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Residents of Hogwarts as sung by Peeves

Ahem. Phhhbbbbiiittttt!

0o0o0o0o0

McGonagall, self righteous cat

Braggs about every Gryffindor brat

Head won't fit in a witch's hat

Can she walk through a door?

No! She's way too fat!

0o0o0o0o0

Weasley

How measly

Possessions antique

All red hair

And brains rare

A horrid physique

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Potter, Potter

What a rotter

Took out a girl

And then forgot her

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Professor Albus Dumbledore

Hogwarts little sugar hoar

Teeth are rotten to the core

Gives a speech Oh! What a bore!

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Draco Malfoy

Daddy's boy

Killing mudbloods

Greatest joy

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Severus Snape

The greasy git

Has never possessed

An ounce of wit

Glares until

His students split

Ain't worth a thing

Without his Potions kit!

0o0o0o0o0

I am sorry; this rendition of The Residents of Hogwarts has been interrupted indefinitely due to the lack of the performing poltergeist, Peeves.

We have no knowledge of the identity of the individual or individuals who have banished Hogwarts' resident poltergeist, but we have found evidence that the guilty party/parties is either fluent in the art of or has access to rare potions as a Poltergeist Dispelling Potion was found smeared over every entry way into Hogwarts.

If you have any information leading to the identification and/or capture of the guilty party/parties please post the information via owl to the Department of Afterlife Legalities and Rights, office 67, Ministry of Magic.

Thank you,

Alder Woldretch

AN: Ahem. Okay, not my normal style. I had an idea that would not leave me alone until I wrote it. Ah, all poems are original…by me. Um…please don't kill me?