Why does it have to hurt so much? It's like I'm in a daze, everything around me feels like it's stopped in time when I hear those words.

'She's dead.'

I knew it was true the moment I saw him. But I couldn't suppress that tiny sliver of hope that rose to the surface that she might still be here.

I can't help but collapse to the ground. She had always reminded me that this day would come. I always knew that it would but I got too caught up on the idea of forever. Forever doesn't exist though. It never did. Never has. And everything will always continue to fade away before your eyes on the idea of forever...I know that now... But still... How can she just be gone? How can someone not be there anymore?

'I killed her.' he tells me. He doesn't face me. Doesn't show any remorse at all for the truth that springs forth from his mouth.

'If you hate me...you can always kill me.'

I don't hate him. I wish I did. I wish he would show even the tiniest bit of regret. But there is none shadowed beneath his exterior. This is what she had always wanted, I have to remind myself. But it doesn't dim the amount of gut wrenching pain I feel. It's like a part of me is missing now. My heart is being weighed down in my chest and I can hardly take it. My lungs burn with every breath of air I inhale, and I wonder why I still bother to allow this air to invade my lungs when she is gone. When the very realization has crumbled my entire world to nothing. Nothing will ever be the same again. I'm all alone. Again. But this time she is not there to save me from this.

There is no way to ever hide from it all. This is no terrible nightmare like so many of the others that I will soon awake from. I cannot escape from the reality in front of me. She will not soothe my fears in the middle of the night when I would wake to find her there. This will never happen again. I will never see her again...

I do not understand how I can continue to breathe, when my very soul has been ripped apart and my heart shattered to pieces within my chest.

But he has taken her name. The name 'Kenpachi' and for that I am glad. But I wish it hadn't ever happened this way.

Everything hurts. And in that moment I'm like a child again. Scared and alone with no way out.