When You Know aka Circles
By: Athrun Yuy
Summary: McShep Est. PG-13. When given a break from their normal everyday crazy lives, Rodney steps back to reflect.
Disclaimer: I don't own them but if I did John & Rodney would be together forever.

AN: I apologize in advance for this one. It didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, but since I can do no more to it, I figured you guys can be the judge of it. Please review, and any mistakes, cause we all know there will be some, I apologize for them too. :0)

Rodney stands alone off to the side of the ongoing party the natives insisted upon throwing them to celebrate their newly formed friendship. To his great surprise the mission wasn't so bad for once. The people of P3x-7932 greeted them openly and without sharp pointy weapons too. All and all, no threat came to them and it was a breath of fresh air, and a well needed break from their normal missions.

He leans against a large oak looking tree, watching contently as the women and men dance, drink and laugh all around. Night had fallen a while ago leaving only the dancing light from the bon fires scattered around the area. Off in the distance flickers of light dash about the black sky in warning of an up and coming storm. Nobody around seems to take notice, all having fun and enjoying the festivities. Normally, at any sign of a storm Rodney would get anxious; the memory of the last storm he had been in remaining sharp in his mind. But John was here and in knowing that, Rodney felt calm and safe.

Off to his right he can see Ronon and Teyla laughing and talking with the group they are sitting with. Ronon looks years younger and finally relaxed. It was a good look for him and Rodney only wishes that he had a camera. These are the times that he secretly cherishes.

He had stepped aside hours ago unbeknown by the rest of his team to reflect. Even though he kept an eye on Ronon and Teyla, most of his attention went to John. He watches him in a tunnel vision. That was just how John had become to him, the center of his universe; everything else disappears when he is in sight. John looks happy, smiling and laughing his ridiculous laugh he has that always makes Rodney's insides bunch. It is by no means an attractive laugh, but it is one of those things that Rodney has come to treasure. He'd give his soul up just to hear that laugh.

Time just stands still. The cool summer breeze whips threw his hair and brings a new sensation along with it, but he can't put his finger on it. His thoughts linger on the image John projects; he wants to remember this sight and dream about it later.

Rodney is so wrapped up in his thoughts that when he is approached by one of the villagers, he jumps in surprise. "May I offer you a dance?" The pretty girl with long brown hair asks him.

"I, um, no thank you." He remembers to stay polite even though it isn't his usual response after being startled. "I don't really dance."

"Then care for some company?" She asks stepping even closer to him suggestively.

Rodney is taken back at her come on, not being the one usually asked for such a thing. She is after all a beautiful woman and he'd be nuts to not jump at the chance, but shortly after starting this thing, whatever it is with Sheppard, he hasn't been interested in anyone else, or even before that if he remains truthful. How could he be when he got the hottest being in two galaxies within his grasp?

Without his knowledge his gaze goes back to watching John nearly forgetting the girl before him. She looks over her shoulder and sees what he's looking at and smiles happily. "I see." She says taking a step back from him to a more casual distance.

Rodney looks at her startled once again. "See what?" He asks looking at her truly confused.

"Never question whether you are in love or not, because if you are you do not need to ask." She advises turning so that she can see John and to get Rodney to have a look again.

"Excuse me?" But Rodney looks up anyway and is once again captivated by the light dancing across John's features. He can't hold in the sigh of content at such a sight. Before he can get an answer the girl walks away without saying another word to him. With a shrug, Rodney leans comfortably back against the tree and watches the rolling clouds come closer and closer.

Rodney looks up at the sky going deeper in thought. He recalls their first kiss, and even though it was awkward, it still remained the best first kiss he had ever received. They were off world when it had happened. They had just escaped from a two day hell and were being tracked by guards with weapons in which they had none. John had pulled them into an alcove as one neared. Rodney's nerves were shot at that point and he was beginning to panic. John did the only thing he could at the time to quiet him; he pulled him into a deep lingering kiss, kissing him till the threat was gone. Rodney remembers the immediate calm that had come over him; instantly he was safe and as long as he was with John nothing interfered with that. What was a quieting tactic turned into more after they had recovered from the mission and was safely home on Atlantis.

He craved him, everything about him, even that awful laugh. John has become the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up, the only thing he thinks about when he's awake, and the last thing he thinks about before he goes to bed. John Sheppard is truly special, a one of a kind; the spark to his life. To lose that would be unbearable. Now having him here safe and protected, Rodney thanks whoever is watching out for them, that they at least have tonight.

To his surprise, the girl from before comes to him once again. "Have you received your answer?" She asks making no sense to Rodney what so ever and he tells her this in a stare. "It is real." She advises looking over at John as he smiles at something someone had said to him. "What you feel, is true and precious." John happens to look over at them catching Rodney's eye making his smile grow bigger the longer they hold their gaze. It doesn't last long though; as Rodney is smiling back at him, John's attention is brought back to the conversation at hand. "He as well. He holds that spark that will last forever."

Rodney looks to her blank faced as he tries to take in her words. "I love him; don't I?" he asks unsure if that was the right word to describe the intense feels growing within him. At her nod, Rodney smiles brilliantly wanting to laugh at how simple the answer had been. "I love that stupid flyboy over there." He laughs outright at the mere thought of it. Never had he ever dreamed of falling so deeply for anyone and now he knows he has. It was amazing and scary at the same time. As quickly as the happiness came, the fear consumed him even faster.

"Don't be afraid." The girl, whom he hadn't even bothered to ask her name, says as if reading his mind. He is shocked once again by the words of wisdom as she appears to be at a young age but despite this he is determined to hear her advice, having no one else to go to at the moment, he tells himself. "He is not an easy catch." Her observation drawls a nod of agreement from Rodney. "But I can see he is well worth the fight; a fight that you have won full heartedly." She places a hand upon his arm as Rodney takes another look back at John and sees that he is watching him with concern. He must have noticed his fear and is about to come to his rescue, but is stopped by Rodney's smile, telling him it was ok without the use of words. "Do you see it now? I fear for anyone he tries to do you harm."

"He is rather protective of his team." Rodney logically tries to persuade her, just in case she is mistaken.

"He is protective of you most." She corrects squeezing his arm harder. "I have a gift for you."

"Oh?"

"It is a pendent my people give to one another when they have found the one." She says pulling two chains from her pocket with small coins sized silver circles hanging from them. "If you love someone," She starts placing one of the pendants around his neck for him, "do not put their name in a heart because hearts can be broken; instead put their name in a circle, because circles go on forever."

Rodney is amazed by the detailing within the circle. It was simplistic in nature but the engraving meant the world to him. It simply said 'John'. Rodney ran a finger over the letters a few times before looking up to see the smile upon the girls face. "Thank you." He whispers untrusting of his voice to say more as the tears of happiness threaten to fall. He thinks that he has had too much to drink for his emotions to be running this high and from such a simple gesture but whatever the reason behind it, the emotions were still there.

"Live well, my friend." The girl cups his face for a moment and Rodney nods back to her afraid to say anything with all of these new yet familiar emotions rushing through him. With one last smile the girl walks away leaving him to his thoughts once again.

He is happy for possibly the first time in his life, truly, 100% happy. At the first trickle of rain Rodney notices the storm has moved a lot closer than he had realized; but right now the rain was welcomed. As everyone else heads for shelter Rodney stands out in the rain tilting his head back and smiles letting the water glide down him. Everything is perfect; the sky, the smell, the air. He was in love with John Sheppard! He wants to scream it out at the top of his lungs but he was just so content having the water wash down his face and the smell of a summer shower lingering in his senses.

"McKay!" John's shout over the down pour and the rumbling thunder almost goes unheard. Seeing Rodney just standing there truly relaxed made John watch in wonder of what could have come over him. "Rodney, we need to get inside."

Rodney looks to him and smiles. "In just a minute." Rodney takes John's hand knowing that he's looking around for anyone watching, but Rodney doesn't care. They have never been big on PDA's and this simple act out in the open was something new. "Can you feel it?" He asks tilting his face up again to the sky.

"Yeah, I'm all wet to prove it." Comes Johns reply. "Rodney? Are you ok, buddy?"

The concern in his voice makes Rodney look back at him. "Better than ok, in fact, I'm really happy."

"That's good and all but can you be happy inside?" John gives Rodney's hand a pull but Rodney doesn't budge; instead he turns to face him and looks down at their joined hands.

"I want to tell you something, please?" He asks hoping to have his patience for a little while longer. John nods worriedly. "I've been thinking a lot, about me and you, and I can't help it anymore." John reaches out to touch his face in a caress, worry etched in his eyes before moving them down to his arms in a more casual touch. "It's going to be ok. And it's ok with me if you don't."

"What is it Rodney?"

Rodney cups Johns face and smiles lovingly as John's hands hold his arms in place. "I love you John Sheppard, with all of my being. Thank you for giving me this gift." He tells him before leaning in and kissing John's breath away. John is stun. Rodney took the words right out of his heart and brought them out to life. Neither of them has ever been good at anything that has to do with emotions. John would never have thought that Rodney would say those three words first but he is grateful that he has and full heartedly returns the feeling.

As Rodney pulls away he tugs on John to get him to go inside but John pulls him back and kisses him as passionately as he can hoping he can convey the words back to him. Around them cheers and claps override the sounds of the storm but neither John nor Rodney take any mind. It is just the two of them wrapped up in their own little universe and in this moment they are one. When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with a person, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. And so they kiss, out under the darken sky, rain washing over them with new people and friends watching as they do just that.