It was always the garden.

It was her favorite hiding spot, her haven she ran to when the world around her began to expect more than she was able to give. She had once said that the flowers soothed her; their silent beauty a comforting juxtaposition from the harsh, begging faces of her people and the stoic, demeaning ones of the council who claimed to act in her best interest.

They were awful liars and everyone knew it, yet nothing could be done except to grin and bear it.

No one did it better than Kat. While many turned away to mutter curses under their breaths, she smiled strong and true, never faltering even when scalding gazes weren't upon her. She held up her composure even when there wasn't anyone to see her performance and, more often than not, it made Raven wonder it anything truly phased her.

It was in the garden that she learned that yes, even her beloved queen was susceptible to anger and frustration as she would often find her in the walled off garden, eyes shining with unshed tears and hands furiously twisting her gown as she glared at the flower heads with something akin to murderous intent.

Even in the winter, with the soft snow falling silently and chilling the kingdom with quiet, Kat would escape to the garden, where her true colors shone and reflected off the brilliant white mounds of snow in a dazzling kaleidoscope of emotions.

And that is where she was today, sitting on the ground in front of the stone fountain. The water was not running and the fountain was barren and currently without purpose. The emptiness unnerved Raven as she stepped through the rounded archway, a gloved hand on the hilt of the sword at her hip. A light snowfall drifted down, snowflakes waltzing in the breeze, twirling and spinning carefree before softly touching down on the ground to add to the slow growing blanket that covered the ground or kissing her rosy cheeks numb from the chill.

Kat sat in the midst of it all, almost one with the snow itself in her pure white gown with ivory and golden accents. An ivory cape, the material thick and heavy and lined with white fur hugged her shoulders and cascaded down her back to the snow where it rippled and folded before smoothing out behind her. The fabric and ruffles of her skirt bunched up around her legs in a circle around her, the golden flecks like tiny suns reflecting off the sheet of snow. She was leaning against the fountain, her arms propped on the stone ledge as she stared into the empty basin where snow was beginning to coat the inside. Her eyes were wet and heavy with fatigue and gold strands of hair brushed pink lips and cheeks as the breeze caressed her small form.

Raven stopped just past the archway, her breath short and heart heavy as she drank in her queen, looking so forlorn and dejected that the mere empathy practically shattered her heart. Yet there was an almost sorrowful beauty to her that made her want to reach out and encourage those tears to finally fall so that she may catch them in her hands and wipe them away. Even in the midst of melancholy Kat was wholly magnificent, though it made Raven feel awful for thinking as much.

She cleared her throat loudly to dispel those thoughts from her mind and gain Kat's attention. The blonde jumped and looked up to her with wide red eyes, her lips parted in a startled "o" shape.

"Raven! You frightened me!" she chided, quickly straightening up and preparing to rise from the ground. She stopped when Raven held up her hand and walked over to stand by her before bending down to kneel on one knee.

"If you stay out here for too long you'll fall ill."

The frown returned to her face and she looked away. "I don't wish to return inside just yet."

Raven nodded, knowing that she would not be able to convince her otherwise when she was stuck in such an awful mood. "Please tell me that you don't plan on staying out here until you freeze."

A feathery touch brushed her knuckles and she didn't have to look away from Kat's face to know what it was. "You wouldn't let me."

"It would go against my oath."

When Kat looked over at Raven there was a deep-set frown on her lips, reminiscent of a pout almost. Her eyes looked genuinely sad for the briefest second before hardening into something more familiar. More intimate.

"That is not what I meant."

The movements were natural, almost routine as she leaned forward and touched her lips upon Kat's softer and colder ones. It was chaste and sweet, feathery light like the snowflakes that kissed her cheeks earlier or fluttering eyelashes caressing skin. She kept it short and pulled away too soon for Kat's liking if her frown and throaty whine were any indications. Her displeasure was quickly quelled when Raven leaned forward again to rest her forehead against hers, the tips of their noses barely touching.

"You're cold," she whispers, her voice so quiet in the small enclosure yet echoing in the vast emptiness.

Kat reached forward and grasped her right forearm, the other hand lifting to her neck, sliding her fingers to wrap around the back. The chill send a jolt down Raven's spine and she lurched away from the cold touch further into Kat's embrace, something that she seemed to be counting on as she reeled her in with the hand on her neck and gripped the fabric of her sleeve and pulled. Her face tilted forward so that now their noses were very much touching and their lips barely grazed, the smoky clouds of breath mingling with each other's and slipping into the cold air. Her chest rose as her back arched and her lidded eyes bore deep into Raven's. A spark passed through them and suddenly the cold from the snow both on the ground below them and falling above them seemed to have no effect.

"Then offer me your warmth."

Her voice was but a whisper but possessed a husky sultriness to it that Raven felt tremors through her limbs that had nothing to do with the cold. Before she could react or even properly think those lips were on her again and this time the kiss was not as innocent. It was hot and burning and passionate; Raven felt herself falling and reached out to catch herself, her hands landing on rounded hips. She fisted the fabric of her dress, pulling her closer to feel her presence, her body so close to hers.

When she pulled away to gulp for air and regain her bearings Kat gripped her tighter and, like a drowning man desperate for something to keep him afloat, pulled her back under. It was messier now, the kisses hard and wet and so much odder than just the simple peck from before. Though she was practiced in this sort of activity, it never did stop the unusual feeling of someone else's lips on her, pressing and nipping and licking. But it was by no means an unpleasant feeling and Raven was never opposed to it.

Her hands drifted upwards, lifting from Kat's hips to her shoulders, her collar to her neck, rising to cup her cheeks before reaching behind to tug on her hair. She couldn't feel the smoothness of her skin or the silkiness of her hair through the gloves she wore, but she was already so familiar with it, the sensation ingrained into her mind that she could imagine it anyway as her hands followed through the routine motions. The circlet on Kat's hair shifted as Raven's hands ran through her hair, twisting and going askew but Kat hardly seemed to notice.

The sound of their breath and the smacking of their lips permeated the air, directly contesting the silence of winter and the quiet it wrought over all that lived. Fabric shifted against fabric and guttural moans vibrating in their throats and soft gasps disrupted the silence of the barren world around them. One of Kat's hand reached up and gripped her own, prying it from her hair and bringing it down to her hip when she pressed against it firmly, her nails digging into the fabric above her wrist as she lifted herself from the ground to gain more traction as she rolled them forward.

This action jolted Raven from her reverie, the bliss of the moment dissipating as she pulled away. She pressed her lips together and gently nudged away any further advances that Kat made towards her, attempting to regain her breath and her senses as she began to recall why she had come looking for Kat in the first place.

"My queen."

Kat frowned and flinched as if she had been burned, removing her person from Raven entirely. Her eyes glistened with newfound tears and she receded into herself. A brisk wind blew past them and the chill bit into their flesh with a resounding fierceness. Raven shivered but unblinkingly watched as Kat retreated into herself, shutting up and returning to the state she had found her in. Gone was the playfulness she exhibited in their banter and their kisses.

"My name is Kat," she said firmly. "That is the name my mother gave me and it is the one I asked you to call me. I am not your queen and I am not the name that was imposed upon me by the council that ripped me from my home and my family!" She was shaking heavily now, but it was not because of the cold. "I entrusted you with my name because I thought you saw me for who I am, not who the council build me up to be for the rest of the kingdom."

Raven opened her mouth to say something when Kat stood up abruptly, her fists clenched by her sides that only barely muted their trembling. Snow fell from her gown and cape, plopping down to the ground with hardly a sound. "I think I will be going inside now."

As she turned to leave Raven bolted to an upright position and her hand lunged out to catch Kat's thin wrist in her hand. It halted her and Raven tugged gently but firmly to get her to turn around. "It was not my decision to make."

"But you agree with them, don't you?"

The accusation caused her to falter for just a second. "It is to keep you safe."

"That's the Royal Guard's job, your job! I am perfectly fine where I stand. This is all just another ploy for the council to play with me as their puppet and to enforce their control over me!"

Her grip tightened and she saw how Kat winced but she could feel the heat of her own frustrations and anger brewing inside of her. "How naive and childish can you be to not be able to look past your own selfish desires to realize that sometimes sacrifices must be made in the name of the kingdom?"

"The council doesn't give a rat's ass about the kingdom! If they cared so much they would evacuate the people properly as I have suggested time and time again! They would have reached out to other kingdoms to enlist the assistance of their armies and soldiers to help us combat this threat!" There was a fire in her eyes, the one that Raven adored and admired because it showed that she truly cared for her kingdom. The kingdom that was dropped in her lap without notice. It was a heavy burden but she took it with stride, always trying to do what was best for her people.

Even if it was at the cost of herself.

"You can't even begin to fathom the threat that is headed this way and all you want to do is stamp your feet like a petulant child denied their way. The council is doing this to protect you and the rest of the Royal Guard agrees with their decision. We only wish to keep you safe and out of harm's way while we figure this out."

"If they really wanted me safe why can't you come with me?" The tears were brimming now. "Why are you to stay here while I'm carted off elsewhere when you are the one sworn by oath to protect me and to never leave my side?"

Raven loosened her grip, her own heartbreak weighing down her shoulders in defeat as she sighed. "I am staying here to help plan a retaliation. They need me."

The tears spilled over when she blinked and Raven wanted to reach over and wipe them away. Her eyes shone bright with tears and her cheeks were bright red with cold and sorrow and yet she looked so enchanting in that moment that Raven hardly felt worthy existing anywhere near her.

"I need you." Her voice was meek, strained with desperation and sadness and Raven felt her throat clench as her eyes burned.

"You must go as the council has said."

Her own voice sounded detached and unfeeling and Raven watched as the heartbreak crossed Kat's face. It started out as a soft disbelief before twisting into a cold anger as she wrenched her wrist from her grip and took a step away. Her mouth curled into a snarl and Raven hated how her anger was directed towards her for the first time in all the time she'd been serving under her.

"I will be going to my chamber now, my liege." Her words were dripping with seething hatred and without another word she turned abruptly, her cape whipping around her dramatically. She picked up her skirts and broke off into a run, through the arched garden entrance across the fields back to the castle, her cape and gown billowing behind her. Her form was reminiscent of some ghostly figured flying across the campus in an undead rage or even an mythical being gliding across the winter wonderland in a graceful path. Raven only chased her so far as outside of the garden before she stopped to watch her run back to the castle, a sinking feeling in her gut.

"I can see she's not taking the news well."

Raven jumped and whirled around to face the source of the voice. It was a man - she recognized him as one of the council members. He was the youngest one she knew, the freshest face in the sea of wrinkles and receding hairlines. She also knew that despite Kat's general discontentment with the rest of the council, she was rather fond of this one, whether because they were closer in age or because he was the only one who actually listened to and considered her concerns. Raven was never overtly fond of him herself, but she was able to tolerate him after awhile after seeing how respectfully and kindly he treated Kat.

She calmed once she noticed it was him and nodded sullenly. "She wants to stay here to help protect her people."

He chuckled humorlessly. "Only a girl like her would be so willing and ready to protect a kingdom full of people that blame her for all of their problems. They've thrown rotten produce at her and called her a colorful array of insults and yet she thinks of nothing but doing what's best for them."

Raven narrowed her eyes and rested one of her hands on the hilt of her sword, the other propped on her hip. "Well that sort of reaction is only to be expected when you and your council pin all of your faults and failures on her."

His grin faltered at that and he ran a hand through the thick mop of white hair on his head. It was always a mess and this action only worsened it, making him look almost disheveled and slovenly. "The council doesn't want to risk having a bad reputation. Gives them more freedom to do things."

"Even things that aren't in the best interest of the kingdom?"

Syd whipped to glare at her. "I don't condone their behavior, you know."

"But you sure as hell let them carry on as they are."

He crossed his arms and looked back in the direction of the castle where Kat had disappeared to. "I'm biding my time."

Raven faced the direction he was, her lips pressed in a fine line. "That's a coward's excuse."

From the corner of her eye she noticed him bristle and did her best to conceal her smugness. She may not hate him anymore, but it was still fun to watch him squirm.

Her righteous attitude was short-lived however when his next question made the smirk falter and fall from her lips, leaving her cold and ashamed.

"What does that make you then? For choosing to stay behind instead of following her?"

She grimaced, doing her best to keep her shifting to a minimum as to hide her discomfort. "I am staying behind to help with the fight. I'd hardly call that a cowardly decision."

He didn't answer right away but she heard the crunch of his feet as he closed the distance between them until he was standing right next to her. She didn't turn to acknowledge him, her eyes still glued to the castle but looking far past it now. Past its brick walls and long, expansive halls, her mind drifting to a singular room with a singular person.

"You're running away."

She grit her teeth and tightened her grip on her sword. "I am staying to fight!"

"I'm not talking about the battle." He placed a hand on her shoulder that she immediately shrugged off and took a step away from him to discourage any further attempts. He didn't try to touch her again, but she could feel that he was not through talking. "I'm not the only coward too hesitant to do what's right."

Raven looked down at the snow, willing away the hot feeling in her throat and chest, internally demanding that her breath even out and for her eyes to quit itching. "If that's what you want to tell yourself to make you feel better, go right ahead. I know that my decision is the right one. It would be foolish to remain ignorant any longer than I already have." And with that final word she walked away towards the castle, away from Syd. Her footprints fell into place with Kat's that had yet to be filled up with more snow and she trudged on, following Kat's path, knowing that once she reaches the castle there would no longer be one to follow.


She had thought about knocking. Truly, she had, but there was the fear that she would lose her nerve once her knock was answered with that sweet voice and she would turn tail and run. So she pushed into the room without notice or permission, an offense certainly punishable were it committed by anyone else. Yet as she entered the dim room she was not met with shouted words of anger and surprise or reprimands for disregarding common courtesy. Instead there was silence save for the soft, high-pitched notes of a melody, chiming softly in the stillness before being weighed down heavily by the depressing aura the room held. To her left was Kat, slumped over her vanity, resting on her arms and tracing the intricate designs of the music box that sat in front of her, the culprit for the song permeating the quiet.

Red eyes lazily lifted up to acknowledge her presence before returning to the music box, clearly disinterested in the intruder. It was clear that she was still upset from earlier and suddenly all plans of smoothing this out easily were out the window. Raven took a deep breath and stepped further into the room, making sure to shut the door securely behind her. As she stepped carefully to where Kat was sitting, the blonde continued to ignore her. It wasn't until Raven was standing right in front of her, silent and waiting, that she finally chose to speak.

"I suppose this is where you've come to me to apologize yet assert yourself in same breath, effectively negating the apology but still expecting my forgiveness regardless." She lifts her head and stares at her blankly and her voice shifts from deadpan to sarcastically sweet and swooning. "And then you'll kiss me and everything will seem magically better and we'll be happy until we're reminded in the morning that you're leaving me."

Raven doesn't respond to that, instead kneeling on the ground on one knee and looking up at Kat. There was no amusement or anything of the sort in her eyes or demeanor and Raven quickly realized that she only had one shot at this to fix what was already so strained and mangled between them. She reached out her hand and nudged the hand resting on Kat's lap with her fingers, eyes flicking up to lock with Kat's, silently asking for permission. She was hesitant at first, but soon conceded and allowed Raven to grasp it gently. She raised it to her lips where she pressed them to Kat's knuckles, a gesture that was less of a kiss and more of an apology. Kat didn't seem to be very appreciative, however, and her fingers curled as she slowly took her hand back.

Raven took a deep breath and looked back up to Kat's face. "I only want the best for you," she began and held up a hand when Kat looked ready to retort. Only after Kat backed down and communicated that she was listening did she continue. "I want to keep you safe and hidden from all and any threats not only because I have been sworn to do so as a member of the Royal Guard and as someone who is trained to be your personal protector but as someone who truly and deeply cares for and loves you." She let that sink in, taking in the way Kat's face softened at her words before she frowned again and hardened her expression, stubborn to remain angry.

"I can't apologize for a decision I had no part in making and I can't apologize for saying that I agree with that decision if it means keeping you safe because I'm not sorry for either one and if I were to say so to make you forgive me, you and I both know it would be a lie. But I am sorry for the way I spoke to you earlier in the garden. I did not mean to raise my voice at you like that nor did I enjoy doing so.

"But I'm scared," she admitted. She looked down at Kat's lap before taking a deep breath to collect herself and looked back up. "It's not an excuse for how I treated you, but it is my reasoning for acting as I did. I'm scared that I'll lose you, whether it be to a threat to your wellbeing or...or a threat to us." She blinked away the tears that threatened to spill because she knew that once she started crying it was all over. "I am just your liege, someone sworn to protect and serve you. And...whether you like the notion or not, you are my queen. I am not fit to be by your side or in your bed and soon enough that will ring truer than before when you are betrothed and taken from me.

"I am not sorry for sending you off for your safety and I am not sorry for refusing to follow you. I am doing both in your best interest and for the benefit of the entire kingdom." She blinked and her shoulders slumped forward and her composure was slipping as she reached out to grip onto something to keep her from falling. Her hands found purchase on Kat's lap and the chair, holding on with a white knuckled grip. "But I am sorry for letting this carry on as long as it did, for letting this go anywhere past the initial point when I should've stopped it before it had begun. I'm sorry for putting us both in this position where we'll both suffer when it all inevitably ends. And I'm most sorry for coming to you now as I am, begging for your forgiveness and good graces so that I may be allowed to touch you again should you let me. I'm sorry for being weak and scared and unfit to protect you because of my own feelings getting in the way."

There was a silence once she finished and she wanted nothing more than to collapse and sink into the floor, to let it swallow her whole and conceal her vulnerability. Her life has been nothing but lessons of how to hide her weakness and to deny her vulnerability, to stay strong and sturdy because one could not afford to falter when protecting the crown. It was drilled into her that she must remain impassive, to repress. Her feelings weren't nearly as important as her duty to the crown and the kingdom and she was not allowed to let her own desires and emotions to stand in the way of that. She understood all of this and agreed with everything she was taught, seeing the importance and logic behind the expected behavior and knowing how imperative it was to carrying out her duties. She resigned herself to this lifestyle for the sake of upholding her family name and the honor that was attributed to it, to uphold the values of the Royal Guard and the respect that backed her from both the guard's and her family's efforts.

However, she never accounted how easily she would fall for her charge. All those lessons, all those years of training and preparing and she was undone in just an instant when those red eyes gazed into hers.

She was unworthy to continue on like this, but she had hoped that maybe, just maybe she could prove herself worthy, if only just for her.

It was foolish from the start.

Her down-spiralling thoughts were interrupted by two gentle hands lifting her chin upwards so that she was looking at sympathetic red eyes. Kat's lips were twisted into a soft smile, so understanding and beautiful and Raven flinched away, knowing that she didn't deserve forgiveness for anything she had done, even as she yearned to close the distance and accept Kat's kindness and bury herself in it forever.

So, of course, that's exactly what she did.

She pulled away gently from Kat's hands, dodging when they reached out for her again before she stooped down to grab the hem of Kat's night gown and lift it up, baring her legs inch by inch. She took pride in the way that her breath hitched and paused only to glance up at her face to see it frozen in anticipation. Her earlier worries and concerns pushed back for now, she continued lifting the fabric until it was bunched up around Kat's waist. She held it there while she bent her head down to place a chaste kiss to each of Kat's knees. Her eyes rose when she heard Kat release a clipped breath, lifting just in time to see Kat take her bottom lip between her teeth as she braced herself.

No longer hesitating she bent down again and placed two more kisses to each knee, each one longer than the one before it. When Kat's left twitched beneath her lips she decided to move further down, pressing her lips to the space right above her knees, then the space above that, and above that, and above that

She went on until the reached the top of Kat's thighs where the fabric was blocking her access from anything further. Instead of moving it aside she traveled back down her thighs, repeating her trail of kisses as she listened to Kat's breath quickening and feeling the warmth of her skin grow warmer beneath her lips. Once she had made it back down to her knees she let go of the fabric of Kat's night gown, sliding her hands down her thighs as she locked eyes with her, eyes questioning.

She wanted to be forgiven. She wanted to be loved. She wanted assurances.

Kat took a deep breath herself and reached behind Raven, stroking her ponytail. "You know, ever since I was brought to this castle to be appointed queen, I haven't had much say of anything that goes on in my life." She picked up a single strand and brought it closer to her, pinching it between her thumb and forefinger. "They've told me where to go and where I can't go, when and when not to speak and who to speak to, how to dress, how to present myself...they've told me what I can and can't do, both for myself and the kingdom. They've planned out my life for me without asking or even caring to consider what it is that I want." She dropped the strand of hair and reached behind Raven's head again to take hold of the ribbon pinning it back. Raven sat still, listening to her intently and shivering at her gentle touches and whispered words.

"But there is one thing I've chosen for myself." She untied the ribbon and Raven's hair spilled across her back and shoulders and Kat's other hand came forward to help it spread out. "You may have been assigned to be my liege that protects me, but I still chose you." She moved on from Raven's hair to pick up her left her, smoothing the pad of her thumb across calloused knuckles. "You are mine and that's a decision I made." She took ribbon and wrapped it around her ring finger before tying it off neatly with a bow. Once she was finished she brought up Raven's face to look at her again. "I've never regretted that decision for a moment."

Tears began to well in Raven's eyes and she almost wanted to break down then and there, to let go and be vulnerable after having to remain strong for such a large portion of her life, but she repressed those feelings for another time. For now she grabbed the back of Kat's knees in each hand and tugged on them gently, causing Kat to reposition herself on the chair. Before she even had a chance to get properly settled Raven was already descending, her lips feverishly leaving trails up and down her inner thighs, kissing and nipping, licking and biting, dragging her lips across smooth, pallid legs that trembled beneath her touch as Kat huffed and panted. Kat's hands were threading through her hair one minute and gripping her shoulders the next then traveling to grip the seat of the chair to allow herself more leverage to roll her hips. With each inch that Raven came nearer to her core the rolling became more frenzied and it wasn't too long until Kat released a drawn out whine that pleaded with her to get on with it.

Not one to disappoint, she rose from her position on the floor, making sure to pick Kat up from the chair on her way. It was a short trip to the bed, but it took longer that it ought to have as she became increasingly distracted with Kat's legs wrapped around her waist and her lips wrapped around her own. Eventually they were able to make it to the bed where Raven gentle lowered Kat down into the plush bedding. Neither bothered with pulling down the blanket to lay between the sheets as they were both too preoccupied with each other to care much.

Raven easily settled between Kat's legs which hooked onto her hips as they pressed together, desperate for each other's warmth and touch. Kat craved friction where Raven craved tenderness and both were able to find a balance in each other through muscle memory with a practiced ease. Like in the garden before, their kisses were bursting with passion, but this time their motions were more intimate and frantic, desperate to relieve some of the pressure that had been plaguing them both.

It wasn't long before Raven had kicked off her pants and Kat had shimmied out of her night gown, both articles of clothing finding their way to the floor. As Raven placed wet kisses down Kat's middle, trailing heat between her breasts down to her navel, Kat clawed at Raven's shirt, pulling on it roughly until Raven relinquished it finally where it soon joined the rest of their rumpled clothes on the ground.

As Raven found each inch of Kat's body to worship and mark with her lips, by way of wet kisses or gentle bites, Kat sought out for her hand, soon finding where it rest on her hip only to pull it away so she could interlock their fingers. Her head fell back and her hips lifted when Raven finally ducked her head into the dip between her legs, placing chaste kisses that hardly made purchase, her nose pressing harder to her skin than her lips. Kat squirmed and made a vocal complaint, but that seemed to do more harm than good when Raven lifted her head entirely away and her presence disappeared entirely.

Kat opened her eyes to see Raven crawling up to her face and opened her mouth to complain again when Raven bent down to press their lips together. Kat responded eagerly and rolled her hips, moaning into Raven's mouth when she just barely made contact with her body. They pulled away, panting and lips glistening with wetness.

"I love you," Raven breathed her dark hair falling over her shoulders and caressing Kat's shoulders.

Kat nodded and reached up with the hand not entwined with Raven's to caress her cheek, her thumb running along Raven's bottom lip, swollen from their activities. "I love you too."

Raven nodded. "I want to be with you. And I don't want to be scared anymore. So I'll go with you when you leave."

Her breath faltered and tears sprung to her eyes before she yanked Raven down for another kiss. This one hurt a bit more from its suddenness, but they both softened and eased more into it, making it more pleasant past the initial soreness. When they pulled away they were both grinning from their pure love and devotion to each other and from the promise of a bright future together.

Kat brushed Raven's hair behind her shoulders. "Now, no more talking."

Raven nodded and with a smirk lowered herself down again, leaving a trail of kisses in her wake. Kat watched her go and threw her head back with the first moan as Raven dipped in-between her legs.

And where their hands still lay entwined, her thumb idly caressed the ribbon tied around Raven's left ring finger.