The Disabled
30 years after Me Before You…
1
I was just getting off a bus, with its wheels grinding on the black ground and making the familiar squeaking noise. The sun was setting and light was dawning over my neighborhood as I silently counted the usual 150 steps home, banging my feet in my clumsy platform shoes.
Thomas's bicycle was no longer sprawled on the porch. No more mom and dads 'greetings as I creaked open the door and slipped inside the no-longer cozy house. No more Patrick rushing out and giving me high-fives, despite the fact that I discovered he recently divorced from his new girlfriend while I was having coffee in the shop across from his street. There was only me, with these four cold walls surrounding the small space that I called home, with no actual meaning.
I peeked into the fridge but it was empty, and I suddenly realized that I hadn't had any appetite at all, which was weird because I was often the one who stuffed mouthfuls of baked potatoes with strips of chicken coated in gravy and giving my silly smile to any family member that passed by thirty years ago.
Sighing, I decided to take a stroll, since the breeze was cool and I was in boredom. Kicking around pebbles and staring at my flower-laced shoes, I took turns without glancing up, letting the road intertwine and lead its way, being careful to stay on the curb. The smell of flowers floated in the air, with me dozing in it, lost in my thoughts like I was in a dream.
Wondering where all that scent came from, I glanced up, and there it was, the castle, the castle that attracted so many tourists, but also the castle that housed my almost lover, a despaired man who gave up his own life. A pang of sadness struck me in the heart, fading into the background over time, being replaced by a kind of emptiness, like you were the only person that was alive in this whole world.
And then came the screeching sound, a sound that was unmistakably made by a vehicle, heading towards me at an impossible speed, blurring my vision and making me stumble in my way. Following the sound were the blinding headlights, and then the crash.
Everything went black.
2
Patrick was flipping through the thick quadriplegic guidance book, which thumped whenever he turned a few pages. 'Jesus Christ, Lou, this is thick.'
'So you finally agreed then, after all those quarreling with my sister, to take care of me for the rest of my life, until I die?' 'Yes, Ma'am.' Patrick mocked while Lou laughed half-heartedly at her ex-boyfriend who once hurt her feelings by making fun of Will. Lou was eyeing Patrick, but the other already dove into the book, muttering to himself, 'Medical care: Spasm pills, antibiotics, temperature regulation…'
Lou wheeled her wheelchair and bumped Patrick in the thigh. 'Stop it, I know what medicines I should take. Treen already exchanged information with me firsthand. Secondly, I can still talk.'
Patrick put down the book and turned the radio on, only to hear the sounds of the radio cackling like an old woman. 'Oh, come on, you stupid freaking machine. Anyways, it's already noon. Time to make lunch. What do you prefer?' 'Anything, actually, I'm not really picky.' 'What if I mixed some grinded ants into your mashed potato?' 'Don't you dare…'
Smiling to himself, Patrick rolled up his sleeves to reveal his muscles, and then hopped to the kitchen. The banging of pots and pans echoed through the corridor, occasionally with the cussing intended for the wheezing steaming machine. Finally, after what seemed like an hour, a tray was hauled out on a piece of cloth. Then Patrick fed Lou forkful by forkful, sometimes spilling juice over Lou's flowery shirt, which made him slightly embarrassed.
After wiping Lou's mouth, Patrick fiddled for a plastic beaker, placing it on the hole made on the wheelchair. Lou remembered clearly that it was a hand down from Mrs. Traynor, along with the guidebook and other essentials. Teeth marks were etched into the mouth of the beaker randomly, creating a wild drawing that no one could possibly copy. The plastic was already a little bit old and yellow, along with the water lines that Lou once filled. The smell of expensive cedar-wood was still wafting in the air, as if Will always was there around the corner, waiting for Lou for a better life. Tears made their way through barriers of resistance and dark shadows, emerging into the sunlight, exposing themselves on Lou's cheek. Lou began sobbing, unable to control her feelings. After all those attempts of letting go, she failed. Such a lovely man, gone in a poof. Patrick looked concerned, although Lou doubted that.
'Is there anything I can do for you?'
'Pl-please wheel me to my room, can you?'
Patrick wheeled Lou to her room, and closed the door silently behind.
Lou remembered, her previous life, as if she was reborn after the death of Will. She recalled the days they went to the theatre, the pool, the museum, only to realize after all of those driving that there were no elevators for the disabled; she remembered the day of Fiona's wedding, which Will went bravely, congratulating his friend like nothing happened between them; she mourned for all those picnics in the sun, with mats sprawled on the green grass and the wind ruffling Will's hair. Then came pneumonia that swept Will of his chair and the visit to Florida, with all those tropical welcomes, along with that quarrel…
And in the end, in Switzerland, the last goodbyes, the last jokes and storytelling about their lives, all said farewell to Will, as if Lou had accepted his choice. The truth was that she didn't. Even though Will was physically disabled and couldn't make her tea, couldn't walk along her side by side, couldn't have a family, he still loved her like any other man would've, giving her hope to live on and continue her life. She was angry that Will have left behind all those beautiful places, all those wonderful people, all those happy moments and chose to live sleeping forever. Lou understood that quads live a painful life, that they have to get medication and checkups very often, they are not able to take care of themselves, and that they are disabled from a lot of activities, but that doesn't mean they don't have a chance of survival. She always said to Will 'hope in the future', but Will just sulked his head in his collar like a flower without any watering.
Now that Lou was like him, she felt his pain even more, when she wanted to hold a pen but the cap just clattered to the ground with an ugly noise, when she wanted to write but instead scribbled like a 3-year-old, when she wanted to go for a walk but she couldn't even feel her toes, when she wanted to go to the bathroom but instead had a bag dangling under her chair, when she wanted to pick up the things she knocked over but she herself fell face first onto the floor along with the wheelchair that crashed on top of her, when she wanted to go to the garden but got her wheels stuck in the mud. All every day activities became her desires.
A child glanced up from the TV screen in the crowded city of London, 2039. 'Mom, can I watch something else? This is too heartbreaking.' He picked up for the remote and switched to another channel. Little did he know, this story was really happening, in a parallel universe, on the other side of the world. Two lovers were ready to be reunited in heaven.
