AN: Long time no update. Another one- shot with Childlike!Dougie (surprise, surprise). Short and (hopefully) sweet. Well it's not that short but... y'know. Request, review. Loves ya. XxX


Harry was the first to hear it.

"What was that?" He questioned. Danny and Tom looked around, confused- and then the noise came again.

After a few minutes of listening to the repetetive sound, Tom followed it to the kitchen, where Dougie was sitting in the centre of the floor.

"Dougie, are you-"

"Tchoo!"

"...Okay?"

Dougie looked up. His eyes were slightly red rimmed, and his cheeks were flushed.

"Tchoo!"

"Okay," Harry said, appearing behind Tom. "That's the cutest sneeze I've ever heard."

"That's a sneeze?" Danny asked from the hall. "Sounds more like a choking kitten."

"Tchoo!"

"Why are you sneezing?" Tom asked, amused, as he walked in to the kitchen.

"I don't- Tchoo!" Dougie sniffed, looking up at him with confusion. "...know."

"Are you allergic?"

"To- tchoo!- what?"

"Nah, he can't be." Danny said. "We ain't got any new foods or anything around, he's never been allergic to anything here before."

"Tchoo!"

"A cold, maybe?"

"Tchoo!"

"Could be, he was coughing a lot earlier."

"Tom?"

"Yeah, Doug?"

"It- tchoo!- It hurts..."

"Straining your throat mate. Want a drink?"

"Tchoo!"

"You sure that's wise?" Harry said unsurely.

"Worth a try."

Tom filled a glass with water and handed it to Dougie, who swallowed some before placing the glass on the floor next to him and gazing at Tom's knees in front of him. His shoulders spazzed a bit; the other three took a step back.

"Dougs, you-"

"Ah." Dougie blinked, then squeezed his eyes shut. "Ah- ah- TCHOO!"

Water sprayed over the kitchen; Dougie sniffed loudly and wiped an arm across his nose before looking up at Tom from under his eyelashes, apologetic.

"Sorry- TCHOO."

"Yeah." Tom grimaced then looked around. "What are we gonna do?"

Harry and Tom stood watching Dougie for a while in silence- silence broken by the occasional 'TCHOO'- then, out of nowhere, Danny ran in with a cushion, threw himself on Dougie, and pressed the cushion onto his face.

"Danny! What the fuck?" Tom yelled.

"Suffocate him!" Danny cried happily, straddling Dougie who was now on his back. "He can't sneeze if he can't breath!"

"He can't live if he can't breath!"

"All in the name of recovery, Tom, my good man."

Harry strode over and attempted to tug Danny off, aided by Dougie's kicking legs and flailing arms; Danny, however, just pushed down harder on the cushion. Suddenly, Dougie went limp.

After two seconds of frozen, scared silence (Tom's thoughts: OhShit, DannyKilledHim.) There was a jerk from Dougie, and an extremely muffled "Tchoo."

Harry lugged Danny off, and Dougie gasped for air, punctuated regularly by sneezes and sniffles. While Harry scolded the grinning Danny, Tom crouched down in front of Dougie and sighed. Dougie looked at him before sneezing. Tom grabbed a towel and passed it to Dougie, who obediently put it over his mouth, then grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the living room, where he sat him on the sofa.

"Sit there," He instructed. "I'm calling the doctor."

Dougie sighed/sneezed, and settled back, preparing for the next bout of painful sneezes.

Ten minutes later, Tom put the phone down.

"He said you've probably got a cold, mixed with an allergic reaction to the stuff in Autumn air. Apparently you need to just sit it out, and..."

Tom trailed off as he walked in. Dougie was asleep- yet he was still sneezing. Light snores were punctuated by small 'Tchoo!'s and snuffles.

"I swear to God, there is something wrong with him." Harry muttered as he passed by.

"Tchoo!"