The One with the Tall Guy
(All are in Monica and Rachel's flat around series three)
Phoebe: ... and that's when I realised that Chandler was a weird name.
Joey: Wow, only then?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Chandler: Actually it's Norwegian for 'great one'.
Monica: Really?
Chandler: No, but it would be really cool if it was. And I say that when I'm flirting.
Joey: No wonder you've been single for months.
Monica: So, when is he coming?
Phoebe: In about five minutes. Are you ready?
Rachel: Who's coming?
Phoebe: (pleased with herself) Oh, just a tall dark stranger I set up with Monica.
Monica: I'm so excited! I've only dated three guys in this whole year.
Joey: It could be worse: you could be Chandler.
Chandler: Hey I've dated more ... oh, no wait, I haven't. Stupid life.
(The bell rings)
Monica: Here he is!
(Monica opens the door to find a man so tall his head and shoulders are obscured by the door frame)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, he's a very tall dark stranger.
Rachel: Good luck, make sure he doesn't stand on you.
(Monica walks out with the man)
Chandler: Was that a man or a nuclear experiment?
Phoebe: No, he works in a circus.
Chandler: Figures.
Phoebe: Yeah, he sets up the tight rope.
Chandler: Does he set it up or hold it up?
Ross: No, he always bangs his head on it.
Phoebe: So, did I ever tell you about the time I was possessed?
Rachel: By the rats or when you were possessed by John McCain?
(Scene changes to Monica sitting at a table looking over at the man's Torso)
Monica: So, George ... um, nice shirt.
George: Yeah, my sister said it brought out my eyes. What do you think?
Monica: Oh, couldn't say.
George: Why's that?
Monica: 'Cause, well ... I can't see your eyes.
(Scene goes back to the apartment a few hours later)
Phoebe: And that ends my life story.
Ross: That can't be the end.
Phoebe: Why?
Ross: You didn't mention me once.
Phoebe: Oh, I'm sorry; you have quite a forgettable face.
Ross: Forgettable face! Phebes, I've seen you almost every day of my life for the last five years. You even wrote a song called 'Life with a guy called Ross'.
Phoebe: (realisation) Oh yeah!
(Monica rushes in)
Phoebe: Ooh, how'd it go?
Monica: Hang on a second, I need a step ladder.
(She walks out with a step ladder and comes back again after a few minutes)
Phoebe: How was it!?
Monica: Next time you set me up, I want it to be someone who doesn't need to wear a helmet to stop him hitting door frames.
Phoebe: So he was a bit tall-
Monica: A bit tall!? He virtually needed lights on his head to stop planes colliding with it! I mean, I needed that step ladder to tell him I didn't want to go out with him again, for heaven's sake.
Chandler: That's not at all patronising.
Monica: Well, I wanted to tell him face to face but his face was so far above mine that I needed some extra help.
Phoebe: Well there is this other guy I know-
Monica: What is he? A microscopic midget?
Phoebe: How did you know?! Wow, and all this time I thought I was the only psychic!
(Phoebe runs and hugs Monica)
Monica: You're not psychic. You don't even know where the butter dish is.
Phoebe: Yes I do!
Monica: Where is it?
Phoebe: I dunno.
