Chapter 1:

'Why did she have to sing about his lips? Does she still love me? Does she still love Sam? What is freakin' locker combination?'

As Brittany was struggling with her locker, I happened to need my Spanish book. I was actually debating whether or not i should risk a detention by not getting it so I didn't have to talk to her, but I opted against that idea.

Neither of us made eye contact. The awkward silence hung in the air for a few minutes until Brittany finally gathered enough courage to speak.

"Santana…"

I just kept my eyes focused on my book. I didn't want her to see that just saying my name makes me feel weaker. Brittany cut to the chase.

"Do you still love me?"

The question caused me to stop what I was doing in order to gaze into those ocean blue eyes. I thought for a minute. I wasn't thinking about my love for her. I was stalling. What is she up to?

"Why do you want to know?"

I don't know why I was avoiding the question. Of course I was still in love with the gorgeous blonde! The only reason I wasn't talking to Brittany was because I was trying to get over. However, even I knew that was never going to happen.

"I just want to know if I should be wasting my time with Artie.

Whoaa..did she just say 'wasting my time'? that means she does love me back. Even better, that means she wants to be with me. My mouth suddenly went dry, and I didn't know how to respond. Instead, I decided to hit Brittany with her own question.

"Well, do you still love Artie?"

"Of course I still love Artie," she replied.

Damn! Why is this chick so confusing! Why does she even bother talking to me about this if she still loves…him.

"Well, if you still love Artie, why do you want to know if I still love you?"

"Because I love you too, San."

I can't keep going through this.

"Britt, I can't just keep holding on just because you love both of us. It just hurts too much"

"Sure you can. Avril Lavigne totally wrote a song about it."

I'm assuming she picked up on my exasperated sigh, because she quickly changed the topic.

"You never answered my question, San. Do you still love me?"

My mind was racing. I didn't exactly know what to tell the beautiful girl standing in front of me. Should I risk getting my heart broken again by telling her my true feelings? I can't lie to Brittany. I'm an open book to her. Maybe she's testing me to see if I would be faithful in a relationship. Tears are now forming. I'm not an emotional person, at least, not in public. Brittany's only actually seen me cry, like once. I tried to take a deep breath, but it quivered.

"Yes Brittany, I'm still in love with you. I can't think of a time when I wasn't, and I don't think there will ever be a time when I am not. I love you so much, Britt, and seeing you with someone else kills me. I just want to know that you will mine forever, that we can camp out whenever, that we can see ducks together, and see any Disney movie you want. I can't stand being just friends, because my feelings are so much deeper than that, Brittany. I wish you would just see that. I don't exactly know how much you love me back, but I want you to know that you hold a very special place in my heart, Britt. You always have, and you always will."

I couldn't fight a tear that somehow managed to escape my eye. I had never told anyone my deep feelings like that, not even Brittany. When I looked back up, she wasn't hugging me, or crying, or kissing me. She was slamming her locker and walking away. What the hell! How could she break my heart again! But all I could do was watch my blonde walk the other way.