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The Incident

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" Lily's heart sank. James wanted to rip Snape's head off.

Lily blinked. After all these years? She thought. "Fine," she said coolly. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus." James' blood boiled.

"Apologize to Evans!" James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him. I'll kill him. I really will kill him. James thought.

"I don't want you to make him apologize," Lily shouted, rounding on James. "You're as bad as he is…"

"What?" yelped James. "I'd NEVER call you a- you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down the corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK."

James was stopped by Remus before he could pull Severus' pants off. Saying it was demeaning enough being up there and he really didn't want Lily coming back and putting everyone in the crowd and especially them in detention, because if she didn't he might have to. James pulled the curse off only because Sirius really didn't feel like seeing Snivellus' junk. James couldn't help but think that he should go fight the lake squid.

Lily on the other hand was in the first-floor girl's loo with Myrtle annoying her. "I thought I'd come here because no one could see me crying," she snapped at Myrtle.

"That's what I thought too," Myrtle teased. Lily sniffled and really wanted to punch the ghost.

"Go away, Myrtle," Lily begged. "Please, I just came from… I was just called… Just let me cry for five minutes," she snapped. Myrtle sung some random song and flew above the stalls.

"Tell you what. If you tell me what happened, I'll go to the Prefect bathroom for ten minutes, but you better be gone by the time I come back," she wagered.

"I was called a Mudblood by my best friend, happy, now leave." Lily turned her back to the ghost and bit her lip to hold herself from crying for one minute longer.

"Who was it?" Myrtle asked.

"Myrtle!" Lily roared. "You promised!"

"I'll leave once you tell me who was it." Myrtle flew through Lily before giving her a look.

"Severus Snape." Lily felt her face fall and a few tears slipped out. Her best friend.

"Severus? He's such a kind fellow. Well. I'll go see if I can find him. Give him a taste of his own medicine." Myrtle fake punched the air around her.

"No, Myrtle!" Lily stood up and banged the stall door open. "Do not tell anyone I came in here, do you hear me?" she growled.

"And what are you going to do to me if I don't?"

"You fancy James Potter right?" Lily asked. Everyone knew this. Any girl that dared come into the first floor girls loo knew Moaning Myrtle fancied James Potter, said he looked very similar to a boy she once knew in life. A boy that was very kind to her and good at potions.

"What could you tell me about him that I don't already know?" Myrtle stayed around.

"I could tell you when he next goes to the loo." Lily felt this was a weak wager, but if Myrtle loved Potters as much as Lily thought, she'd go for it.

"You'd come all the way here just to tell me?" Myrtle was interested this was good.

"Yes. Or I'd send a first year. They'll tell you Lily sent them." Myrtle nodded and flew away singing some song. Lily's lip trembled then she felt the hot tears roll down her face. Sobs came out of her that were pulled from deep within.

It took Marlene and Mary what seemed like hours to find Lily. They checked their dorm room, the common room, the library, all the bathrooms, even Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, but Lily wasn't there. They finally gave up on their hunt and went back to the common room just to find Lily sitting there reading a book.

"Lily!" Marlene shouted. She ran over to one of her closest friends and embraced her. "Where have you been?" she asked. Lily shrugged.

"I was in Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. then I went to the lake with you, then I broke up a fight between Potter and Severus, then I went to the bathroom, the library to study, our room to grab a book, and now here in my chair where I normally am." Lily conveniently left out the bits that would stay with her for the rest of her life.

"Where did you go after the incident with Snape?" Mary asked. Lily sucked in a deep breath. She watched the fire for a Moment.

"I told you, I went to the bathroom." She turned back to her book.

"We checked the bathrooms, you weren't there."

"Maybe we just weren't there at the same time." Lily shrugged off the hand on her shoulder. "That's bound to happen in a castle this big."

"What we mean to say," Marlene sighed, "is are you okay? After what happened?" Lily shrugged. "With Severus? I know he meant a lot to you and you must be hurt-."

"He didn't mean anything to me. I was just trying to stop Potter from being the toe-headed bully he always is." Lily shut her book and stormed up the stairs to their dorm room. Marlene and Mary followed her after a moment.

"Will she ever admit it?" Mary asked.

"She has to." Marlene shrugged. She sat on Lily's bed instead of her own. Lily was in the same reading position she had been before just a little more aggravated this time. "Lily, you can tell us what you really think about all this. We're your friends."

Lily slammed her book down again. "You want to know what I really think about all this?" she asked. Mary and Marlene hesitantly nodded their heads. "I think Snape meant every word he said, but he's going to apologize and think I should forgive him. This has been coming a long time. I've felt it. With Mulciber and Avery as his closest friends. All the spells he won't share with me, now. I know they exist. He writes them in his note book detailing what they do to people, but he won't show me or tell me. He loves the Dark Arts. He's always been fond of it, but it's been this growing tumor on his head, and now, now I don't think it's a tumor it's just his head. This pure-blood supremacy thought, it's really what he believes. After all these years of telling me, I wasn't what they called me. I'm just as good as everyone else. It's all been a lie!" Lily flung her hands in the air.

"I've been lied to for the better part of my existence. And of course, of course it has to be James Fucking Potter that has to go and get Severus to finally admit it all. Because what better way to humiliate me than use the boy who humiliates me almost daily by asking me out. And of course this same boy is Severus' arch nemesis like those exists in normal people's lives." Lily took a moment to breathe deeply.

Marlene opened her mouth to say something, but Lily held up a finger. "I am humiliated weekly by Potter. It's not a form of flattering to constantly have to deny someone something they don't really want but they act like they want. He acts like he wants me. He teases me with these overdone proposals to go to Hogesmeade or eat dinner with him or take a stroll. He knows I will never say yes, but he still asks me out! Because he knows I hate it and he knows it annoys me to no end. Because I have to say no when I never want to. Because I have to deny him something he 'really' wants." She air quoted with her fingers. Marlene wanted to stop her. Mary wanted to stop her. But there would be no stopping Lily Evans from a long out due rant.

"Because he doesn't really want to go out with me. He just loves teasing me. He doesn't love me." Lily ran her hands through her hair. "Don't tell me I'm wrong. I was already wrong about Severus. I'm not wrong about Potter." She took her book and threw it onto the ground. There was silence for a minute.

"Are you done?" Mary asked. Lily finally looked up at them.

"Yes," she huffed.

"Well then I'm glad," Marlene said as she wrinkled her nose. "You're not forgiving Snape, right?" she asked.

"No. Not now, not ever." Lily shook his head sure of herself. She had made up her mind the second that word left his mouth.

"Finally," Mary exclaimed. She fell back on her bed. "He's so gross. I hate looking at him let alone trying to make conversation over lunch." She raised her arms to the air and groaned shaking them.

"Mary," Marlene said through clenched teeth. Lily frowned deeply.

"I knew you guys didn't like him," Lily mumbled. "But you really didn't like him?" she asked. She looked Mary and Marlene in the eyes.

"Lily," Marlene stated. She gave her a look. "When people call him greasy, they mean it." She wrinkled her nose again. Lily rolled her eyes.

"He's not exactly well washed but he never smells bad. And-." She paused and glared at her hands. "You know what he always had this weird smell about him ever since I met him," she spit in spite.

"Yes! Finally!" Mary sat up. "You get it. It's like you've been blind all this time." Lily still frowned.

"This is a good thing, Lily," Marlene said. Lily nodded.

"No. I know that. Just. Thinking. I really didn't see it for such a long time. He lied to me!" Marlene nodded her head.

"We all kind of picked up on that, Lily." Mary smiled weakly. "This is just like you taking forever to realize he was friends with Avery and Mulciber. You didn't realize he had more friends and not only you until like third year."

"No." Lily shook her head. "I realized when he was getting letters during the first summer back home. I figured he'd get none because he hadn't really made any friends, but he got tons. He never stopped spending time with me, but he always had a letter to write as soon as he got home. For half the summer I thought he was making them up!" Lily slammed her face down into her hands. "I'm so stupid!"

"You're not stupid," Mary backtracked. "You're just thick sometimes." She came over and sat next to Marlene. She patted Lily's leg.

"Here I am telling myself he lied to me. He lied to me alright, but I was lying to myself. Telling myself he had no friends, he needed me, he liked me."

"Well you weren't lying about that," Marlene laughed. Lily looked up at her another confused frown on her face. "Come on, Lily. He's in love with you."

"NO!" Lily slammed her hands down on her bed. "He never loved me. You don't call someone you love that- that awful name." Lily's face scrunched up and she felt hot tears in her eyes. Marlene turned to wrap an arm around her but Lily pushed her off. "I'm fine." She crossed her arms around her chest.

"Lily," Mary sighed. "It's fine to be upset about this. He was very mean."

"No. What's mean is bullying someone every day until they snap at their best friend just because they can't fight their own battles," Lily ranted.

"This was not James's fault," Marlene exclaimed. "It's Snape's for thinking the way he does."

Lily stared at her bed. She had to admit Marlene was right. "Yeah," she whispered.

"Don't blame Potter," Mary said. "He's been bullying Snape for years. Just like Snape's been into the Dark Arts for years."

"I know that!" Lily groaned. "That's why I don't care how he feels anymore. He's been going too far with the Dark Arts. His secret spells. I know they do bad things to people. He used one today. He hit Potter with one of his cutting spells. His notebook is full of them. Next to them things like loss of blood, no spell will fix, awful things. I always told myself I saw the wrong words or he had a counter curse." She shook her head.

"You should report him to Dumbledore if he has spells like that," Mary suggested. Lily shook her head.

"No. I have nothing to go on. They're just scribbles in some notebook. Some of my hexes are in there. He'd blame it on me or, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they're medical spells or trying to figure out how to reverse a spell without a counter curse. I don't have enough knowledge to go to Dumbledore."

"You could just let him know Snape's making up spells. He'll keep a look out for something off," Mary suggested.

"I really don't think I should go. It will look like I'm searching for scraps to throw. Just to get him in trouble for calling me a Mudblood." Mary and Marlene cringed. "It's a word. I've been called it many times before. It's awful but... it's a word."

"Fine." They sat in silence for a minute each thinking hatful thought about Snape. "We should really get going if we're going to make dinner." Mary stood up and brushed off her skirt. Lily sat staring at her hands. Marlene took her arm and pulled.

"Come on, Lily. You can't rot away in here." She laughed when Lily rolled her eyes and came with them to the Great Hall. Lily saw Severus waiting close to the Gryffindor table, but when Lily came in with Marlene and Mary, he quickly walked toward the Slytherin table.

Two weeks went by with Severus apologizing every moment Lily was alone and James not asking her out once. James had even seemed to have matted down his hair, though she noticed it still stood on end straight out like the lip of a ball cap and reaching to the sky on the crown of his head. One day when Marlene was busy snogging some boy and Mary was with her boyfriend, Lily had to walk alone to Herbology. She spotted Severus by the hut, the second he spotted her he started walking toward her. Lily panicked. She looked around for someone to strike a conversation with. Severus wouldn't bother her if she was with someone. But she couldn't spot anyone except Sirius Black and James Potter.

She cursed under her breath and jogged over to them. "Potter," she quickly said. He stopped for her and looked back. He smiled.

"Evans," he replied. Sirius watched their exchange with raised eyebrows. He had talked to Lily that morning and she had seemed angry when James interrupted them with a question about Potions.

"Talk with me," Lily urged. She quickly wiggled in between them. Sirius looked around for a reason and almost smirked when he spotted a very confused and angry Severus Snape.

"About what?" James asked very amused.

"Why haven't you asked me out lately?" Lily almost cringed at her question. That made it seem like she wanted him to ask her out.

"Well." James messed with the straps of his bag. "I. Didn't want to bother you," he rushed. Lily frowned. When had that ever stopped him? "Were you going to say yes?" he asked.

"No." Lily bit her lip.

"Then why should I ask? No use in asking you out if you're just going to turn me down." He shrugged.

"When has that ever stopped you?" She looked up at him and suddenly realized he was very tall. He looked down at her and smirked.

"Since I realized I'll never get you if I keep irritating you." He shrugged again. Lily frowned. "Does that bother you?"

"So. You're still trying to ask me out?" She was now very confused.

"Nope. Not asking you out." Lily smiled.

"Thank you." She sighed. "If you would stop teasing people, we might be able to be friends." She grinned. Sirius flashed a look over at James. James didn't say anything.

"I'll work on that," he tensely said. Lily's smile got wider.

"I see you've tried to de-craze your hair." She pointed to his un-spiked hair.

"Oh." James smiled a little. Sirius rolled his eyes. James worked very hard to keep it down every morning, but he still had the habit to run his hand up through his hair. It didn't help he had the same number of cowlicks as he had fingers on his right hand. "Yeah. Well my father's been on me about it for years. He hates my hair." James chuckled nervously.

"Well, it looks." Lily smiled tightly. "Better." James smiled brightly.

"Really?" Sirius asked. "Cause no one else likes-." He made a noise of pain. James had used his extremely long arm to hit Sirius in the head. Lily quickly looked behind her but she saw nothing. She skeptically looked at James, he gave her that small smile, and she smiled back. They passed Severus chatting about how they enchant their notes to say mean things to the teachers who try to read them which caused Severus' blood to boil and Lily to laugh at James and Sirius' genius.