As I look at the fire burning I think of my life; how it was and now how it is. I think about my partner and my friends. What a wonderful thing; friends.
My parents died when I was 17, and I lived with my grandfather. I never talked to many people, I just wasn't social. Nobody noticed me anyway. My parents died in a fire, the same one that was started by a single woman, burning a damn letter from her ex-husband.
Grandfather was surprised that I have a love and respect of fire since my parents died in one, and I nearly died in it as well. I have never really been able to explain why I'm drawn to flames, I just am.
I was depressed and sitting around the house when grandfather told me he'd sent applications to a college in Japan, and that I had been accepted to it. He knew I loved the country and embraced it's culture. I was happy for the first time since my parents death.
When I went to the college campus; I was alone. My grandfather had spent the last of his money on me and my dream; to become an author.
I shift from my position and look at my necklace, I pick up the charm and play with it. I always did when something was on my mind. Melissa wasn't there, so no one noticed when I did and no one asked me anything, no one knew I was preoccupied.
Melissa, she was the first friend I had made since I had come here, she was the one who knew me best and knew about my parents. I shared my first accomplishments with her. She is like a sister to me.
I think about what she did to help me with adjusting to the Japanese culture, it was kind of her to. How she helped me cope with grandfathers death, and how she told me about her life. She told me what she felt when she found out she was partners with Dais, I then realized how glad I should be that Ryo is my partner. Melissa has to cope with the separation she knows she needs to go through, and she needs to cope with the fact that her partner is a warlord. God, that's a hard thing to do, I know I could never do that.
I'm glad Ryo is my partner, he's one of the first guys I've ever known who don't stare at my different color eyes, and treat me like I'm a freak. I know no one will ever know my feelings about him, I don't know why, but I love him. I know that's strange, I mean he's my partner and I need to be his friend, nothing more. Besides, he'd never have feelings for me, I'm his friend, his partner. If I were to become more than that then I would become even more of a weakness for him, I would become even more of a burden for him. I won't tell him, I have any feelings for him other than one of friendship.
I drop my charm and pull out a blank piece of paper and start to write on it. I write for a while then reread what I have:
I sit and look at the flames.
I watch them dance;
to and fro.
As they dance I think of you.
How you gave me a chance,
a chance to live my dreams.
You gave me a place to live,
a home.
I never thanked you enough,
I never told you how much I love you.
Now's my chance.
Now that it's too late.
I'm sorry I never told you sooner;
that I love you.
I love you Grandpa.
I looked at the poem again and put it away in my bag. I sit and start to drift into my thoughts, and into sleep.
