The Saiyuki Bachelor-et Game

Ellie Magee

"Man this really sucks..."

A brown haired boy said bordly. He was sitting in a jeep with three other men and there was a large group of Youki;s coming towards them.

"We'll get you Sanzo and company..."

The badly dressed Youki's were tired of saying 'sanzo party' and it was apparent they were using their 'thinking caps' recently.

"Goku, I'll leave these guys to you, I don't have the energy to waste my time with useless weaklings".

The cold voice that belonged to sanzo muttered. Just them a cold blooded scream broke the dullness of the evening.

"Oh Help! Please someone Help me!"

The voice belonged to a girl about 18 at least, she was short, round and very unattractive with mousy brown hair and a large ugly face.

"Goyjo your the one that likes saving hot girls."

Goku said bordly.

" I don't think thats the case..."

Goyjo said giving the ugly girl a look over.

"But Goyjo! You said the fatter 'ey were the bigger the"-

Hakkai put his hand over Goku's mouth just in time.

"We don't need to know what vulgar thing Goyjo said this time Goku"

Hakkai said with patience. Goyjo lit a cigarette and giggled.

"Damn..."

Goyjo said softly.

"Guess someone should save the ugly chick"

Goyjo said with a trace of laughter in his voice. All of the sanzo party went over and killed the evil Youki with a great amount of skill. The girl jumped up and down making the ground shake.

"You did it!! You saved me"

The girl yelled.

"Yeah Yeah... keep your shirt on... seriously keep it on"

Goyjo tossed his hair out of his eyes.

"Who's the old one o'er there?"

Goku asked with interest. The man walked over smiling then he spoke,

"Oh you saved her! You saved my daughter Ayaka! You will wed her! One of you lucky boys will be my son in law!"

Goyjo's cigarette fell from his mouth.

"And you know what will happen after we wed... the good part!"

Ayaka giggled, but since she had such a large neck it came out as more of a growl. Sanzo coughed, Hakkai smiled Goyjo laughed.

"What good part?"

Goku asked obviously confused.

"Nothing Goku..."

Sanzo said as Goyjo ruffled his hair.

"So which lucky man will it be?"

The old man said ignoring their laughter , Ayaka rubbed her hands together and when they could see that the old man wasn't joking they answered trying to suppress their laughter.

"Ya see... Your daughters hot and all... but I have a sweetheart back at home waiting for me."

Goyjo said convincingly.

"My religion forbids marriage"

Hakkai said seriously.

"I'm too young..."

Goku said innocently. Sanzo stood there not realizing it was his turn until Ayaka put her hands on her hips impatiently.

"Oh... I'm... I'm a homosexual, I don't date women."

Sanzo then had a weird expression on his face. The others nodded.

"Its true ya know, he's Gay as a little Gay school boy."

Goyjo said smiling. Ayaka ran out of the room crying.

"Now look what you did!"

The old man ran after his daughter leaving the four men alone, they started laughing like crazy. Sanzo hit Goyjo and threatened to kill him with his gun.

"I wouldn't date that ugly little thing if you paid me!"

Goyjo laughed.

"Though she liked me the best..."

Goyjo smiled.

"Nah.. When she found out I was a homo, she almost cried!"

Sanzo said lighting a cigarette.

"I believe she would prefer a gentlemen like me."

Said Hakkai. They argued for awhile until the old man came back in.

"We believe that you have a lovely daughter, and we would all like to date her... which one of us would you say would be more... eh fitting?"

Hakkai said eyes fixed on the old man. The old mans eyes lit up as he whispered.

"I will leave the choosing to Ayaka."

Then he left.

"It's a competition!"

Goku said happily.

"Looks like we'll be playing bachelor then..."

Goyjo said smiling.

"I better go in there and impress her"

Hakkai said leaving.

"Wait..."

Sanzo said

"I should probably go convince her that I've changed my sexuality."

Sanzo said as he left