Pan awoke to the unholy glare of the afternoon sun. He had slept in again. The night before he had sent the boys off to an aimless scavenger hunt. It was pleasure night, to which he disclosed to the boys as a "Pan and Wendy only game," effectively making Wendy blush a brilliant shade of red.
They spent the night traversing through third base at an awkward snail's pace. Pan had exhausted the first fifteen minutes fumbling with Wendy's bra, the only bra to ever set foot on the island and the one bra she had on when she arrived. Pan had then decided that bras did not belong in Neverland, and commanded Wendy to set those evil breast baskets ablaze when they were done. Wendy had laughed then at the thought, oblivious to Pan's seriousness, and shrugged off her bra with one swift motion. From there, Pan's memories were hazy. He could only pull out bursts of images and sounds, all of which suddenly had him aching below once more.
He rolled out of bed to immediately set eyes on a ribbon of pale pink lace peeking out from under the bed. He smiled mischievously and pulled it out. Wendy's not here to protect you now, infernal hosiery, I will send you back to the gates of hell. He forced the bra into one of his pockets under his shirt and set off to find Wendy. It was a funny thing arousal, the more you fed it, the hungrier it got.
"Oh please, Wendy, we must know the ending!" Tootles cried.
"Well, I'm trying to, but you all agreed it would be a participatory story! We can't have an ending without the pink turtle." As she said this, she had the twins standing together as a double headed cat, Nibs as Dr. Walrus, and even Felix had been a great sport, allowing himself to be Johnny the Wanderer.
Pan had finally found them, all in a circle surrounding Wendy and the story actors. He crossed his arms, "So this is where all of you had run off to."
"Wendy's telling us a story!" Tootles cried, "But we need a pink turtle!"
Pan briefly smiled at Tootles in acknowledgement then walked over to Wendy. "Wendy, I need you to settle some urgent matters."
"You can't seriously be proposing I leave these boys without the ending to their story, are you?" Wendy accused.
Pan looked around to discover himself surrounded by frowning faces. He huffed and sat beside her. "No, of course not." He mumbled.
"Now, where were we?" Wendy turned to the boys.
"The pink turtle!" Curly called excitedly.
"Ah, but we still need a pink turtle to finish the story. Come on now, one of you boys must volunteer. Just because it's pink that doesn't mean it's only for girls." Wendy read the minds of the lost boys.
"Hurry on now, one of you volunteer!" Pan snapped.
"Oh dear, we don't have a pink turtle." Wendy frowned.
Felix, in a ridiculous spike of generosity, spoke up "I could just be the pink turtle, I mean..."
"Why thank you, dear Felix, but you've been doing such a great job as Johnny the Wanderer I can't possibly have you replaced." Felix nodded with the same serious face he wore when taking orders from Pan. Internally, he felt pride wash over him.
"What about you, Curly?" Wendy asked.
"Uhhh... It just wouldn't be real, Wendy." He lifted his bulging stomach for emphasis, "This can't possibly fit into those tiny shells."
"Oh, but that's not important-"
"Enough!" Pan stood up abruptly and gathered gasps from every direction. "Clearly," Pan stood up, "I must be the pink turtle."
Wendy held back a giggle. "Take those cherries over their Peter, and pop them in your mouth."
"I'll pop your cherry, bird." Pan retorted just loud enough for only Wendy to hear.
Wendy cleared her throat, despite turning into a deep shade of red, she poised to go on. "Well, as I said, the double-headed cat was unconscious, as was Dr. Walrus. Only Johnny the Wanderer had his eyes open, but his from his neck down was paralyzed by those nasty dewgel berries. He then saw a pink turtle slowly crawling its way toward him."
Pan sighed and got on his knees. He held two cherries in his mouth and made his way toward Felix.
"As the pink turtle approached, Johnny noticed that it was chewing some healing cherries at a very slow pace." Pan narrowed his eyes at Wendy as he pieced together the information. He groaned and began gnawing at the cherries slowly. "Johnny then called out to the pink turtle and asked him if he had anymore cherries."
"Pink turtle, have you any more cherries?" Felix called out to Pan, he tried his best to swallow the developing lump in his throat out of excitement.
"Unfortunately, the pink turtle, still chewing slowly, did not have any cherries left and shook his head no." Pan shook his head violently, just beginning to pass by Felix, hoping to the heavens the Pink Turtle ends his encounter with Johnny there. "Johnny, pressured by the urgency of the situation for the evil panther was sure to be closing in soon, pleaded the turtle to give him the cherries in his mouth to cure his paralysis." Pan's eyes shot Wendy a murderous glare.
"Oh, pink turtle, please let me have the cherries in your mouth. I'm paralyzed and may soon be vanquished if I cannot get up and help my friends out of here." Pan froze in his tracks, acutely aware that all eyes were on him, this included Felix whose expression was oddly suggestive. "Please Mr. Turtle, feed me the cherries from your mouth." Felix's voice shook in agitation, his expression now shifted to feed me the cherries, damn you.
Pan made his way toward Felix, whose mouth was ready and open for him. He then clamped one eye shut and scrunched his nose. He hovered his lips closely over Felix's and spewed out the contents of his mouth. Felix, for dramatic effect (or so he told himself), lifted his head up ever so slightly and met Pan's lips with his. Before Pan could even process it, Felix's tongue dove into him (because Johnny needs as much healing cherry as he could get, paralysis was no picnic after all). Wendy feigned a giggle, although now she'd wished she was Johnny and cursed Felix for abusing the story as such. Pan pulled away and got off his knees then decided the story needed an abrupt end.
"Alright, Johnny gets healed, has his friends get up and escapes from the cheeta-
"Panther" Wendy interjected.
"Panther. The end. Come on Wendy." Without her permission, Pan takes Wendy's forearm and leads her back to the treehouse as the lost boys groaned, Felix being the loudest.
Wendy giggled as Pan pulled her away, "I'll see you later boys, play nice!" She called out as they disappeared behind the thicket.
"Laugh all you want, Darling, but I've already handed over your tit bearers to the Indians. They would have sacrificed it to the fertility goddess by now."
