Chapter One: Preparing to Leave.
Bella had never given much thought to how she would die. She knew that when it happened…she would look beautiful.
Bella's beauty amazed her as much as it amazed everyone else around her. One day she was watching her pet grass seeds grow, and decided that she might be able to manage the brain overload of keeping an eye on the seeds while thinking about her lovely appearance.
She had long, stringy dark hair. Once, a girl said that Bella's hair looked like Medusa. Therefore, Bella could ascertain that her hair was like that of a goddess.
Her skin was freckly and pimply. Once, a boy said that Bella had skin like the surface of the moon. Therefore, Bella could ascertain that her skin looked as mysterious as the Milky Way, with a million twinkling stars.
Her flesh was flabby and dimply. Once, a girl said that Bella was fat. Therefore, Bella could ascertain that her shape was more Marilyn Monroe (tripled) than Twiggy Lawson. Bella was, after all, a huge (Get it? Get it?) sensation on .
Her voice was low and masculine. The guy on the other end of the sex chat line described it as being 'manly.' He had sounded disappointed. Bella decided she had the low, deep purr of a tigress, and well, if her clients wanted girls instead of real women, that was entirely their problem. They could build a bridge and get over it. Or better, they could build a bridge and get over themselves, thought Bella.
She was pleased with this line, and decided that she would use it at every available opportunity. She pulled the straps of her suspenders and stretched them to their full extent, and let them go. They snapped against her knitted vest. She stared into her mirror. It was the joke one that her mother had once begged the owners of the local amusement park to let her buy, as Bella had taken one look at her reflection in it, and fell in love with it instantly.
'Mom,' she had grunted that day. 'I look amazing! This is the only mirror that depicts me as I truly am. Oh, please can we buy it? Oh, please, please, please?'
Bella's mother had looked at Bella in the reflection, and saw a disproportionately large head to the rest of the body (which was large enough in its own right). Yes, her daughter was right! Bella was finally being depicted for who she was.
Bella was broken from her reverie by her mother walking into her room. The astonished look on her mother's face was perhaps explained by the sight of Bella, with her fingers in her mouth, stretching her lips into a maniacal grin, staring into the mirror.
'Bella,' Renee frowned. 'What are you doing?'
'Oh, just practising how I'm going to look when I catch people out with my famously clever wit!' Bella answered.
'Please don't,' implored Renee in a patient voice, 'you don't look very intelligent when you do things like that. I think you should be packing for Forks.'
'I'll send you packing to Forks. So, it would be best if you build a bridge and get over it. Better still, why not build a bridge and get over yourself?' Bella jutted her head forwards towards her mother, pulling at her lips with her fingers to form that gross smile again. She also broke wind as she did so, deliberately, as she knew that most people generally found it highly amusing when she did so. She knew her mother had been lying that time she tried to tell Bella that people laughed at her, not with her.
'Bella', Renee said sadly, 'although I have reinforced your special mirror to stop it cracking like the others, you should stop that expression before the wind changes.' She walked off, shaking her head sadly. Bella just knew that Renee was filled with jealousy that she could never be as great or as admired as her daughter. Bella conceded that Renee did have a point about the mirrors. For some reason, Bella was at 77 years bad luck.
Bella sighed, and spat on her grass seeds to water them. Hey, she was showing her respect for life by saving on the water bill. Bella sighed at how considerate she was. The few shoots that had emerged shrivelled up and turned brown. Bella was so proud of them. Maggy, Paggy and Daggy had finally obtained a suntan.
