It´s kind of an AU story, but there are some similarities to season 2. This happens before he meets Emma in the Enchanted Forest! She is still in Storybrooke :) I don´t know if I will write more or not, we shall see!
He didn't know when it started. It was one night. He was drinking himself to oblivion. Like usually. He would leave the tavern at the middle of the night and go straight to his cabin, trying to sleep and with that the nightmares would appear again. It didn´t matter how much he was drinking, he couldn´t safe himself from the nightmares. He just wanted to erase all the images in his head, his father, Milah and Liam…he tried everything. But it was like the universe was constantly trying to remind him of his sad tragic life. It hunted him. And he thought that maybe drinking would help or even by bringing whores back to his ship, but no. The minute he started to fall asleep, everything crashed.
And then he saw something else. A light. A saviour? He wouldn´t know. The dark images changed immediately and showed him images of a foreign face. A woman. Long fair hair with soft waves around her face. She had sea green eyes with a dangerous blue sparkle in it. If that was not tempting enough, she had the most beautiful smile he has ever seen. It was like the dark atmosphere around him would disappear and change into light colours. Colours he didn´t saw for a very long time. She was looking directly at him. She was smiling at him. It was for him. His body glue with heat. The face disappeared and everything turned dark. No, he thought, stay a little longer. Please stay. Give me your name. But she couldn´t hear him, she was long gone. The cold surrounded him again.
And then he awoke. His body was full of sweat. He couldn´t breath. The dream was so intense, he had to calm himself down. When he had his body full under control again, he stood up. He went straight to the door and opened it, to go to the main deck. He needed air. The air of the sea. Maybe, when he would breath the beautiful cold night air in, he would regenerate his body heat. Who was she? He thought after a while and looked longing into the sea. He wouldn´t know.
After this night, she would appear again. Night for night, hunting him. And every time he was close enough to catch her, she would just vanish. Rushing away from him, and leaving him alone.
One night he came earlier from the tavern, letting his men enjoy the company of the wenches there and let himself readying for bed. He couldn´t wait to sleep again, so he could see her face again. Maybe he could talk with her, he thought hopeful.
And when he was fast asleep in the land of the dreams, he saw her again. He could see the shape of her body, turned away from him. And looked at the view before her. The ocean. That was new. He never saw her there. It was always the same place for them, a dark tower with a small window with a view over an enchanted forest. It always seemed that she waited for him. Even if they never really talked, she was there waiting for him. And when she turned around, his heart started to beat like a hummingbird. He felt like it would jump out of his chest. But of course it didn´t happen. It was only a dream, it wasn´t real. Yet he never felt so alive in his whole life.
He went straight to her and remained still beside her. He didn´t turned his head to her. He just waited and looked at the ocean as well. He could see from the side of his eyes, that she was smiling.
"You know, that´s the first time I see you smile. How often I visited you, or should I say you haunted me, I never saw you smile. Not one tiny smile. You always look so sad, there is a melancholy to you, love. And it destroys me. But this. This makes me happy. I wanted to see your smile, since the first time I saw you. Even if I didn´t know you back then, it still would have made me the happiest men around the world." he said passionately.
It´s not like he waited for an answer, he knew that she wouldn´t answer him like always. But he still said it. He just wanted her to know that there was someone outside, who would have been happy to be around her, to stay with her. That there was someone who would always wait for her. Who would always try to make her smile. He didn´t know when it happened, but deep in his heart he knew that he fell in love with this phantom. It didn´t matter to him that he never heard her voice. They didn´t need words. After all she was like an open book to him. He could read her face and mimics, he knew how she felt. When she was sad, he wished to pick a flower and give it to her, to lighten up her face. She would be lovely with beautiful roses all around her hair. Aye, that she would. He thought, with a smile on his face.
And when she would smile like now, he would take her hand in his, and drag her to him. He would hold her tight against his body and dance with her around the darkness. So the light from her would shine around them. And he would feel all the warmness he didn´t feel like an eternity. He would be happy. They would be happy.
He knew that he didn´t have much time like usually. Before he could be dragged out of the dream, he started to speak.
"I would do anything, to let this be real. To feel your body around me in the real world, to hear your voice. To show you, how it feels to be around the ocean. I would take you anywhere you want and I would give you the world. But alas, this will never happen. If thats the only way I can see you, then so be it. I will come every night and haunt you. For you started it, when you lured me to you. You siren." with that she turned around to him. Looking at him shockingly, like she couldn´t understand why he would say such things to her. If only she would know, how much she meant to him. If only she could understand how special she was, he thought sadly.
"I don´t ask for anything from you, love. But I´m desperate to know it. Only one word. And if you don´t answer, I shall never ask again." he didn´t say it straight to her, he just let her take his words in. And when she nodded to him, he felt the strength to ask.
"Just give me your name. Please." he begged.
There was a complete silence for a moment. He didn´t dare to ask again. He just waited for her to answer. Or not. And when he looked at her face again, in her eyes. He saw that she was struggling to consider it. To brighten her mind and give her the courage to do it, he gave her his best charming smile. She seemed to relax after that, smiling back at him. She shook her head slightly, as if he said something stupid. It could be, he thought. How many times did we saw each other and I never asked for her name. Doesn´t someone ask right away, after they met someone new? You ask for their name. After all, how would you address them?
She looked down at the ground. Her cheeks were red. He wanted to play with one of her locks, but he didn´t want to push her, after his passionate speech. He didn´t want her to feel obligated to him, because of his undeniable feelings. As if she heard his inner tumult, she touched softly his hook with her right hand and looked deep into his eyes. And then he heard an angelstic voice. It was like someone was playing a beautiful strange melody on the violin. You don´t know the melody, yet it was like, you never heard something else in your entire life.
"Emma. It´s Emma." she said only. And he was dragged out from the dream.
He woke up. Recognizing his bedroom, he took sweaty the blanket away from his body and took a deep breath. His body was full of heat. He was burning. Burning on fire. Burning for her. He didn´t want to wake up. He wanted to go back and talk with her. And hear her voice again. He wanted to hear the beautiful melody again.
After looking for a long time at the dark room by himself, he realized that he was in love with her. He was in love with a ghost, he thought. And when he drifted off again, he said longingly a name. Far away.
Emma.
