Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Universe is the sole property of J.K. Rowling. I claim nothing.

A/N: This is my first fanfic, so be gentle, but please review. This story is meant to intertwine with Rowling's original work, so there will be some of the original dialogue.

Secret Love

"For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are those 'It might have been.'"
- John Greenleaf Whittier

Prologue

Four Letter Words

Hermione sat hidden in a dark corner during the Gryffindor celebration party. It was difficult enough for her to feign enthusiasm at these events as it was, let alone with the knowledge that the one she loved was wrapped so tightly around someone else. Thinking of this, Hermione reflexively turned towards where everyone else in the room was facing, towards Lavender and Ron. The sight of them in this position, so openly displaying the affection that Hermione was dying to display was enough to bring tears to her eyes. Just then, Harry walked through the portrait hole.

Oh no! I don't want Harry to see me like this.

Hermione waited until Harry was distracted by the disgusting display of teenage lust in the room before she quickly disappeared through the portrait hole. She took a few deep breaths to steady herself from what she had seen—trying to convince herself that it wasn't true, that it couldn't be true. The person she loved would never do this to her, not intentionally. There must be some secret reason. Renewed cheers and clapping flowed through the wall shaking Hermione out of her reverie. She decided that she'd try to find someplace to hide before she came undone. She found an empty classroom with relief as the tears started to stain her cheeks.

"No, I can't do this right now," she told herself. "I should work on my Transfiguration. Exams are almost here and I haven't spent nearly enough time on Transfiguration."

She said this but the tears were still coming. She tried to ignore them as she began sprouting tiny little birds out of the end of her wand. Just as they began to twitter around in midair, Harry walked into the classroom.

"Hermione?" he said, looking concerned. He gaped in awe at her yellow birds before quickly turning his attention back to her.

"Oh, hello, Harry," she said in a brittle voice. "I was just practicing."

"Yeah . . . they're — er — really good. ..." said Harry. It was obvious to Hermione that Harry had no idea what to say in these types of situations, but she didn't really feel in the mood to make up for his shortcomings.

"Ron seems to be enjoying the celebrations," she said, trying to mask the crack in her voice.

"Er . . . does he?" said Harry.

Merlin's beard, what kind of idiot do you take me for? I mean really. "Does he…?" If I didn't know how bloody well good you are at Defense Against the Dark Arts, I'd hex you.

"Don't pretend you didn't see him," said Hermione in exasperation. "He wasn't exactly hiding it, was — ?"

The door behind them burst open. To their horror, Ron came in, laughing, pulling Lavender by the hand. "Oh," he said, drawing up short at the sight of Harry and Hermione.

"Oops!" said Lavender stiffening at the sight of Hermione, and she backed out of the room, giggling awkwardly. The door swung shut behind her.

There was a horrible, swelling, billowing silence. Hermione was staring at Ron, who refused to look at her, but said with an odd mixture of bravado and awkwardness, "Hi, Harry! Wondered where you'd got to!"

Hi, Harry? Hi, Harry?! Is that all you have to say for yourself you blubbering dunderhead?!

Hermione slid off the desk, anger building inside her at what Ron had done with Lavender. The little flock of golden birds continued to twitter in circles around her head so that she looked like a strange, feathery model of the solar system.

"You shouldn't leave Lavender waiting outside," she said quietly, but with a murderous tone. "She'll wonder where you've gone." You blithering, good-for-nothing, arrogant fool, she wanted to add but instead walked very slowly and erectly toward the door. She recounted at least twenty more horrendous names for Ron before she got there then she turned around violently and pointed her wand at his face.

"Oppugno!" she shouted, as her anger finally peaked. She sent the group of birds straight for Ron's face in a blaze of glory and wrenched the door open without a backward glance.

Outside, Lavender was wringing her hands together and staring at the floor, obviously feeling guilty.

"Hermio--," she managed as Hermione stumbled through the door.

"Just save it, Lavender. Not here; not now. Not with your new boy-toy in the next roo—"

She was interrupted by the quick movement of Lavender towards her.

Hermione backed away from her in a huff, knocking Lavender's outstretched arm out of the way and leaving it hanging in midair. She could feel the sting of new tears forming on the corners of her eyelids—squinting, she willed the tears to banish.

Oh no…not now.

But it was too late. Her eyes began to overflow from sheer feeling. The tears leaked down across her already flushed cheeks leaving thin tracks as they went. Hermione wanted to brush them away, to turn away, but she knew that this would risk encouraging more betrayal from her emotions.

Hermione stared at Lavender with loathing, embarrassment, and betrayal reflected in her eyes. How could someone who had told her time and again that they loved her, truly loved her, do this to her? How could Lavender deceive her this way? And with Ron. Of all the people in this school—no, on this Earth, why Ron?

"You lied to me," was all she managed to say. "You led me on. You made me believe that you loved me." Hermione almost choked on the word.

The tears were coming harder now, but she was past the point of caring. She wanted to scream, to hit, to curse. She wanted to curse them all for making her feel this way. For betraying her this way. Hermione's breaths became much more rapid and she held her fists tightly, allowing her fingernails to dig into her skin.

"Hermione, you know it isn't like that," Lavender said quietly, taking a few small steps forward. "You know I don't feel for him like I do for you."

Lavender looked pleadingly into Hermione's eyes, as if she were willing her to understand a deeper meaning. Hermione looked away, she didn't much feel like being fed anymore lies today.

"Can't we talk about this later tonight after you've had a chance to cool down and process?"

"No, Lavender. I don't think so. I don't think that there is any amount of processing that could make up for what you have done to me."

Hermione looked at Lavender's face, searching for any hidden meaning or reason for her behavior. She found nothing but Lavender, the person she loved. Hermione tried not to notice the pinkness of Lavender's lips or the softness of her curls as they fell loosely around her face. Hermione tried not to notice the tears falling silently down Lavender's plump cheeks or the eyes that swirled dangerously, deep and blue as the seas.

They locked eyes and were silent for moments or minutes before Lavender ventured a hand to Hermione's cheek and gently wiped the tears away. Her hand lingered there, linking them together in electricity and then slowly, she smoothed Hermione's long bangs behind her ear.

Hermione jumped slightly at the contact, feeling relief surge through her, in spite of herself. The smell of Lavender's skin was intoxicating and her touch always left Hermione feeling empty when it was gone. Like a part of her was gone. She nodded her head, defeated, before backing away.

Lavender exhaled slowly, and with obvious relief.

"Did it have to be Ron…?" Hermione asked nervously.

"You know he's the only one stupid enough to believe me," Lavender returned with a smile. "Come to my room tonight; let me explain everything before you cast me aside so completely, 'Mione."

Hermione felt a small smile betray her lips. Lavender always knew the right things to say to calm her down.

"Tonight," she said softly and then turned and left the scene.

A few moments later, Ron exited the room with Harry looking triumphant and grabbed Lavender by the hand.

"I'm tired," Lavender said, pulling her hand away. "I think I'm going up to the girl's dormitory. Goodnight."

Ron stared after her as Lavender ran off in the direction of the Gryffindor common room. He shrugged his shoulders and followed, oblivious to what had just happened.