Mikasa stood in a field of red- red as far as the eye could see.

Red; the color that had once brought her hope in this dreary monochrome world now brought her nothing but empty, dark despair.

It wasn't the red itself that bothered her, it was the endless pile of half-eaten soldiers and forgotten organs of her fellow comrades. People that she had come to know.
She was the only one left alive in this terrible carnage.

Finally, her legs gave out underneath her as silent tears slipped from her eyes.
They come slowly at first- slipping down her cheeks one at a time until her quiet, muffled sobs became harsh, hoarse cries.
No one could hear her. Not when they were all...

Dead.

Mikasa forces the tears to stop as she rises on unsteady legs. Her clothes stick to the sticky, drying red blood of her comrades.

It was all she could do not to flinch.

She starts walking, forcing herself to think, 'Calm down, Mikasa. Just breathe. Focus on putting one leg in front of the other.'
And that is exactly what she does.
She concentrates on walking and just trying to breathe in the sticky, sour air.
Mikasa was only half aware of where she was going. She was trying to find the rest of the Survey Corps. They had to be fine.
'They need to be fine.' Mikasa thought, a grim expression on her usually calm face.
She passed by corpse, after corpse, after bloody, torn-up corpse.

She almost could not keep moving. But she had to. To keep walking, to keep surviving, to simply just breathe so that she could see Eren again.
Yes, Eren was the only thing she had to keep her functioning. Otherwise, she would have given up by now- would have ended up dying a horrible death like everyone else had-

'Don't think about that!' she mentally scolded herself.

She lifts her head up slightly when she hears the thundering of hooves and she freezes- staying completely still. She knew it was the Survey Corps and that she should be running towards them to check if Eren was safe.
Yet, she was also terrified. Anything could have happened to Eren. And although she vowed to keep him safe, she had lost track of him when he had raced to save Connie.

That was the last time she saw Eren.

Looking up again, Mikasa realized the horses were a lot closer. Her eyes widen with hope as she scans the riders, looking for a familiar pair of turquoise hues admist the many shades of browns, blacks, and grays that most of the Corps had.
Her heart stop as she realizes that Eren wasn't there.

Her eyes scanned the group of people again and again, refusing to give up until she saw Eren.
Panic wells up inside her and she feels her legs move against her will, forcing her to run, run, RUN.

Lance Corporal Rivaille swung his legs off his horse when Mikasa bolts towards him and grabs his collar, glaring down at the shorter man with steely, dark gray eyes,
"Where. Is. He." she demands, her voice rough from having screamed so much.

Rivaille shoves her away from him and regards her with stormy eyes, "Dead." he said, blunt as usual.

A wave of feelings crash over her and she clenches her trembling hands into fists, "Tell me where he is." Mikasa says, struggling to keep her voice down.
She didn't believe it. She refused to-!

Until Rivaille pulled out a pristine white cloth, now reduced to rags and stained with blood.
Mikasa casts a wary glance at Rivaille before taking the package with shaky hands.

Lifting up the corners of the cloth revealed-

"No." Mikasa whispers in a voice she can no longer control.

In her hands was the very turquoise eyes she had been so desperate to find in the crowd.
This time she does not cry. She only stands still, as if frozen in time. She doesn't speak, doesn't move.

Mikasa is suddenly brought back to life as if the play button had been pushed and she falls.
The Corporal catches her and wraps her up in a tight embrace as if he were saying, 'I know.'
Mikasa does not try to stop her tears this time.
She lets every tear fall.

Tears full of regret, grief, guilt, and self-hatred for not being able to protect the only brother she had ever had.

Rivaille only continues to hold the broken girl in his arms, which Mikasa is grateful for. The Corporal was trying to keep her together and she silently thanked him for that.
They stay like that for what seems like hours, just the two of them, with Mikasa sobbing into the Corporal's shirt and Rivaille collecting the broken pieces of Mikasa so that she remains whole. So that she could be mixed. It gave Rivaille a distraction- a purpose.

And despite what had happened, they can't help but stay there until the tears had stopped and the moment had been left abandoned.