Sleep
Summary: There is no dreaming in the hatch.
Disclaimer: Lost and its characters belong to ABC and not me.
Rating: PG
Note: Spoilers for Live Together, Die Alone
The worst thing about being alone in the hatch (for now, at any rate, he'll think of something else in 108 minutes) is that he never gets any sleep. He no sooner closes his eyes than the alarm goes off, jolting him awake, forcing him to get up, to push the button.
He knows he can't do this much longer. He's cracking up, losing his grip on the world. Try as he might, sticking to the daily routine (but Make Your Own Kind of Music baby) is no longer working. It isn't enough to keep the doubts, the demons, at bay.
He's starting to think longingly of the guns.
Somewhere he read once that the human mind needs to dream in order to function properly. Remembering this makes him laugh bitterly. There is no dreaming in the hatch.
He gave up on his dreams of returning to Pen, of leaving the island, of getting his life back, the moment the clock flipped from the hieroglyphics back to the numbers. The moment the chaos in the hatch stabilized. The moment he truly understood just how important it was to push the button.
(The moment he understood that he was trapped here.)
No point now in going back to bed. He crosses his arms on the desk and rests his head on their cushion. He closes his eyes. 107 minutes now.
All he wants anymore is to sleep. When Kelvin was here (that bastard), they had a system. They took turns. The instant the clock hit the four-minute mark, one of them input the numbers and pushed the button. It was the only way they could sleep. But there is no one else now. There is only him.
No replacement coming. No one else on the island.
The alarm sounds. He startles awake (oh god already?) and blearily types in the numbers. Pushes the button. The clock flips back to 108.
He drops his head into his hands. He can't do this much longer. He can't. He can't.
The book he never got to read is calling. The guns are waiting.
Soon. Soon.
And then, he thinks, then, he will finally get to sleep.
END
Author's Note: I don't think I ever have felt such love and sympathy for a character as I do for poor Desmond.
