Hello Reader,
I've been a fan of Teen Titans, both the comic and the animated series, since before I could even do Algebra (curse you math).
This is my first take on creating my own stories with them because, well, when you adore something to the point of death, there's a lot of pressure on you when you start handling them.
Anyways, this is the first of a lot of awkward situations. Hope you enjoy it.
P.S. For those who watch 2 Broke girls, i got the inspiration of this chapter from season 4 of the show. Yes, when Max had her lady accident.
Everyone looked at Raven, shock turning into horror as her words sunk in. the empath, however, just sighed. "You guys don't have to be so dramatic about it. It's not a big deal," she said.
"Not a big deal?" Beastboy burst out, his hands flailing around above his head. "Not knowing how to ride a bike IS a big deal! It's like not knowing the cheat codes to Donkey Kong."
"Or changing a tire," Cyborg added.
"Or doing a cartwheel," Robin said thoughtfully. Starfire squeezed between him and Cyborg to join the fray. "Or constructing a norblath out of thorax wings," she said, wringing her hands together at the disturbing thought only she could understand.
"Well, I don't know how to do any of those either," Raven replied nonchalantly.
The Titans' eyes went wider as they gasped in unison. "You've got to be kidding!" Beastboy cried out, looking at Raven with wild eyes.
"I don't kid," Raven said, glaring at him, "which means I'm very serious when I say that I'm going to blow all of you to the roof if you don't stop ogling at me like I suddenly sprouted a second head."
"A second head wouldn't really be a surprise, Rae," Beastboy said, "I mean, you already have four glowing red eyes." Raven gave him a threatening snarl, making him jump away from her. Sensing Raven's annoyance, Robin stepped in between the two and held his hands up.
"Alright, calm down," he ordered, his voice taking on a commanding tone. "There's no need to kill each other over the fact that Raven – pfft."
Robin's shoulders shook as his hand shot up to cover his mouth. "That Raven can't…" A series of sniggers cut his sentence off.
Raven's eyes went wide in disbelief as she looked at Robin, who was losing his control and was now freely laughing. It didn't take long before the others followed his lead. Snickers quickly turned into boisterous guffaws as everyone held their stomachs.
"I'm sorry, Rae," Robin managed to gasp in between the laughter, "It's just that –" And he was once again cut off by his uncontrollable mirth. Starfire looked at her apologetically as well, unable to keep her own laughter in check.
"It's not funny," Raven said through gritted teeth.
"Hell yeah it is," Cyborg answered, wiping a tear form his eye. "I'm sorry, Rae, we love you but, come on! Starfire knows how to ride a bike and she's not even from here."
"Dude, even kids can ride bikes," Beastboy said, sneering at Raven, who looked like she wanted nothing more than to claw at his face. A bubble of rage was slowly building up inside of her despite all her efforts to stay calm. She wouldn't be so bad-tempered if they didn't keep on repeating the fact that she couldn't ride a freaking bike. To laugh at her was one thing, but they were beginning to sound like a broken record, and they was stuck in a song she did not like.
Starfire was watching Raven while Beastboy and Cyborg were playfully teasing her and saw that the empath was not taking it very well. She elbowed a now collected Robin and whispered, "I do not think friend Raven is amused."
Robin turned to see Raven, her usually pale skin now tinged with red. It was clear, however, that she was not blushing. She was seething.
"You know, there's this video on Youtube of a cat riding a-"
"That's it! Give me that damn bike." Raven silenced Beastboy with a shove as she walked towards Robin's bike. She grabbed the handle bars and pushed the bike towards the dirt path that Cyborg and Robin had made days ago.
The titans looked at each other before running off after Raven.
"Rae, what do you think you're doing?" Cyborg demanded, stepping in front of Raven and stopping her by placing a heavy hand on one of the handle bars. Raven gave him an annoyed look before swatting his hand away. "I'm going to ride a bike," she answered simply.
"Yeah, but that's a complicated bike, Raven, it's not really for beginners," Robin explained, placing his own hand on the handlebars.
"Beginners should start with training wheels, Rae. I saw a pink bike with ribbons and a horn down at the bike shop downtown. I'd be perfect for you," Beastboy teased. Robin and Cyborg both glared at him, warning him to cut it out. He ignored them and kept going, enjoying himself too much. "It's just as high as my hip, so if you ever fall down, it won't hurt that much."
Raven bared her teeth at the green changeling. "I can ride a stupid bike," she hissed, "I don't need training wheels." With that, she pushed Cyborg and Robin away with her powers and quickly got on the bike. She clutched at the handlebars tightly as she placed her feet firmly on the pedals. Giving Beastboy one last venomous look, Raven pedaled and shakily rode through the dirt path.
Robin and Cyborg dusted themselves off and gave each other worried looks.
"That dirt path's too rough for her, man," Cyborg said. Robin was just about to run after Raven when Starfire held him by the shoulder.
"Wait, friends. Friend Raven seems to be doing well," she said, a combination of happiness and pride in her voice. The others followed her gaze and, sure enough, Raven was making her way through the track in a steady albeit unstable manner.
"She…She's doing good for a beginner," Robin murmured.
"Good?" Cyborg shrieked, making the others jump. "She's killing it, man! I fell down a dozen times before I even got the wheels turning."
Starfire clapped her hands, ecstatic at her friend's success. "Oh, joy! We should prepare a-"
"HOLE!"
Starfire's musings were cut short by Beastboy's shrill scream as he pointed towards Raven. The others narrowed their eyes to see what he was pointing at, only to have them widen at the sight of deep rut in the middle of the track. Raven had seen it too, but much to her shame and dismay, had no idea how to steer the bike away, nor did the thought of pulling the breaks cross her mind. She prepared herself for her inevitable doom. What happened next, however, was something no one could have prepared for.
The front wheel dove into the depression, causing the bike to skid into a stop. The sudden impact pushed Raven off the seat and, in a gloriously humorous turn of events, onto the top tube. Raven couldn't even scream when her most sensitive of body parts collided against the cold steel of Robin's bike. Her hands instinctively clutched at the handle bars tightly as her wobbling legs tried to steady themselves.
Behind her, the Titans were staring at her with jaws wide-opened.
"Do you think?" Cyborg asked.
"We should check," Robin replied slowly, too dazed to know what to say.
They were at Raven's side in a second, but neither of them were sure how to act in a situation like this. Starfire, who was most empathetic to Raven's plight considering that she had an idea of how painful a blow to the female peaches would feel, placed a hesitant hand on her friend's shoulder and asked, "Friend Raven, are you alright?"
It was Beastboy who opened his mouth to answer. "Alright? Dude, did you see how hard she hit that top tube? There is no way in hell she's alright. It looked so painful, my nuts could feel it," he said without inhibition, much to everyone's chagrin. He did not stop there, however. Placing his hand on Raven's other shoulder, he continued. "Damn, Rae, I can only imagine how excruciating it must be for you right now."
"Beastboy," Robin said, a warning tone in his voice.
"I mean, it's a miracle you're still standing up! With that force, I imagine you must have concaved inside yourself."
"Cut it out, man," Cyborg hissed, looking warily at Raven, whose hood covered her face from their view.
"Dude, I can't even begin to imagine how painful it must be for you to pee afterwards. Your lady part is going to sting for days."
In a flash, Raven's hand shot out and grabbed Beastboy by the collar of his suit. She brought him down to face her and glared at him, four demonic eyes showing themselves from under her hood.
"If you don't shut your fucking trap from talking about my lady part, I will punch your face so hard you're going to concave deeper than the freaking Pacific Ocean. I can only imagine how painful that's going to be for you," she snarled, her voice a cacophony of all things fearful and unpleasant.
Beastboy chuckled nervously. "No more lady parts," he said, his voice wavering.
Raven let him go with a shove and sighed, collecting herself. After a few intensely frightening moments for the Titans, Raven reached a hand out and said in a soft voice, "Please help me off this cursed bike. I'm in too much pain to move."
Cyborg and Robin immediately got a hold of both of her arms while Starfire steadied the bike from underneath her.
"Do you think you could raise your leg over to one side, Rae?" Cyborg asked.
Raven looked at him with wide, bewildered eyes, her face crossing between shock, anger and desperation. "Cyborg, my nether regions feel like the pits of hell and they hurt like a mother. The only reason I'm not peeing in pain right now is that I'm concentrating every fiber of my being and every ounce of my powers towards my messed up vagina. So, please, do not make me do anything that'll make me wish the world would open and swallow you up," she shrieked out uncharacteristically. By the way she was pleading, Robin knew she was close to losing it.
After a few embarrassed apologies from Cyborg, Starfire gently lifted Raven off the bike. The alien was just about to hand Raven over to Robin when the empath clutched at her neck.
"Please spare me the embarrassment of Robin asking me if my privates are doing well and carry me back to the tower yourself, Star," Raven asked.
"I wasn't going to ask you that," Robin cried out defensively. Beastboy and Cyborg gave him a look, which made him scratch his head sheepishly and admit, "Okay, maybe I was."
Before Starfire could fly off to the tower, Raven turned and directed a hand towards Robin's bike, sending a wave of her powers to knock the bike off the ground and hurtling it towards the sea. Robin's eyes grew wide in shock as he gave a chocking cry. "What the hell, Rae?"
"That bike was spawned from hell," Raven replied.
"That was a gift from Batman," Robin retorted.
"Even worse."
