I'm sorry for you Carlisle fans, but this makes fun of him a bit. Also, I came up with this, because the same dam thing happened to me. The dam salsa lid wouldn't open.
SALSA!!!!!!!
Emse walked into the room with the rest of the Cullen and Bella. In her hands were a bag of chips and a can of salsa.
"Thank-You, Emse," Bella said while opening the bag and went to grab the salsa, but Edward grabbed it first.
"Let me Bella," he said and gave Bella's favorite crooked smile.
She shrugged and watched Edward.
He twisted the lid, but it refused to open. "Dam Salsa!"
"Aw, poor Edward can't open the salsa?" Emmett laughed.
"Lets see you open it!" Edward growled and chunked the salsa towards him.
Emmett caught it and smiled, "Watch the pro." He twisted the lid, but it wouldn't budge. "Stupid salsa!"
Rosalie rolled her eyes and took the salsa from Emmett. "You fool." She twisted and then, sneered, "I HATE YOU, YOU…YOU DUMB ASS SALSA!!!!"
Carlisle grabbed the salsa and study it."hmmmmm." He clicked the top.
"It's not brain surgery, Carlisle," Bella chuckled.
Alice and Bella were laughing about something, but what.
Emse grabbed the salsa and tried, but no luck. "MEAN SALSA!!!"
Edward grabbed it again, "See not so easy!"
"Try hitting it with a knife," Alice giggled.
Edward got up and walked into the kitchen, then, a small thudding began. "GRRRRRRRRR DIE SALSA!! DIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Emmett ran in there and grabbed. "Edward, it's not the salsa fault you can't open it." He walked over and put the salsa under cool water. He tried then, but no luck. "Edward up for baseball?"
"As long as we use the hard bat and I get to hit first!" Edward said.
"B-b-b-but," Emmett pouted.
"No buts!"
Rosalie stood up and walked in and took the salsa from the boys. "No baseball! It's not storming." She tried again. "Okay baseball it is."
Carlisle ran in. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO OOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO OOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO OOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO O OOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO OOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He grabbed the salsa and hugged it. "I-won't-give-up-on-my-patient!" He took a breath during each word. He tried again, "Not baseball! Tee-Ball!!!!"
"HOLD ON JUST A MINTUNE!" Emse said and grabbed the salsa, "I paid for this and for god dam sake were going to eat it." She twisted the top, "I'll go get the bat."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO OOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bella yelled. "You were twisting it the lid wrong." She twisted it and the lid came off. "See."
"Bella?"
"Yes, Edward?"
"How long did you know?" He asked.
"Hmmmmmm…Ummmmm… Errrrrrr… Well…"
"Bella!"
"When you first tried," she smiled.
Edward turned to Alice and yelled, "YOU SAW!"
"Yep," she said cheerfully.
"Let go back to the movie," Bella said and began walking to the couch, but of course, Bella tripped. "Oh shit!" She looked and saw the lovely Rosalie and ugly color red. The salsa was all over her.
"YOU CLUSMY HUMAN!" Rosalie shirked.
Bella ran behind Edward. "Yikes."
Edward glared at Rosalie, "Go clean up, then, we'll see."
Rosalie growled and ran up stairs.
"What does she want to do to me, Edward?" Bella asked.
"You don't want to know," he said and picked Bella up and ran. Next thing Bella knew she was outside.
"Eddie, please?" Bella begged.
"What did you call me?"
"Eddie."
"Don't call me Eddie."
"Fine!"
Rosalie walked over, "BELLA!"
"Oh shit," she tripped again, knocking Rosalie into the stream.
"GOD DAMNIT, BELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Rosalie, not Bella, she a mortal. Give your revenge to Emmett," he suggested.
"Fine!" She stormed off, but before knocking, both, Edward and Bella into the stream.
"Well, Edward, want to go have those chips?"
Edward stared at her.
"What!?!?!? I'm hungry!"
