Funny oneshot! Harry's crazy not-so-pleasant dream that may not have been a dream at all!
First Harry Potter fanfiction, so please don't be mean!
"Hey, Harry!" Ron said, shaking his friend awake. Harry slowly opened his eyes and sighed. It was pitch black in the room except for the candles that were already dangerously close to the curtains. (Why have curtains covering a window anyways when it's already pitch black?)
"What?" He said in an agitated voice. "Why are you wearing sunglasses?"
"Because it's dark in here." Okay. Wearing sunglasses in a dark room at night with curtains covering the windows for no apparent reason that would at any moment catch on fire because of the flickering fire for the candlelight. This was weird.
"Am I dreaming?"
"No, you're in a crazy fanfiction currently being written by none other than CyndarDragon herself. You see, she saw our movie--"
"We have a movie?"
"Man, you are slow."
"Huh?"
They looked blankly at each other. Though…you actually couldn't see Ron's eyes.
"--and now she's inspired to write! Heads up, we're forced for annoy you for twenty minutes straight nonstop!"
"I'm dreaming."
"O RLY?!" Someone said, coming into the room. It was Hermione, dressed in a black nightgown.
"Hermione? Why are you wearing black?"
"O RLY?!" She said, putting her hands on her hips.
"Do you say anything other than O RLY?!" Harry yelled, sitting upright in bed.
"O RLY?!"
"Okaaay?"
"O RLY?!"
"Stop that!"
"O RLY?!"
"STOP THE INTERNET ACRONYMS OF OH REALLY!"
"O RLY?! TTYL." With that she stormed out of the room.
"Well…that was weird." Harry said to himself, scratching the back of his head. He was surprised when Nevel came storming into the room with a random paper. It was a blank piece of copy paper with a big red 'F' in thick sharpie marker in the middle.
"I failed. How could I have let this happen?" He said, staring at the paper.
"It's not failure, it's redefined objectives." Ron said.
"That's uh…different." Harry said, scratching his head. Suddenly Nevel got angry and started saying a line from a show/movie that this author has no idea what the heck it came from.
"Hey look guy, I don't mean to rude, but I've got a busy girlfriend, a guy's who's pregnant, an idiot who's pet cat just died, and our worst enemy is hanging out inside our basement unsupervised. So I really, really, really don't have time for this right now!" There was an awkward silence.
"Uh, what was the part about the pregnant guy?"
"HE'S NOT PREGNANT! That's impossible!" Then Nevel sat down on Ron's bed and studied the large piece of printer paper which clearly and plainly only said 'F.'
"This is weird…am I like…dreaming or something?" Harry said to himself. Then suddenly a surfer dude (you guessed it) came in through the door with a blue surfboard wearing nothing but blue swim trunks. He put his hands on his hips and smiled with a sparkle coming off of his tooth. The girls in the background fainted along with the guys (?!).
"Who are you?" Harry asked, backing away a little his bed.
"Why, I'm Edward Cullen of course, the fictional character from Stephanie Meyer's book, Twilight."
"You're not Edward Cullen."
"…Yes I am."
"No you're not."
"DON'T JUDGE ME!"
"Uh, I'm not judging you…just…saying…you're not Edward Cullen." Harry said.
"Yes, he's not. But I am." Suddenly with a flash of lightning (DUH DUN DUUUUH!!!!) Edward Cullen appears. The girls and guys (?!) in the background fainted again to the ground.
"Edward Cullen?!" Harry exclaimed. "What the heck are you doing here?!"
"Because this is the author's first Harry Potter fanfiction and she can't think of anyone else to use other than me because she thinks Twilight rocks and way too overrated and thinks the flamers of Twilight need to something better and she doesn't really care about my long dialogue sentence that is obviously a giant run-on that would make her former English teachers want to fix it immediately but they're here so EAT IT SUCKA!"
Everyone currently at the moment looked like O_O because the *_* was already over with.
"FEAR DA EDWARD!" Edward said.
"MAKE IT STOP!" Harry screamed, covering his ears as everyone started talking to each other at the same time.
Turns out they were all were saying BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH just to annoy Harry.
Harry stood up and was about to walk out of the room until Draco Molfvoy or whatever the heck you spell the last name because CyndarDragon has no clue as to how to spell it showed up in the doorway with his wand out. He was challenging Harry, obviously.
"I challenge you to a duel…" He said, "of the Macarena Dance!!" Suddenly everyone started doing the Macarena and the disco ball which was not mentioned earlier because Hogwarts doesn't have disco balls started lightning up the room and the stone floor began a Dance Dance Revolution thing.
"O RLY?!" Hermione said, storming into the room again. She marched over to Harry, slapping him in the face.
"Ouch! What was that for?!"
"O RLY?! TTYL." She stormed out yet again.
Draco was still doing the Macarena.
Ron was still wearing his sunglasses.
Some random person kept on saying no.
This author is really lame at parody stories.
Make it stop.
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Some random person exclaimed.
Harry then found himself yelling, "YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Which would normally be exceptionally longer because 'yes' has one more letter as opposed to 'no.'
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He exclaimed again. "DON'T FALL INTO THE TWILIGHT BLACK VOID HARRY POTTER!!!!!!! YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT OUT ALIVE!!!! BLABLABLABLABALBALBALBALBALBALABAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Everyone then started running amok out of the room, leaving Harry alone with Draco would was still doing the Macarena.
"HELP!" He yelled, then watched Draco walk out, still dancing. "CYNDARDRAGON YOU ARE BAD AUTHOR AT PARODIES!!" He screamed at the computer monitor currently in front of the author.
"You think I am a bad author? YOU THINK I'M A BAD AUTHOR?!?!?!? I'M GONNA PUT YOU IN A PINK TUTU DRESS AND MAKE YOU A FAERIE PRINCESS!" (I know I spell faerie the British way.)
"What?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Stop making those really long words and stop using CAPS lock!"
"Wow. You know computers?"
"O RLY?!" Hermione yelled from across the hallway.
"MAKE IT STOP, CYNDARDRAGON!"
At this point the author is smiling.
Harry then sat down on his bed because this author told him to. Draco then came in again (still doing the Macarena) with Hermione who continuously yelled "O RLY?!" Over and over again. Ron was still wearing his sunglasses in the dark room that had curtains (make them black) covering the windows which doesn't make any since if it's already pitch black and in the middle of a hidden place which is really getting this lame story off track.
To make things even worse, Draco even starting yelling "SUPER TOILET!" Over and over again along with Hermione's "O RLY?!" which was getting really really rly rly rly rly old now with this author and her viewers.
"O RLY?!"
"SUPER TOILET!"
"O RLY?!"
"SUPER TOILET!"
"O RLY?!"
"SUPER TOILET!"
"O RLY?!"
"SUPER TOILET!"
"MAKE IT STOP!!" Harry yelled, then jolted upright in bed from an alarm clock. "What the heck?! I was just…dreaming?" He said, everything back to normal. Hermione and Draco and Ron (that sentence had too many 'ands' in it) were gone, the curtains were pulled back to let in the blinding white sun.
"Ack the sun." Harry emotionless much like Professor Snape.
"Harry, you okay?" Ron asked from his bunk above Harry.
"Yeah…I had the craziest dream." He answered, putting his hand on his head.
"No you didn't…." This author said in a eerie voice.
"Who's that?" Ron asked.
"IT'S CYNDARDRAGON!!!! RUN FOR LIVES!!!!!"
:)
Well, I hope that you all enjoyed my first Harry Potter fanfiction. I know…it's rather lame…but hey, parodies and spoofs allow you to do anything! By the way, if anyone wants it to NOT be a oneshot, just say so! I can always write more lame parodies!
Hope you enjoyed! (If it's possible….)
