'Oh, beware, my lord, of jealousy! It is the green-eyed monster, which does mock the meat it feeds on' – William Shakespeare, Othello
'Destroy everything you touch today
Destroy me this way
Anything that may desert you
So it cannot hurt you' – Ladytron, Destroy everything you touch
Chapter One: Power Struggle
"Who the hell was that?"
I was amazed that I'd managed to ask the question in the most collectively cool voice I could muster at that moment. Because I'd be lying if I said I wasn't lost for words, I'd be lying through my damn teeth. But lo and behold, I was standing there, as casually as possible, observing this bullshit laid out in front of me. I mean considering all the crap I've seen and done, nothing should surprise me, but it seemed that I was wrong.
It's not like I'm a bitter asshole, although some would disagree, but taking into account what was happening in front of me, I had every right to be annoyed. Pissed in fact.
The door slammed shut and Casey glared at me before heading towards the stairs. I followed her, just as determined as always.
Here's the thing, it was the first time in a very long time that I'd managed to get Kendra on her own with me. Like no fuckin' parents, no damn sibling, no nothing. I had spent one whole fuckin' month making sure that there was nothing planned for this day, nobody was meant to be here. Except me and Kendra. I'd somehow even found a French-speaking chick to go out with Sam and laugh at his not-so-funny attempt at humour. This way, there would be no chance of him barging in and ruining all my M rated, and extremely animalistic plans. But I had spent an awfully long time, and I mean a very AWFUL time without getting laid. I needed something to happen. That something was meant to happen tonight.
So imagine my surprise when I see Casey slamming her way into the house all wrapped around another body, with me not even being able to distinguish where her legs ended and his started. That's how bizarre the moment was. I felt like I'd woken up into another reality where Weasley and Brown were sucking face like eels. It's not like I cared who she was frolicking with. No. I didn't. But the fact of the matter was that because of her ridiculously inappropriate actions, I now had to leave my very hot, soon-to-be-girlfriend.
I mean, the girl was orgasmic hot.
And I wasn't there with her. No. I was following Casey, trying to barge up the stairs as steadily as possible with no luck. I was supposed to be the one getting some action for the night, not her. Goddamn it.
I mean…..what the fuck! I'd like to know how she achieved the impossible and got sexed up tonight.
I glared at the distance in between us. It was, for the time being, the silly barrier between myself and the answers I needed.
"Are you going to answer my question?" I barked out.
There went the indifferent attitude.
But knowing her there was no way in hell she'd let me off this easily. She wasn't going to give me an answer. But I wouldn't her let her know how desperate I was for the answer.
This was all because of stupid, annoying, goody-two shoes, Casey, who had decided to turn into a red-blooded temptress for the night.
And it pissed me off that she was so fucking good-looking. Not that I cared. Much. But I was following her, up the stupid stairs trying to figure out what the hell happened tonight, because oh, I don't know, perhaps it was to do with the slightly irritating notion that Casey happened to have a boyfriend, one she'd actually bought home for the night. Or at least for a few minutes and this was a fact that didn't settle well with me.
"It's none of your business." Casey exclaimed indignantly.
I rolled my eyes, "That's not the point. Who was that?" she continued to ignore me. "I've never seen that guy before." I didn't want her to think I cared so the next part came in just for good measure, "I mean, did you bribe him or something?"
She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly as she hiked up on the last step, "And so what if I did. It's still none of your business." She walked ahead, probably trying to get into her room and slam the door in my face.
Bitch.
"Well it is my business now, because you totally ruined my plans for the night. So, explain."
"What's to explain," she paused for a moment, stopping by at the end of the hallway and saying, in probably a voice that was louder then necessary, "I happened to have a good time tonight and you didn't manage to have sex with Kendra, Derek."
For fucks sake. Did she need to broadcast that out loud so that everyone in the neighbourhood knew how lacking my sex life was right now, while hers happened to be close to the opposite. Although I was pretty sure they'd only managed second base. Nothing beyond that.
She turned around and faced the door to her room, and I was sure I knew what was going to occur next. I quickly shoved her out the way blocked the entrance to her room, ignoring her huffs and death glares, hoping that this would be enough to deter her for at least a few moments.
"If that was your pathetic attempt at being funny, then it sucked." I snapped out. "You knew you weren't supposed to be here. I'd made that explicitly clear to you."
With an air of tediousness she shook her head and jutted her chin out in defiance to my statement, "No, Derek. You said you were going to study. There's a big difference there."
Christ. What was this, a land where everything had to be taken literally?
I threw my arms up in the air out of frustration. "I didn't mean studying literally. That was just an excuse; you should know exactly what everyone means by the word 'study'. If I say I'm going to study, I mean I'm going to hopefully do anything but study." I was practically blowing smoke by this point. "Instead my …..' oh fuck, she wasn't even my girlfriend, "Kendra is gone and all I get is the possibility of being mentally scarred thanks to your moment of profound stupidity."
I was still in her way and staring at her with the hopes that Voldemort would be reincarnated and do something to her. Anything. She, surprisingly, seemed impassive. Except for the annoying smirk that was slowly gracing her lips.
No. No. She had nothing to smile about.
She folded her arms, and I made sure my eyesight did not waver; I was going to win this. "You know what I think?" she asked in a voice dripping with candy-cotton sweetness.
"I'm sure it's something boring and ridiculously off putting." I muttered.
She ignored this, "I think you're jealous." There was a glint of triumph in her eyes, or maybe I'd just imagined it.
I was amazingly rendered speechless. I blinked a few times, hoping that she wasn't screwing about with me, or even remotely serious with that bizarre idea. Little did I know that she was stating what she believed to be the truth and it was my foolish reaction that goaded this assumption further.
"Face it, Derek, you're just jealous. That's why you're acting like this is such a big deal." She leaned in forward; it was as if she were standing on her toes, balancing her irrational thoughts with the sense of annoyance that was building inside of me. Her head tilted up slightly, giving me a wave of dizziness and yet I couldn't resist taking in a subtle breath, inhaling in the scent of cherries and aged cigarettes tracing her skin. "You're upset that someone actually wanted a piece of me." She said this with such confidence. Confidence that I'd never seen before, it made me wonder if she was on some sort of high. Some sort of fucked up drug and maybe if she could let me in on the secret.
Forgetting exactly where I was I took a step back and hit my back hard against her door. She raised her eyebrows at this and I shrugged my shoulders, trying to show her how stupid this was. She wasn't going to affect me, at least not tonight. "That's the most stupidest idea I've ever heard." I leaned in closer to her, showing her how she wasn't going to influence me, and whispered, "Don't go spreading that around, you'd be the laughing stock of the whole school."
I knew I was lying, and perhaps she knew this too. Because somewhere, in that annoying hidden box locked up deep within the compartments of my mind, I was annoyed, ticked, pissed, everything really, at the prospect of her being with another guy. And the fact that I got to see this, the fact that I ended up seeing her lips attach themselves with someone other than me, made me feel very wrong. What should have surprised me more was how I wanted her lips on mine, how I wanted her skin to rub and slip against my skin with perspiration, I wanted my fingers to glide through her long tresses. I wanted to be the one to smear the burning red lipstick from her lips and slip my fingers into uncharted territory that would technically only be mine. I wanted to brand her as my own.
None of this surprised me.
It just made me edgy with fear that she might know this.
I scoffed at her, and pushed past her muttering my final words before I could escape, "Whatever, just don't fuck my day up again. I don't have time seeing your foolish after-school make out sessions."
"You're jealous." Was her only reply to my previous fuck-off.
I carried on walking, "Sure, Casey."
"You're jealous." She repeated. I noticed her voice sounded different. More hushed and there was an undertone of something that I wasn't sure I wanted to know.
"Whatever."
"Prove it."
I stopped short. Maybe I'd misheard that. So I turned around, to check, to make sure that I hadn't lost my hearing and started imagining overly-complex ideas that were my own indecisive paths to destruction.
It seemed I hadn't because there stood Casey, watching me, her face void, giving nothing away. I couldn't tell if she was serious or out of her warped mind. I really wasn't sure of anything at this point. The light from the window behind erupted around Casey all of a sudden, and I thought that there was a slight possibility that this was a sign, maybe god was trying to tell me to not do this, to avoid this situation as best as possible.
I took that as the push I needed.
I shook my head, "Casey, you're out of your mind, you don't even know what you're saying. Just go to your room."
"No. I think I'm perfectly fine. It's you who has the problem." She said this all with an air of superiority, and with the movement of her hands fluttering across her silken hair, I noticed just then exactly what she was wearing. It was odd to suddenly find her outfit capturing my attention a lot better then her words, but for the time being that was the case. Her deep blue silk dress hugged her body tightly, cut off well above her knees, accentuating her dips and curves, and reminding me that she wasn't just a book-nerd, she was at the end of it all a woman, something I didn't forget as much a I wanted to. Her long, lean legs shimmered in the light, and I wondered exactly what she'd done to them, to make them glitter so unrelentingly, holding my gaze longer than I was willing to admit out loud. She seemed like a box containing a gift that couldn't be opened too fast or else the secret object inside would be lost very fast. I think I'd skipped that and drunk the sight in front of me a little more than I should have.
She was a contradiction to me. She was hidden beneath layer and layers of annoyance and the pungent smell of a know-it-all. Except her layers were barricaded by another protective wall of bitchiness and a competitive streak that lunged head first on most occasions.
I reluctantly moved my gaze to her face, zoning in on her expression and noting how that smirk still lingered there, but not as blatantly as it had before. She had to be drunk. That was the only reasonable explanation I could think of. Sane Casey would never have come up with an idea like that. Nor would she have gone as far as she did with her bullshit of a date.
I just got annoyed by the smirk. "Seriously, Casey, stop fucking about and just get the fuck into your room." I said letting the tight frustration seep out, trickling away like caramel. She knew I couldn't do it, that we couldn't do it, not without risky consequences, consequences that nobody wanted to really deal with or face. We were happy living in our masquerade. Happy to pretend and deny, letting fantasies take hold in that darkest moment of the night, sighs rolling from our lips were enough. She knew that. So did I. It was an unspoken rule.
She didn't move, but her expression faltered for a moment. The smirk slowly falling and her eyes blinking rapidly, as if she was afraid that something might just come along and wipe her out from this moment. I wanted to cripple it there and then. Whatever emotion it was that she was feeling.
"Prove it, Derek." God she was being so fucking stubborn. "Show me that you're not affected by all of this. That you weren't jealous at the sight of me kissing another boy." She said, quirking her eyebrows at me, her hand placed on her hips, the long red nails seeming ruthless.
I narrowed my eyes at her, annoyed that she was dragging me into a place I didn't want to go. "No. I'm not jealous." I said this with more conviction than I thought I could muster as I took a small step towards her.
She took a step forward, "Liar." She whispered and how I fucking hated her, because she was so damn fucking right.
"Casey, I don't want to get into this. So I really do suggest you fuck off." My voice hardened. I really needed to get the hell out of here before I did something stupid. We were doing all the things we'd ignored, all the unspoken rules were breaking. And I knew the repercussion of this was going to affect us for a while.
"You're such a liar, Derek."
I was in no mood to be nice, "You're such a bitch Casey."
She glared at me, throwing her head back, a strand of hair whipping across her cheeks in the process. The sight unnerved me. "And you're an asshole." She scowled at me, "Forget it. You can't even admit you're jealous, so I think it's pretty clear who's screwed up in this situation." She gave me a cool look, "You probably can't even do anything to prove me otherwise. I'm going to get fucked tonight and well……I guess it won't matter to you." The words slipped out of her mouth so easily, the edges laced with some sort of bubble wrapped excitement. "And you know what? I'm going to love every fucking second of it because it won't be you." She whipped out the last sentence like she was trying to burn me with the statement.
And the sick thing was, I was beyond control. I think I was blazing with jealously when she let out that last piece of information, like she was goading me to do something. To just let it all out for once. All humour had left; suddenly things had become drastic to the point of nausea, something that made me feel disgusted with myself. I was one sick motherfucker.
And I lunged. Lunged right at her. I didn't know what the fuck took over me, it was something close to hysteria, senile and yet precise movements followed my suddenly leap of lunacy. I wanted to punish her. Punish her for causing all this mayhem inside of me. For being the hindrance to salvation. She was a destructive angel in that moment and I wanted to clip her wings, pull her hair and rip her dress into shreds. Her eyes fixed at me with rapid fascination before it fluttered into another territory. She took a jerky step back and I knew what was about to happen was inevitable, she knew this. But we were all pretenders. I could practically smell the fear rising from her skin as my body collided with hers. She tried to pull back, but there was nowhere she could pull back and the friction of our clothes made this fact painfully evident. She wanted me to do this and fuck she'd get it. There was no pulling back.
The red hot tide of fury pummelled through my blood, boiling over like an unyielding disease, hell-bent on destruction. Infecting every singly cell in my body with jealously and a fierce growl rippled through my throat announcing what was about to happen next.
Lust was all I could see and I knew so could she.
I had her trapped against the wall, her breast pressed flush against my body and her arms hung limply against her sides. Her breath was coming out in short spurts and I could hear the distinct thunder of her heart, then again at this point it could have been mine.
My hands wove into her hear, my grip like vice, fingers spreading against her loose honey coloured, wild hair that seemed to hold dark secrets that were only for me. I yanked her head to the side, exposing the soft pale skin of her neck ignoring the short gasp that escaped her lips, and without giving a second thought to this fiasco I slammed my lips against hers.
That's all the encouragement she needed as her hand dove into my hair, drawing me closer than possible as out bodies rubbed together slickly, representation of all the pent up frustration that was let loose like a hurricane. Our lips fell and rose as if we were whispering unknown secrets. We weren't hesitant, there was no holding one another delicately and appreciating, this was pure lust and fucking through our mouths. I could feel her tongue licking my lips before she plunged in, knowing that she didn't really need to seek permission. We're ravenous, seeking and exploring every inch of wet flesh that was accessible to us. Her moans made me annoyed rather than pleased because she was enjoying this just as much as I was despite the depravity of the situation. I wanted her to be the sensible one, bringing back morality into both our conscience. I pulled back, trailing hot scorching kisses along her jaw line, following an imaginary line hissing as she grabbed fistfuls of hair savouring the attention and forcing our bodies to become one. I stopped for a moment leaning in close to her ears whispering what I knew without a doubt was the damn fucking truth.
"You're mine." My felt like sepulchral darkness, shamelessly weaving sin with temptation, I took notice of her swollen lips, and the glazed look in her eyes, and I hoped what I was about to say made her aware of what she was fucking around with, "And the only one who'll ever fuck you is me. Not your stupid boyfriend. Not any other guy. Me." I pulled her hair harder and my voice sounded guttural. This was so wrong, but I was past the point to realising or even giving a fuck about this bullshit. None of it mattered. We were prisoners to out own self-inflicting need. And as I took hold of her ruby-red lips, the cupids bow shape making me needier with each second, our eyes locked for that one lonely second, questions and hesitation were passed between us.
It didn't matter, because our lips meshed together again, the contours placating one another, intoxication took over. I could taste cigarettes on her lips and the mixture of wild berries. Her skin felt too soft, enough to cause sparks of electricity on my rough callous fingertips as they travelled along her exposed skin.
Until it all fell apart.
Reality had taken hold and the loud slam of the front door was our reminder that we were playing on a dangerous line.
I let go of her as fast as I'd taken hold of her, knowing that this wouldn't happen again.
Never.
I shoved my hand into my hear trying to fix my dishevelled appearance, before throwing her a look that I hoped would covey the seriousness of it all.
"I hope you know how it fucking feels." I muttered to her in a hallow voice before leaving the fuck out of there and letting her deal with her shit on her own.
My room would be my sanctuary for the whole night, because things had inexplicably changed between us and I knew it was for the worst.
Uh, Derek is slightly dark here. Very bitter, actually. Both of them are OOC in this story, not terribly OOC I can assure you. But I hope this doesn't deter you! So this is my first fanfic for LWD, which is why feedback would be very helpful.
Is this a load of crap or is it worth being continued?
Review and let me know!
