Edward silently marveled at the stoic facade he had manage to maintain throughout his 'Speech' to Bella. His Bella...not

his any longer. He felt a sharp pain in

the hollow place where his heart used to be; it was gone now. Gone now to wherever the pieces of a broken heart end

up; he had a good idea where. They were

back there; back in that clearing with the only one he'd ever loved; the only one he'd ever hurt; the only one he'd never have.

His unnecessary breaths were ragged as he trudged farther and farther away from his heart.

When he reached a place he'd subconsciously sought out through the unbelievable haze that seemed to be

accompanying the moisture in the back of his eyes,

he crumbled. He let go. He lost it. He surrendered to the inescapable hurt and let it rage through his cold, hard body. He

raged against fate and love and

everything coherent as he swam in a place that was anything but coherent.

Just when he thought the tremors were over he'd imagine Bella in a year, in 6 years, in 12, in 20. With Mike; in a wedding

dress, smiling up into an adoring

face that wasn't his; laughing with a blonde toddler that had his mother's cheekbones and his father's dimples; tearily

waving at the toddler that had become a

handsome man as he went off to college.

Mike would give her what he couldn't. A child, a productive life, a future.

Sooner or later, he'd give in to the thirst. The thought made him choke with the throat that didn't really breathe. Grasp

with the hands that didn't warm.

Even if he turned her, it would end badly. She had no idea what was involved... She'd have to give up her old life entirely

soon after she was turned. Those who

knew her would notice the face that didn't line and the gait that didn't slow after a few years. They'd over-react. They

always did. Bella wouldn't be able to handle it. She needed her parents..and they needed her. Her; not a blood-sucking,

beautiful and cold thing that resembled the warm and thriving girl they'd

always known.

It was her or him, and his life was worth nothing without her in it...even if she'd only live in his memories for the rest of

time.

He walked out hours after he had walked in. He walked away from any chance of happiness. He walked away from the

voice that had been calling his name

for hours...He walked towards the abyss of pointlessness that had become his eternity.

A/N: Ok..I know, kinda angsty. The nex chapter will be VERY DIFFERENT, so if you don't like this, try Ch. 2!

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! Thanks!