded wistful, but there was a strange quality to it. I finally realized it was a resolved tone.
I glanced to the window and saw a snowflake hit the pane. We would freeze to death out there. My eyes jerked to him. I knew him better than I knew myself. He couldn't mean . . .
"Would you like to go to the meadow tonight, Bella?" he asked softly against my hair.
Peace settled within me. "Yes, yes I would."
I slowly rose from the chair and went to the hallway closet, bringing out the ancient picnic basket that Esme had packed for us over sixty years ago. It had been repaired many times, but it held too many memories to get rid of. I passed the mantle as I came back in the room and as I did so, I looked to each picture there. Carlisle and Esme. Emmett and his family in the formal affair that Rosalie had orchestrated. Alice, Jasper, Charlotte, and Peter in a whimsical Christmas picture. Jacob, Nessie, Seth, and Jessica at an event on the reservation. These were all favored pictures of our family. Edward came to stand behind me and ran his fingertip across each of their faces.
"We're so lucky," he murmured against me.
"Yes, we are. I need to do one thing, Edward, before we go," I said softly.
I quickly penned a message and left the folded letter against my and Edward's picture.
The cold air took my breath away when we stepped out to begin the short walk to the meadow we now owned. He grabbed my hand, and we walked slowly, our footsteps unsure. For now, the night sky was crystal clear and the moonlight shone brightly, lighting the way. I could see the snow clouds on the horizon; it would be snowing in earnest soon.
He'd carried the basket and sat it on one of the reclining chaise lounges, we'd placed in the meadow years earlier, to pull the blankets out. He placed one on the chair and pulled the other to place around us. He helped me sit, then did the same. Taking out a small container, he poured a multitude of pills out, giving me half. After drinking from a shared bottle of water, we reclined against the back of the lounge, and I snuggled into his side placing my head against his shoulder.
"Beautiful," he said.
"I know, isn't it," I responded looking up into the sky as a single snowflake floated down.
"I meant you," he snickered. "Now my life is complete."
"How so?"
"My last wish is fulfilled."
"I don't understand."
"When we first came here do you remember my words?"
I shook my head, not sure of what he was specifically referring to.
"One day, when we're old and grey, I want to be able to lie in this exact spot and look up at the sky with you. I want to always remember everything of our time together. And when we die and go to heaven…I want us to go together. I can't imagine a world without you in it."
I smiled at the memory of that moment so long ago and with delight that Edward's memory was so sharp at the moment. With one last kiss, I settled into the arms of my love, my soul mate. Already his skin felt cold against mine, but I wasn't afraid. I knew the end was near, but I was facing it with him. I laced my fingers with his and closed my eyes, a smile on my face.
Many thanks to crmneill my former beta, who loves me so much that he successfully quashed his nausea and disgust at the thought of reading an AH story and edited this for me so long ago.
This story is extremely personal for us both.
Dedicated to Edward H: Charles' grandfather, who held on while Alzheimers took almost everything and waited to go until his family came for him one last time.
Dedicated to Kathleen B: My mom, who suffered from dementia as well. She too was able to leave this world on her own terms, grateful to do so when she still remembered her grandbabies as well.
