James Rhodey lays in his hospital bed, appearing to be asleep, but Pepper knows he's fully awake, his brain working overtime in conjuring up all the worse case scenarios of his present situation. "Hanging in there?"
"Not sure I'm going to be doing much hanging," he responds in a sullen tone.
"You'll be fine."
Ignoring his exasperated glance, she walks over to where the magazines are, casually picks one up and starts flipping through the pages. "Tony can't work without a wingman, James, and you're the only one who can stand him. Which means sooner or later, he's going to find a way to make you better."
"Maybe he'll just soup up my wheelchair so we can fly around together."
"And risk you getting more attention than him? I don't think so."
"You really think he can help me with this?"
"Is that a serious question?"
"Have a lot of faith in him, don't you?"
She doesn't look up, instead feigning interest in the article in front of her.
"He's a mess without you," Rhodey continues.
"When isn't he a mess?"
"He's been a real pain in my ass since you left."
"More than usual?"
"Didn't think it was possible, but yes."
"My ears are burning," Tony declares, swaggering into the room. "Which one of you is lavishing me with compliments?"
Refusing to acknowledge Tony, she focuses her attention on Rhodey. "I need a drink. Can I get you something?"
"Hey, I could use a coffee. Or whiskey. Morphine's fine too," Tony quips.
She can feel his gaze burning into her but she can't bring herself to look at him, not after everything that's happened. One pleading expression from him and she'll come undone, and all the progress she's made moving on with her life would be lost. She returns to the hospital bed to drop a quick kiss on Rhodey's cheek before grabbing her purse and heading for the door.
Tony moves out of the way, thankfully, but not before throwing a snarky comment in her direction. "Guess I'm invisible now."
"If only," she retorts.
"Oh, so you do see me? Thought I was talking to myself."
"Don't you always? It's not like you actually listen to me."
"Hard to do when you take off."
"Hey guys, I'm right here," Rhodey pipes up. "My hospital room, my accident. Remember?"
Remembering how she found out about Rhodey's condition, her anger returns tenfold. "Why didn't you call me when this happened? Why did I have to hear about it from the news?"
"Because, honey, I had other things on my mind. And didn't you tell me to forget your number?"
"Don't be obtuse."
"That's a new word. Not sure I like it. I prefer jackass. Much sexier."
"Fine, jackass. Next time you or Rhodey are hurt and I don't get a call, I'll kill you myself."
"Not that easy. There's a waiting list of people trying to get to me."
"I'll find a way to jump the line."
"I don't doubt it. You do end up scaring the shit out of people."
"Wish I could scare you."
"I'm quaking in my boots right now." Tony smirks. "Sweetheart, you terrify me."
Right away she can feel her resolve weakening, the way it tends to do whenever he's around. He's infuriating, and cocky, and his stubborn refusal to listen to her drives her crazy, but underneath all of that bluster is still the insecure little boy who's afraid of being alone in the world. For years he cared about nothing except indulging in vices, and then he went through hell and came out of it a changed man. The weight of the world fell on his shoulders and left a toll on him. A part of her aches to close the distance between them so she can hold him in her arms and comfort him, but she reminds herself it wouldn't accomplish anything. "I'm going to get lunch."
"Grab me a burrito."
"I'll be back in half an hour."
"I hate to see you go, Pepper, but I love to watch you leave."
"And I'd like you to be gone by then."
Hurt flashes across his face, making her stomach recoil. She hates causing him pain but staying away from him is the only way to protect herself; he may be fine with making reckless choices that put him in danger but considering she's hopelessly in love with him it's not something she can live with.
He's quiet, still, so very unlike him. "So that's how it is now?"
"I think having the both of us here would be too much for James."
"Hey, don't put this on me," Rhodey interjects.
Tony turns his back to her. "Fine. I won't be here."
Every fibre in her body is screaming at her to talk to him, to reassure him that she won't abandon him, but then she remembers their last fight, the sleepless nights where he took off to save the world without so much as a word and she knows this is the right decision. "Thank you."
She walks away.
Few days later
"Is this a dream?"
Hearing Tony's voice from behind, Pepper looks at him over her shoulder.
"Wait, this can't be a dream." He saunters towards the couch, taking his time. "Because then you'd be naked, and Rhodey wouldn't be here. No offense, Rhodey."
"None taken," Rhodey says, sipping his coffee.
Hands tucked into his pockets, Tony levels her with a questioning look. "So what are you doing here, Pepper?"
"Can we have this conversation someplace private?" she asks, standing up.
"It's fine. We can do it here. Rhodey's not going to tattle."
Irritated, she crosses her arms.
"Tony, I really don't want to hear this either. If I could, I'd be walking out of here right now."
"Fine, twinkle toes. You just sit there and be precious."
Pepper follows Tony to the kitchen, feeling that anxious twist in the pit of her stomach again. There are bruises on his face, a haunted look in his eyes she hasn't seen in a long time, and it makes her want to retch. He leans back against the counter, staring at her.
"You moved out of the house. Are you living here now?" she says, trying to maintain a casual tone.
"Rhodey needed a nurse."
She smiles. "You do look great in scrubs."
"Plus, great perks. He knows how to pinch the right spots."
"You found your calling then."
Tony takes a step closer, standing directly in front of her, and all of her hesitations melt away as she reaches up to caress his face, her fingers smoothing over his battered skin. He remains still, eyes closed, and she's grateful for the rare moment of silence between them. "Are you okay?" she asks.
His gaze locks with hers once again. "I'm fine."
"I heard what happened."
"Feeling guilty, Pepper?"
"Why should I feel guilty?"
"Because you left."
"Because you pushed me away."
"Then why are you here?"
"I love you, I'm worried about you."
"Aren't you always?"
"I know, but it's a bigger headache when you're not in my life. At least when we're talking, I can yell at you for pulling ridiculous stunts."
A myriad of emotions flicker across his face, from joy, and confusion, then to heartbreaking uncertainty. "But you're not back for good?"
"Is that what you really want?"
"Of course it is!" he says impatiently, holding her hand in his. "How can you ask me that?"
"I need things to change, Tony."
"Alright. More sex. Got it," he says cheekily.
She returns his smile, but then reminds herself not to get distracted. "I'm serious."
After a brief pause, he nods his head. "Okay."
"And I want you to talk to someone, a doctor."
Right away he bristles at the idea. "I've done the shrink thing, it's not for me."
Expecting this reaction, she forces him to hold her gaze. "Things were good between us when you had your sessions with Bruce."
"He was asleep most of the time."
"It doesn't matter who you talk to, just that you're actually doing it."
"Fine. Get the green giant back here and I'll spill all my dirty secrets."
"Tony." Despite trying to stay calm, her voice cracks with emotion. "I need this. You need this. After Jarvis and everything that happened, and now finding out about your parents? You're going to implode if you don't talk to someone, and I can't just stand by and watch you go through that." Pepper's never been one to cry easily but tears burn at the back of her eyes, and it feels like she's fighting a losing battle. "You're all I have, remember? I don't want to lose you."
"Okay, okay." He cradles her face in his hands. "I'll do whatever you need, I promise. Just don't cry. Please."
She smiles through her tears. "You mean that?"
"Yeah, I do." He nods his head. "Sweetheart, I love you, but you're a really ugly crier. I can't stomach your face when you look like that."
"Shut up." She pulls him close, brushing her lips against his. "If you don't go through with this-"
"You'll spank me. Hard." Tony smiles at her, his eyes shining with adoration.
"I don't want to be without you. Don't force me."
His mouth closes over hers, kissing her possessively.
She has no idea what the future holds, but for the time being at least they're together, and that's all that matters. Or so she tells herself.
A/N - Hope you guys like it! I love Tony x Pepper and it's been a LONG time (post-IM2) since I've written them so I may be a little rusty. Civil War brought my muse running back to me and I had to jot this down. If you have the time to leave your thoughts, I'd love to read them!
